Helix stages Vol 3: us 2 little gods
by onelildustbunni
Summary: What's life like, going to the Xavier Institute with two Shrimps and a special needs class? Not to mention a squad. Picks up where vol 2 ended. See author page for more in the Helix series. ::New X-men::Hellion/X-23::Julian Keller / Laura Kinney::
1. 1: september 1:2 head count

**Title: **Helix Volume 3: us 2 little gods

**TITLE NOTE: **This volume is named '_us 2 little gods_' after the Dido song.

**Pairing: **Hellion / X-23

**Prequels: **Helix Volume 0: Year Zero, Helix Volume 1: the first try, Helix Volume 2: another version of the truth _(see author page for these volumes)_

**Rating: **M (profanities, sexually suggestive content--nothing explicit or NC-17 though)

**Summary: **The Shrimps have been born, and now Laura and Julian are learning to cope...but apparently that's not enough on their plate. Squads, Special Ed,  
and chaos, oh my! And underlying it all is a dark shadow of things to come. Should be an interesting read, I hardly have floof planned for these two!

**A/N: **The first chapter of volume 3! Enjoy!

* * *

**  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "September" 1 Issue: 1/2)**

 **Chapter 81 : head count ******

* * *

"Keller, Julian."

"Present." Julian shifted; he'd been holding Nate for the past hour, and his arms were aching. The boy had blossomed, almost doubling in size in the  
five or so months since his birth. Granted, he _had_ been quite tiny—but still.

"Keller, Laura."

"Present," Laura said, beside him. She had the other one—Rachel—who had grown at an identical rate. The girl was sucking her thumb and watching  
Cyclops with her distrustful green eyes as she spoke.

"Keller, Nate and Rachel," Scott paused. "Who will _not_ be attending the institute, despite attempted applications, due to the fact that they  
are newborns."

Laura looked away.

"Nice try on the loans, though," he added. "I almost approved it. You forge Emma's signature really, _really_ well, Laura."

A titter of laughter amongst the students.

Scott continued to read his list.

"Kincaid, Cessily…absent." He made a mark on his clipboard.

"Mantega, Sofia….absent." He made another mark.

Nate kicked his legs in the air, seeing a squirrel run past in the distance. He was all big smiles.

"Alright…most of us are here," Scott said finally, holding his clipboard up. "Now to announce a few changes this year, and explain the  
squad system. The school is—HOLY CRAP!"

The clipboard clattered to the ground, and Scott looked around. He'd jumped several feet straight into the air.

"Oh my god, he _really_ did it," Julian whispered to Laura, grinning. Emma's hands were on her hips; she glared at the air by Scott's shoulder and  
snapped her fingers. Rocks suddenly clattered across the ground and piled together to form a somewhat human shape.

"Detention, Rockslide," Emma said icily, but the damage had been done—_everyone_ was going to remember Scott declaring the school was 'holy crap'.

Scott cleared his throat. "If everyone's quite done disrupting this…just remember, the more you interrupt me, the longer this will _take._"

Silence.

"Alright. First off, we have some new _teachers_ at the institute, due to our loss of Mrs. Jean Grey-Summers, and Xorn. In place of headmistress is  
Miss Emma Frost. You may go to her or to me—or to your councilors with any problems. And in place of Xorn this year we have Julian Keller, as a  
junior teacher, for the Special Needs class. I'm sure he'll do a fine job."

Julian looked at Laura nervously. Emma had approached him that August, having heard he was looking for a job to pay for upcoming Shrimp-costs, and  
had surprised him by offering him Xorn's class. There was very little actual teaching—more guidance and supervision—like a friend, she said—and she  
had told him that she was offering him the position on the condition that he would still attend his own courses. The Special Needs class was being  
reduced to two classes per week, for two hours per session. She'd also hinted that they'd be watching him to see how he handled himself as an  
'adult', and Julian had taken it to mean one thing—he was being considered for the X-men.

"Now for the squad roster. Emma Frost, headmistress, will advise the Hellions, lead by Julian Keller (Hellion) and Laura Keller (X-23). Danielle Moonstar  
will advise the New Mutants squad, lead again by Sofia Mantega (Wind Dancer) and David Alleyne (Prodigy). Xi'an Coy Manh will advise the  
Alpha Squadron…" he continued on with a list.

Several students craned their necks to where Julian and Laura stood, probably wondering if they'd bitten off more than they could chew. They were  
wondering this themselves; as the children were remarkably quiet and intelligent, they'd both enrolled in school again (Laura part time), with a  
special arrangement to bring them into the classrooms with them.

Still.

**…**

"So, I hear you picked my squad," Julian said to Laura, grinning, as the meeting adjourned. "Picked me, too. I'm flattered."

"More like you infected me with your sperm," Laura said, putting Rachel down on the grass. The girl tottered off, already running on her two short legs.  
The children had not only inherited Laura's claws, but her healing factor—they'd developed at a remarkable rate.

"Whoa, come back here!" Laura ran after the girl and caught her hand.

"Squell," Rachel said solemnly, pointing at the squirrel in the grass.

They'd started talking around three months old. Julian had set them both in their child seats at the table, turned his back to put toast in—and had  
almost had a heart attack when Nate spoke up (he'd fried the bread he was holding with a telekinetic explosion). "Joo," Nate had said, pointing at  
his father. Rachel had nodded in agreement. "Joo!" she'd said, banging her fists on the tabletop.

They refused to call him dad.

Of course, Laura had become 'mum' and they'd gone on to form names for everyone at the mansion. All their words were monosyllabic (except for one  
special name they'd created), and they hadn't learned to form sentences yet, but it was still quite impressive. Their vocabulary had grown to include  
about a hundred words.

"Squirrel," Laura corrected.

"Squell," Nate said firmly. He made a motion at the ground. "Joo!"

Julian let him go, and the boy ran after his sister, his fists balled up. "Why the hell won't any of you people refer to me properly?"

"Because _you're_ not proper," Laura teased. She crumpled up the program and threw it into the bin nearby, watching the two toddler-like children begin  
to play with a flower in the grass. Rachel had admired it for a while, then Nate came and ripped it out by its roots quite violently, and both children  
had been amused.

"Oh my god. We're raising monsters," Julian said, running a finger through his hair. "Do you really think I did the right thing, accepting Frost's offer?"

"Stop worrying about it," Laura said. "At least let yourself get used to it before you decide you can't handle it."

"Mmm." Julian glanced at her; he'd gotten quite a bit of envy from the other married couples at the institute over the fact that Laura had completely  
reverted to her pre-pregnancy form, her cells having regenerated. Like it had never happened. The only evidence was the two Shrimps tearing the  
flower apart on the lawn, giggling evilly.

Nate raised it to his mouth.

"No!" Julian yelled, stopping him mentally. "Don't eat flowers! BAD!"

Both Shrimps shrieked with laughter. What _really_ worried Julian was the fact that the children loved being scolded—nothing made them happier than  
hearing they had done something wrong. They had inherited Laura's enjoyment of his worry, it seemed. It was an odd mix—they were quiet and well  
behaved in public, but they liked to plot things.

It was like they shared a brain or something.

"We should hire them out to weed the lawn," Laura said.

"Uh huh. I have to go, first class is starting in an hour. It'd be weird, to be late, when I'm, uh, teaching it. I'll help you take them in first."

Laura half-smiled at him. "Don't worry your pretty head over me, Keller…the Shrimps _listen_ to mum. They know she wears the pants in this household,  
and that Joo's just for her amusement."

"Whatever." Julian wrapped his arm around her and kissed her softly. "See you later."

He turned and headed towards the Special Ed door, and Laura watched him go, then moved towards the Shrimps. Rachel had gotten up and started  
to chase a butterfly, her hands waving in the air.

"Whazzat?" the girl asked her without turning around. Laura suspected she shared her enhanced senses; Nate, as well.

"Butterfly," Laura said, kneeling behind the girl. She was fascinated by her children; the new scents—a blend between hers and Julian's—the sounds,  
different than an adult—the movements of their bodies as they lurched around on their feet, still a bit imbalanced. "It's a monarch butterfly."

At the same time, Laura found it hard to watch them, for a variety of reasons she hadn't admitted to herself yet, but there was a big one: she  
wondered how long they would remain so innocent.

"Bar-fly," Rachel said.

**…**

Laura spent the day out on the lawn with the Shrimps, teaching them new words. They learned 'sun', 'grass' and 'cloud', along with the new words of  
earlier—'chocolate', 'butterfly' and 'teacher' (all in their own peculiar accent, of course).

Around three o' clock Logan appeared from the mansion, a towel around his neck. He'd been teaching the defense class, which ran from one to two; it  
was a grueling hour of nonstop activity for his students. Laura had been the only one to _enjoy_ that class; she would be returning. Angel (who was not  
attending that class) had agreed to watch the Shrimps for an hour a day, as it was the only class that Laura couldn't really bring them to.

Laura and the Shrimps turned their head at his approach, at the same instant.

Logan waved. "Half-pint, Quarter-pints. How ya doin' today?"

"Not bad," Laura said. "They've discovered the elusive 'bar fly'. I can't wait to show them what a real one looks like."

Logan grinned. "Nah, that's _my_ job. I get to be cool Uncle Logan who—"

"MISTER MUM!" the Shrimps yelled together.

"I thought I told you to break that out of them," Logan snarled as the tots ran towards him. "People ain't gonna fear and respect an X-man with a  
name like that."

"It's accurate, though," Laura said reasonably. "I'm your clone. If I'm their mom, then _you're_ their mom, too. HAHAHA! Unless you want to say they  
have two daddies. Poor Keller. He loses either way."

Logan made a face, picking up Rachel. The Shrimps trusted Logan especially, almost as much as Laura, because his scent was very similar.

"Even _Wolvie_ is better than this, and I almost killed Lee every damn time she called me that.

"Are you threatening them?" Laura asked, her eyebrows raised. "I'm training them to attack, you know. They have little claws. Rachel got Keller in  
the leg last week, while he was watching TV."

"Good girl," Logan said, patting Rachel's head.

"Nate's worse…he waits till I bend over," Laura said. "I think he's a TnA man."

Logan grinned again and looked down at the boy who was standing near his leg.

"Sorry 'bout bein' away for a bit there. I had a…business call." Logan had disappeared for about a month to parts unknown, and Laura had been  
quite upset, having to field Shrimp-questions without knowing the answers. He'd come back last night and apologized, bringing Laura a  
'Goodbye Kitty' sweater from Japan that featured a cat head with X-eyes on the chest, and kitten ears on the hood. She'd forgiven him  
grudgingly, seeing how delighted the Shrimps had been.

He'd bribed them, too, with weird Japanese toys. He'd obviously spent time picking them out.

"Damn, they grow fast," Logan said. "They're twice as big as they were last time I saw them. I never seen muties that had powers at birth…well,  
maybe one or two…but these are pretty advanced."

"Mmm. Well, we know which side of the family _that_ came from," Laura said calmly. "Other than Nate's eyes, we've yet to see anything that Keller  
gave them, except for a love for making trouble."

"Aw, c'mon, that's hardly fair to the kid," Logan said. He put Rachel down; Nate tugged on his jeans, ready for his turn. Logan complied easily,  
hefting the boy up onto his shoulder (the tot grabbed his hair points for balance). "Not like _we're_ angels ourselves."

Laura grinned, too.

"How's Morph been?" Logan asked.

"He drops by the house to see the Shrimps every now and then. He's going to be teaching a drama class at the school this year. I might take it—he  
seems really creative. I still can't believe how convincing that Catfish thing was. I was totally buying into the idea that he was the world's biggest  
loser," Laura answered.

"Heh," Logan chuckled. "He _is_ pretty great. Made me laugh quite a bit in my day. You shoulda seen the time he pretended to be Rogue and got Gambit  
knocked out…oh and he's played Jean, too. There was even a time he called a fake mission meeting as Xavier, and sent us all off to the corner store  
to buy him hair care products. That was in the early days, when we didn't _know_ we had a shape-shifter in the house."

"Inspiring," Laura said. "Instead, _I_ just get plain old claws and a healing factor. What good is _that_ for screwing with people?"

"Comes in handy from time t' time," Logan said, now putting Nate down. The tots sat in the grass, watching the adults talk.

"Speaking of Gambit…I have him for French class, this year," Laura said, wrinkling her nose. "Do you know anything about him? I hear he's a womanizer."

Logan grinned. "More of a skirt-chaser." He liked Remy well enough—the kid could fight—but he didn't respect the way that the man whored himself  
out, at times. Before Rogue it had almost been a desperate lifestyle—now it just seemed a little perverted.

"Mmm. Doesn't he have some sort of weird charm power or something?" Laura asked.

"Yeah. Stuff's for the fairies." Logan paused. "He'd bang _anything_ that stayed still long enough, or at least ask it for its number."

"Sounds like Keller," Laura said. "Well—I guess he isn't _that_ bad. Only like six girls at this school he had his eye on."

"He got the Mantega shit out of his system?" Logan asked. Laura had once told him (when they'd gone out for drinks together) that Julian wasn't  
entirely over the other girl. Logan recalled—not having paid _much_ attention to the kids before Laura's arrival—that the boy _did_ originally have  
some sort of thing for Wind Dancer.

"Hardly. His hormones still go out of whack when he sees her." Laura paused. "He's too involved with me to _do_ anything of course…but it's still there. I've  
almost considered telling him to go bang her a few times and get it out of his system, but..." she looked at the Shrimps, who were now looking for clover.

"Hmm," Logan said. Then he raised his eyebrows. "Let me get this straight. We were just talking about shape-shifters, right? Particularly, a very gifted  
one, who is a good friend of mine, who _lives_ to jerk chains?"

"Oh my f—are you really thinking that?" Laura's eyes gleamed. "That is genius…pure genius. You make me proud to be your clone."

"Aw, shucks," Logan said.

**…**

Julian looked up from the desk as the door opened, and a student entered the room. It felt so different, to be sitting at the _head_ of the room, with the  
blackboard at his back. He wanted to run out the door screaming in panic, but Frost probably wouldn't be pleased. He reminded himself that the only  
objective was to make sure that everyone had fun. Failing that, make sure no one died. No learning, no life lessons, nothing that might stick with  
people for a long time.

"Hey, Ernst," he said as the wrinkly girl sat down in the corner.

"Hello, Hellion," Ernst said solemnly, her hands together.

The door opened again, and more people entered—Basilisk, Barnell, Angel and Blindfold. They waved at him, Barnell looking excited.

"Who's watching the brood?" Julian asked curiously.

"We have a babysitter," Barnell said. "Angel's going to take your course!"

"I can speak for myself, bird-brain," Angel grumbled. They sat down at tables beside each other.

Julian was getting more and more nervous. It was even scarier with the seats _full_. Of eyes. That stared at him. The door opened _again_—a girl with  
bubblegum pink hair. At first he thought it was Pixie, but on second glance it was most decidedly not. She smiled calmly at him, and he relaxed;  
she went to the back row and sat down. Two more students entered the room shortly afterwards; a girl with purplish hair, and a boy that seemed  
to be see-through. All the new students seemed to be preteens; he doubted that anyone in this class was over 14 (except for himself, Beak, and Angel).

He glanced down at the list Emma had handed him that morning.

"That should be everyone," he squeaked, then cleared his throat. "A-hem. Okay, so I'm going to do, uh, a head count. This is how Frost knows who  
needs extra therapy. I mean, if you're too traumatized to show up for a class that uses 'Cranium' for its exams…"

A few people seemed to find this vaguely amusing. He took this as a good sign.

"Barnell Bohusk." Beak waved. _Check._

"Ernst." He made a checkmark, having just seen her. _Check._

"Ruth Aldene." Blindfold nodded slightly. _Check. _

"Gaia." The pink-haired girl at the back smiled and waved. _Check._

"Sylvia Rockefeller-Black." The purple-haired girl nodded. _Check._

"Angel Salvadore." _Check._

"Bob Smitz." Basilisk nodded. Julian had forgotten his real name; he made another _check. _He'd asked Ms. Frost to give him _human_ names, not having  
agreed with Xorn's mutant names for everyone. He didn't know how to lead this class at all—but he did know he wanted to differ from Xorn in every  
way possible.

"Gilbert Wilde." The see-through boy waved.

"Okay, that's it," Julian put the paper in a drawer before he could lose it. "Uh, so, yeah, I'm…" he looked at the chalkboard, then picked up the chalk  
with his mind and wrote his name on it. It was considerably neater than using his hand—left-handed vertical _wasn't_ all that legible, with chalk—and  
he hadn't had to get up—a bonus because his legs were shaking. He could lead a team—he could fight Magneto—but he was _scared_ about telling these kids what to do.

What if he taught them something totally wrong?

"Don't call me Mister, or Professor, or anything," he said quickly. "Julian is fine. Or Hellion, if you like codenames. Do you guys have codenames?" Back in the day—when  
he'd been _their _age, he would've demanded they use titles. But now…he found other things seemed more important…such as being friendly and approachable. The burning  
urge to prove himself the 'biggest thing this year' was beginning to fade, and reality was setting in.

He'd asked Laura for ideas about what to _do_ with the class, about a week ago, and she had suggested making it about the students. Ask them questions—make  
them talk about themselves.

It seemed reasonable.

"I'm just Gaia," Gaia offered.

"No-see-um," the see-through boy said.

"Psyche," the purple haired girl said.

The rest remained silent, knowing he already _knew_ their codenames. Xorn had used nothing but. Xorn was just another trauma on their long list.

"What are your powers?" Julian asked next. "I'm guessing they come from your codenames."

"I warp reality," Gaia said easily. "I'm telekinetic…and I'm empathic. Cool, huh?"

Julian nodded. "I'm a TK too. Do you know much about it?"

"Not really," Gaia said. "I can do weird stuff. I don't like using it much—it scares people, and I _feel_ when people are scared of me."

"Oh," Julian said. "Makes sense, I guess."

"I'm a telepath, sort of," Sylvia said quickly, her voice sharp and very attention-demanding. "I can read and manipulate electromagnetic brainwaves. I can also  
move metal. I'm pretty good, so far."

"Practicing with paperclips?" Julian asked. He distinctly remembered the awful sessions with Dr. McCoy, after being shot in the head.

Sylvia shook her head. "Metal marbles," she said. "Dr. McCoy thought they would be less dangerous, for some reason. Something about metal points." She  
grinned. "I'm _really _powerful," she added.

"I see," Julian tried to shrug off the knowledge of how he'd changed Dr. McCoy's training methods (causing new safety precautions was never a good thing).

He looked towards the see-through boy's table and raised his eyebrows, waiting.

"I can be invisible," Gilbert said. "I haven't learned to control it all that well. I've scared some people shitless…it always happens at the worst times."

"You should talk to my friend Rockslide," Julian said, grinning as he remembered Santo's tale (and the true disturbance in his eyes when he'd related it).

"He has a _great_ story about that. In fact…"

**…**

"That was fantastic!" Barnell squawked when the other students had left. He and Angel had remained to help Julian lock things up.

"Not half bad," Angel said. "I appreciate the fact that you didn't treat us like we shared a brain. _That_ gets old fast."

Julian shrugged. "I tried my best…I think Sylvia's going to be the mouthy one of the group. Can you let me know if she starts being mean to anyone, or anything?"  
He'd caught her saying something quite impolite to Ernst, trying to intimidate her. That and the power comment. Sylvia reminded him of himself, oddly enough,  
when he'd been her age.

"Of course," Barnell said. "Will you be bringing the Shrimps over this Saturday?"

"Yeah. I think Rachel has a crush on Tito," Julian said, grimacing. He'd noticed his daughter staring at the leader of the Bohusk pack, and had been uncomfortable.

Laura had hissed in his ear that Rachel was a five-month-old baby and was highly unlikely to be experiencing any sort of hormone at this stage other than growth.

Still.

"Hah! Tito talks about her all the time," Angel said. "He thinks Nate's cool as hell. Those boys are going to get into so much trouble when they're our age…"

"Don't talk about it, please," Julian said. They reached the door and he locked it behind him, then followed them down the hallway. "I'm really, really scared as it is.  
I came here just four years ago, and _I_ was the one in the back row, trying to undo the teacher's shirt, and now _I'm_ the one writing on the chalkboard, with people  
to go home to. That actually bothers me a whole lot more than the whole Magneto thing."

They reached the main staircase.

"JULIAN!" Cessily shrieked, running up the staircase. She'd been away for the summer, at her parents'. Kevin had gone with her.

"He—OOF!" She had thrown her arms around his neck and knocked the wind out of him. "Wow…metal boobs," he coughed.

Cessily rolled her eyes and pulled away. "The first sentence you say to me this year, and it's about boobs," she said. "That is just typical."

"Not my fault they nearly collapsed my ribcage!" Julian rubbed his chest and grinned. "How you been? How'd they like him?"

"I don't think mom liked him at all," Cessily frowned. "Dad…well…he tried…"

"Aww. I think Kevin just needs a haircut. It's the whole emo-look that people don't like so good."

"I like it!" Cessily snapped.

"Okay, if you say so." Julian shrugged.

"Can I come over this weekend? I want to see the Shrimps! Are they big?"

"They can talk and walk," Julian said. "They're…well, they're really advanced. They're pretty much like one-year-olds now, maybe a bit more."

"Cool!" Cessily grinned. "Do they call you dad?"

"Uh, no." Julian paused. "They call me Joo."

"HAHAHA! Ohmigod, I love it!" Cessily said. "That's so adorable! I totally have to come over…I got presents for them…I want a nickname too!"

"How about 'Yap'? Or 'Mouthy'?" Julian teased. "Or—OW!" He rubbed his arm; Cessily had backhanded him quite hard.

"Such a jerk! Oh, wow, I have to go to class—see you on Saturday, kay?"

She didn't wait for an answer, bouncing off. Julian looked down the staircase and caught sight of another familiar figure. Sofia.

"SOF! Hey, Sof!" he shouted, waving.

The girl glanced up, waved, and headed towards him, smiling.

"Julian! How was your summer?"

"Too much to say," he said. "How was your vacation?"

Sofia looked great—her skin had darkened in a tan. It made her big brown eyes pop in her face, and her smile even brighter. And her hair…Julian shifted  
on the stairs. He might be taken, but it didn't mean he didn't still fantasize, occasionally.

"Good! I received a lot of sun, as you can see," Sofia said, with a big smile. "Just what I needed. Lying on the beach, with the waves as the only  
noise—after all the chaos of the school, lately."

Julian raised his eyebrows. _Not_ what he needed—the image of Sofia in a bikini.

"That's awesome. I could use a vacation, myself. But no—it's _bam, _one disaster to another. I haven't slept peacefully since…oh, I guess last September."

"You _do_ look tired," Sofia said, frowning. "Take care of yourself. Or better yet, have Laura take care of you."

"Heh, I wish."

"She does not?" Sofia looked concerned. Waiting for his answer. He almost had a '…' moment but stopped himself.

"Aw, well, she does. She tries. She's pretty busy, now," he grinned instead. "The Shrimps can _walk_ now. It's like staying one step ahead of disaster,  
unless they're strapped to your body."

Sofia smiled again. She liked Julian's children, very much so, and thought they were adorable.

Laura had gotten upset when Nate had started calling Sofia 'pwetty'—possibly copying Julian's behavior—and both had received a lecture about it. Rachel,  
meanwhile, called her Sofa. Julian noted that Laura made no effort to correct _this_ error (he even caught her whispering 'good girl', quite affectionately).

"I hear you are teaching a class here!" Sofia said.

"Yeah—Special Ed," Julian said. He didn't feel like using the word 'needs' right now. He was particularly on edge because the Shrimps had been too restless  
during the nights to get any alone time with Laura. It had been three weeks.

"How is it going?" Sofia asked, smiling.

"Not bad. Er—we just had our first class. Customers seem satisfied." He looked at his watch. "Well—I gotta get back…I promised Laura I'd show up so she  
could have a shower…they can't be left alone for a _minute._ They go straight for all things electrical."

Sofia hid a giggle with her hand. Julian waved at her and backed away. "Take care—see ya soon," he said, then turned and left.

"Bye, Julian!" Sofia called after him.

**…**

Laura looked over as the door opened. She was cooking supper for herself and Julian (the Shrimps were still on milk); some sort of pasta, with meatballs.

"Hi," she called. _Snff._ Her eyebrow raised—just one. She smelled traces of Cessily—and _Sofia_—and from Julian's pulse rate and slight pupil dilation, she could  
deduct that he'd been quite turned on by her appearance. _Probably has a tan, _Laura thought mildly. She'd known the girl was going for a tropical vacation—  
she was jealous. When did _she_ get the time to just take off and relax, doing nothing but sipping alcohol on the beach?

Granted, she'd rather be at the bar, getting wasted, but—

"Hey yourself." Julian pulled out one of the two barstools at the counter and sat down, watching her. More particularly, her figure. She _knew_ what he wanted,  
but he wasn't about to get it—she was annoyed with him, and the Shrimps were far from sleepy, having a Duplo fight on the dining table.

"Smells good," he said. "Looks good, too." She raised her eyebrow; his words were about the food, but his eyes were still on her. She stirred the contents of  
the wok, then began to slop it into the two bowls beside it.

"KEEL!" Nate shouted, smashing his Duplo against Rachel's. The little girl sniffled. "MUM!"

"Oh, for god's sakes." Laura moved around the counter and put her fist on the table. "Nate—stop it, _now._ Rachel, nobody likes a crybaby. Both of you calm  
down, they're _plastic blocks._"

The Shrimps looked down, ashamed.

Then Nate looked up and stared at Laura's breasts. "Boobs?" he asked hopefully. They'd learned the word from Julian, who had covered up the mistake by  
telling them he meant food; this had turned out to be an even bigger mistake, as they now used this word in public.

"Boobs!" Rachel clapped her hands.

Laura looked up and caught Julian looking, quite obviously, down her tank top. For a different reason.

"You're _last_ in line," she said, sneering at him. She picked Nate up and carried him to the other room, too irritated to allow Julian to watch at this moment.


	2. 1: september 2:2 control

**A/N: **Thx much for the kind reviews and interesting questions!

* * *

**  
_zackslacker18- _**_are you going to give the kids additional powers?_**  
Answer: **Read and see xD

_**anon**__**-** __Coy manh that's Karma right?_ _You do know the claws are really bones...  
_**Answer: **Yes, Xi'an Coy Manh is Karma. And yes, I'm rehersed in the history of both Wolverine and X-23. I own the Origins TPB and all the X-23 TPB's,  
plus have been a Wolverine fan for years. Laura only has adamantium-laced claws; her skeleton was not coated due to the risk of stunting her skeletal  
growth. The process was quite horrific and done without anesthetization (the doctor hated Wolverine and therefore the clone of Wolverine (X-23), and  
took petty revenge in this way).

I am also aware of the usual manifestation at puberty. However some mutants have been known to be born with powers at birth--Nightcrawler, the  
Messiah Complex baby (first born since M-Day), and (it is suspected but not proven that) Mystique was born with active powers as well. X-23 herself  
was shown to have claws at birth. As you get further on in this story it will be revealed as to why the Keller Shrimps were born with powers active.  
It's all a part of the plot...I've said too much!

_**anon- **Hey I wonder does her hymen repair itself, that's not creepy that I wonder about that is it  
_**Answer: **LOL. I laughed out loud when I read this review. Scientifically speaking...probably? Unless it broke before her healing factor was active...she was  
eight or so when this manifested (they used radiation poisoning to jumpstart her powers). Activity could cause breakage.

_**Laura K. Howlett- **Another amazing chapter of what is looking (obviously) to be another amazing volume. That last part, with Nate then Rachel and Julian  
being "...last in line" was cute. I'm glad your staying with and still exploring Laura's insecuritys with Sofia and Julian still being attracted to her, the Morph  
plot is going to be fun I can tell. Is there a way I can get you some web address, Yost talked a bit more about Julian appearing in X-Force._  
**Answer: **Aww, thanks! Yes...if you like that then you will definitley like what is coming. I have enormous plans on the Sofia front. That is all. :P Oh and  
feel free to either post comments on the helix blog with links, or e-mail me (address is on blog, just added it--didn't realize it wasn't up before)...I've been  
scouring the web trying to find Yost quotes. Like a puppy looking for scraps.

* * *

**  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "September" 1 Issue: 2/2 )**

 **Chapter 82 : control ****  
**

* * *

_Bang!_ Laura's book bag, in French class. She'd taken a seat in the back, as opposed to her usual front-row preferences. The one course she didn't  
share with Julian (except for math—_she'd_ already passed, but he had a year left to meet the requirements for graduation).

Nori entered the room, grinning, and headed for her table.

"I saw Keller hanging around the Special Ed classroom again," Nori said. "Did they finally put him _in _it? That's totally his calling."

"He's the teacher," Laura said. "Of what, I'm not entirely sure. Maybe he's demonstrating how _not_ to do things. Like 'Hey, kids! If you keep acting  
like that, you're going to end up like me, a twenty-year old high-school drop out with two kids, teaching retards!'"

Nori was delighted. "HAH! Oh my god. That should be his job description! Woah woah—are they actually _paying_ him?" her face suddenly straightened.

"I thought _David _would make teacher first, if any of us did. They picked _Keller?!_"

"Again, the two kids," Laura said. "I think Emma's worried about him. Not that he doesn't work hard—but he'd totally be in over his head if something  
happened to the school. She's trying to make sure he has some job experience—shape him up for the real world a bit."

"Grr," Nori flipped her book open. "Hey, maybe _I_ should have kids! Would they make me a teacher too?"

"I doubt it," Laura said. "People don't feel sorry for you if it's intentional."

"Hrmpf. How's Rae and Nate?"

"They're good. Hungry little leeches. I'm quite sore."

"I can't wait till they're bigger," Nori said. "The fun starts when they're about five, and they can have conversations with you. I _loved_ my cousin at  
that age. Not so much when she grew up. But…" Nori grinned.

"I don't want to think about them getting older," Laura said, looking at her book. "They're perfect _now._ The world's just going to get dirt and stains  
all over them, and I don't want to see it." Laura paused. "Do you think Gambit's going to teach us how to _swear_ in French?"

"He better," Nori said seriously.

**…**

"How'd it go?" Julian whispered from the couch as Laura opened the door.

He frowned, seeing her scowl; she dropped her book bag on the floor with a _thud._ "Less said, the better. It's a waste of time," she said loudly. She'd  
hated the teacher, Remy, as soon as she had laid eyes on him. Then she had gotten into an argument with him over his method (spending only 10  
minutes of each class speaking French) and had been asked to leave the class for the day until she 'cooled down' enough to see reason.

"Shhh!" Julian scowled at her, then looked down. Rachel had curled up, asleep on his chest; Nate was quietly playing with his Duplos in the corner,  
building some sort of lopsided fort.

Laura sighed and tugged her jacket off (the goodbye Kitty sweatshirt), slightly tickled by the scene, but also further annoyed, in the bad mood she  
was in. She couldn't even go to her room and throw a tantrum anymore—there were small, squishy creatures and Keller occupying the space.

"C'mere," Julian said, holding out his arm. He'd seen her look.

She ignored him and headed for the bedroom, thinking at least she could close the door and be alone for a while. She shut the door firmly and threw  
herself headlong in the bed, in the dark.

There was the side of her that was happy about all this. Keller, the Shrimps, the house.

And then there was the aching, confused side of her. Something hidden, yearning to break free. The same old monster wearing a different outfit. The  
monster was telling her something, telling her to run, to get out while she still could. This was how she silenced it.

Laura sat up in bed, a claw sliding out slightly, and she drew it up her arm, her lips pressed together firmly.

This felt good. She hadn't done it for a long time—too long. She stabbed deeper, and a drop of blood almost fell on the bed sheet. She licked it off in time,  
closing her eyes and remembering the days that she'd done this every day, when it had been a routine. School, a joint with lunch, more school, shoot up  
with Megan, then retreat to her room. Lock the door. And scratch her arm till the sensations stopped. Then have a sandwich.

A couple minutes passed, her cutting deeper and deeper. Ten minutes. Twenty minutes. She began to relax.

Footsteps. _Snkkt, _her claw glided back in smoothly, the wound healed up, and she swabbed her arm with her tongue, neatly erasing all traces  
of her activities.

The door opened, and Julian looked in, frowning. "Laura?"

She eyed him through her hair. "What? You want something?"

"Yeah. To know why you just shut the door in my face to come sit in the dark, you freak. Your son's been calling you for the past half hour."

"Oh." Had it really been that long?

"Something you want to talk about?"

Of course. Keller—Julian—didn't understand what she was feeling right now. _He_ was happy, typical. She curled her lip at him. "No."

Julian rubbed his neck absently, then shrugged and disappeared. A few moments later—"NO! BAD! You crazy little monster!"

Shrieks of baby laughter (from both Rachel and Nate). _Zzzt, _an electrical noise—Julian plugging something back in. "Laura, they were playing  
with the TV outlet again! Nate had a fork!"

Laura hugged her knees. "Tell him we're very disappointed, and that the company is thinking of letting him go," she said flatly.

"Tell him yourself." Julian carried the miscreant in, who was indeed holding a metal fork in one hand, sucking the other hand's thumb. He  
deposited the tot in her lap with a disgusted look, then hurried back to the living room, sensing Rachel would soon find something to  
occupy herself with.

"Nate," Laura sighed and studied him. His big blue eyes looked up at her guiltily, knowing _exactly_ what he'd done wrong. "You're a big let  
down, little man, playing with our Hydro. That —stuff—'s expensive and you shouldn't waste it on _forks."_

"Mum," Nate said solemnly. He sniffed the air—_snff_—and looked upset.

"Grr." Laura realized he could smell the blood, and got up, the boy still in her arms. "Keller! I have to take a shower!"

"Can I come?" he asked, grinning.

"Um, no," Laura returned the favor of dropping Nate in his lap. "_You're _watching Dennis the Menace and making sure he doesn't have more  
adventures. My god, I had to have kids, and I picked the guy named 'Hellion'. You think that would be warning enough…" She stuck out her  
tongue at him, then grinned at his suddenly vacant expression and disappeared. He watched her go, then Nate slammed a small hand on  
his nose, distracting him from whatever he'd been thinking.

"Hey! That's _rude,_" he said, wrapping his index finger and thumb around the wrist and gently trying to pry it off; Nate was quite content to  
hold it however, and eventually fell asleep in this position.

**…**

Laura leaned her chin on her hand, seated at the kitchen table, with a sheet of homework in front of her. Julian was sitting across from her,  
trying to _create_ a sheet of homework (the Shrimps soundly asleep in their cribs).

"Oh, my god. What am I supposed to ask a group of special needs students to do, on their own? How do I even _grade_ this? I don't know  
how the system works!"

Laura sighed. "I dunno, Keller…hard to teach a course you should be _in,_ huh?"

"Like I haven't heard that one before." Julian looked lost. "Grr…should I ask them more about themselves?"

"Do you _want_ to hear anything more about them?"

"No. I mean, yes. I mean—you _know_ what I mean."

Laura wrote down something quite rude for question 7a. "Do I now?"

"Mmm." Julian stared at the blank word document (on his laptop). "Should I, what, ask them about humans? Their bad experiences? I could  
give a trophy for the worst one."

"HAHAHA!" Laura found this amusing. "The Tear of the Year goes to…"

Julian glanced over at her. "_You_, 'coz that's the first time I've heard you laugh in a bit. I still want to know what is going _on_ with you…"

"Nothing," Laura said calmly, scribbling another surprise rude answer for twelve C. She liked to mix up her patterns; twenty answers, with five  
rude ones scattered in random places throughout the assignment.

"You're okay, then," Julian said, still not believing her.

"Yes." This technically wasn't a lie—she _was_ fine. Just struggling with some thoughts she didn't want to share. She flew through the rest of  
the answers, then pushed out her chair and got up.

"Wha—where you going?" Julian called after her as she headed towards the bedroom, containing the sleeping Shrimps, ruffling her hair  
with one hand.

"Bed," Laura said calmly. She entered the bedroom and reached for the hem of her tank top, then paused as she realized he'd followed her  
to the door and was watching her, leaning on the doorframe.

"Excuse me," she whispered.

"Go ahead." Julian nodded.

"I don't want to. I'm not in the mood. Go back to making your special homework, I'll be just fine here."

"…" Julian folded his arms. "I'm not going anywhere."

She turned, headed for the bathroom, and closed the door. Locked it. She sat on the toilet seat and tried to understand why she was so  
irritated—he really _hadn't _done anything wrong lately. Except for that one little Sofia thing—and even then she couldn't actually penalize  
him for a crime.

She got up and turned the shower on, figuring the steam might relax her. She remembered when she was seven and her mother used to  
make her take a hot shower when she was angry. It had always made her angrier, but it _was_ relaxing. She leaned her head against  
the tiles and closed her eyes.

**…**

Laura finally calmed herself down (and cheered herself up somewhat), wrapped her hair in a towel and opened the door. No Julian. She  
could hear him typing in the kitchen—she was surprised he hadn't stayed around to sulk about her shutting him out. She knew she wasn't  
being fair with the description but she didn't care. She picked out nightwear—she liked to be dressed, now, because a night hadn't gone  
by yet without a Shrimp-related disruption (often a toy would be mysteriously catapulted out of the crib and complaints would wake  
everyone up). The best instance, in her opinion, was when Nate's plush octopus had sailed through the air and landed on Julian's  
face, mid-snore. He hadn't found it as funny as she had, for some reason.

She unwrapped her towels and dressed, then grabbed the edge of the quilt on the bed and pulled it up. She hesitated and looked towards  
the kitchen, nagged by guilt. _He's a big boy,_ she told herself, getting in. She laid down, moved to get comfortable, closed her eyes. Then  
sighed and got up, still looking at the kitchen; she shuffled towards it reluctantly, getting annoyed again. What had happened to the  
times before when she could sleep through nuclear warfare and drug fights—not to mention spats with Julian—and feel nothing?

In the kitchen, he looked very intent on his laptop, reading whatever he'd created. She stood in the doorway of the bedroom, observing  
him—had she really only known him a year? He was becoming so familiar already. She realized that this was probably because she'd spent _  
a lot_ of time with him, more than most couples at the mansion—or anywhere. _I need more friends,_ she thought.

"Keller."

He didn't look up, still reading. "Just a sec."

Laura rolled her eyes and approached the table, then sat down beside him.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, looking away. At the toaster—the fridge—anything but him, because she hated apologizing.

"For?"

"You _know_ what for," Laura said, her lip curling.

Julian finally looked at her. "I dunno…did you do something unusual? For you, I mean? I didn't notice anything but…"

"Oh, my god, forget it." She folded her arms and glared at him.

"Laura…I don't know what's wrong if nothing obvious has happened and you don't _tell_ me. I flunked telepathy…you should know that." He  
grinned. "Frost told me I 'couldn't read a thought if it was written on her forehead with a neon sharpie marker'."

"Mostly because you'd be too busy staring at her boobs," Laura said dryly.

"Mmm. Boobs. Haven't seen _any_ for a while," Julian saved the document and turned off the laptop. "Got milk?"

Laura flipped him the bird. "I'm having a hard time accepting my new role in life as a human _cow,_ please excuse me if I'm not all that  
eager to add a third party."

"Pfft. I was there first. Little monsters took over. If I'd have _known_ this was what would happen, I might've been more adamant in my  
support of pro-choice." He closed the laptop and turned to face her. "So, what? You going to tell me what your problem is? Is there  
like a third baby in there that wasn't paying attention when you were having the other two? Or did all the PMS you missed build up?"

Laura flickered between amusement and annoyance. "I don't know," she said in a small voice. "I can't tell you what's wrong because  
I don't know. I'm angry at nothing."

"I could give you something to be angry about, if that's what you want."

"Grr." She hesitated, then wrapped her fingers around his wrist. "Let's…go to bed…maybe I'm just tired."

"Okay." He followed her to the bedroom, and peeked in at the sleeping Shrimps to make sure all the toys (and tots) were accounted  
for. Stuffed prawns—stuffed lobsters—stuffed octopus—and stuffed crabs (Pinchy), all there. Laura had found them at an aquarium  
gift store they'd taken them to last month, and had decided it was too ironic to pass up.

Julian cared about the Shrimps—a lot—but he _didn't_ care all that much about being woken up over missing plushies. He wondered if they  
should put some sort of mesh thing over the cribs, to prevent octopi launches, but that would give them a sort of terrarium feel, so he  
kept quiet (although he secretly thought it was a very good idea).

Laura was already stretched out in bed; he moved towards it and got in, sneaking a glance at her and wondering if he could somehow  
motivate her to _do_ something. He was dying, literally dying, for all his normal behavior. It had been almost a month! He was starting to  
use exclamation marks in his head to describe his situation.

Her eyes were still partially open, like she was thinking about something. It was maddening—he couldn't tell if she was still _angry_ or not, either.

She licked her lips—that damn tongue stud was still there. He pulled her against him, ignoring her small sound of surprise, and kissed  
her roughly, a little too desperate to be gentle anymore. She was responding—he closed his eyes in relief, wondering which gods to  
thank and what kind of sacrifice they wanted—

_Squeak. _A lobster hit him in the back of the head and he sat up to meet a pair of eyes in the dark. His expression probably mirrored the  
smaller face right now—sheer disappointment, pure anger, about to yell over the unjust loss. Or cry.

It could go either way.

"Ooho," Laura grinned at him from the bed and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "Better get that crustacean back in there, STAT."

"Sonofa," Julian picked up the lobster (_squeak!_), annoyed, and headed for the crib. The hands reached out for it, and the Shrimp (Nate)  
made a sniffling noise.

"Lubber," he said.

"It _stays_ in there, got it?" Julian handed the lobster back to the tot and patted his head (the Shrimps were comforted by contact).

He turned away.

"Joo!" Nate bounced up and down.

"What?" Julian couldn't help being annoyed now. There was no _reason._ This was just being done to tempt him into anger—and it was succeeding.

"Hug," Nate said.

Julian closed his eyes.


	3. 2: growing pains 1:5 discovery

**A/N: **Yes, Laura has a bit of post partum depression...it's also an instinct thing, that something is going to happen. x-D

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "growing pains" 2 Issue: 1/5 )**

 **Chapter 83 : discovery ****  


* * *

**

The first class. Biology. Both Julian and Laura were worried; the Shrimps had been quiet in the past (except for their love for unsupervised  
trouble making)—but they didn't know how they would handle a large group of people in a room. They'd been against the idea at first (Laura  
had even tried to argue with Emma that they would be vulnerable to germs in class, to which she was patiently reminded that both infants  
possessed a healing factor and were highly unlikely to catch cold).

Everyone—Sarah, Logan, and the other teachers—seemed very set on the fact that Laura should continue her education. She'd finally given in.

It was hard to find a comfortable position to work with the Shrimps; they stayed quietest when in contact with _her_, so she'd finally decided  
on front-carriers.

Dr. McCoy entered the room, carrying a portfolio, and spotted the four, who had arrived early to choose the best seats (close to the door so  
they could escape quickly if needed). He smiled.

"Hello, children," he said, ironically covering the whole family. He moved towards them, and Rachel stared up at him.

"Uh, hi," Julian was trying to figure out how he was going to write around Nate, who was flailing his hands and grabbing at the paper he was  
trying to use.

"My, they've grown," Dr. McCoy said, admiring Rachel. He offered his paw to her, and the girl examined one digit critically. "It seems like just  
yesterday that they were dots on the screen."

"I wish they'dve _stayed_ that way," Julian grumbled. Nate was flipping the page now, sounding delighted. What a pain in the ass.

"They're certainly not dots anymore," Laura said. "This one feels like a sack of flour. Least _she's_ mostly quiet…" she glanced at Nate, who looked  
away, knowing he had been bad.

Dr. McCoy waved at Nate, then moved back to his desk as the door opened and students began to file in. Barnell headed over for their table  
immediately—at least they'd have someone who understood why the Shrimps were there in the first place—and set his books on the table.

"Hello," he squawked.

"Burr," Rachel said, waving. It was their word for 'bird'.

"Barnell," Julian said in acknowledgement, pushing Nate's hand out of his face calmly. It continued to wave in the air.

"How's Angel?" Laura asked.

"Tito!" Rachel squeaked, looking happy. Julian shot Laura an 'I-told-you-so' glance; she rolled her eyes in response.

"She's good. They're all good," Barnell said happily. "Once I graduate this year, I will watch the children while _she_ finishes her education."

"Too bad you had six," Julian said. "Four less and you might have been able to pull _this_ off, huh? OW!" Nate had reached around him and pulled  
(quite hard) on his hair. "Painful! Nate! Let go…" He struggled to remove the tot's grip; it was already unpleasant to force hair against its growth  
pattern—but it was excruciating when gel was involved.

"Nate," Laura said sternly. The hand dropped, and the tot looked guiltily at her.

He began sucking his thumb, knowing a lecture was coming.

"Nate, I know it's fun to bother Julian—believe me, I know—but you can't do it in public because he complains very loudly, and we need to be  
quiet right now. Save it for home, please."

"Laura," Julian hissed. She grinned at him.

"Alright, I believe everyone's here," Dr. McCoy said loudly from the front of the class. "Welcome to Biology 12. There are some new faces,  
so I will introduce myself. I am Dr. Hank McCoy, your professor…"

**…**

The class passed without too much mishap, except for Nate yanking Julian's pencil out of his hand at a rather crucial moment and flinging it  
across the room; it hit another mutant (named Onyxx) with a metal helmet and a rocky body (luckily he hadn't been hurt). Rachel was quiet,  
seeming to listen to Dr. McCoy; for the most part, Laura found it was not all that different from classes before the Shrimps.

After the break, which was mostly spent planning when they should change the Shrimps (it was decided it could wait as Laura didn't detect  
any accidents), they resumed scribbling again. She found the subject interesting—they were studying genetics now, something her life (and  
probably the lives of everyone else in the classroom) seemed to focus on. Just one chromosome had caused the reason for this school.

She noted that Julian picked up his old habit; slipping his shoe off and running his foot up her calf. She wondered if it was possibly subconscious,  
as he seemed to be concentrating on his notes quite diligently (she was sure he'd pester her for help later—this looked fairly complicated).

At the end of class, they gathered up their books and crammed them into their backpacks as fast as they could manage; they had to feed  
both Shrimps, change them, and feed themselves—in half an hour. Then it was time for Chemistry.

"Mum," Rachel said, tugging on Laura's hair. She followed her daughter's finger, pointing at the chalkboard, at the drawings Dr. McCoy was  
erasing. "Whazzat?"

Laura paused. "That's Dr. McCoy, Rae. You already said hi."

"No." Rachel's finger was pointing at the picture, a DNA helix. "Whazzat?"

Laura stopped, somewhat impressed. She hadn't thought either Shrimp would actually be _aware_ of the environment, and have questions about  
it (although they _did_ demonstrate awareness outside).

"It's in your cells, Rae."

"Cells?" Nate, curious.

"Little things inside you. What you're made of." Laura swung her bag onto her shoulder, careful not to jostle Rachel, who was still studying  
the drawing curiously.

"Oh, god. I just realized we're going to have to _explain_ everything to them," Julian said. "Not exactly like any preschool's going to take them  
in." They reached the door and he opened it mentally (something he didn't do too much around the Shrimps; his control was still shaky at times  
and they had agreed to limit the Shrimps' exposure to their powers for the early years). Nate clapped his hands and made a happy noise (he  
loved watching things light up). "More! More!" he said.

"Typical male," Laura said.

"Pfft. He knows a cool thing when he sees it," Julian said.

**…**

At home. Book bags had been slammed down on the table, and the Shrimps had been released from their confines (they'd run around making  
more happy noises while Julian and Laura sat at the table, silent, trading a bottle of painkillers and rubbing their aching necks).

Finally, Julian got up. "I'll make it," he said, meaning dinner.

"Thanks." Laura stared at the tabletop. She was _tired. _And here was Nate, running up to her and putting his hands on her knee.

"Mum! Boobs!" He was quite demanding. "Now!"

Rachel moseyed over as well, her attitude clear from her expression—'if _he's_ getting fed, then so am _I!_'.

"Fine," Laura sighed, hauling Nate onto her knee.

**…**

After homework had been done (interrupted by an enormous fight between Nate and Rachel; quite unusual and ridiculous, with both tots screaming  
at each other and popping their tiny quarter-inch claws—Nate had three on his hands, and Rachel had two, like Laura—over what seemed to be an  
imaginary friend), they aimed at getting the two babies in bed.

Finally—there was steady breathing, indicating sleep, and Laura headed for the shower, exhausted. She ached all over, despite her healing factor,  
and despite the painkillers (which had worn off almost the moment she digested them).

"First Squad practice is on Monday," Julian said, leaning against the doorframe.

"That's nice." Laura said flatly, as she brushed her hair. _Stroke, stroke, stroke._

"I can't wait to use my powers again. Some days I feel like I'm going to blow a hole in the roof. It's been building up ever since…"

"That must be difficult for you." _Stroke, stroke, stroke. _

"Says Ms. Healing Factor," Julian said, a little annoyed at her complete disinterest. "Don't you ever miss popping your claws and having a good fight?"

" I feel like I'm fighting every day, taking care of your two miscreants," Laura said.

_Stroke, stroke stroke. _" Fighting an invisible monster, that I can't win against. And why would I miss doing something that _hurts? _The claws come out  
through my _skin._ It's not all sunshine and lollipops for me, moron!"

"Pfft." Julian rolled his eyes. "You don't _ever_ get sick, and you heal if the Shrimps stab you. Which for some reason they never do. Can you have a talk  
with them about that? Nate really got me the other day in my knee…"

"Sure." _Stroke, stroke, stroke. _

" Laura, put down the fucking brush and talk to me like normal."

She dropped the brush on the counter with a _thud. _"Fine. What do you want me to say? ' Oh my god! Team practice! Good thing I'm about to take a  
shower, because I think I just peed myself in excitement!' Is that better?"

Julian sighed. "Quit being such a dick, okay?"

"That's like asking me to stop breathing." She pulled off her tank top and threw it at the hamper, then reached for her bra. Julian moved to stand  
behind her, his fingers on the hooks; she paused.

"Who's watching the Shrimps?" she asked.

"They're sleeping." _Snap, _one hook.

"I don't think they should be alone."

"They're fine. They're exhausted." _Snap, _another hook.

She turned around as he undid the final hook, and finally gave him a small smile. Maybe this was all she was missing—when it had been just _them_ and  
they didn't have to worry every second about what their tiny offspring were up to. Maybe—

_ZZZZTT—_ She recognized the sound. "What the hell are you doing, Keller?"

Julian turned around, hearing the noise too—energy—just in time to see a small object fly into the mirror with a blue glow that illuminated the room. _TINKLE! _

The mirror shattered, and suddenly there was glass all over the floor.

He swept it off the floor with a thought and ran into the room, Laura on his heels, expecting to see someone enormous, doing something to the Shrimps—but  
the latter were the only beings in the dark room, now standing straight up in their cribs and looking with wide eyes at the bathroom, the source of the noise.

"Keller—" Laura kneeled and picked up the weapon—a stuffed crab.

Julian looked at it, his eyebrows drawing together, then back at the Shrimps.

" What the hell?" he said.


	4. 2: growing pains 2:5 no i in team

**A/N: **Hullo all! Still doing this story, just have alot going on + I switched to a better, newer computer. And spending time with BF 3. Buuuut I still have plenty of plot ideas for this  
so I will update, I will never just abandon it or anything. Will work on the others too in a bit. (I have exams up till Feb 10 so probably after that ^.^) thanks for sticking with me!

**Review answers:**

_Who shot Julian in the head? That motherfucker!! _(ok you didn't say that but I filled in the blank! x-D)

I know, right?! Jeeeez what a douchebag shoots the hot guy in the head! That's where all the good stuff is kept! This will be addressed in a later plot. This story is starting to have  
very deep-rooted plots, so things you see in one volume may show up in another. Wowhuh?

_Other reviews: _Thanks for the kind comments!! It always gives me a warm fuzzy feeling to see people enjoy reading this! I enjoy writing it!! ^.^

**

* * *

  
( ****Volume: 3 Arc: "growing pains" 2 Issue: 2/5 **** )**

 **Chapter 84 : no i in team ******

* * *

"Hmmm," Dr. McCoy said, holding up some clear plastic overheads with prints on them. They'd just run a series of tests on both  
Nate and Rachel, whom were now sitting on the gurney.

" Well?" Julian was waiting with folded arms. " Are one of those things TK's?"

"Oh, certainly," Dr. McCoy said, rubbing his chin. "Both of them, actually, although Rachel's is as of yet dormant. The incident you  
described to me was caused by young Nathan; he is showing increased brain activity. Their brains indeed both have quite finely  
developed motor cortex regions—I believe, when fully grown, they might rival yourself in ability. But that is not what I am looking at here."

Julian was pale, still dealing with the information that Dr. McCoy had just fed him. _Two telekinetic children that loved nothing better  
than causing trouble. _His life was over. Period. He looked at Laura with wide, fearful eyes.

"Curious. The children seem to be amassing amounts of…minerals…in various areas of their body. Particularly major bones, such as their  
femurs and ribs."

" Why would they be doing that?" Laura asked.

" I don't know," Dr. McCoy said. "Oh, well. I wouldn't worry about it—it will be fascinating to study—but it is more than probably a  
requirement of either their healing factor, or their enhanced brains."

He smiled at the children. "Now, more importantly, I have a basket of goodies for my special patients, such as these  
two. Would anyone like a finger puppet?"

**…**

" Oh, my _god,_ Laura! Two of them! TWO OF THEM!" Julian was leaning his face in his hands, on the kitchen table, as the Shrimps played in the  
corner with their Duplos. "What the hell are we going to do?! They'll rip the house down!"

" Well, you can always execute them, if you're that worried about your belongings," Laura said flatly.

Julian sighed and looked at the twins. "Fuck. Laura…that means they can fly and everything. Do you _realize_ how _hard_ it's going to be  
to keep track of them?"

"As hard as it is to keep track of you?" she asked. "Keller…_you_ can fly, and yet you keep hanging around for some reason. I can't get rid of  
you. Maybe it's because you can get food and sex here…I don't know…but I think they really won't wander off all that much as long as we  
keep them happy."

Julian curled his lip at her. "There is no _sex_ here. It's been a month. A _month._ And it doesn't help that it keeps nearly happening—"

" Shhh," Laura said sternly, looking at the Shrimps. Nate was building what looked like a replica of the school.

"Grr." Julian rubbed his face; Laura leaned over and put her hand on his shoulder. "We'll manage…Barnell has managed, and he has _  
six_ children that fly."

Julian was silent for a moment. "Okay," he said, as if it was a decision they still had a choice in.

"Thatta boy," Laura said, leaning in and kissing his ear. It was odd how _she_ was always the one having problems—yet _she _always seemed  
to have her cookies together when the stakes came down, he mused.

**…  
**

Friday. Nate was crying, non-stop. Bawling his head off, tears running down his reddened face (as red as his stuffed lobster)—the Webster's  
dictionary definition of an unhappy customer.

He'd been crying for two days, too, and Laura and Julian had ceased attending class. The only time he'd gotten a break was when he had left  
to teach, leaving Laura alone to cope with Nate's incessant wailing. He felt quite guilty—she'd been sitting at the table, her eyes distant and  
her expression sullen as he'd left the house—but at the same time he couldn't help enjoying the peace and quiet outside his house. He could  
hear birds, he could hear his own thoughts, it was wonderful.

Entering the classroom, he again admired how quiet it was as he took some painkillers (he'd gotten a headache from the sound and  
stress—and lack of power usage), then began to prepare. He'd printed some project outlines (more like craft activities Laura had  
suggested)—which had fortunately been completed before Nate had started the whine-a-thon, as Julian mentally called it.

The door opened.

"Hi, teach." Sylvia—with a wrap-around orbit backpack—and an attitude, purple eyes gleaming.

Julian felt odd being called that—but he let it go. "Hi," he said awkwardly.

Sylvia sat down at her desk and grinned at him. "I don't need to be here, y'know. I'm _better_ than all these people—I could beat them all with  
one hand tied behind my back, in a fight. Why don't you just pass that on to Ms. Frost? I know you're close to her…Tell her I should _be_ on a  
Squad…I'm 15 in just seven months…"

Julian gave her a condescending look. "I'll get right on that. Maybe it'll set off a wave of promotions, and I'll be made an X-man."

The girl looked away, mouthing something; he ignored her and looked through the papers in his bag for the attendance list (he paused to wonder  
why a duplo block with a stern-looking eye on it was firmly lodged in-between the pages of his notebook).

The door opened again, and the classroom slowly filled.

**…  
**

"Oooh—I don't know about this," Gaia said nervously. A pile of materials sat in front of each—art materials—and Julian had asked them to make  
something (he'd ripped the idea off what Jean Grey-Summers had taught him, using art in the early stages of his telekinesis to gain finer  
control—Laura's suggestion had brought it to the front of his mind again). He had reasoned that since _he_ had kind of liked it, years ago,  
then these students probably would, too.

Art—or crafts rather—was soothing. And he was asking them to use their powers to make things that would end up being unique because only  
they could make them. He didn't know much about art—but he figured it was a good way to make two hours of class time pass (he'd begun to  
think that he had the _hardest_ job in the school—there was no outline, just a bunch of people he had to entertain; and he wasn't exactly the  
most creative guy ever).

"It's not hard," Julian said, pointing at her pile of sticky beads. He shifted the structures slightly, creating a stick-figure on the desk. "See? Try  
not to think of the little parts…think of it as a shape."

Gaia tentatively concentrated on the pile, sticking her tongue out.

_BLAM! _

Julian was showered in a snowfall of minute, sticky, burr-like beads.

" I'm sorry!" Gaia exclaimed, covering her mouth. " I'm so sorry!"

He spat some beads out. "Iz' okay. I've—_phew_—been puked on before."

Ripple of derisive laughter from across the room. Sylvia; leaning one arm over the back of her seat; the other's hand twirling in the air lazily. She'd  
drawn metal out of one of the balls; it was forming into a wire, following her fingertips.

"Don't worry, you'll get better," Julian said to Gaia, then looked over at Barnell, who seemed to be very into his painting; he'd brushed feather imprints  
in tempura paint all over the pad of paper he'd been supplied with. Beside him, Angel was constructing something out of play dough that looked vaguely  
like a snowman, until she reached over to Barnell's neck and yanked three feathers off (he made a loud squawk in protest) and stabbed them into the goop.

Basilisk, No-See-Um and Ernst were grouped together, making figures out of clay as well; they seemed to be creating an army of some sort. He  
uneasily noted one particular unit with a helmet and a long flowing cape.

Julian sat down again and looked at the pile of papers the students had stacked on the desk; and found himself actually curious. He'd had a fairly easy  
time as a mutant—he was powerful, and human-looking, and the worst personal power experience he'd had was his first TK—accidentally levitating a  
pencil and chasing himself around the room (this of course did not count the tragedy of his sister). These were the students that the X-men  
acknowledged as having suffered—these were the students with the interesting stories, and now he had them sitting on the desk.

**…  
**

He opened the door and peered into the household, registering the silence. At first he idly wondered if Laura had finally gone nuts and 'dealt' with  
the little noisemaker, but then he saw her on the couch, asleep with Nate in her arms and Rachel against her back.

Julian put his bag down softly and closed the door. Laura's eyes snapped open and she tilted her head slightly. "Help me," she mouthed.

He grinned and approached the couch, then leaned over the back and brushed hair off her face. "That involves moving them," he whispered. Nate's  
foot twitched, like a dog dreaming, and he quickly backed away in alarm—the last thing he wanted was for the boy to wake up.

"I need to pee," Laura mouthed again.

"You're kidding. Right?"

She shook her head. Julian sighed, leaned over again and tried to inch Nate away from her body.

The boy awoke with a start, stared at him with his own blue eyes, took a deep breath—and his face turned red.

"FUCK!" Julian said without thinking.

Nate stopped, distracted. "Fuck?"

"You're putting twenty-five cents in the swear jar every time he says that," Laura said dryly as she got up.

**…  
**

Monday.

"Why are my gloves tight?" Julian asked, stretching his fingers. He and Laura were pulling on articles of clothing laid out on the bed—their  
uniforms, which had been retired for over half a year. "Am I getting sausage fingers?" he asked her.

"My top's too big," Laura said in response, shifting the corset and making a face. "Great—the fat has gone from my boobs to my ass. How  
attractive. Can you make it smaller?"

"Your ass or your top?"

"Very funny." Laura glared at him.

Julian reached out and touched her breast; the material tightened slightly.

"That's good! I still want to be able to _breathe,_" Laura squeaked. He stopped, then examined her critically, raising his eyebrow.

"I'd still do ya," he said.

Laura picked up her elbow-length glove and whipped it across his face. "So _that's_ what these things are for," she commented.

"God. Bitch!" He rubbed his cheek. "You ready?"

"I guess." Laura followed him out, pausing to grab the keys from the kitchen counter. "I feel like such a nerd, wearing this thing again. I  
don't understand why I can't wear _my_ clothes. They feel so much better!"

"You know exactly why. So things like Quire don't happen."

"Maybe." They were walking up the small path to the school, holding hands unconsciously. "You think the Shrimps will be okay? I feel weird,  
leaving them with other people…especially when Nate's being Oscar the Grouch."

"They'll be fine, Laura. There's six other kids for them to play with. They probably won't even realize we're not there," Julian said. They had  
left the Shrimps with Barnell and Angel for the afternoon, to play with their band of tots—whom were about at the same developmental  
stage as Nate and Rachel (even though they were much older).

"Maybe _you._ I'm sure they'll notice that _I'm _gone," Laura sneered.

"Yeah, thanks." Julian glanced at her. "You've got to stop making Nate think it's okay to fuck with me. He did that _thing_ again last night—ran  
right up and rammed his claws into the side of my knee while I was using the laptop. He broke the skin, Laura."

"It's not my fault he's realized you're a push-over, Keller," Laura said lightly. "You have to teach him that you don't have a healing factor.  
You're just all kinds of inferior, you know that?"

"I'm being serious." Julian looked annoyed. "One day I'll have to tell him _not_ to do something 'coz he's going to get hurt, and he won't listen,  
'coz _you_ told him it's okay to ignore me."

"I never said that." Laura smiled sarcastically. "Keller, they're like _puppies,_ remember? You have to establish the fact that you're dominant. Go  
get some dog training books or something."

Julian raised his eyebrow. "I think the solution lies in you showing more respect for _me,_ at least in front of them."

"…" Laura was indignant. "Keller! I'm not going to _pretend_ anything!"

They had reached the school, and a few younger students stopped to stare, either because they were arguing, or because they were wearing  
Squad uniforms. Laura made a hissing sound (like an angry goose) and they hurried away.

"Anti-social much?" Julian asked.

"Not enough, by my standard," Laura said calmly, zipping up her jacket. "Did Frost mention anything about what we have to _do_ today?"

"Just orientate ourselves. I'm sure the nice team harmony we had going has gone to hell. Santo's going to be the worst, definitely—the guy's such  
a klutz when he's not sure what he's doing."

"Great," Laura adjusted her collar as they entered the school through the main doors and headed up the stairs, towards the elevators.

"We'll be fine. Should only take us this one practice to get it back." Julian stiffened suddenly; Laura followed his gaze. Three New Mutants by the  
elevator—David, Josh—and _Sofia._ She raised her eyebrow, not sure if he'd been considering them as competition, friends, or if his reaction was  
focused on the latter person. She had her suspicions, but said nothing.

"Julian!" Sofia saw him first and waved, smiling. "Laura! You have a practice as well, today?"

"No, I'm just dressed like a lifesaver for fun," Laura said, referring to the Hellions' red-and-white costumes.

"Yeah, we do," Julian said, his voice rising over hers. "You know when the first field day is?"

"On the 20th," David said.

"Dani's super-charged on having us beat you this term," Josh said. "She told us your team is fair game, now that she has us from the beginning,  
and _you_ guys aren't on the fritz."

"In your dreams, losers," Julian said.

The elevator doors opened, and a few students exited; then the New Mutants and the two Hellions stepped in.

"How are the twins?" Sofia asked, conversationally.

"Good," Laura said. "Nate's been such a crybaby lately, though."

"He's probably having headaches," Julian said. "We just found out they're TK's, too. Just like me." He looked smug.

"Aww, they gonna be your little team mascots?" Josh sneered slightly.

"No, that's Keller's job," Laura said. "Why do you think we keep him around? He makes us feel better about ourselves."

"I'd put money on the fact that my toddlers could beat your Squad," Julian said, ignoring the insult.

"Yeah right." Josh rolled his eyes.

"Are you going to train them in telekinesis yourself, Julian?" Sofia asked.

"Well, yeah, I guess," Julian paused. He hadn't considered the fact that the twins would have to be trained how to use it—and that the job would  
be his, now that he was the most experienced telekinetic in the school (Gaia was the only other, and didn't have a clue what she was doing).

"That's nice, could be a bonding thing for you," David said. He had been quiet; he was obviously unsure if the truce from last year had continued,  
or if it had been a temporary settlement due to the events of Quire and Magneto.

"It could." Julian folded his arms with a thoughtful expression.

"Keller, _you_ training _them_ how to use TK? You haven't even mastered it yourself! You nearly tore the school down six times last term!" Laura exclaimed.

He rolled his eyes. The elevator doors opened again, and the group walked out, heading down the hallway for the Danger Room.

"Hey, Boss-man!" Santo called as Julian entered the large steel training space.

"And Boss-lady," Cessily pointed out.

Laura and Julian headed over to their line-up, beginning to take in their surroundings. The Danger Room was full of Squad students.

"What the hell is going on?" Julian asked, confused.

"I dunno. Maybe they're watching or something?" Santo suggested.

"I get the feeling we're going to practice _together, _with other students_,_" Kevin said. "Cess and me overheard a weird conversation in the cafeteria—something  
about preparing us, or something."

"UGH!" Julian made a face. "Work with _them? _Are they crazy? We're the cream of the crop already!"

"Did you just say you creamed your pants? That's what I heard," Laura said, wrinkling her nose.

Julian made a face at her.

"It can't be _that_ bad," Cessily said. "I mean—we did pretty great, last year. Why can't we do that again? I _liked_ it, for the most part." Her eyes settled on  
Wallflower—Laurie Collins—whom she disliked slightly.

"I've got toddlers now," Julian said. "I want someone to be an asshole to when the _things_ have kept me up all night."

Santo grinned, but before he could comment the doors to the Danger Room opened, and in swept Emma Frost, followed by Scott Summers (holding  
his clipboard and wearing his uniform).

"Children!" Emma said, smiling as she addressed the room. "How wonderful to be together again. It's been _far_ too long." Her gaze settled on Julian and Laura  
for a brief moment. "This term is going to be much better than last—we're all organized now, with our authorities in their proper positions. We all have more  
experience than before; you have faced unexpected challenges last year—and survived. We were impressed with the performance." Emma looked at Scott.

"New policies have been decided," Scott said. "Next year is going to be _completely_ different for you guys. This is the last year that the current Squads _will_ be Squads."

Silence. Confused looks among the students.

"This year, two Squads are going to partner with each other, to accomplish goals," Scott said. "They will work together in practice, Field Days…and towards the end  
of the term, the top Squad-Team will begin to be deployed on basic missions." Scott raised his eyebrows. "That team will go on to graduate from the squads, next  
year, to become the Xavier Institute's first New X-men team."

"Holy," Julian whispered.

"So work hard!" Emma added. "Next year, a few of you might be X-men."

"Now for the Squad pairings," Scott said, reading off his clipboard. "First team: New Mutants and Hellions. Second team: Corsairs and Alpha Squadron. Third  
team: Paragons and Excelsiors." He paused. "Each unit will receive a scheduled timeslot for the Danger Room. Please see me in my office tomorrow…"

**…  
**

"They've got to be kidding," Julian said when Scott had finished talking. "I'm okay with the X-men stuff—hell, that's a _great_ idea—but—seriously—why do we  
have to work with _them?!_" He looked over towards the New Mutants again, several of whom were looking over at _them. _

"To show that you can work with anyone?" Laura suggested.

"Children," Emma said, approaching the Squad. "You still have practice today. It will be your first one with the New Mutants." She smiled. "Your new unit has  
quite the advantage, having worked together in the past."

"I'm still leader, though, right?" Julian asked.

"There is no _I _in _Team,_ Keller," Laura said, rolling her eyes.

"The Squads are not being broken down," Emma said. "You and X-23 are still the leaders of your Squad, while Wind Dancer and Prodigy are still the leaders of _  
their_ Squad. You will simply be working together to accomplish goals, instead of competing. You will still, of course, compete with other squads."

"Mmm." Julian folded his arms and looked negative.

A few minutes later, the Danger Room emptied (mostly), leaving the Hellions and the New Mutants standing in a straight line.

"Today's exercise will be a simple orientation—being aware of your teammate's powers, and coordinating your attacks. You will have ten minutes to complete  
objectives. The program is number 22- the Brotherhood, on level C." Emma was speaking, and Danielle Moonstar was standing beside her, looking like she  
wanted to be elsewhere.

"Level _C?_" David asked. "Isn't that a little difficult, Ms. Frost?" The Squads normally practiced on level B (Intermediate), while X-men practiced level C (Advanced).

"Nonsense," Emma smiled. "You have two teams now. Together, you are more than capable of handling this simulation."

Julian looked at Laura nervously.

**…  
**

"My back is _killing _me," Julian said, much later, as the Squads left the Danger Room and traveled down the hall towards the locker rooms, limping all the way. The  
simulation had been far harder than expected, and they'd had their asses handed to them on silver platters.

"Don't be such a pussy, Keller. Other people got hurt too."

"Sabretooth picked me over his head and nearly bent me _backwards,_" Julian pointed out. "I think that was serious enough for complaint. I've never seen anything  
like this session—it was total warfare."

He waved to Laura as he followed the other guys into the men's locker room, thinking of painkillers and a hot shower.

About half an hour later, Josh waved to him and left, leaving him alone, still in the shower, leaning his head against the wall and thinking about the practice. He  
didn't see _how_ the teams could ever work together as smoothly as the X-men did for practice—there was just too much animosity between the teams. Sure, when  
the stakes came down, they'd cooperated just fine—but for simulations…

"Oops, wrong room."

He opened his eyes; Laura was standing in the entrance to the showers, with the same challenging expression she'd worn almost a year ago when she'd walked  
in on him in her mother's bathroom. She was still wearing her uniform.

"Yeah, right," he said, wiping his hair back out of his eyes. "Was the shower broken, too?"

"Something like that," Laura agreed, moving towards him. "I thought…you know…since we don't have to pick those _things_ up for another hour…"

"…and you've neglected me for over a month?" Julian suggested.

She nodded and unzipped the back of her top, then threw it to the side. "Not like I've especially enjoyed it, or anything," she said. Julian moved forwards and hooked  
his fingers in her belt, undoing it; then pulled it out of the loops and dropped it beside her top. He craned his neck slightly and kissed her, now working on her pants;  
she bent down and unzipped her boots, kicking everything off.

"The only thing better than sexy underwear is _no_ underwear," Julian commented, running his hands down her body and pulling her closer. Laura breathed in his ear,  
then froze, her eyes wide. "Julian—" she gave a tiny gasp. "_Scott is coming!"_

"…" Julian stared at the entry way…sure enough, he could hear footsteps approaching, and someone whistling. He grabbed Laura's wrist and ran for the only place he  
could think of that would conceal them—the stall toilets in the other partition. They would be in detention for sure if caught—the school had very strict male/female policies  
in the locker rooms, regardless of the association between the people in question.

_Clang!_ The stall door shut behind them, and Julian slid the lock over, his eyes wide. Laura stared at him; she didn't need to inform him of the latest development. He could  
hear it—hear _them_—a group of X-men had returned from a mission. Logan's and Mr. Rasputin's voices were present, in conversation with Scott.

"Ain't never seen nothin' like it," Logan was saying. "Just went _fwoosh_. Like one of them firebombs the kids were throwing off the roof."

Julian pressed his palm over Laura's mouth—she looked like she was going to laugh. "No," he mouthed at her, not making any sound.

"Let me tell ya, being lit on fire makes me need t' piss somethin' awful," Logan said. _Pat pat pat _of feet approaching the stalls; Julian thought fast and lifted himself and Laura  
off the ground by a few inches so their legs would not give them away.

Logan walked right by their stall, followed by heavier thuds. Mr. Rasputin.

"So poetic of you, Logan," Colossus said dryly.

"I try. Still get more women than _you,_ Ruskie," Logan sounded amused.

Julian closed his eyes. He was cold, aching, _wet_, and being interrupted with Laura yet _again_ certainly hadn't helped another matter which was becoming painful.

_Tinkle. _"Ahhh, much better. I—" Logan paused.

_Drip drip drip._ Laura and Julian exchanged glances; even _he_ could hear the drops of water hitting the floor.

"What is it?" Mr. Rasputin.

"Oh—nothin'," Logan said casually. "Head for the showers, Ruskie. You're liken t' rust if you don't get off whatever the hell that was."

"I think it was vomit. I don't rust, Logan."

"Yeah, well." Footsteps, retreating.

Logan's paused by the door. "What the _hell_ do you kids think you're doing?!"

Julian covered his face.

"Horsing around," Laura hissed back honestly. "Don't pretend _you've_ never done it. I heard the stories, Logan…now are you going to help us leave or not?"

Logan scratched his chin. "Your clothes are in the shower, aren't they?" he whispered. "I threw mine on top so'z no one would see…Summers would shit a  
chicken if he caught you, you know."

"I'm aware of this," Julian whispered.

"Aight. Stay put," Logan said, as if they had an option.

A few minutes later he returned, dripping wet, and dumped the pile of clothes over the edge of the stall. "Hurry up," he hissed. "Once the herd moves to the lockers,  
yer stuck in here for another hour."

"Thanks," Julian had caught the wad, and Laura was now jamming her pants back on hurriedly. She'd just reached for her top when—_pat pat pat_—feet approached  
the stalls again. Laura's eyes widened—'Scott' she mouthed.

They both froze in their movements. The feet entered the stall next to them.

Neither dared move, or even breathe, for the next three minutes, until Scott flushed and walked towards the sinks, whistling again, then finally headed back to the  
showers, saying something to Mr. Wagner.

"Hurry up!" Julian finished pulling his shirt over his head as Laura eased the zippers on her boots up, afraid of causing echoes in the spacious bathroom. Julian opened  
the door, peered out, and saw that the coast was clear. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards the lockers on tiptoes, pale with terror. No—fighting Quire—  
fighting _Magneto—_had been nothing compared to this.

"Hey—where ya goin', Drake?" Logan called. Scuffles near the shower corridor.

"My stuff, Logan. If I walk around naked, I'd have to charge you guys." Mr. Drake.

"You smell like somethin' that crawled outta the sewer still."

"What the—_hey! _What was that for?!"

The door was in sight. Julian pushed on her back and they burst through it just as Santo put his hand on the door.

"HUH?!" he asked, stepping aside. Julian slumped against the outside wall, holding his chest. Laura folded her arms, but she was pale as well.

"I thought we were goners," Julian said. "We just almost got walked in on by the X-men."

Santo looked horrified. "Dude! GROSS!" He paused. "Did you see Summers naked, too?"

"No. We got cornered in the stalls."

"Ewww." Santo shook his head and entered the locker room; Julian straightened his top, still trying to calm his racing heart. "Let's go. The farther we are from  
here, the better, in my opinion."


	5. 2: growing pains 3:5 misbehavin

**A/N:**

**Review response:**

_  
^ Sorry, but it IS all relevant to Helix, right?:)_

_*Also,I have two more interviews with Yost I've come across, but their just  
about X-Force in general and the upcoming crossover, do you want them?  
_

Of course! You're my #1 source for all my helix gossip. Other than the sniffing around I do, but my searches aren't very fruitful :(

I'm glad Crain is drawing #13. Choi is great, but I don't like the way he draws man-hair, and for some reason Laura hasn't seemed very pretty in  
the last few issues. Although, I really _did_ like the short hair she sported for a panel in #11. I think Crain drawing Julian will be great...as long as  
he hasn't fallen prey to technarch stuff...and as long as he isn't a corpse :(

I know!! MARCH omg!! I can barely wait...

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "growing pains" 2 Issue: 3/5 )**

 **Chapter 85 : misbehavin ******

* * *

"OW!" Julian roared, slamming his palms down on the counter.

Laura peered over the edge. "Nate," she said sternly. The toddler had his fist against the side of Julian's knee, very conspicuously. He avoided  
Laura's gaze and retracted his claws; Julian leaned over and examined the small holes in his cargo pants. "Laura…this has _really_ got to stop,"  
he said, grimacing.

"Come here, little man," Laura said to Nate, patting her knee.

"NO!" Nate ran to the couch, his small hands waving in the air (still covered with droplets of mucus and blood, from his claws).

Laura rolled her eyes. "You guys, I swear." She got up (abandoning her homework) and headed after the miscreant; she bent down,  
disappearing from sight, and a moment later reappeared, brandishing Nate, who looked sulky.

Rachel clapped her hands, smiling. Not only did the Shrimps love trouble—they loved watching _each other_ get in trouble. She hurried over to  
Julian and threw her arms around his injured leg, as if to show how much better behaved she was than Nate. "Joo," she said solemnly.

Laura plunked Nate down on the couch and kneeled down. "Bad, Nate. You can't stab people, it's wrong. Understand?" Her hands were  
on his shoulders.

Nate sucked his thumb, looking away.

"Nate! Look at me when I'm talking to you!" Laura said, a little louder. The tot's chin trembled and he met her eyes. "Understand, Nate?  
You _stop_ that."

"But mum…" Nate looked like he was having a toy taken away.

"No. Don't stab _anyone._"

Nate looked down and nodded slightly, his response to scolding. Laura picked him up and brought him over to Julian, whose arms  
were folded. "Apologize," she instructed the Shrimp.

"But mum—"

"Do it." Laura's voice was firm; Julian was hard pressed not to follow her instructions himself.

"Well, I'm waiting, Nate," he said.

Nate sucked his thumb.

"Nate…" Laura.

"Sowwy!" Nate burst, looking angry. "Joo."

"Joo," Rachel echoed from the floor.

"That sounded sarcastic," Julian said idly, accepting Nate as Laura passed him over. "Why'd they have to get _your _attitude, Laura? I mean…"

"You're no prize yourself," Laura said snidely. "You think you boys can behave long enough for me to finish my homework?"

"Maybe." Julian leaned forwards and kissed her; a second later Nate's hand clamped down on his nose, ripping him away. The Shrimps made  
noises of delight as Julian cursed. "Little pain in my ass!" he said.

"Ass!" Rachel ran away, waving her hands in the air.

"Twenty-five cents, Keller. You know where the jar is." Laura headed back for the table.

**…  
**

Tuesday in Biology. It was Julian's turn to carry Rachel (who was the most well-behaved individual of the Shrimps), while Laura had Nate. Of _  
course_ he was an angel, keeping his hands tucked into his carrier, and even dosing off at one point (the most important part of the class,  
coincidentally).

During break, Nate began clamoring for food ("_Boobs! Mum, Boobs!_"); Laura had to leave the room (they had tried bottles for the Shrimps,  
but the method had been refused, possibly due to enhanced senses). Julian was left to sit with Rachel, leaning on his elbows and  
wondering how his life had come to this point. It was almost nothing but BABY, as he thought of it, in capital letters. He couldn't even  
think about his Squad, or his homework, for two minutes without having a Shrimp-related interruption. They were so _needy._

Not to mention the fact that Laura had gotten him addicted to sex—he'd become used to having it daily, even twice a day…and then,  
nothing. He thought he might be experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

"Joo!" Rachel tugged on his hair, which was near her hand. "Potty!"

"Ouch! Okay…hang on." He reached into his bag and found a diaper (wedged between his textbooks), then got up and headed for the  
washroom. The school had been unable to construct a special room for their needs, but they had installed changing units in the disability stalls.

When he returned, Laura was back at the table, looking disgruntled. "Keller…I'm so mad that you taught him that word. It's really  
embarrassing for me."

Julian grinned and leaned back in his chair, running his socked foot up her calf. "Boy knows what he wants," he said. Laura made a face  
at him and was about to reply; Dr. McCoy cleared his throat at the front of the room, signaling class was beginning again.

**…  
**

Friday found the pair rushing to Barnell's and Angel's to drop off the Shrimps; they were already ten minutes late for Squad practice.

"Here," Julian gasped (running with a child that was twice the weight of a turkey wasn't easy) as he stuffed a twenty into Angel's hand. He and  
Laura had agreed that paying her to watch the Shrimps was the way to go, as they certainly weren't up to watching the six Salvadore-Bohusk  
children; and he was earning while Angel and Barnell were not.

"We'll be back at six," Laura said. "They're fed." Julian was already running towards the school; she waved and hurried after him. "Wait for me, asshole!"

"Stupid X-men," Angel mumbled, her hands on her hips. "Everyone leaves _me_ with the babies." She sighed and went into the house to put the  
twenty away; it wasn't so bad, as Tito was well-behaved and kept the Keller Shrimps too occupied for other mischief.

**…  
**

Julian set them down at the mansion doors (having picked up Laura when he remembered he could fly) and hurried in, still panting. He hit the  
elevator button repeatedly until she grabbed his wrist.

"You'll break it," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Pfft."

The doors opened, and they rushed in, almost bumping into the people exiting.

"Frost is not going to be impressed," he said, rolling back his glove and glancing at his watch. "She hates late students. I hope she doesn't punish us."

"Keller, we were late because _Nate_ wanted food. How can she penalize us for _that_? It's not like we can control what a baby wants."

"You'd be surprised."

The doors opened again, and they ran down the hallway; Julian skidded to a halt in front of the Danger Room (almost running right by it) and entered  
his training code (which would unlock the door during a certain timeslot, after a councilor had entered _their_ code).

_Whoosh._ The doors opened, and Julian was immediately aware of Frost glaring at him with folded arms.

"Mister Keller," she said. Her eyes fell past him to Laura. "And _Missus. _How nice of you to join us. You are only _twenty minutes late._"

Julian grimaced. "Um…we're sorry?"

"Nate needed to be fed, and he didn't tell me till we were leaving," Laura said.

"There is _no_ excuse for tardiness," Emma said coldly. "You have made two entire squads wait, as well as two councilors, and the headmistress of the  
school. Do you see yourselves important enough for such latency?"

"…" Laura opened her mouth; Julian grabbed her wrist and jerked her into the Hellions line with him. "Be quiet," he hissed.

"Now," Emma put her hands on her hips. "I suppose we are ready to start. We will be running the same scenario as on Monday. I expect to see _great_  
improvement in your coordination and communication. Last session was _terrible._ You will under no circumstance repeat it, is that clear?"

"Yes ma'am," Julian said. He was worried that Laura would speak up—he couldn't handle detention right now. He had courses—his own class—two  
tots—and a Squad to worry about—one more activity and everything would collapse.

Thankfully Laura held her tongue, instead glaring at Ms. Frost.

"Perfectly," Sofia said, holding her elbows and looking serene. For the first time, Julian felt annoyed with her—what did _she_ have to worry about?

A few courses and a Squad of friends! He looked away before he could add anything else to his observations of her.

**…  
**

"KELLER!" Laura shouted, bringing her elbow down hard on the Blob's back at the exact point she knew a nerve ending to be located. The enormous mutant  
had somehow managed to grab her husband (in almost the same way Sabretooth had done the last time) and was beginning to bend him backwards.

"Eh?" Blob reached over his shoulder and grabbed Laura's arm; she swung in an arc over his head with a surprised yelp. "I better bathe. Looks like I got me a lice!"

"Singular, dumbass," Laura hissed, hanging from her wrist in front of his face. "Lice is plural. You're looking for the word _louse._"

"Listen t' little miss smarty-pants," the Blob said scornfully.

"LAURA! Not the TIME for a GRAMMAR LESSON!" Julian was trying to force Blob's hand open (the one holding him fast) with telekinesis, and failing, mostly  
because he was afraid to use an extreme amount of volatile energy near his ribcage.

"It's _always_ time for good grammar," Laura said, swinging her boot into the Blob's face and popping her foot claw.

"GRRRRAWWWR!" The mound of flesh released them both and stumbled backwards, a fountain of blood cascading from his nose.

"I hate to admit that you were right," Julian coughed as he got to his knees.

"So don't," Laura was already on her feet, watching Blob stumble backwards. "We have to stop him. He's headed for Wallflower and David."

Julian's eyes glowed. "Why stop him when I can just get them out of the way?" he asked, picking them up mentally. Laurie screamed; David looked alarmed, but  
they seemed to understand when they glanced down and saw the huge man collapse where they had just been located.

"OhmigodhelpmeI'mrunningoutofenergygonnacollapsesoonPLEASE!!!!" Nori gasped, whizzing by them; a second later another blur passed—Quicksilver, Magneto's  
son. With Super Speed.

"Keller! You help her! Fly!" Laura ran in the opposite direction, towards Santo and Sooraya (in sand form), who standing in front a man in a black suit with a weird  
helmet. He was just holding his hands in the air and they were shaking in response, crumbles of materials falling off their figures.

"What the hell is going on here?" Laura asked as she reached them.

"D-d-dude! H-help!" Santo chattered.

_Rrrumble. _The man had turned, and his palm faced Laura; a wave of vibrations passed through her.

"Wow," she said. "Haven't felt that since I saw Manson live three years ago!"

The cement at her feet ruptured suddenly.

"EEE!" Laura almost fell in, but something stopped her—there was Sofia, flying towards her with a smile. "Do not be afraid, Laura. My wind has you. Shall we  
show this man what we are made of?"

"_You_ can show 'this man' what you're made of," Laura said. "I'm going to deal with him in the meantime." Laura swung her booted foot into the side of  
the man's head and he keeled over.

"A-a-asta l-la vista!" Santo said as the vibrations ceased.

"Good work," Sofia said, smiling. Laura looked up and saw that Julian was high up in the air, fighting a woman dressed in red (throwing pink bolts of energy at him).

"I will go assist Hellion," Sofia said, following her gaze; she floated towards the action, leaving Laura on the ground, scowling slightly.

"SABRETOOTH!" Laura snapped at the two Hellions who were watching her. "Go take him down. I don't want anything _else_ on the field that Keller can fall prey to."

"Yes ma'am," Santo grinned.

**…  
**

"I think that was better," Julian said, later, as they headed back towards the house, dressed in their usual clothes once more.

"Mmm." Laura continued to watch the ground, occasionally shifting the strap on her backpack that now contained her training gear.

"You okay?" Julian raised his eyebrow.

"Sure I am. Why?"

"You're quiet."

Laura wrinkled her nose. "Not enough conversation? Okay…small talk…hmm. What a nice day! Just fantastic weather. Very pretty. You might even  
say…_beautiful_…wouldn't you?"

Julian stopped in his tracks. "Laura…are you fucking serious? It was a _joke._" At one point in the practice—when Sofia had flown up to help him with  
the Scarlet Witch—he had used his old pet-name for her—out of habit. He'd been about fifty feet in the air, and now that he thought about it, he  
didn't understand how Laura could hear that with all the wind that had been going on.

"Mmm." Laura examined a small flower with purple petals in the grass. "Look at this beautiful flower! Don't you want to _take _it?" She glanced up  
at him, obviously meaning something else.

"I thought we were past this." Julian folded his arms.

"We're never going to be 'past this'," Laura said, her hand on her hip. "Well, I guess when Sofia's old and wrinkly and I still look hot as fuck, you  
might get over her. _EWWW!_ That means _you're_ going to get ugly too!"

"Huh?" Julian raised his eyebrow. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Nothing. Just that I don't age. But that's beside the point." Laura sighed. "Keller…it makes me a little insecure to hear how much your pulse  
increases when you see Sofia walk by…compared to what it does for _me._ Maybe it's unfair to you, but unlike other girls, I have statistical,  
numerical data to compare—and I can say that you're definitely attracted to her. Maybe it's just the thrill of the unknown, I don't know, but—"

"No. Just shut up." Julian grabbed her hand by the wrist and put it on his chest, over his heart. "I'm crazy about you. I hoped you knew that  
by now but, hey, I don't mind saying it. Just, you know, ask me when you need to hear it."

Laura looked down. "That's not the point—"

"The point is that I _love _you, and it's different than anything I felt for Sofia. Not to be morbid—but if she dies, I'll go and say something nice  
at her funeral, ask what I inherited—but if it was _you_—"

Laura still looked hesitant.

"I probably wouldn't be so on the edge if you took care of something with me," he said seriously. Laura rolled her eyes and yanked her hand off his chest.

"God, Keller. It's _always_ about sex."

"It is." Julian grinned. "So am I getting some, or not?"

"I'm having a serious conversation, about you having the hots for your ex. In a field, in full view of the school. Of course you're not getting laid."

"We're near the woods." Julian nodded to the edge. "It's just…there. There's a pretty big tree in there, as far as trees go, you  
know. Nice circumference. Kinda like—"

"Oh shut up." Laura found herself eyeing the woods as well. "We have to get back. We're almost ten minutes late, Keller. And I'm still mad at you."

"Pfft. Like it's going to take _long._ And since when do we argue about whether or not we're going to do it? I miss the fucking spontaneity!"

Laura finally grinned, too, and allowed him to lead her into the woods and around the tree. Her back pack slipped to the ground, and  
was quite soon joined with other items. About a minute later, Julian slammed his fists into the bark and made a loud noise.

**…  
**

"I did not see _that_ coming," Julian panted from the ground, holding his face. After about ten more minutes (in which both he and Laura made  
various noises); an enraged bird left its nest and attacked him, believing he was after its eggs.

Laura had finally stopped laughing. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He batted the ground beside him; after a moment she joined him, still grinning. "We really need to go get those Shrimps."

"I'll pay her off. Need this right now." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his side. "God. How are we going to manage this?  
Living with Shrimps? I can't handle not being able to…you know."

"They'll grow up," Laura said. "Keller…they're growing at twice their rate. In about a year and a half they won't wake us up all the time."

"Oh my god, a _year and a half,"_ Julian sounded horrified. "No, we _need_ to solve this. Think Angel would take them more often?"

"I doubt it. She has enough kids. And we can't afford that much."

"I was only thinking twice a day. Oh, maybe three."

"KELLER!" Laura smacked his shoulder. "You'd have to be a billionaire for _that._"

"I _was!_ Yet another way the Shrimps screwed me over!" Julian sounded outraged.

"We need to go now." Laura sat up and reached for her top.

"Wait." Julian pulled her down and kissed her slowly, ignoring her sound of protest—he wasn't done. _A month and a half.  
_

**…  
**

"Seven is not six," Angel said sourly after opening the door. "You guys got a good reason for being late?"

"Oho," Julian said, quite happily. Laura rolled her eyes. "The squad practice ran late. And we sucked. So Frost chewed our asses out, making us even later."

Angel raised her eyebrow. "Uh huh." Laura followed her eyes; Julian had moss in his hair, and his shirt was inside out and drunk-buttoned.

"That's the story I'm going with, anyways," Laura said. "Keller?"

Julian found his wallet, extracted another twenty, and handed it over.

"Buy yourself something nice. You know. Sparkly."

"It was just ten minutes ago, wasn't it?" Angel asked Laura, accepting the money.

"Yes." Laura glared at Julian, who didn't seem quite with the program yet.

"I'll get your Shrimps," Angel said. "TITO! TITO, get your butt over here! Shrimps have to go home now!"

The mess of children parted, and the Shrimps ran towards their parents. "JOO!" Nate shouted, slamming himself into Julian's knee and wrapping his arms  
around it. Laura caught his elbow instinctively as he almost keeled over from the toddler's impact; he grinned sheepishly.


	6. 2: growing pains 4:5 dangerous

**A/N: **Another chapter! Also, you'll notice I finally divided this arc properly. 'Growing pains' is now a five-issue arc.

**

* * *

( Volume: 3 Arc: "growing pains" 2 Issue: 4/5 )**

 **Chapter 86: dangerous ****  


* * *

**

Saturday morning. Julian woke up first and laid in bed, just trying to fix in his mind what the house was like when it was _silent,_ with Laura  
pressed against his side, and the Shrimps safely in their cribs, breathing softly. For a moment he was happy, content. At ease.

Then he frowned. He only heard _one_ Shrimp.

**…  
**

"NATE!" Julian ran out of the house in his boxers and a t-shirt, Laura scrambling behind him in similar disarray, her face pale.

They'd searched every square inch of the house, and could not find the missing Shrimp; Rachel had followed them, watching  
with wide eyes, and was now holding Laura's hand tightly.

"Nett," Rachel said suddenly.

"Take Rae," Laura said, scowling. "I'll scent that pup if it's the last thing I do." For some odd reason, she—the bloodhound—hadn't  
been able track her own son. It was as if he'd disappeared off the face of the earth, not even leaving an open door behind him.

"Laura—we're wasting time. We need to call Emma, _now._" Julian's eyes glowed. "He could be anywhere. The woods—maybe  
he's been abducted—the facility—"

"SHUT UP!" Laura snarled, her claws sliding up. "Don't _ever_ say that word to me again!"

"Calm down." Julian rubbed his neck. "I'm being realistic. We—"

"Nett," Rachel said again, tugging on the edge of Julian's boxers.

"I know, Rae. We'll find him. We need Cerebro though—let's get the Cuckoos."

"_NETT!"_ Rachel bellowed, startling both already-frightened parents. She pointed towards the roof of the school, her babyish  
features set in an intense scowl.

"Nett! _Dere!"_

Laura paused. "Keller—"

"I'll check." Julian left the ground and shot towards the school's roof, doubting he'd see anything—how would a _toddler_ climb a _  
school?_ His search confirmed his suspicions—no Nate. He circled the roof again just to be sure, studying the tiles intently—he  
almost didn't look at the ground below, but if there was a chance Nate was there and injured—he made himself look.

"Joo!"

His head snapped around—had he been hearing things? No—_there—_hanging onto the chimney, looking dirty and pale as a sheet  
of paper, Nate. He rushed towards him and landed on the roof.

"What the _hell_ are you doing up here?!" he shouted, at eye level with the tot. He was angry now that the fear was passing.

"BAD, Nate, BAD!"

Nate looked down with glassy eyes, and Julian realized that the dirt-stains on his face were caked tears and snot. He sighed—he  
could put two and two together. A sleepwalking toddler with telekinesis—_just what he needed. _

"It's okay," he said, a little less forcefully. "Come on. Your mom is ready to give herself a nose-bleed over you, little pain in my ass."

He scooped Nate off the roof and swept back down to meet Laura, who was yelling things at him that he couldn't hear. A few people  
were emerging from the school at the commotion—Frost, in her robe; Summers, in his boxers; Logan in what he'd been wearing yesterday.

"Oh my," Frost said as Julian landed. "Is he injured?"

"No. I don't think so." He stepped back as Laura seized Nate from his grasp, her protective, feral instincts kicking in.

"**NATE**! WHAT THE **HELL**?!" She snarled, her voice breaking. "I WAS **SO** WORRIED! DON'T EVER **_EVER_** DO THAT AGAIN, YOU UNDERSTAND?!"

Logan glanced at the roof. "Anyone else notice that's the same spot _they_ used to pull this stunt at?" he asked.

"Mmm," Frost said.

Nate still looked spaced out, cringing at the anger. Julian touched her shoulder. "Hey—beautiful—calm down. He didn't mean it."

"No, I WON'T calm down," Laura snapped, but he could tell that her words were already losing force. "What the fuck is **_wrong_**  
with this child?! **KELLER!** You teach him how to control his powers or I swear to god…"

"Mum," Rachel touched her knee, concerned.

"Laura, calm down. The children don't understand why you're angry," Summers said, his voice as collected as usual—simply stating  
facts. "Keller's right, this looks like it was an accident. It's good to tell him it's wrong, but being angry won't help, especially right now."

"Easy for you to say!" Laura hissed. "I don't see _you_ running your ass off to keep two mutant _babies_ under control!"

"Laura." Logan cleared his throat. "I'm still way too drunk t' deal with this right now…but even _I_ think you oughta calm down 'n jus'  
be happy the…kid…thing is alright. Y'know?"

Everyone was distracted by stared at Logan for a moment. He swayed slightly in the breeze.

"Fine." Laura picked up Nate and stomped towards the house again, her shoulders still very tight and square.

Julian sighed and followed, carrying Rachel, who seemed to be unhappy about the situation as well.

**…  
**

After breakfast and a shower (Laura refusing to go unless Julian physically held Nate the whole time), the four headed up to the school, intent on seeing

Dr. McCoy again to ask his advice. Nate was still too young to understand training, but _something_ had to be done to keep the Shrimp safe.

Nate remained unusually quiet, not even sucking his thumb as per his habit; he didn't even try to name objects, or grab things from his parents' hands.

"I think he's in shock," Julian said quietly when they were sitting on the bench outside Dr. McCoy's office (the same bench they had sat on before when  
debating on whether or not to have the Shrimps).

Laura was silent, looking at the floor; Rachel stood, her hands on the bench, and watched Nate with a miserable look. It was obvious that she knew what  
was going on to some extent. Julian wondered how much.

"How did you know where Nate was, Rae?" he asked, looking at the girl.

Rachel watched him with her wide green eyes but said nothing.

**…  
**

"Ah! My favorite patients!" Dr. McCoy finally looked out of his office, smiling and showing all his very white fangs. "Bring them in! With the day  
I'm having, a little Shrimp-time would be most welcome."

"We have a trouble-maker," Julian said grimly as they entered the office.

Dr. McCoy had sat down again, and gestured them to the chairs in front of his desk. "Nate's been tapping into his special gift-box a bit too  
early, and he got himself up on the school roof this morning."

"Oh my!" Dr. McCoy leaned back in his chair. "Rattling the Christmas presents, are we? And here I thought Nathan was such a _good_ boy."

He gave the tot a stern look over his glasses, but his tone was quite mild. Nate sucked his thumb.

"I assume he is alright?"

"He's traumatized." Julian said. Laura was still entirely silent, like her son. "Brought him here to make sure he's really okay. By the way…is  
there something we can do to, uh, trust-fund his powers till he's got a hold on them?"

"I see," Dr. McCoy said thoughtfully. "You'd want to ask our esteemed Ms. Frost about that. Perhaps a mental barrier would be the answer."

He reached beside him and pulled out a drawer. "Now…let's see…we'll take young Nathan into the examination room…but I assume he wants this slinky first."

Nate's eyes widened as Dr. McCoy let a rainbow colored slinky slip through his paws to the desk. The tot leaned forwards and reached for it  
eagerly with a happy noise, the first reaction he'd shown all morning.

**…  
**

Emma regarded her two—students—and their children—with an appraising expression. She wasn't quite sure of what to think  
of them anymore; she was aware that, out of all her students, the pair had shown the most drastic improvement and  
maturation. Subconsciously—to her—they would always be children, of course. Her children. Like everyone at this school.

There was a reason she wanted them to remain children. If she admitted they were growing up, then she would have to  
consider them eligible to join the team. Hellion was one of her favorite students at the school, the one whom had shown  
the most promise—for what, she wasn't sure—in the darker corners of her mind she admitted she saw the qualities in him  
to be a Hellfire club member (if not one of the Kings)—but she liked to believe she saw mostly good in him—perhaps an X-man.

She tried to help him pave his way as she wished someone had helped _her_ not so very long ago.

There was another reason, however, as to why she could not decide what she thought of them.

When Laura Kinney had come to the school, Emma had seen immense potential in the girl—but they had clashed, rather violently.  
Laura had the individual survival attitude required to be great—but she lacked the motivation and the abilities to become  
powerful and notable. She was too like Logan—unfocused.

At first, Emma had been very against the idea of the two students together—in—that—way. She'd known almost right away what  
they were up to, when even _they_ didn't quite know; Julian had projected thoughts left, right and center in her telepathy class  
(the worst had been when he'd nodded off in a graphic daydream and tumbled off his seat). Emma had not liked Sofia all that  
much, either. No, that wasn't the pairing she had in mind—she'd rather hoped that something might develop between Hellion  
and one of the Cuckoos, Sophie perhaps. She had dropped hints to the girls that she 'approved' of Mr. Keller; she'd sensed a  
reception in Sophie to the idea. But it had been too late; by that time Laura already had her claws (pardon the pun) into her  
favorite student—what could be more convenient than unplanned pregnancy? Emma did not doubt her story—she'd _seen_ the  
children abducted—but she had always wondered if Laura hadn't lied about how the two 'Shrimps' (as they had become known  
around the school) had begun life.

And here they were—two small faces in addition to her students—probable future students—one sucking his thumb and  
watching her with wide blue eyes.

"I assume you are here to discuss the incident this morning," Emma said, her hands resting lightly on the desk, the perfect nails  
concealing a mark in the desk made two weeks ago when (in a fit of rage) she'd stabbed her golden letter opener into the surface.

Julian nodded. "Dr. McCoy said—"

Nate suddenly waved his hands at Emma. "Boobs!" he said, excited.

"Oh my god." Laura wrapped her fingers around his wrist and tried to conceal the pointing (as Emma stared). In the commotion, neither  
Shrimp had received their breakfast. "Nate, I'll feed you after. Stop it."

"Boobs, mum!" Nate kicked his feet; he was hungry.

"You don't want hers, they're full of silicon," Laura said. Emma leaned back in her chair. "If I understand the situation, you are here to  
ask for _my_ help," she reminded Laura sarcastically.

"MUM!" Nate was getting louder. Laura sighed, gave Julian a look. "I'll be right back." She hefted the tot in her arms and carried him  
out of the room, the fingers of his hands waving behind her.

Emma raised her eyebrows at Julian.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Frost," he said, embarrassed. Rachel sat quietly in his lap, thankfully having more sense than Nate.

"Hardly. He's a child. I am rather curious, though, as to what that girl has been teaching him. Such…coarse language for an infant."

Julian cleared his throat. "Ah-heh…it was kind of me. Long story."

"I see," Emma said, her eyebrows arching more. "Tell me—now that we're alone—do you think that Laura is doing an excellent  
job on parenting?"

Julian stared at her for a moment. "Uh—"

Emma smiled. Point.

"As good as I am?" he asked. "It's not like it's easy or anything."

"Mmm." Emma gave him a disapproving look. "Perhaps she was not the most strategic choice of a partner, Mr. Keller."

Julian looked startled. "Wha—"

Emma's eyes shifted to the door; about half a minute later it opened, and Laura re-entered the room, carrying a happy Nate. She rolled  
her eyes and dumped the boy on Julian's lap, then sat down in the chair again. "So, anything good come up while I was gone?" she asked.

"Hardly." Emma folded her hands on the desk.

"We spoke with Dr. McCoy this morning," Julian picked up his earlier track. "He suggested we ask you about mental blocks for the Shrimps."

"You wish to suppress their abilities?" Emma had been expecting this.

"Until they're old enough, yeah," Julian said. "This morning was pretty scary."

The Headmistress considered the request. "What the children have now is invaluable—self defense. If their abilities are blocked, they will not  
learn to use them; it will only be worse as they mature." She arched her eyebrows. "I could, however, _dampen_ their powers…"

Julian glanced at Laura uneasily, then back at Emma. "I dunno—I'm really worried about Nate. He has no clue what he's doing…I mean, the  
kid sticks _forks_ into _outlets_ for _kicks._ Can you imagine how bad it'd be when he realizes he can move things with his mind?"

"You would need to train him, Mr. Keller," Emma said sternly. "You are the last experienced telekinetic in the school."

"They're better off without their powers, if _he's_ training them," Laura said flatly.

Julian glared at her.

"I could attempt to limit the amount of energy he can channel at any one time through motor cortex…if it was reduced to, say, enough energy to  
lift a paperclip, or a marble, you might find it beneficial."

"Do it," Laura said. "I don't want a repeat of this morning, either way."

Beside her, Julian nodded in silent agreement.

"Alright. Put young Nathan on the table, please. I will do a simple maneuver."

Julian hefted the boy up and sat him on the table. Nate sucked his thumb and watched Emma with wide eyes.

The telepath leaned forwards, placed her hand on Nate's temple, and closed her eyes for about half a minute, concentrating. Her eyebrows drew  
together and she frowned, opening her eyes. "Odd, I'm encountering resistance. Like a mirror, almost. I'll try a little harder…I don't want to hurt  
him." She brushed her hair back behind her ear, then her eyelids slid shut again.

Nate stopped sucking his thumb; Rachel sat upright—like a dog on the alert.

"AHH!" Emma's head snapped back, even though nothing had hit her, and she stumbled backwards, into her bookcase. At the same time, Julian  
jerked his hands away from Nate and exhaled very hard, as though he was in pain.

"Is there something I'm missing?" Laura asked, watching Emma wilt against the supporting shelf, holding her temples.

"A stab wound in the brain, yes," Julian mumbled, holding his forehead. "What the hell _was_ that? Some sort of TK thing I'm not in on yet? Or—"

"Telepathy," Emma said finally. "They are a hive mind. Like my girls."

"But—" Julian looked at the twins in confusion. "I'm not a telepath. Oh, god…you mean…_mom_ is, isn't she?" He looked startled by the realization.

"How can they be a _hive mind_?" Laura asked skeptically. "The Cuckoos are _identical._ These two—well, they're different genders, for starters. And the eyes…"

Nate was back to sucking his thumb, and Rachel examined her fingers on the edge of the desk.

"The only thing I have experienced like it is the Cuckoos," Emma said firmly. "The defense was perfectly coordinated. It was not a separate, individual  
response." Emma straightened and rubbed her temple. "I think it's time we took a closer look at these children of yours…we need to know exactly  
what they are capable of."

**…  
**

"Fascinating," Dr. McCoy said, studying the scan results. "I didn't even think to check for telepathy. Yet—here we go." He pointed at two of the pictures  
on the light bar. "This is prior stimulus, MEG scan. Nathan is on the left, and Rachel is on the right." He pointed to the next set of pictures. "This is a minute  
later, during telepathic stimulus by Emma. Note the _exact_ electrical brainwave pattern is replicated in both twins, at the same instant."

"A hive mind," Emma said, her eyes trained on the scans. "This is an interesting development. Have the children ever shown signs of telepathy before?"

"No," Laura said.

Julian held up his hand. "Hang on. That's not completely true. What about Rae, the other day? She knew where Nate was."

"This could prove troublesome," Emma said. "Two untrained children, with hive mind telepathy. It would be very irresponsible of us, to say the least, if  
this were left unattended."

"What are you saying?" Laura asked defensively.

"Only that they will require adequate _training, _perhaps a squad when they are older." Emma said, arching her eyebrow. The air between them was tense.

"You shouldn't jump to conclusions, darling, it's hasty and irrational. This is the Xavier institute—_we_ don't kill." Her tone indicated the last sentence obviously  
carried a double meaning.

"No, you just let apocalyptic monsters teach your special ed class," Laura snapped, her claws sliding out between her fingers unconsciously. "Is this what I  
want my children exposed to? How do I know you won't expose _them_ to something dangerous?" She gestured with her hand as she spoke, the tips of her  
claws waving inches from Emma's now diamond face.

"Laura." Julian put his hand on her shoulder. "Back off."

She curled her lip at him but retracted her claws.

"We'll train them…of course we will…but under _no_ circumstances are my kids going to join any kind of pre-schooler Squad you're planning." Julian met Emma's  
gaze squarely. "You might be my boss and my headmistress, but you're not their parent."

Emma studied them. "Dark times are coming for the Xavier institute," she said, her voice horribly calm. "They need to be prepared."

"Probably 'coz _you're_ bringing them," Laura mumbled.

"What was that?" Emma asked, her voice rising.

"Ahem." Dr. McCoy fake-coughed. "That's lovely, Emma…but we still have two young children in the room…and two even younger individuals on the gurney…and  
I did _so _wish to elaborate on their genetic make-up."

Julian folded his arms, annoyed by Dr. McCoy's comment.

"Young Nathan and Rachel are indeed monozygotic—or genetic, identical twins," Dr. McCoy said. "They share every chromosome except for Nathan having a Y, of  
course. Now—" he held up his paw as Laura opened her mouth to protest. "I realize that they _are_ male and female. It is technically incorrect to refer to them as  
such, because their karyotypes are different. But this phenomena has happened—precisely three times in medical history. Rare but entirely possible.  
And—" Dr. McCoy was speaking quickly, excited.

"Their eyes are different, though," Laura pointed out.

"True," Dr. McCoy said. "I believe this has to do with the fact that you are both clones—or at least related to a clone. In both the case of Madelyne Pryor  
and yourself, Laura, you have different eye colors than the originals. I believe that—I will have to experiment further on this—but I believe that your eye  
color may somehow be linked to your mutated gene. I—"

"I think you should have a cup of tea, Hank," Emma said mildly. "Decaffeinated, preferably. I have learned more about DNA in the last five minutes than  
I have tried to forget since high school."

Dr. McCoy sighed. "No appreciation for life's miracles," he said sadly.

"We better get our 'miracles' home before they make little miracles in their diapers," Julian said, picking up Rachel. "_You_ can carry _that_ one," he added  
(pointing at Nate), to Laura, who rolled her eyes.

"You may wish to begin dosing them with multivitamins soon," Dr. McCoy said, as they headed for the door. "I noticed, perhaps, a slight anemia in the  
blood samples. This would be easily remedied, and without risk due to their healing factors."

"What the—how are they deficient on _anything?_" Laura asked. "They're still on milk. That's 100 percent pure mom-goodness, fresh squeezed."

Julian glanced at her, distracted.

"I don't have an answer for that," Dr. McCoy admitted.

"Thank _GOD!" _Emma burst. "I thought I would be here for another twenty minutes. You're very long-winded, Hank, my dear."


	7. 2: growing pains 5:5 moodswings

**

* * *

  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "growing pains" 2 Issue: 5/5 )**

 **Chapter 87: moodswings ******

**

* * *

  
**

"Choo choo!" Nate slammed a piece of doodle-pad paper into Julian's shoulder persistently as the latter sat trying to type on his lap  
top (he had a lab report that was driving him up the wall). Sighing, he took the tot's paper, and tried to decipher what the picture  
contained. A bunch of squiggly lines, what looked vaguely like a large cookie, and a deformed horse.

"That's, uh, fantastic, Nate," he lied.

"Don' like!" Nate's chin trembled.

"…" Julian held up his hand. "Course I like it. That's a cookie, right? And a horse?"

"NO!" Nate grabbed the paper and stabbed at it viciously with his small finger, pointing at the cookie. "Joo." He pointed at the horse. "Mum!"

"Thanks, Keller. Thanks a lot," Laura said from the bedroom. "I'm sure you meant _I_ was the horse."

"Uhh…" Julian wondered how he'd become suddenly cornered in a situation with no positive answer—a toddler who looked like he was  
deciding on throwing a tantrum, and a possibly angry woman—even though he'd been minding his own business and everything.

"MUM!" Nate ripped the paper out of his fingers and headed off to the bedroom in his uneven toddler gait.

"That's _wonderful,_ Nate! I like it so much! I'm going to put it on the fridge now, okay?" Laura said, much louder than she had to. She exited  
the bedroom, gave him a sneering grin, and then proceeded to attach the picture to the fridge with magnets. "Maybe that portrait being _here_  
will remind you to lay off the junk food."

"Wha—I'm not fat! What the hell!" Julian shot a glare at her. "I'm in as great shape as the day you met me!"

"Which wasn't all that great to begin with."

"Pfft. Lies." Julian coughed.

"Are you getting sick?" Laura asked, putting her hands on the counter and leaning over to scrutinize him. _Snff._

"For the billionth time, I am not. It's allergies."

"Hrumpf." Laura eyed him warily. "Don't you get the Shrimps sick. I should make you sleep outside, you flea-ridden bag of germs!"

"I love you too," Julian rolled his eyes. "God, Laura. Can you spend five minutes without trying to destroy me?"

"No," she said, grinning. Then she realized he was eyeing down her top.

"Sorry…you must be this high to ride Laura." She indicated a height of about a foot with her hand.

**…**

About an hour later (following a shower that had been interrupted by a violent Shrimp play involving plush crabs), Julian picked up his folder and  
ran to the Special Ed class (even with a burst of sonic speed he skidded into the classroom as the last student was choosing a seat). He looked  
at the clock and realized he was ten minutes late—Sylvia and Gilbert were giving him prim smiles, as if to say that _they_ were, at least, being role models.

Julian rolled his eyes and dropped the papers on the desk, thinking to himself (with satisfaction) that _they'd_ be late too if they had to deal with  
the Shrimps. In fact, they wouldn't even be here. From his viewpoint, he should get an award just for showing up. He pulled a stack of papers out  
of his folder and went to sit down—then stopped halfway, his eyes narrowing on Sylvia.

Her smile was far too bright.

"You put thumbtacks in the chair, didn't you?" he accused.

"Why would I do that?" she asked sweetly.

Julian looked at the chair carefully, ran his fingers over the seat. It seemed fine—he finally turned around and sat down.

_**WHUMPF! **_The chair collapsed, taking him with it. Julian scrambled to his knees and glared over the edge of his desk. "Guess what _I'm_ gonna make  
you do, you little inbred snob," he hissed, frustrated enough to revert to his old methods.

"Go ahead, report me to Ms. Frost," Sylvia smirked. "You can't _prove_ anything."

"Don't need to," Julian said, now on his feet. "Little treat for you. You get to scrub out the toilet for this section…the one I complained to Frost  
about last week, because _someone_ fucked with the metal parts."

Sylvia's eyes widened. "You can't—"

"Oh, I can, and I _will,_" Julian snapped. "If this little meeting goes by without further interruption I'll even let you use the cleaning supplies. If it doesn't…"

Gilbert edged his chair away from Sylvia unconsciously.

"Bring your toothbrush."

Silence. Sylvia's eyes widened.

"You can't be serious."

"Oh, I am." Julian felt evil, and enjoyed it. "And I think you owe me something." He made a come-here motion with his finger; Sylvia was dumped out of her  
chair, which flew across the room and situated itself behind his desk. He sat down, gave her a superior look, then cleared his throat. "Now…" the papers  
began floating back to their creators; Sylvia refused to catch hers and it hit her in the face. "You'll notice I was nice and didn't mark you down for grammar,  
even though a couple of you were typing like English is your fifth language…"

**…  
**

"I don't have time for their snack. I have class, I've got to be there _now,_" Laura said to Julian, hefting her backpack over her shoulder. "I'm almost late.  
Can you do that thing again?"

Julian flipped the channel on the TV. "Sure. What do I feed them?"

"I think there's some boob juice in the door. There's formula too. You can always try it…Rachel took some the other day, it's Nate that's being the silly one.  
I wonder where he gets it from." She made a _tchht _noise.

"Yeah, yeah." Julian stood up and followed her to the door. "When you back?"

"Six. How many times do you have to ask me that?"

"Just making sure." Julian stepped outside and rubbed the back of his head. "Ready?"

"Fire at will, Private Keller."

He rolled his eyes, then concentrated. Laura covered her head with her hands as she was suddenly launched the entire distance to the school, her flight taking  
about five seconds as she was propelled by a comet-like cloud of green and black.

"You don't know _how _long I've wanted to do that for," Julian remarked to Nate (who was peering around the doorframe curiously).

"Mum fye?" Nate asked.

"Uh-huh." Julian touched the boy's head. "Let's go find you some boob juice. I know fresh squeezed is best, but hey…"

**…**

A motion in the corner of his eye caught his attention, and Julian turned to look over the back of the sofa, his gaze following a cloud of loose pocket change that  
had been sitting on the kitchen counter ("Collecting bacteria!" Laura had said disapprovingly, lecturing him about being a pig).

The change was surrounded by a blue cloud.

"Nate…" Julian looked at the boy, who was standing under the kitchen table, his arm around a leg. He looked away, and the change floated  
upwards. Rachel watched from the corner, holding her stuffed octopus.

"Whoa!" Julian was unprepared for the force that suddenly lifted the sofa. "Nate! Stop it! Come _here!_" he said, stretching out his hand. The couch settled back in  
place—he was still stronger than Nate—but the boy's attention span was far broader.

_Ztttt—_a weird noise filled the room—and suddenly everything loose was floating in an anti-gravity field. Rachel clapped her hands with a big smile; Nate was sucking  
his thumb, pretending not to be involved.

"I'M NOT KIDDING!" Julian snapped from the ceiling. He unpinned himself with a jolt—he was afraid of using too much force against the boy, knowing his telekinesis  
was sort of like an invisible limb that could hurt when bent the wrong way. But this was unacceptable. Their plates were floating over the counter, followed by the toaster.

Julian threw his hand down, and the items zoomed back to their spots of origin. Nate pulled his thumb out of his mouth, his eyes wide as his parent advanced,  
and he ran under the table.

"Come back here!" Julian said, exasperated. The boy had started sniffling already, and saying the word 'Mum' over and over. Julian sighed and pulled out a chair,  
then sat down. "Nate…you can't play around with stuff. Don't use that part of your mind until you know what it's for, okay?"

Nate started to cry, loudly. Rachel's face screwed up as well, fueled by emotions through her mental link with the boy.

"Oh my god." Julian covered his ears and tried to form a thought beyond the howls emanating from all around him.

"MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM!!!!!" Nate wailed.

Julian thought of something suddenly—one of the facts the Cuckoos had uploaded in his head before the Shrimps' arrival—the best way to make a  
child stop crying was to distract them.

"Let's go outside," he said. "Go find your jackets, Shrimps."

The Shrimps stopped mid-wail, their mouths still open as they considered this turn of events. Finally Rachel totted off towards the bedroom where their clothing was  
kept, and then Nate crawled out, blinking tears away. The pair threw tantrums—oh yes—but they were highly intelligent. They only threw tantrums when they _wanted_  
something—and they'd just been offered something better than what they'd wanted. Both children loved going outside.

Julian followed them to the bedroom, watching that Nate didn't go for any outlets on the way as he tended to do.

**…  
**

"Hey there, beautiful. Going my way?"

Laura looked up towards the source of Julian's voice (the air above her), and dropped her book bag, pale. "Oh my god! He got away, didn't he? I _knew _I shouldn't  
have left him with you! You couldn't manage a peanut, Keller, let alone two—"

"Mum!" Nate came into view, followed by Rachel; both were surrounded in a cloud of green.

"…." Laura took a deep breath, and Julian suddenly had the feeling that she wasn't too pleased with him. He'd barely had time to touch the ground when she started off,  
in the loudest voice he'd ever heard her use (possibly louder than all the abductions and dinosaur attacks and battles against Magneto that they had endured together).

"_**JULIAN PATRICK KELLER! SHIT FOR BRAINS! FUCKING PUT MY CHILDREN DOWN ON THE GROUND AND GET YOUR UNDERDEVELOPED NEURONS AWAY  
FROM THEM OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL—" **_

Julian flushed; several windows had opened as the inhabitants of the rooms leaned out to watch him be berated by the girl almost a foot shorter than him in a  
very mother-like fashion. He ignored the ripples of laughter and grabbed Laura by the shoulders.

"Laura…Jesus Christ, calm down," he hissed. "Do you think I would put them in an unsafe situation?"

She paused.

"Fine. Okay. I'm sorry—you scared me," she said, looking away. "I'm really scared that something's going to happen to Nate—I—"

"_**HEY! SHIT-FOR-BRAINS! TAKE YOUR PROBLEMS TO SPRINGER, I'M TRYING TO DO HOMEWORK HERE!**_" Nori's voice sailed across the courtyard.

"Fuck you, Ashida!" Julian snarled. Nate kicked his feet from where he had perched (on his father's shoulder) and made a happy noise.

**…  
**

Laura paced the room, her hackles still bristling from earlier. Every now and then she stopped, her handles tightly clenched and shaking, the knuckles  
pearly white. She looked at the door, then finally grabbed her jacket and stomped out, still agitated from earlier. She needed someone to talk to—someone  
who would _understand _her protective motherly instincts better than Julian.

Obvious choice: Logan.

She didn't pause to consider how strange it was that she knew Logan would understand her maternal instincts (despite the fact that he was a male); she just  
knew. She barely noticed the short journey to the mansion, so deeply ensnared in her own thoughts; she was rapping her white knuckles on her DNA original's  
door before she knew it.

It opened.

"You know what the little fuck did _this_ time?" she started, her tone sharp and full of whining, then she trailed off abruptly, surprised. Logan looked terrible—nerve  
wrecked. His eyes were glassy and bloodshot, his hair was a mess—and his knuckles, too, were white.

"Want somethin', kid?" he asked gruffly.

"Uhh…" Laura paused.

_Creeak_, the door sliding shut, inch by inch.

_Snff._ Laura raised an eyebrow—her 'mentor' reeked of six kinds of alcohol, blood, and—faint traces of Kick. She couldn't tell if it was from someone he'd  
messed up or if it was from _him._

"Coz' if you don't, I got business to take care of."

"I came to complain," Laura said bluntly. "Looks like you might have a little something to get off your chest too, and I'm not talking about hair."

Logan gave her a weak grin. "I'm fine, half-pint. Can I check in with ya later?"

"Uh—" Laura didn't have much of a choice as the door shut on her slightly beaky nose. She wrinkled it in distaste.

As Laura reached the end of the hall, still huffed, she heard a small, distinctive sound. Familiar.

_Slish…slish…slash…  
_

**…  
**

"Wolverine—er, Logan? Are you _serious?_" Julian set down his homework in astonishment and stared back at the girl.

"Uh, yeah, I am," Laura said. "I've never seen him looking that down. He looked like his best friend died or something."

Julian arched an eyebrow. "I have trouble judging his moods himself. It seems to me he's got two—grumpy, and, well, grumpier."

"This isn't funny, Keller," Laura snapped. She leaned on the counter.

" It's hard for me to feel a lot for him, Laura. He's just a teacher to me. One I never liked all that much to boot. I _am_ surprised to hear that he'd be—"

"Cutting." Laura's voice was flat. "Something's going down, Keller."

"Why do you care so much? Your main bitch this year has been that he doesn't care about _you._ He's always off somewhere, doing some other shit,  
no time for his little clone. Or so I hear."

"Whatever's causing Logan to cut has to be bad. And…I smelled Kick."

Julian straightened. "Wha—"

"Don't you _dare_ tell anyone," Laura hissed. "But we have to find out what's going on, Keller. Keep your ears to the floor."

" You might have more luck with that," Julian pointed out.

"He's been looking down since he got back from Japan," Laura continued, oblivious to the comment. "Oh my fuck—do you remember, when Nate went  
up on the roof—Logan was drunk off his rocker!"

"When _isn't_ he drunk?" Julian asked.

Laura rolled her eyes. "Keller—you know how much alcohol it takes to mess either of us up."

"Forty shots and a bottle of Everclear," he said. "Or a million-dollar collection of booze. Yeah, I'm familiar with your tolerance." He rubbed his neck.

"Okay—I guess I can see why you're worried—but—it's _his_ business. We shouldn't get wrapped up—we have bad luck with this kind of shit, Laura."

Laura remained silent, but he could sense she wasn't happy with this comment.

"C'mon. Brighten up. What's for dinner?" he asked.

" Fuck you!" Laura snapped.

"I like that," he said. "And dessert?"


	8. 3: the new x men 1:3 temptatious

**

* * *

  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "the new x-men" 3 Issue: 1/3 )**

 **Chapter 88: ****temptatious****  


* * *

  
**

"A rather interesting scenario, for us to indulge in today." Emma Frost said with a slight smile. "A _real _challenge, nothing like the child's play you've been  
allowed to lull in for the past three months of this New X-men training program."

The hairs on the back of Julian's neck stood up, and he exchanged a glance with Laura. This had to be bad—really bad, really _really_ bad. He didn't like  
Frost's challenges…they were un-fucking-possible. Her challenges were more like being tortured for information…and the bad part was, he didn't know  
what information she _wanted._ Therefore he couldn't just give it up and get it over with.

"Don't you think, Ms. Moonstar?" Frost asked her companion councilor.

Dani couldn't help a slight frown of distaste. "Oh, yeah. A _real challenge_."

Frost's smile grew. She knew Dani hated her. She also knew that Julian hated her, too—at the moment—and that everyone was very anxious about what  
she might have planned. The past three months had been hell—the Brotherhood, the Marauders, old scenarios with the Hellfire club, Bastion, Sentinels,  
the Vanisher…Julian wondered what was left that his squad hadn't fought yet.

He glanced at Laura again. Her eyes were fixed stonily on Frost, as if she could read her mind.

"She's going to have us fight the X-men," Laura said quietly.

Everyone stiffened.

"Smart girl," Frost said, hands on her hips.

"_What?" _ Dani said, her eyes wide. "But—you can't—you mean the _original _X-men, right? Prior to the years of combat training?"

"Nonsense, darling," Frost said pleasantly. "I believe they are up to the challenge. They will engage in fair combat with several X-men teams over the next few  
months, working their way up. We'll have them start with, oh, say, Generation X…and then perhaps X-factor…X-force…"

Julian and David simultaneously made noises that sounded vaguely like choking.

"X-force?" Sofia asked, frowning apprehensively.

"When all other methods of diplomacy have failed…" Frost trailed off.

Julian cleared his throat. "Ma'am—"

"Silence, Keller. _You will do as you are told." _Frost glared at him with cold eyes, and he fell silent as commanded.

"Dark times are coming and we must be prepared." Frost surveyed her students, her stony expression fading. "It is my responsibility to ensure that you are  
given a fair chance at survival in this risky business. Now…are we ready, darlings?"

"Mmmm…" mumbles of agreement, full of fear.

**…  
**

"She weighs less than ninety pounds soaking wet but she hits like a tow truck!!" Santo coughed, scraping himself back together. "Literally!"

Julian remained silent. A tow truck _had_ just skidded across the asphalt, on its side—thrown by a dark-skinned girl with apparent super strength. It seemed doubly  
unfair that she could keep up perfect banter while hurling things at them.

"Cease and desist, cretins," the girl said, sweeping towards Santo. "Spare yourself the _embarrassment _of my beating you into submission!"

"_I'm_ not embarrassed," Julian hissed, launching himself at her. He wasn't small to begin with—and travelling at the speed of sound, it ought to have to  
effect of a bullet hitting an ant.

Ought to.

"Well, now _I_ am," Laura commented as _he_ now skidded on the asphalt by her feet, smoking slightly. "My husband talks to holographs, and thinks using speed  
against an immovable force will help the situation."

Julian rolled over and coughed, wincing. "I didn't _know_ she was invulnerable, smartass," he wheezed after a moment. "And…and _you_ talk to holographs."

"Only when it's a strategical advantage. What did you break now?"

He struggled to his elbow. "Uh, my shoulder…I think. H-how do we get her down?" He watched the girl land, her hands reaching for Santo's neck; she ploughed  
her fist into his stone face, her own features expressionless.

"Wallflower. And Wind Dancer." She glanced up; Elixir was already running towards Julian, ready to heal. "Go find them, quick—I was fighting this little bitch who  
treated me to my own private fireworks and I'm seeing colors right now. You're pink…does that mean something?" Laura's pupils were indeed very constricted;  
barely pinpricks in her green irises at the moment, and she was squinting. It must have been agonizing with her acute night vision.

"Love?" Julian suggested.

" I was thinking it was my gaydar going off, but whatever," Laura said.

"Fuck you." Julian coughed again and wiped his mouth. Elixir skidded to a halt.

Laura caught sight of yellow out of the corner of her eye—and whirled around.

_Paff paff paff! _"When I'm through with ya, girl, you'll shit sparks for _weeks!_" the Asian girl shouted, her fireworks bouncing off Laura's shoulders.

_Snnkt. _

"_**SUCK MY COCK**_!" Laura screamed, leaving Julian behind.

"What a lovely, lady-like wife you got there," Josh said as he healed Julian. "I assume you're the one who performs that little service for her?"

"Shut up and heal!" Julian hissed.

"Aye aye, Cap'n Crunch!" Josh grinned (the latest nickname invented and circulated by Laura).

"I'm gonna kill that coldhearted bitch someday," Julian said. "Speaking of coldhearted bitches…where's your girlfriend? We got a job for her."  
He'd teased Josh (ever since an incident in the lunchroom where Laurie had made everyone cry--including the Shrimps--with a massive pheromone  
release) about how Laurie was mean to toddlers.

"_You_ shut up. I'll go get her. She's with Sofia…"

**…  
**

Emma glared at Laura, her arms folded. The scenario had paused around them, all holographs frozen in midair. The Headmistress's expression was deadly.

"_Explain,_" she ordered.

Laura nudged something out of the way with her foot.

"It was poorly attached?" she offered.

"Missus Keller…you _decapitated a human being._ All you've got to say for yourself is that 'it was poorly attached'?"

"And that she annoyed me," Laura added. "I was very, very annoyed. Pushed past my tolerance, I'd say."

"Jubilation Lee is a close personal friend of Logan," Emma said, her eyes narrowing. "He will not be amused."

Laura sputtered. "_WHAT?_ You've got to be kidding me. They were just fuck-buddies, right?"

"_Laura!"_ Dani. Emma looked trapped halfway between amused and offended.

"My dear Missus Keller…Jubilee is only twenty, as of this moment."

"Maybe he likes them young? I don't know…I have a taste for older guys…and Logan's not exactly walking the straight and narrow…"

"Just stop talking, Laura," Julian hissed. "You're not helping yourself."

"Damn, Keller…I think _your_ girl wins in the coldhearted bitch department," Josh whispered with a big grin. Santo coughed to hide laughter.

"Jesus Christ, it's just a holograph, alright?" Laura retracted her claws. "It's not like I actually _killed_ her or anything. Do you think I value life that little, Emma?"

Emma Frost considered this. Then, to everyone's surprise…

"No. You may continue. Danger Room, resume program."

**…  
**

"Synch guy is _nasty! _He copies powers, look out!" Julian shouted to Sofia, shielding himself from his own TK blast—magnified by ten. It felt pretty  
awful; without his shield, he had no doubt his flesh would be burned away.

" AHHH!" A portion of the blast hit a satellite dish on a building behind the two airborne leaders and swept through Sofia's shoulders. She tumbled  
through the air, leaving a trail of blood; Julian acted on instinct and swept her up before she could hit the ground. "Wow, you have bad luck, beautiful,"  
he said, lifting them up again. "Let's get your nifty healer to fix you up."

" Uhh…" Sofia pressed the wound with her fingers, finding it hard to speak—but not entirely because she was injured. It had something to do with  
the arms—and memories—and a rush she shouldn't be feeling but was—like she could fly without her powers. "I can find him myself—"

"Nahh. Josh never wanders off far…apparently I'm his best customer."

Sofia smiled and closed her eyes. _Woooooooooosh _as they swept through the air and then _thud _as Julian landed. "Elixir! I'm referring someone to you!"

"Damn…according to Frost, I should be like standing around reading magazines…you guys suck!" Josh touched his hand to the wound and Sofia was  
all better; Julian set her on her feet.

"Good as new," he said as Josh ran off towards the screams (coming from Laurie's direction).

" Yes, thank you," Sofia said. She made the mistake of looking Julian in the eye.

For a second they lingered in silence, and she could have sworn he leaned forward slightly.

"…" he said. "Okay, I've got to, go, um, hit something, because, yeah, it…" he rubbed his neck, then turned and took off very quickly, his face flushed slightly.

Sofia touched her mouth. She knew what he'd been thinking. She knew what _she'd_ been thinking…and it wasn't right.

**…  
**

"You all fought well today," Emma Frost said with a pleased smile to the exhausted squads. "Not perfect…but that is to be expected. You did very  
well for your first attempt at fighting other trained mutants…those trained by myself, I might add. Yes, very well. I am proud."

Laura glanced at Julian. She could almost sense how hard he was trying _not_ to look down the line, at Sofia—and her lips pressed together.

"Yeah! Guys! Cap'n Crunch only needed healing _twice! _And only _one _was a broken bone! That_'s_ got to be a record." Josh said, waving his fist in the air.

"I still say he should wear a helmet for this," Santo added.

"Yeah, yeah," Julian said.

"Dismissed," Frost said happily.


	9. 3: the new x men 2:3 immature

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "the new x-men" 3 Issue: 2/3 )**

 **Chapter 89: immature ******

* * *

"KELLER! You take Rae!" Laura shouted as she swept Nate off the ground, his tiny fisted hands waving their claw-stubs  
around. "NOOOOO! Mummm!" he wailed, his face red and tear-streaked.

Julian ran after his daughter, who had her claws out as well and was running after Laura and Nate, screaming at the top  
of her lungs. He caught her under her armpits and swept her into the air. "Rae! Cut it out!" he said sternly as the little girl  
kicked, throwing her head back to increase her vocal power.

"NATE!" Laura set the boy down on the counter. "You be reasonable _now,_ or neither of you will _ever_ see Tito again."

Nate's eyes widened, and the sounds suddenly ceased from both Shrimps (except for gulps and sniffles).

"M-mum," he said, choking on a sob.

"Explain." Laura's voice was deadly serious. Again, Julian felt like spilling every secret he'd ever had, even though he wasn't the  
target of her command. He settled for gripping Rachel tightly.

"Fwend—Wae—" Nate struggled with his vocabulary. "Wae took fwend!"

"Not Nett's fwend!" Rae burst angrily. "Fwend want _me!_"

"I'm reasonably certain that two _psychics _that share a _brain connection_ can work out an imaginary friend without the problems you  
two encounter. But don't worry, it's not your fault…I'm sure it's hereditary." Laura said icily.

Julian knew this comment was directed at him. He rolled his eyes.

"I think the solution here is to time when you can have your friend," Laura said. "If you two can't share him without help, I'll have to  
take control of him."

The Shrimps were familiar with the timing method. Laura had an egg timer, and used it to monitor time slots for everything from the  
bouncy-whirly station to feeding times (since Nate had been an asshole—as Laura told Julian—and had taken Rachel's share out  
of spite).

The Shrimps dreaded the sound of the timer bell going off, signifying the end of their time with the object.

" No mum!" Nate said, his eyes wide. "Shawe! Shawe!"

"Fwend…fwend no like bell!" Rachel added. She sniffled loudly.

" All right, then," Laura said. "If you Shrimps so much as raise your voices with that friend of yours…I _will_ time it. Understand?"

"Yeth," the twins said solemnly.

"Good. Get some snot rags, Keller."

Julian handed her a bag of cloths that she used for cleaning the often snot-and-tear-streaked-faces of the Shrimps. She wet two  
with lukewarm water from the sink, handed one to him, then set to the familiar process of dabbing at the toddler's face. Nate  
wrinkled his nose but remained silent, afraid to vocalize his displeasure at having his face touched. Rachel, meanwhile, enjoyed  
having her face cleaned; Julian smiled slightly at the way she closed her eyes and tranced out like a rabbit being petted.

**…**

"God…three months of training and I'm _still_ sore," Julian groaned. The Shrimps were in their cribs, having just fallen asleep; something  
that was becoming slightly more regular (their teeth having finally emerged from the gums, and their brains seemingly beginning to  
adjust to the mutation development), although this was not the case with every night.

Laura didn't respond. He glanced down at her face; she was sprawled on top of him, on the couch, with her cheek pressed against his  
chest, and his hand stroking her shoulder slowly. More his thumb, now, since he'd almost drifted off himself. They'd been watching _  
Robot Chicken,_ Laura's favorite show. He couldn't see her eyes from this angle, to see if she was asleep.

"Still awake there, beautiful?"

"Don't call me that," she said quietly. Julian stiffened. "Laura—"

"No. Please don't."

Julian squeezed his hand on her shoulder. "Sit up…we've got to talk."

"No. No we don't. It's a simple request."

He pushed himself up anyway. "Laura…this isn't fair…you're making assumptions and not _listening_ to what I'm telling you."

"Because you say one thing and do another!" Laura hissed, glaring at him.

"How have I done another? You're asking me to do things that are impossible. I can't control biological instincts. I'm sorry, I'm just not that  
advanced yet. You tell me all the time how dumb I am…I thought you had it all figured that out." Julian's tone was a bit sharper than he  
meant for it to be.

"This whole…Squad thing…is bad. I can't wait till it's over." Laura looked away from him.

"We're going to win, Laura…and then we'll be X-men…all of us. And then there will be missions…possibly missions you can't go on…and maybe  
Sofia and me will be in Hong Kong, alone, and we'll have a fling in a hotel room." Julian stared at her. "Just like Cyclops and Frost, am I right?"

Laura avoided his gaze (reminiscent of Nate, when he knew he'd been bad).

"I'm insulted you trust me so little." Julian's voice was low.

"Keller."

"That's it, isn't it? You don't trust me! What the hell is it you want from me, anyways? I've asked you many times…how do I keep you happy?  
I'll _do_ it. But I can't read your mind and make it up for you." Julian waited for a response, and Laura continued to stare at the TV screen.

"Goodnight." He got up and walked to the bedroom in the dark.

**…**

"GOOD MORNING JULIAN!" the class barked back, as one.

Julian winced. "Can you guys not do that? It's really creepy."

Sylvia smirked at him from the front row and tapped her pencil on the paper. He noted that several desks had been pulled ever-so-slightly  
towards her; Gilbert's, Ernst's, and Basilisk's. It reminded him of how Brian and Santo had nudged _their_ desks over to his in the days when  
the Squads had been a rumor.

"Great. So I have something fun planned for today…since it's nice out, we're going outside."

Alarm amongst some of Xorn's old students. Stiffening.

"Outside?" Ernst peeped.

"No campfires, I swear," Julian said quickly. "I thought we'd play basketball…have some races and shi—uh, stuff. Frost gave me prizes." He  
grinned. "I'm kind of tempted to just keep them for myself."

This piqued the collective class curiosity.

**…**

Julian had a quick lunch in the cafeteria, then walked quickly downstairs and towards the house. He met Laura at the door.

"Uh," she said. She was wearing her defense class gear—the required padding to spar with Wolverine (in case he had an  
accident with his adamantium knuckles)—even though she didn't need it.

Julian brushed past her with a scowl, like he had in the pre-Shrimp days.

"Wait—" she said, catching his wrist. "You're right, we need to talk."

"You have class, and I have homework. You already had all of last night." Julian tried to shake her grip off.

"You _know_ I don't do on-the-spot thinking when it comes to, uh, emotions. I'm Wolverine's clone, for fuck's sakes!"

Julian was slightly amused by this comment, and by her wide eyes.

"Fine. You have one minute to explain to me why you're handling this relationship like a teenager with PMS." He folded his now-free arms.

"Because I _am_ a teenager with PMS?" Laura suggested. "Keller…I'm eighteen. What did you expect?"

Julian sighed. "Yeah but—wait a minute, you were seventeen last I checked. When the hell did you have a birthday?"

"It doesn't matter." Laura waved her hand. "I don't tell you some things because…well…I don't understand them myself. I don't know  
how to explain to you how I…that doesn't matter either. I…I love you?" She seemed to plead.

Julian considered. "I love you, too, but you've got to start trusting me a little. You're like a bank that won't give me  
credit even though I'm a billionaire."

"We heard you got disowned," Laura said.

"I'm leaving now."

"Wait." Laura leaned forwards and kissed him softly. "I'm sorry. We'll work on it together, okay?"

"Fine." Julian rested a hand on her back. "And yes, your birthday does matter. I feel like an asshole now. When is it?"

" You wouldn't remember anyways." Laura stuck out her tongue at him, then whirled around and pranced off down the path to the school.

"Fucking bitch," he hissed after her.


	10. 3: the new x men 3:3 field day

**A/N: **Wee I read the Hellions mini =) I was surprised that it was actually a good read, I liked the story. Hellion got lots of airtime so I was happy, and he wears yellow alot for casual clothes  
so I remain confident that a yellow BMW for him in my story is not unimaginable...and yay shirtless scene! I like pretty boys, even when they are just cartoons...eye candy. That's why I picked  
one in real life, ehehehe... o.o yep I didn't sleep last night, did two exams today (which I did horrible on despite studying for like 4 days straight...teacher's fault...don't get me started but my chem  
teacher is holy freakin' insane batman! yes, that bad!)

Needless to say, parts of this Hellions mini will work their way into my story. No, I'm trying to stay away from retconning; I'll do my own twist on it, hopefully. And it might not be all together--it just  
gave me tons of ideas for little scenes in this story. PS- new blog post on helix blog that has info on the other story statuses (such as Snff II and Cowpie II and mOBSCENE).

**

* * *

  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "the new x-men" 3 Issue: 3/3 )**

 **Chapter 90: field day ****

* * *

  
**

"All right, boys and girls," Cyclops announced, drawing everyone's attention to the small podium. "Today is the first of four major field-day events that will  
determine which team of squads will become the Institute's first New X-men team. These are the rules—as usual—no using powers against each other, no  
destruction of property, no profanities or other offensive behavior—in addition to the Xavier Institute code." Scott's eyes paused on Laura, who pretended  
not to hear him. No one had ever called a student out for swearing, but then again most students did not swear in front of teachers.

"If I may have your attention…" Emma Frost held up slips of paper. "The field days are now linked, and integrated with problem solving. Each series of clues  
will provide clues to lead you to the _next_ set of clues. The first team to reach the end of the trail—and the objective—wins!" She paused. "It isn't that easy  
though. Guarding each set of clues will be a challenge that the unit must overcome before receiving the next. Overcoming these challenges—especially the  
final challenge—will prove to us that the winners are, indeed, the New X-men."

The team leaders were called up to the podium to receive their papers.

"Everyone has a paper?" Emma Frost asked.

Nods.

"Field day is open!" Cyclops said, declaring the start.

The team leaders began opening the papers; Sofia and Julian headed straight for their unit, both knowing they weren't going to get it on their own—and  
planning to delegate—but arguing over whom the task would be delegated to.

"Laura totally has this!" Julian snapped, snatching the paper away.

"I think not. David is definably the smartest person in the school, Julian. Please pass the paper back to me so we can all begin to process the information  
correctly." For not the first time, Sofia looked annoyed at dealing with the other squad leader.

"I'm telling you, we beat you guys the last few times because of her!" Julian sounded exasperated.

Sofia used wind to sweep the paper out of Julian's fingers; he caught it again with telekinesis, looking angry.

"I have an idea…why don't we _both_ read it? God, not three minutes into this and our unit breaks into Civil war. If we're going to break the power clause…can it  
at least be against another team?" Laura kicked the ground with her boot.

"That sounds reasonable to me," Sofia said. "Please pass them the paper, Julian. I am anxious to begin."

"…" Julian glared at her for a moment, annoyed that she was ordering _him_ around. Laura took the paper from his fingers and opened it.

"It's a bunch of little symbols," Laura said, tilting her head. "This is weird."

"Let me see," David said. He scrutinized it for a while, frowning.

"While we all just stand around and figure out the brain stuff…Mercury, you're on snooping. Rockslide and Tag, you guys are on aggro duty. Dust—"

"Aggro duty?" Sofia interrupted.

Julian grinned smugly. "You don't use any _tricks? _Seriously?No wonder you New Mutants haven't won field day for a while!"

"Absolutely not!" Sofia said, looking offended. "We will do this _right_ and _fair _or not at all, Julian!"

The rest of the New Mutants team seemed outraged. At least, the girls did—Nori and Laurie—Josh looked like he might be leaning towards Julian's tactics, while  
David's expression was of yet neutral. Jay was staring off into the distance.

"Nice guys finish last, you know," Julian added.

"We're not gonna cheat, Keller!" Nori shouted, making fists. "Goddamn, I can't believe Dani would make us team up with a—"

"Bag of wet assholes?" Laura supplied, tapping her boot on the grass. "A-hem. If I can address the fearless leaders. If you're completely done with  
the ethics argument, that is."

Julian raised an eyebrow, glancing at her. "We're clearly _not_ done," he said sharply.

"Don't make me put the timer on the talking stick, Keller," Laura threatened.

"Doesn't work on me."

The rest of the team was silent for a moment, not understanding the exchange (they didn't get the timer reference); but Julian rolled his eyes and  
stayed quiet, seeing that Laura was determined to be heard whether he wanted it or not.

"It works better if you're _all_ on aggro duty. For the newbies…go call the other teams names, interrupt them, get them in conversations…whatever  
works for you. Me and David will take care of all the thought-work. Understood?"

"Wha—no! Absolutely not!" Julian said. Sofia folded her arms, for the first time giving Laura a negative look. It clearly said _I'm in charge here. _

"It _would_ be better if we can think in peace and quiet," David said calmly, understanding that Laura's real purpose was for the team to leave them alone.

"David—" Nori.

"Laura—" Julian.

"They are not—" Sofia.

" I don't—" Laurie.

"Hahaha—" Josh.

"Just SHUT the FUCK UP!" Laura snapped. "All of you! My God! I have two _toddlers _and they are better behaved than all of you put together! And you  
want to be X-men? I'd sleep with a knife under my pillow if that happened!"

Silence.

Finally, Julian cleared his throat. "Okay. She's right. Let her and David handle it."

"But—" Sofia looked stressed.

"Come on," Laura mumbled to David, turning her back on the mess.

**…**

"This makes no sense," David said grimly, referring to the piece of paper he was holding. "There's no pattern to the symbols. What would a  
stick on a triangle, a lightning bolt, a twizzler, and a x-symbol have to do with anything?"

"That's not a twizzler, it's a cable," Laura said matter-of-factly. "You know…wires…for electricity."

David raised his eyebrows. "Well, that would fit the theme a bit better. Let's see…if the theme is electricity…and it starts at a stick with a  
triangle…oh! That must be a lightning rod!"

Laura followed his gaze to the school roof; more specifically to the lightning rod on the west look-out tower. She frowned.

"I think I have an idea. That's right above the ready room in the sublevels. David…they've hooked up the lightning rod…to the  
door….do you get what I'm saying?"

David did, indeed. "Ohhh! That's for Nori! They want us to use these clues not only to find location, but to figure out _who's_ the key for the challenge."

"Clever," Laura said.

"Wait—they always tell us it's just the grounds, nothing inside." David looked apprehensively at the roof.

"They didn't this time, did they?" Laura headed back towards the group; after a moment David decided the idea was right and hurried after her.

"We've got it, guys," he said, looking excited (David always showed the most enthusiasm when confronted with a logic puzzle). "Nori, we need  
your help. You've got to go to the roof…to the lightning rod. We're jacking open a door in the sublevels…and we need a charge."

"Huh?" Nori looked confused. "But—how the hell am I gonna get up there?"

"Sofia can do it," Julian said instantly, intent on spending as little time with Nori as possible. "I'll go with Laura and David. To, uh,  
supervise. Wait for our communication."

"Right. Because _we're_ the ones who need supervision," Laura said, rolling her eyes.

Sofia looked annoyed as well, but did not comment. A gust of wind arose, and she and Nori drifted upwards, mumbling to each other in aggravated tones.

"Wish we had a telepath, so we could coordinate better," Julian said as he headed towards the mansion doors, David and Laura following shortly.

"I don't know if that would be enough to fix the problem," David said quietly.

Julian stopped, at the door now. "What are you getting at, Alleyne? It's _your _captain who's causing all the trouble around here."

"Tell me about it," Laura mumbled.

Silence. Julian glared at her.

"Guys…let's talk about this later, okay? We're on the clock." David.

"Yeah, let's." Julian shrugged and entered the mansion (letting the door swing shut behind him and nearly hitting Laura in the face).

**...**

A few minutes later found them in the subbasement, walking down the metallic corridor, their eyes shifting side to side for some kind of sign.

"So…brain people…how are we going to figure out which _door_ it is?" Julian asked, rubbing his hair with a gloved palm. "I mean, there's only _a million_ identical X-doors."

"Well, it's going to be right under the lightning rod, right?" David said.

"That and the fact that I'm going to smell it," Laura said. Julian suddenly noticed she _was_ doing just that—leaning forwards ever so slightly  
like a dog following a scent trail. A bloodhound. It dawned on him that—even living in close quarters with Laura, and dealing with some of  
the nastier effects of her powers (for example, the nausea induced by her delicate olfactory senses), he really knew very little about her  
powers. They didn't come up on a daily basis, and even in squad she rarely used them, her claws coming out only occasionally.

"You can tell? But—we don't know who rigged the door."

"It doesn't matter. We're looking for a door relatively close to the rod, and it'll probably have the freshest scent on it. Best we can hope  
for anyway." She stepped closer to one door in particular, examined it critically, then passed on.

"Guys." David pointed ahead, spotting it before the others (who had stopped to investigate two opposite doors).

The Danger Room.

"Oh, my god," Julian said. It was quite obviously the door they were looking for; the panel had been opened with various wires hanging  
out. "Damn, they really went all-out on this. Aren't they afraid we're going to hurt something?"

"No," David said. "They taught me, two weeks ago. About wiring—it was aimed towards disarming bombs…but I'm positive they taught  
me how to jack open this door at the same time."

" All yours," Laura said, holding her elbows. "I've done more than enough door-jacking in my lifetime. Think you could use the practice."

Julian rolled his eyes. Laura and her tough-girl attitude. Sometimes he bought it, sometimes he didn't. Admittedly she _had _managed to  
bypass the security system on his BMW a long time ago…but still.

David focused on the panel, touching wires hesitantly with his fingers. "God, I wonder which one it is. Blue to blue, or red to  
blue. There's two different kinds of bombs Cyclops taught me to disarm."

"This isn't a bomb," Julian said.

Laura was looking at something in-between the almost nonexistent split in the door. "I wouldn't be so sure, Keller," she said.

A thin sheet of plastic tape, with wires at the top.

"Jeez." Julian raised his eyebrows. "Well—if it goes wrong—I mean, Emma had me containing explosions, remember? Guess it was for this."

Laura watched David. "You know how to do this?"

"Yes," he said, not looking at her. "Just give me a second to concentrate."

A few minutes passed with David tentatively poking the wires and mouthing something to himself. Then he straightened.

"All right…you ready Julian?"

"Uh huh." Julian fiddled with his X-shaped communicator, then passed it to Laura (only the leaders had one, as they were  
expensive). "Here, you tell them to go."

It all happened very fast, as soon as Laura had told Nori and Sofia what to do on the radio; David touched the wires together, Julian  
surrounded them in a green bubble, and Laura held the communicator. She could hear the electricity travel down the wire—_zzzzzzzzZTTTTTTT—_

The door opened smoothly, with the tape safely on one edge. Unactivated.

"Hello," said a voice. A robotic, female voice.

"Ohh—" Julian started, along with David, their eyes fixed on a strange female shaped being in the center, made of metal. Even her hair,  
and her eyelashes. Her eyes burned electrically in her strange metallic face.

"I'm guessing you know who she is?" Laura whispered to Julian, standing behind him. His body language spoke of fear.

"We have met," the robot said. "My name is Danger."

"N-not good, Laura, _not good!_" Julian stammered, his face pale.

Danger approached them slowly, her gait like that of a predatory cat.

"I have something for you. Or, rather—I'm guarding something. But you'll have to get through _me_ to get it."

"Should be easy enough," Laura said loudly, popping her claws with a _snkkt. _Just one set. Obviously under appreciating what Danger was capable of.

"Never met a robot whose ass I couldn't kick. Wait—do robots technically _have_ asses?"

Danger pounced—at Laura—and clubbed her on the head with a heavy, metallic arm. Laura stumbled backwards, not having expected this fluid agility from a  
robot. She fell on her behind, her nose bleeding momentarily, and then her eyes cleared from the glassy haze they'd acquired.

"Ahhaha." Laura struggled to her feet as Danger advanced. "Nice. _That's _not going to happen again, let me—"

Sounds of punching—Laura's blood flying—a chokehold—then Danger was drawing her other arm back, and Julian realized she'd reshaped it into an enormous  
blade. He suddenly snapped out of the trance of fear Danger had put him into (with the traumatic memories of the Danger Room going nuts).

"LAURA!" he shouted, slamming into Danger's side as hard as he could. A scramble, a green flash, and then she flew off the girl and skidded across the metal  
floor with a horrible screeching noise; she bared her silver teeth. He'd pissed her off.

"You will die for that," Danger said. So matter-of-factly.

"This was a bad idea—splitting up the team," David said apprehensively.

Julian rolled over on his side and coughed; blood was running down his face from his chin and his nose. "…wasn't _my_ idea…" he wheezed.

"Keller! What the—" Laura scrambled over to him, not liking what she was smelling. Internal fluids that shouldn't be exposed. The floor beneath  
him was shining with a dark, red liquid.

"It'll be fine," he said, his voice firm. He was holding a spot on his abdomen. "We need to get her down, _now._ Think fast."

Danger was standing there, glaring at them. Not just glaring—_adapting._ They could see metal cords snaking up and twisting into new sharp-edged shapes.

"I—the bomb!" David said. "Julian—"

Julian suddenly remembered two things—the odd reactions his powers had on explosives, of late…and the plastic bomb-tape on the door.

"Laura! Get the strip for me!"

"But we don't have a way to—"

"Just _do_ it!"

Laura ran to the door and tugged on the strip desperately; it was well bonded. _Snkkt_—she wedged one claw in-between the tape and the  
door's edge and glided it down with ease.

"Holy—" David.

Danger was flying at them, having integrated _flight_ into her abilities after Julian's charge. "Throw it at her!" Julian directed, sitting up with a wince.

Laura decided to trust him; she balled the strip up in her hands and hurled it at Danger like some sort of perverse softball. "Batter up!" she shouted;  
and she suddenly understood Julian's plan—a second before it happened.

He'd grabbed hold of the bomb mentally.

_**KAA-BOOOM! **_

Laura was thrown backwards, high up against the wall; pain radiated through her body. To add to that, she was beginning to slide downwards.

She could barely breathe. This she accounted to the pain in her side, rather than the thick cloud of smoke radiating from the Danger Room floor.

She reached the bottom and fell to her knees, her ears filled with funny pops and crackles. At first she thought it was bones mending themselves, but  
then she realized it was an aftereffect of the blast on her eardrums.

She shook her head and fought to get to her feet; she had to find her teammates. She noted absently that one arm felt dislocated, which meant she'd  
have to find someone to help her pop it in.

"KELLER!" she shouted, wafting smoke out of her eyes with her good arm. There—green. She scrambled towards it and found Julian and David lying on  
the floor, surrounded in a green bubble and looking shell-shocked but otherwise unharmed.

"Wow, thanks, asshole," Laura said, holding her dislocated elbow. "It would have been very considerate of you to _shield me too._"

"Couldn't…reach you," Julian wheezed.

David looked into the smoke. "Do you think we just breached the property destruction code?"

"Nahh," Julian said. "Just get Sof…it's only smoke…"

"Might want to grab Josh while you're at it," David said pointedly. More blood was on the floor, all Julian's.

"Get on that, right now!" Laura snapped. "That could be a fatal wound!"

"You have…my badge," Julian pointed out. "Dumbass."

"Oh." Laura patted her pockets down and found the round X-shape she'd tucked away instinctively when Danger had appeared (she had developed a  
knack for safekeeping with the toddlers around), then fished it out and pressed it.

"Cleanup to aisle three!" she said into the microphone area.

**…**

With the smoke cleared and Julian healed, they finally located Danger's smoking remains in the center of the room. Parts of her metal had actually  
fused together from the heat and force of the blast.

"Hehehe, atomic beer fart," Nori said, remembering something Laura had said a long time ago about Julian.

"Be quiet, Ashida," he snapped. "Look for the next clue, people—Danger said she had something for us!"

"I think she meant a can of whoop-ass, Keller," Laura said flatly.

They finally found the next message (David had been yelled at twice by both Leaders to quit messing around with Danger's remains and help search)  
inside Danger's head, a series of symbols etched into the empty metal dome.

"A twizzler…a bird…a mountain...and a stick figure that looks like its glowing," David said, his forehead wrinkled.

"Come on!" Julian grabbed the helmet from David. "We can figure it out later! Right now we've got first place to claim!"

"Keller—what have I told you guys about saying _please_?" Laura scolded.

Julian was already out the door, with Sofia shortly behind.

**…**

"All right, that's a wrap. We're ready to announce the Field day winners." Cyclops was holding his clipboard again, and the teams were lined up beside him  
in front of the rest of the school. Every squad had several members with torn or otherwise damaged uniforms (Julian's wasn't the only one covered in blood,  
although his was less visible against the red material).

"First place goes to the New Mutant-Hellions team," Cyclops said. Frost beamed at them from the side, obviously pleased. Dani was smiling too, although  
more apprehensively. "They took down a replica of Danger, the Danger Room's very own representative—in an impressive five minutes of combat."

"Second place goes to the Corsairs-Alpha Squadron, who were faced with the task of detaining a replica of the White Queen."

Laura glanced at the other combined team, which consisted of the Stepford Cuckoos, Anole, Quill, and a few other people whose names she'd never cared to find  
out. One of the members (a boy with a pair of headphones around his neck) waved at her, grinning.

She turned away.

"And third place—a close third—goes to the Paragons and Excelsiors, who were responsible for taking down the Juggernaut!"

"_What?_" Julian hissed, glaring down the line at the squad of somewhat younger mutants. "That's bullshit! We've done Juggernaut as our regular training! How—"

"Keller!" Laura whispered. "Not now."

"Mmm." He continued to glare, but was silent, deciding she was right. His team _had_ won first, after all.


	11. 4: f word 1:3 family day

**A/N: **Ahhhh oh no! Not liking X-Force #12...especially when I saw the previews for #13! SPOILER....

Hellion falls prey to **stranger danger!** View my helix blog for link-- (on my author's page)

NOTE: This chapter is just what the title states.

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "f-word" 4 Issue: 1/3 )**

 **Chapter 91: family day****  
**

* * *

Julian leaned his cheek on his palm, trying not to look too bored. It was such a wind-down—to train for weeks, to get his adrenaline pumping,  
to have a _field day_—the first in four that would determine whether he'd get to be a real X-man or not—and he'd _won it_—and now he was being  
forced to shop. For children's wear.

He was more of a pack-mule, really.

Before this excursion to the mall, Laura had had a serious talk with the Shrimps, telling them they'd have to use the neat trick 'Auntie Emma'  
had taught them…pretending they were normal kids…if they wanted to go to the toy store. The Shrimps had been spending a little bit of time  
with Emma every week, as she was trying to teach them to use their telepathy; more of how _not_ to use it at this stage, as they were afraid  
the Shrimps would soon begin prying into people's thoughts. She did, however, teach them how to disguise themselves; when the Shrimps  
did this, the little skin patterns vanished and they looked like regular toddlers.

Julian worried non-stop that they would forget to do this, even though they'd hammered the importance into the children's minds.

They had stopped at the food court, and the Shrimps were also sitting at the table, each with a small sundae in front of them. Julian worried,  
also, about giving them sugar. Laura seemed to think it would be alright; she'd commented that she was trying to introduce Nate to the  
concept of eating food that didn't come out of a boob. Her plan seemed to be working—Nate was beating the rest of them, ice cream all  
over his face.

"Keller, can you try not to look so bored?" Laura asked. Whispered.

"Hmm?" Julian stifled a yawn. "I'm not. Really."

"I'm trying to give the Shrimps a nice time. We haven't been doing much with them lately."

"I know." Julian's eyes settled on Nate, who was turning the bowl upside down to lick it (and getting ice cream in his hair).

"Please tell me we have napkins."

Laura sighed. "I'll take him to the washroom. Jeez, look at him…he's like one of those animals you see on discovery channel…with the carcasses…"

Julian shuddered, seeing exactly what she was getting at.

"Where we going next?"

"Toy store," Laura said flatly. She _did_ look a little bored herself—but at the word 'toy', both Shrimps perked up.

"Lego, mum! I wan' Lego! Like Tito! He got pirate set!" Nate demanded, slamming his bowl down on the table suddenly. "Mum!"

"Nate, those pieces are tiny. How can I trust you guys won't eat them?"

"We won's," Nate promised.

"I wouldn't trust him," Julian advised, folding his arms. He'd caught Nate trying to swallow marbles from a pile the other day (with Rachel  
cheering him on). "Kid's lying through his little teeth."

"Mum!" Nate said, agitated. "I won' eats it!"

"We'll see." Laura watched the small boy till he looked away guiltily, knowing what both 'adults' were thinking about. They'd had a long  
discussion about the marble incident, resulting in the seizure of said marbles (which Laura had locked in a childproof drawer until Nate  
was 'old enough').

"Moweh?" Rachel asked hopefully, having finished her sundae.

"What do you say?" Laura asked. She was very adamant (for some reason that Julian wasn't aware of—God knows _she_ didn't have any)  
that the Shrimps learn manners, and learn them well.

"Pyease," Rachel said solemnly. She couldn't pronounce L's yet.

Laura looked at Julian, who finally got up and headed back to the dessert booth, rummaging in his pockets for change.

"Another blueberry for me," Laura called after him sweetly.

**…**

So now Julian found himself standing in the Lego aisle, with Nate, staring at boxes of plastic toys. For the first few minutes, he'd been  
attracted to the brightly colored boxes himself—he'd been obsessed with Lego when _he_ was about seven years old. The packages,  
with their semi-realistic scenes, tended to naturally cause an adrenaline reaction.

But after fifteen minutes of standing in the aisle while Nate examined the boxes…the nostalgia had quickly worn off.

He and Laura had had a whispered conversation, before coming to the mall, about whether Nate should be allowed Lego or not. The  
pieces were small, and the boy was not all too concerned with safety. At the same time he was very smart (Julian just didn't understand  
how he could be unsafe and smart at the same time).

Finally it had been decided that Nate would be allowed to have one small set—but they'd make him beg. Laura figured he would be less  
likely to eat something precious to him, something he'd had to work for.

"Joo! Look!" Nate called.

Julian started; the toddler had run out of his eyesight.

"Where the hell did you go?!" he asked, panicking.

"JOO! LOOK!" Nate repeated louder. Julian ran after the voice, around the corner, and saw that the boy was crouched in front of a glass  
display case containing a castle.

"Cool." Julian shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to look casual, despite the fact that his heart was doing about a million beats per  
minute. The kid was so damn fast…if he glanced away, he was gone, instantly.

He wanted a leash.

"Wan' dat!" Nate said, tapping the glass.

"Nahh, you don't want that," Julian said. "Castles are no fun. All the Lego-men are stuck inside defending it. Trust me…it's more fun if you  
have a small set…and go exploring with them."

Nate looked up, considering this with a serious frown. He didn't understand all the words, but the toddler looked up to Julian and his  
experience (despite having stabbing issues with him at times). And he'd just said the word 'fun'.

"Look…what about some pirates?" Julian picked up a conveniently smaller box (labeled clearly '10 parts, for 0-3 years') and pretended to  
read it, knowing nothing made Nate want an object more than if _he_ was holding it.

Sure enough the toddler ran up to him, hands waving. "Wan' see!"

"There's three guys in this one, Nate. And a boat. You could help Tito's ship out."

"JOO! Gimme!" Nate was very demanding now.

"No. Say what L—mom told you." Julian still had a difficult time referring to her as 'mom', afraid the word would come up in his mind  
during inconvenient times.

"Gimme!"

"Nate."

The boy looked away. "Please."

Julian handed the box to the boy and patted his head. "Speaking of—mom—let's go ask her if you can have it. The Lego men are  
creeping me out, all these eyes…"

**…**

Laura was in an aisle four rows away, having peered around the corner and watched the exchange between the two boys. She was  
often surprised at how good Julian was with the Shrimps, especially since he hadn't wanted them in the first place. He had a knack for  
treating them like adults, and had begun to figure out all their little 'tricks'; they'd even ceased to stab him in the knee, respecting  
him more as they developed.

She was surprised, too, about how well the twins listened to her, respecting her every word. Almost fearful, awed respect, like wolf  
cubs for their mother. Granted, things weren't always like this. There were tantrums—many tantrums—and bad days—and days when  
the Shrimps lived to cause trouble. Nate still wouldn't listen to Laura about feeding. But the basic respect was there, and that  
still surprised her.

She looked back at Rachel; they were in the plushy aisle, and Laura was hoping the tot might see something cuddly. She didn't know  
why, but she wanted her to have a _girly_ toy, amongst the many Duplos and mechanical toys the Shrimps already had. Something that  
Nate wouldn't take from her.

Maybe it also had to do with the fact that Laura didn't feel all that feminine at times. She was attractive—sexy, she knew—she wore  
nail polish and makeup and dressed in low-cut tops—but she'd never bothered to have things that were soft and girly, just cute.  
Not meant in any way to attract males. In this subconscious way, she wanted her daughter to have the option of becoming a  
different person. So she stood in the plushy aisle and waited for something to catch her eye.

Rachel examined a pink hippo critically with her eyes.

Footsteps—the boys were approaching. Julian made a scoffing noise. "You don't want that, Rae, it's too—"

Laura shot him a look that spoke of pure death, by heated instruments, and he physically swerved into a rack of hotwheels,  
causing several to fall off the pegs.

"Jesus, okay," he said, rubbing his rib (he'd been poked by the display).

"Mum!" Nate ran up, wielding the pirates package. "Please! Please!"

"Oh, I don't know, Nate," Laura said, taking the box. "Are you sure you could keep track of all these parts?"

"I was thinking we could make a check-list, and do like a headcount every few hours or something," Julian commented.

"That'd be your job." Laura turned the package over and looked at Nate, sucking her tongue. "You really think you wouldn't eat this, Nate?"

"No! Mum! PLEASE!" Nate looked frantic.

"I'd say give it a shot," Julian said, fingering things in his pockets now. "You girls done, or should we warm up the car for you?"

Laura rolled her eyes.

"Typical method—boy enters store and take ten seconds for the money shot."

Julian glared at her. "Fine, take all the time you want. I'll just _think_ unflattering things about you."

"You do that." Laura turned back to Rachel, who had pulled the hippo out of the rack and was holding it quietly. "That what you want, Rae?"

Rachel paused, then bobbed her head up and down.

"Mmmkay. Let's load him up." Laura passed the Lego box to Julian, and Rachel held up the hippo.

A store worker stared after them with a weirded-out expression, having been privy to the entire conversation.

**…**

"God."

At home. Finally finished putting away purchases, and setting up Nate's Lego (Laura had catalogued the parts and put the list on the fridge  
door). Tags had been cut, clothes had been hung (_that_ store had been a sojourn to hell for Julian, trying to keep Nate quiet in the store  
when he was about five times as bored as the little boy).

Julian threw the rag onto the counter, along with his car keys. Little brat had spread some of that mysterious sticky toddler-substance all over  
the back seat (despite having been securely fastened in a car carrier). Neither he nor Laura—even with her enhanced senses—could figure out  
what the hell it _was._ It was all over the living room though. And it had taken him half an hour to scrub off the leather seat of his BMW, plus another  
twenty minutes to grapple with the straps of the carrier in the dark. Needless to say he was now in a bad mood.

And he was getting a migraine, one of those distinct power-related ones.

"You okay?" Laura asked from the couch, seeing him stop by the sink, his face screwed up in a grimace of pain. She had to admire how much he  
and Nate looked alike when they were expressing strong dislike towards something.

"Couple pills should do it. Where the hell is that bottle?"

"Above the fridge, the locked cupboard. You left it on the counter once and I found Nate playing soldiers with it. Damn lucky he didn't figure  
out the top could come off, Keller…"

"Yeah, yeah." Julian unsnapped the cupboard with his mind and the bottle shot into his hand (he barely caught it in time). "Jesus!"

Laura wrinkled her nose. "Only _you_ could hurt yourself with a bottle of painkillers," she said derisively. "Well, you _and _your son."

"Least if he _does_ get into something bad…he's got a healing factor," Julian pointed out. "I probably left it on the table to go puke.  
It wasn't like I meant it."

Laura shrugged. "Just don't do it again. Having a healing factor doesn't mean you _should_ be subjected to harmful substances."

Now Julian remained silent, although he had an archive of past events with Laura that seemed to say otherwise. He wasn't in the mood to fight.

"Take your pills and let's hit the sack. I've had about enough of today," she added.

"What? I thought you were having the best time of your life." Julian thought back to her encouraging speech at the clothing store that had  
prevented a major, public Shrimp-tantrum. The one where Nate had almost forgotten how important it was to keep pretending he  
was a normal boy.

"Fuck that." Laura leaned back her head. "I'm exhausted. I wanted to plunge my own claws into my eyes the whole time."

"Conveniently leaving _me_ with the burden," Julian grumbled, after swallowing the pills. He dropped the plastic tumbler in the sink and  
turned off the light. "I don't know which is worse…practice with Frost, or this."

"Well, at least the Shrimps are happy," Laura whispered. She was now in the bedroom, peering into one of the cribs at Nate, who was  
curled around his prawn toy defensively.

"Mmm." Julian didn't sound all that relieved.


	12. 4: f word 2:3 focal day

**

* * *

  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "f-word" 4 Issue: 2/3 )**

 **Chapter 92: Focal day ******

* * *

Julian blinked at the poster on the wall, his heart thumping. It had rows of letters…and it wasn't school related.

"…F?" he asked.

Dr. McCoy raised an eyebrow. "An 'F' for 'Fail', Mr. Keller, if that's what you mean. Try again. I'll even let you try three times, since you won't believe me."

Julian flushed slightly and glared at the poster. Squinted. He realized he was squinting, and it made him angry.

"GRRR! I do NOT need GLASSES!" he snapped.

"Oh yes, yes you do," Dr. McCoy said calmly. "We've run this test twice. You can't read past the fifth row on the chart. Your vision has degenerated to 20/35,  
and I've even managed to figure out what your prescription is, without you realizing it. Would you like to hear _why_ this has happened?"

"I don't need glasses." Julian folded his arms. "I can totally read that line. It says B, Y, Z, D, 4, 2, 3."

Dr. McCoy made a patient face. "Mr. Keller…there are no numbers on that line. And the last symbol is an exclamation point."

Julian closed his eyes.

"This can't be happening."

Dr. McCoy made a noise. "Excuse _me…_glasses aren't the end of the world. _I_ wear glasses, and they are just fine. Ms. Frost wears glasses. Mr. Drake wears  
glasses. Even Mr. Summers has a prescription built into his visor."

Julian's cheek twitched. "You don't understand…I, uh…I made _fun_ of some…certain people…for wearing glasses, before."

"Ah." Dr. McCoy was hard-pressed to conceal a smile. "That I cannot help you with. Do you want to hear why this is happening?"

"I guess." Julian looked at the floor.

"Your brain has…expanded somewhat. I believe your motor cortex—the region of your telekinesis—has grown larger. This has put pressure on your optic nerve…and  
your eyeball has in turn changed shape slightly, responding to the internal pressure. You have a medium case of astigmatism."

Julian rubbed his face.

"I can wear contacts, right?" he asked.

"Of course. Eventually. You should start with glasses…I want you to wait for two months, with the contacts. See how your eyes adjust to the prescription. Then, if all  
goes well…you could wear contacts for, say, 8 hours a day, to start with. This might not help with your headaches immediately."

"Yay," Julian said flatly.

"I will write a prescription for the lenses. There's an optician near here that the mansion has used for years. They are mutant-friendly."

"What a relief."

"It's not the end of the world, Mr. Keller. A few months from now and you won't even realize you require visual aides."

**…  
**

Julian made a secret trip to the optician and bought contacts—despite Dr. McCoy's orders—as well as the glasses (although he never, _ever_ planned to use them). He hid them  
in his car until he knew Laura was at school, then rummaged around the house to find a hiding place. Somewhere she would never look. This _could not_ get out, he'd never live it down.

He knew this because David's glasses had been the point of most of his ridicule for years, and Nori hated him for it. If she ever found out…

And Laura was friends with Nori…and well-known to spill embarrassing secrets to make fun of him…

He finally hid them in an old bag in the back of the closet, something he thought Laura would never rummage through. She was too busy for 'spring cleaning'—and she hated sorted  
messes. He purposely threw some items haphazardly over the bag to make it look like a pile of junk, then closed the door.

**…  
**

"What the hell's going on with your eyes, Keller?" Laura asked during lunch break. The Shrimps were sitting in the tall seats the mansion had bought for them, a bottle of baby  
food in front of each. Nate had finally given into to idea of eating instead of drinking, and was now feeding himself (a skill that had been helped along by Laura's ice cream trick).

Rachel was a pro at it already.

Julian blinked back tears and tried not to rub. "Dirt," he said. "Maybe I scratched it this morning or something."

"Both of them?"

"Yeah." Julian realized this was a weak excuse, but he couldn't think clearly with two eyes that felt like they had a dry rubber coating over them. He couldn't even enjoy the  
sharper vision. They felt awful.

"Let me look, maybe I can get it out for you."

"No!" Julian's voice came out unintentionally loud, and heads swiveled throughout the cafeteria to look at him. He flushed.

"Uh, don't worry about it. I'll get it myself in a bit. I'm pretty sure it's a scratch…I looked earlier and I didn't see anything. So, yeah."

Laura raised her eyebrows. "Someone's fidgety about their eyes."

Julian saw a chance. "Yeah. I freak out really bad when people try to touch them. It's an old phobia of mine."

"Huh." Laura turned back to Rachel, who was looking at the rice on her plate hopefully, and Julian almost breathed a sigh of relief. His secret was safe…for now.

**…  
**

"I gotta, um, take a leak," Julian said, disentangling himself from Laura as she was about to turn out the lights. Even after being miserable with them all day,  
he'd _still _almost forgotten the damn contacts.

She turned over, too sleepy to question. He headed to the bathroom and closed the door, thought about locking it, but knew _that_ would raise questions. So  
he reached into the back of the bathroom drawer and pulled out the bag he'd put the case and fluid inside.

He opened the case very quietly and set the lid on the counter, then proceeded with the half-hour struggle of extracting the damn things (the opticians had  
promised it would become easier with time).

Yeah right.

**…  
**

He did slightly better in class with his clearer vision, now being able to take notes from the board again. He found himself, however, unwillingly glancing at  
David—and wincing. Nori noticed this once in class.

"He's taken, Keller," she hissed venomously.

Victor—Anole—had grinned, along with Santo.

Julian had been mortified beyond response.

Things went smoothly until the next team practice, where Emma had them up against Juggernaut again.

**…  
**

Julian was flying blind. Literally. He found he couldn't keep his eyes open against the combined onslaught of Sofia's wind and his own sonic air  
currents—and he couldn't very well shield himself at every second.

This didn't work well either.

"KELLER! Look out!" Laura shouted to him, but it was too late—the fist caught him in his side and slammed him into the wall at about fifty miles an  
hour. His body screamed pain as he slid down, and his lungs did that weird tickling thing they did every time he got hit, hard.

He reached the floor and curled into a ball, clutching his ribcage as he coughed up a lump of—something—and swallowed it down before anyone could  
notice. Laura was constantly nagging him about his coughing—he didn't need her to know it was more than just allergies. Which it wasn't.

Elixir was already running towards him. "Damn! He got you good, man…"

"Mmm." Julian held out his hand and Josh grabbed it; in a second he was healed and getting to his feet. "Fucking unfair—I was flying at the speed of _sound_—"

"You flew into his fist?"

"Yeah, right." Julian blinked, suddenly aware of something. Something horrible.

"Something wrong?" Josh looked at him funny.

"N-no. Get back in there—I think Laurie got hit."

_That_ sent Josh running away, and left Julian to stare at the floor. With one clear eye, and one blurry one. _Oh fuck, oh fuck…_

"Keller! Get back in the goddamn fight! We need the squad leader!" Laura shouted, dodging a blow at her head.

"Hellion!" Sofia, sweeping down from the air. "We need to remove Juggernaut's helmet ! Can you remove the rivets on the edge?"

Julian swallowed. _Oh, FUCK._

"Uh—I don't know if it'll work—I mean—what if—"

"Just DO it!" Laura shouted, caught in Juggernaut's grip now.

Julian closed his blurry eye and sent a rush of energy through his hand, towards the blurry area of Juggernaut's head. "AHHH!"

Laura—he'd hit Laura instead. "Thanks, asshole!" she snapped, now on the ground. At least the charge had made Juggernaut let go of her. He ran over  
to where she'd landed. "Jeez—you okay?"

"Been better." Laura wiped her mouth free of blood. "Try it again, without the craptacular aiming, okay?"

Julian threw himself towards the hulking man currently going after David and Laurie, figuring that—since he couldn't see well enough to aim, he'd have to  
rely on damage he could do up close. And since he could go _fast…_

He had a split second to wrap his fingers around Juggernaut's helmet as he passed overhead.

**_SNAPP!! _**

Moments later he was halfway across the room, the helmet still in his hands, ripped off by the force of his momentum; and Juggernaut's head was now exposed, like a mussel in a shell.

"Nice!" David shouted.

The simulation ended with Brian selectively 'tagging' his teammates and causing Juggernaut to run away.

"Not a permanent solution," Emma said, "but it will have to do, seeing as your unit, unfortunately, does not have a telepath. I am sure that will not be the case on the field."

**…  
**

When they got home, Julian went straight for the closet, unable to stand the blurry vision now that he'd had a taste of 20/20 again. His fingers found an empty bag,  
and he turned around to face Laura.

Holding his glasses case.

"Why, Keller, what's this?" she asked in a sing-song voice.

Julian flushed. "Uh—those aren't mine."

"Really." Laura popped the case open, revealing _them_. The rectangular black frames. The…glasses… "So you won't mind if I…" she made a motion, as if to drop them on the floor.

To step on them.

Julian made an involuntary jerky movement. They'd been expensive.

"AHAH!" Laura brandished the glasses towards him. "Put them on! I want to see this!"

"No." Julian took the glasses and put them back in the case. "You took the other…boxes…and that's what I want."

"Boxes?"

So Laura was going to play dumb.

"Contacts. Look, alright, I wear contacts. Big deal. Lots of people do."

"Except you. Keller, I _know_ what Dr. McCoy's orders were. Two months of glasses, _then_ contacts. You could be screwing up your brain more than it already is."

"What?! He—" Julian glared at her. "That's confidential! He's not supposed to tell you about that!"

"He didn't. I found the instructions in the garbage, asshole."

"Oh." Julian blinked. "Can I have boxes back, please?"

"No." Laura looked firm. "You are going to _wear_ those glasses, until the two months is up. I don't care what kind of weird hang-up you have…you're going to follow the orders,  
okay? You're the one in this family who doesn't have a healing factor, so you're _not_ taking risks."

"Give me my goddamn contacts, Laura!"

"No." Laura nodded at the glasses. "You have those. Last thing I need is you going _blind._ I already have enough babies to take care of."

"Grrrrr!" Julian brushed past her and stomped out of the room, thoroughly pissed off. He was going out—he couldn't stand her sometimes—he needed to fly.

**…  
**

About five minutes later he managed to collect himself enough to sit up, having hit a tree. Hard. As much as he hated to admit it, his vision _was_ bad—even worse now  
that his eyes had grown used to clear vision. Before wearing the contacts, he simply hadn't been able to read signs, he'd been okay to drive…and now, he felt blind as a bat.

He sat in the dark, under the tree and tried to suck it in. He knew it was childish to be this upset about having to wear glasses, but he couldn't stand the thought of being  
seen by David and Nori—and the rest of the institute—wearing them, after all the shit he'd made about people with glasses.

And he'd tried them on once. They made him feel dorky.

Julian sniffled in the dark, feeling stupid.

**...  
**

_Thump! _Julian's book bag, on the table, in math. In the back row. He kept his head down, hoping to go unnoticed.

Yeah, right.

"OH MY GOD!" There it was—Nori—breaking into loud, raucous laughter. "I totally get the poetic justice thing now!"

"Shut up, Ashida," Julian hissed, his eyes squinting behind the lenses. "Or I'll make _you_ need them too."

Josh looked over the edge of his seat and winced. "Damn…Keller. Sucks to be you. Does that mean you and David are best friends now?"

David looked equally insulted. "Hardly."

"If you guys can be quiet for two months, they'll be gone," Julian said sharply. "So everyone just shut up. I've got enough on my plate already."

"Old man Keller," Nori whispered.

"That's IT!" Julian swept away the desks in a torrent of energy and flew at Nori; she sucker-punched him at the same time as he clubbed her in the head.

The Classroom door opened at that moment to reveal Ms. Frost.

"_Children," _ she said sternly.

Julian and Nori broke apart, glaring at each other. The former hesitated, then pushed the _things_ farther up his nose.

"She started it, Ms. Frost," Julian said.

"That is totally not true! You all saw it—Keller came at me like some kind of rabid animal!" Nori said loudly.

"I do not care who started it…you are not to fight amongst yourselves in the classrooms. Or anywhere in the school. Or on the grounds." Emma set the stack  
of books she'd been carrying onto the teacher's desk. "We have enough outside adversity _without _internal conflict. Please correct the damage to the classroom,  
Mr. Keller. I will be the substitute teacher for the day, as Dr. McCoy is ill…"

Julian gritted his teeth and returned to his seat, straightening the desks behind him with a thought. They made a loud _screeching_ sound, descriptive of his mood.

_We will trade words later, _Frost said lightly. Letting him know he was in trouble.


	13. 4: f word 3:3 fail day

**A/N: **And another chapter of helix, last in the f-word arc (which was mostly everyday life for the characters). Next comes an interesting, character-building arc...Wintertime

Interesting note: This was inspired by my actual chem lab. We were doing aspirin, and my lab partner wrote down on her sheet that we were making cocaine...the guy working  
with us read it off and started laughing.

Julian's fear of Bunsen burners is a slight exaggeration of my tolerance to them. I hate the fucking things...and how people can be careless around them .

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "f-word" 4 Issue: 3/3 )**

 **Chapter 93: Fail day ****  


* * *

**

"I am most disappointed with the display of earlier," Frost said, looking at Julian sternly. "I had hoped that you had learned that _physical _displays of  
superiority are not recognized at this school. It is never acceptable to hit a person…especially a woman…your peer…and you are a teacher now. And  
a parent to young, impressionable children, I might add."

Julian looked down. "She made fun of me."

"Hardly a worthy reason." Frost leaned back in her chair. "I've been meaning for us to have a good chat for a while now, darling. You've a lot going on…  
and I want to be sure that my idea of your goals and _your _idea are the same."

Julian looked up. _Goals. _

"I'm sure you know by now—have figured out—that I am quite highly expectant that your team will win the opportunity to be New X-men." Frost watched  
him casually. "I'm sure you are also aware that I have _you_ in mind as the leader of this unit. Mantega's leadership skills are…questionable, at best."

Julian made a small noise. He liked Sofia—he wasn't sure _what_ he thought of her nowadays—but he _did_ know that she sucked at leading people. Majorly. All  
she'd done this whole time was fight him, rile the team up about ethics, and turn to David for answers. The majority of leadership had fallen to Julian, Laura  
and David (who _was_ good, he had to admit).

"On this topic…Mr. Keller, I'm aware you are under copious amounts of stress, but I am under pressure to ensure that you can handle it without breaking."

Her expression clearly said _Cyclops _as the source of the pressure.

"Is everything all right at home?" Frost asked suddenly.

"Uh—what?" Julian was startled by this question.

"I mean your family life…particularly, your 'relationship' with Laura." Frost paused, and Julian noted the way she said _relationship._ Like she still found it  
amusing, to some degree. Or fake.

"Yeah, that's great," he said firmly.

Frost smiled. "I would like to remind you that I _am_ a qualified relationships councilor—should you need it. I have helped many people at the mansion."

_Like Summers, _Julian thought unwillingly, having a hard time concealing the fact that he wanted to laugh at the idea.

"No, we're good."

Frost regarded him. "I'm glad. Are the twins well?"

"Yeah." Julian tried to think of something to say; this was starting to remind him of a social service call. Which was odd—he'd always been on good terms with  
Frost. She adored him, and saved the best spot for him on everything; he had clearly been the teacher's pet when it came to the headmistress.

Now she seemed to be displeased about something.

"Good. Have they practiced their disguise?"

"Yeah, we took them out last weekend, and they were really good at it."

"Excellent." Frost smiled slightly.

"Er—I have a class in ten minutes…if that's all…"

"Of course." Frost waved him away. "But—do remember—if you need someone to talk to…my door is always open."

"I will," Julian said, getting up.

**…**

Chemistry.

Today was a lab, so the Shrimps had been dropped off with Angel beforehand. Julian had to hunt for his lab coat and finally found it balled under the  
sofa (with suspicious crayon markings on the edge of one sleeve); Laura had stood by the door, glaring at him and occasionally making a snide comment.

They had rushed into the lab room ten minutes late, gasping for air like drowning fish. Julian wasn't allowed to fly inside the mansion anymore, and their  
chemistry teacher was quite strict with late students.

They needn't have worried, though. The door opened again five minutes after they'd taken seats and struggled to put their labcoats and goggles on.

"Hello, children," Dr. McCoy said, peering in the door. "Ms. Thompson is absent for today. I will be teaching the class today if that is alright with you."

Silence. He pushed the door open and entered, adjusting his glasses. "Now—forgive me, my high-school chemistry is a bit rusty—I've only been dealing with  
Organic molecules for the past seven years or so. Oh, my." He paused, seeing everyone was dressed in labcoats. "A lab? Tsk, tsk, it seems that Jenna wasn't  
quite honest with me…I detest chemistry labs." He reached the desk and riffled through some papers with a grim expression.

"We're doing an aspirin lab," David offered helpfully from the front row, knowing what Dr. McCoy was looking for.

"Splendid," the teacher said, hanging his head. "She left me the lab with corrosive materials…alright, children..."

**…**

"For the love of god, take a turn with this, please! My arm is burning."

Laura raised her eyebrow.

"If I stir that now, then you're _heating_ it," she said quietly. She knew about Julian's irrational fear of Bunsen burners, and that he could barely be in the same room  
with one while it was lit, let alone be relied on to hold a beaker (full of potentially hazardous chemicals) anywhere near it.

"Nevermind." Julian resumed mixing the compound.

Nori grinned over at Laura. _She'd_ told her the story. Julian had had an accident in a lab once, before Laura had come to the school. He'd been horsing around  
with Josh, making fun of Sofia's friends, and his sleeve had caught fire.

After about ten minutes, Laura took the beaker from him and tilted it so the contents poured into a small ceramic container. She weighed it on a scale, then placed  
it into the heating rack. _Then_ she reached beneath the counter, for the burner (kept in a cupboard).

Julian edged away, pale.

Laura plugged the end of the silicon gas tubing into the Bunsen burner, then put her hand on the control knob. She could hear the wheels of her partner's  
rolling chair as they moved.

She picked up the igniter—a wire device with a piece of flint—and squeezed the handle together, producing a spark which shot into the gas-filled air on top  
of the burner and burst into flame. It shot up, bright blue, about a foot high.

"HOLY—" Julian stumbled backwards off his high chair in alarm.

"Oops," Laura said, grinning. She adjusted the handle back to a normal setting, and the flame leveled out. "I swear…the knob's loose or something."

Julian glared at her, aware of his classmates staring at him. Nori stage-whispered quite loudly—something about Keller having yet to grow a pair—to her lab partner, David.

After a moment he sat back in his seat and pretended nothing had happened, trying to nudge his glasses straight when no one was looking.

**...**

"Nicely done, Megan," Dr. McCoy said, initialing data sheets. "Yes, this looks good Victor. I would redo your significant figures though, for your final report. Thank you,  
Sofia, looks perfect…Laura, wonderful job…Julian…"

Dr. McCoy stared at Julian's paper, and the latter instantly knew he should have _looked_ at it first. It had been unobserved—in Laura's presence—for three minutes,  
when Julian had cleaned up instruments.

Silence. Then Dr. McCoy coughed (possibly hiding laughter).

"Mr. Keller…the objective of today's lab was to create aspirin…not cocaine."

"_What?" _ Julian grabbed the paper and stared at it. Laura had—in a fair imitation of his hand writing—rewritten his entire sheet to state  
the procedure and materials for creating synthetic cocaine.

She'd gone on to write that he had tried a sample for quality's sake. Then came a series of images, supposedly depicting what he had seen as a result.

"Sir—this is Laura, I swear…look, I don't draw unicorns on my stuff…"

"Mmm." Dr. McCoy looked amused. "That is highly impressive…the chemical formulas are all correct. However…since you say this isn't yours…please come  
back when you have redone it."

Julian stalked back towards the table where Laura was sitting, writing notes on her own report. He glared at her.

"Thanks, asshole," he hissed.

Nori giggled in the background.

Laura continued to write, but he could see her concealing her own laughter.

"Haha. Yeah, laugh it up. I hate you." He grabbed his pencil and started over on the lab, trying to remember all the formulas  
he'd used the first time (and failing on at least half of them).


	14. 5: wintertime 1:3 hormonal

**A/N: **Response to review (_Laura K. Howlett):_

_**Hank McCoy is a chemist, or more specifically a biochemist.**_

Oh, I know Hank's all good with chemistry. In the story, he mentioned he works with Organic molecules...which is organic chemistry = biochemistry (I just wrote an enormous test on that .)  
When he said 'I detest chemistry labs', he was referring to _student _labs. Mostly because many kids aren't serious and the Xavier Institute has accidents in the chem lab. In my story anyway.  
(Read as 'Julian setting himself on fire' x-D)

_**Sofia: **_Keep reading. I'm playing with several different ideas for this one, but the end result is going to be quite devastating, and a pivotal point in the plot. Without Sofia, the magnitude of what's  
to come wouldn't be half as earth-shaking. ;-)

_**Little moments: **_Glad you like! My favorite part of the stories personally. I love writing Laura...she can do anything and get away with it.  
_  
**Age of Nate and Rae:**_ Physically/developmentally, somewhere around a year or more old...I'd say about a year and a half. They age at 2X normal pace and were born in April. With this chapter,  
you will find it's November in the story. That puts them at a year and four months, fairly close to my original statement. In actual time, 7 months old.

_**Issue 13: **_I hope. It also occurred to me that Elixir may be present...Elixir, who has proven himself capable of healing Legacy. We'll see! If Julian dies, I am by no means going to stop writing fanfics about  
them, screw K&Y ;-)

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "Wintertime" 5: 1/3 )**

 **Chapter 94: hormonal ****  


* * *

**

The first snowfall came early that year, in the beginning of November. By mid-November, everyone was sick of it (including the Shrimps,  
who at first had been fascinated), but it kept on coming.

Laura put down the phone one evening just as Julian entered the house, his nose red, glasses fogged, and his boots clogged with snow.

He wiped his nose with his sleeve and took his jacket off, then stepped into the kitchen and sat down to remove his footwear.

"The mat's there for a reason, asshole," Laura said, wrinkling her nose. She could see puddles already forming on the floor.

"I'll remember that for next time," Julian said, not looking up as he wiped his eyewear. "One more fucking month…"

Laura sucked her tongue. "Sarah invited us all to Seattle for Christmas. Said she'd pay for the tickets and the whole shebang."

He straightened and wrinkled his forehead. "She did? What did you say?"

"I said we'd think about it. God, it's so scary to say 'we', like we share a mind or something. I remember back in the good old day when it was  
just me saying sure, what the fuck, for shits and giggles…"

"I take it you want to go." Julian leaned his head on his shoulder, trying to warm his ears up.

"Mmm." Laura looked at the phone. "I can tell she _really_ wants to meet the Shrimps. You know, now that they can talk and stuff."

Julian coughed. "Have you considered what sitting for ten hours in a confined space with those two would be like?"

Laura bit her lip. "I have."

"And that you hate being at your mother's, and that you'll be a bitch the whole time we're there…and you'll rail me with your horrible childhood stories  
for the next, oh, I don't know, four months…"

"I was only a bitch the last time because I was…what was I? Oh, yeah. Preggos!"

"You weren't just a bitch last time. You were _the_ bitch. The mother of all bitches. The bitch from hell that everyone talks about in hushed tones at the church—"

"Shut the hell up, Keller," Laura said. "I get your point. I'm hardly that irritated now, you know. I haven't bit your head off for a long time."

"That's what you think. Your gauge on this topic is unreliable."

"Pfft." Laura leaned on her elbows on the counter. "Look, I promise, if we go, I won't be bitchy, okay? I kind of miss Sarah—and Aunt Debbie—and—"

"Oh, my god, forget it," Julian said, remembering Megan, his sister-in-law of sorts. "Absolutely _not._ I refuse to go anywhere near your clone!"

"Heh. Clone-of-a-clone. Does that mean she's a clone squared?" Laura stared off into space, probably remembering some event that Julian  
didn't want to ever be privy to. Ever. He shuddered.

"C'mon."

"No. The answer is no. If you're determined, you can go alone…I can watch the Shrimps. Or you can take them. But I'm not going." Julian took off his  
other boot and sent it skittering across the floor.

"EWW!" Laura plugged her nose and ran towards it with a bottle of Febreze, her finger curled on the trigger. She nudged the boot upright with her  
foot and sprayed it frantically as Julian watched.

"It doesn't smell. See?" He picked up the other boot and held it to his nose, then inhaled. Nothing.

Laura dry-gagged. "That is so gross! I should make you keep these things outside, monster!"

"They'd be cold then. And full of snow."

"And not smelling like rotting carcasses!"

"Laura, they do _not_ smell."

She gave the boot another squirt of Febreze—quite viciously—for emphasis, and glared at him, her eye-whites prominent.

"Wow. I keep expecting you to go AWOL and attack me with your horde." Julian was referring to the collection of cleaning supplies she had accumulated. Laura  
hated artificial scents, but apparently anything was better than tolerating _his _smell. "It's next week, isn't it?"

He'd noted Laura's behavior carefully, having observed a spike in her sensitivity to smells about two months after having the Shrimps. He'd been terrified that she  
was having _more,_ and had therefore catalogued the event—and found a pattern. Not only did she get terrible PMS, but all her senses seemed to double in sharpness.  
And her ability to handle them declined. He knew he didn't smell bad because he'd been told many times (by different girls) that they _liked_ how he smelled, including  
Laura (on her more relaxed days).

Julian sometimes wondered to himself if they'd gone too far in the relationship for him to back out. Probably.

"What's next week?" she asked.

"Nothing." Julian shook his head and coughed again. "Don't worry your pretty little head about it."

Laura glared at him, but before she could begin to interrogate him, the living room was split by the loud scream of a little girl. "_**MUMMMMM**_!"

Julian peered over the sofa and saw that Nate was holding Rachel's pink hippo, his miniature claws out, and stabbing it, making the sound effects  
usually reserved for his Lego men when they fought.

"Whoa, whoa!" Laura rounded the corner and swept the boy off his feet by the armpits, holding his small forearms between her index and thumb.

"Put those things back in, _right now,_" Laura ordered.

"No!" Nate waved his fists angrily, scowling. Julian cleared his throat.

"He looks just like Logan right now," he said.

"Oh but he's definitely _yours,_" Laura mumbled as she carried the boy over to the counter and sat him down for a time out. "Nate…I'm not going to see  
you _ever_ touching that Hippo again, understand?"

"But _mum!_"

"Understand?"

"_MUM! _It wassa bad guy! He gonna take stuff!"

Julian suddenly recalled a question Nate had asked him, about a week ago, when he'd been pulling on his uniform and the zipper had got caught. It had taken  
him about ten minutes to unjam, and Nate had sat on the bed and watched him, then asked why he was dressing up like a fireman (now that he'd considered it,  
he could see the resemblance in his team's uniforms to firefighters).

"We're fighting bad guys, Nate," Julian had explained. "Mean people who want to take away all your toys." It was the simplest way to explain to the toddler  
what a 'bad guy' was, and he'd been in a hurry…but now he wondered if maybe he shouldn't have elaborated a bit.

"Oho." Laura _looked_ at Julian. "I wonder where you got _that_ from."

"It's not my fault he always asks _me_ the difficult questions!" Julian hissed. In the past month, he'd had to deal with Shrimp enquiries regarding death (dead squirrel),  
powers, and illness, in addition to this topic. He just _knew_ he'd be the one to give them the grand Talk, later, and that Laura would be conveniently elsewhere.

"Uh huh." Laura gave Nate a stern look. "I don't want to see your claws popping in this house ever again. Got it?"

"But _MUM!_"

"Nate."

The boy looked away.

"NATE!" Again, that strange tone to her voice that made Julian think of a wolf correcting a cub. Nate nodded, his eyes wide and filling with tears.

"Good." Laura patted the boy's head. "Little man, suck it up. God, Keller…_I _have to teach your kids how to be tough because _you're_ not a very good example."

"Mmm." Julian decided he would have to have a little alone time with Nate in which he would explain about the 'magical' monthly event of  
PMS (or, _why your mother sometimes acts like she's about to eat you_).

**…**

"Oh, _SHIT!_" Julian exclaimed as a full-scale sentinel synthesized in the middle of the danger room, along with a crowded street of civilians. The combined  
team of Hellions and New Mutants had fought sentinels, sure—but always at a fraction of the true size. _This_ one was about the size of the statue of liberty.

Frost hadn't been kidding, then.

"We need a plan, guys!" David said, his eyes just as wide.

"Easy—I'll just give it a charge," Nori scoffed. "Big bad sentinel don't scare _me._"

"There is a crowd of people, Nori," Sofia said, looking worried. "Somebody could get hurt if you do that." She shook her head.

"Could you guys _lift_ the Sentinel, so Nori could get them?" David asked. "Between both of you—Sofia, Julian—"

"I don't know. I've never lifted anything that big," Julian said. Sofia looked doubtful as well, covering her mouth with her hand as she frowned. "Could always give it a shot…"

"And what happens when you drop it, like you're going to?" Laura asked sarcastically. "You're going to clean it up? Blood's almost impossible to get out of concrete, believe you me."

The team stared at her for a few moments, disturbed.

"Oh yeah? You have a better idea?" Julian asked, annoyed. "The only real firepower we have here is me and Sof, and Nori. And Sooraya—kind of. No offense." He  
glanced at Dust. "We're not going to do much damage on our own, and the longer we stand here bickering, the greater chance there is that someone is  
going to die for _sure._"

"Get the _people_ out of the way, first," Laura said briskly. "If you guys are so sure you can levitate _Sentinels, _I'm sure moving a crowd of people out of  
harm's way won't be much harder."

"…" Julian folded his arms, wrinkling his nose, but he had nothing to say. The plan made sense, and he was angry that he hadn't thought of it first.

Fucking Laura.

"Fine," he said, after a moment. "Do it, guys."

**…**

"KELLER!" Laura shouted as Julian swerved. The torrent of energy hit the air that he'd been occupying a moment prior, and meeting no resistance it tore  
into the asphalt, sending chunks of rock flying.

He hovered over her for a moment. "I'm alright!" he coughed.

"Not that! I've been trying to catch your attention for the last five minutes!" Laura said fiercely. Half her face was covered in soot, and a good portion of her  
uniform was missing (the middle; the fabric was covered in blood, but the skin beneath it was flawless white, and a little distracting when he thought about it).

"You've got to throw me at it!"

Julian's nose wrinkled. "Are you delusional? I'm not going to throw my _wife_ at a robot the size of Godzilla!"

"Keller, just DO it!" Laura snapped, her hair falling into her eyes. The last explosion had destroyed the elastic holding it back in a ponytail. "Nori's not strong enough!"

Laura was right—Nori's charges had served no other purpose than to irritate the Sentinel. Dust had some effect, causing sparking as she tore through the  
electrical circuits in a whirlwind of sand, but it was still functional.

Even Julian had little success; he'd managed to rip one arm off in a shower of nuts and bolts. He'd tried to concentrate; he'd tried to summon up the enhanced  
powers he'd demonstrated in the past, but it was just so fucking _big. _

Laura saw he was wavering. "Logan does it all the time! It's called a balls special! Or something…I can't remember, but that's not the point! Besides, you do it  
all the time at home when I'm late for—"

"Alright, alright," Julian said, watching the Sentinel whack Jay out of the way and step on Santo, who exploded in a shower of rocks. "You sure?"

"Positive." Laura popped her claws. "Get me in its head."

He made a fist, lifting her off the ground and taking aim.

Then he fired. The second he'd done it, he regretted it, wondering how he would cope if Laura splattered all over the Sentinel's head. _Fuck no._

_**BOOOM! **_

The Sentinel staggered back, a smoking green crater suddenly in its forehead—it had been a good shot—which was surrounded by sparks. Not only that. It was quite  
obvious that something else was happening inside it. The Sentinel began making odd noises, and then began to fall forwards, just as Laura burst out of its rear end  
in a cannonball shape, her claws retracting. She tumbled to the ground and Julian shot towards her, his heart in his throat—she was covered in blood, and healing cuts.

"Laura—"

"Don't…I'll heal…" she said, curled in a ball. A moment later the skin sealed and she sat up, grinning. Her teeth looked very white in contrast to the blood and soot. The  
environment faded around them, and Frost was telling them what a good job they'd done. She sounded very pleased.

Julian didn't care.

"That was the fucking stupidest, god-awful thing _ever_," he said angrily, glaring down at the girl on the ground. He held out his hand.

"Sentinel's down, isn't it? I think you hardly have cause for complaint." She ignored the hand and got to her feet, shaking her head irritably.

"Fuck the Sentinel, Laura! I don't care _who_ wins if—"

The rest of the team was gathering around them, trading uncomfortable glances.

The doors opened, and Frost walked in, all smiles.

"That was wonderful! Risky but effective! And you dealt with the civilians first—a definite plus. Children, I'm quite proud of you. I do believe you are  
going to win this friendly little competition."

Everyone looked enthused, except for Julian, who continued to glare at Laura out of the corner of his eye.

**…**

"We should name it, Keller," Laura said as they reached the woods. They'd been silent up to this point, and she felt the need to make conversation. "Adamantium  
traveling at 300 meters per second is like the coolest thing _ever_."

"LAURA!" Julian stopped in his tracks. "We are never doing that again, end of story. Not even when you're late for class."

"…" Laura stopped too. "Keller…I hate to tell you this, but you're not my _mother_."

"I love you, and I'm not taking petty risks with your life!" Julian shouted, his face contorted. "You think you're smart—Laura—but sometimes you're so  
god-damned stupid—" he choked up.

"…" Laura seemed at a loss for words. He looked away angrily and wiped his eyes with his jacket-sleeve. It started to snow.

"Keller—"

"Shut up. I know, you hate it when I act human," he mumbled.

"I'm sorry," Laura said in a small voice. "I—I didn't realize you felt that way—"

"Of _course_ I feel 'that way'!" he snapped.

Laura was silent for a while. She turned and watched the snow fall against the school. "_I_ did it for you," she said finally. "You're squishy—and—I'm always afraid  
you're going to get hurt for the last t-time." She turned towards him, and he could see her eyes were wet too.

Julian wrapped his arms tightly around her. "Fuck. I think we're in the wrong business," he said into her hair. She nodded against his chest.

No words were spoken for a while after.


	15. 5: wintertime 2:3 winterchild

**A/N: **In response to _Laura K. Howlett:_

**Q: Are you going to touch more on Laura remembering her past "life", with what she had said way, way back about remembering her mom not  
being alive and such? And Julian remembers something too, right? I don't think I'm clear on that part...**  
_A: _For sure, it'll always come up in times of stress. And lots of stress is coming for them. I'm debating one plot that would touch on this quite strongly.  
However, for the overall picture, the '616' universe will not be a major plot component, except for some realizations about how true Jean's words are:  
_**"One way or another, everything happens again. **__**You cannot stop what has occurred, only change the order, and the way  
they happen. All realities move in balance. What you do now will affect this one later.**_" She was basically telling Julian that he fucked up big-time  
by thinking just coz he was Phoenix, he could fix things. Oh noes! You're making me give away plot bunnies ;-)

**  
Q: Is this Nate the Cable that went and picked up Sarah Rachel back when...And this Rachel would be who?...Jean of this timeline maybe? Oh, the many Plot bunnies by dust bunni.**  
_A: _Mwahahah! I've put thought into it. Nate's the same character in one sense--all the characters in my universe are the same characters, just with different events occurring at different times.  
In _that _light, no, this is not the same Cable. He doesn't exist in this timeline because he doesn't need to go back and rescue the Messiah Complex baby. Because Julian screwed with events to make  
Sarah Rachel never exist (thinking he could just fix problems like that), he caused an even bigger problem--the Shrimps--because one way or another they were going to exist. Wait for it, the  
Shrimps are actually a big part of the story plot. Something else is too.

This Rachel is sort of equivalent to Rachel Summers (now Rachel Grey) of the 616 timeline. I always thought it'd be cool if Cable and Marvel Girl were actually closely related. This is why the Shrimps  
have natural body tattoos (explained as camoflauge); 1) they account for Rachel's face pattern that she hides and 2) Daken (Logan's son) has major tattoos in the comics. So I thought...hey, they're  
feral babies. Why _wouldn't_ they have body patterns? Plus it's too cute.

You'll see more on what happened to Jean in the future...and Madelyne Pryor makes a return, but not the way you think.

And...course there's lots of plot bunnies. This is supposed to read like a comic, so I've given myself more plot leeway than in the other stories, to always have _something_ cooking X-D

Oh my goodness! 5 days to X-force #13!! X-D

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "Wintertime" 4 Issue: 2/3 )**

 **Chapter 95: winterchild ****  


* * *

**

"WAKEUP!" Nate screamed, bouncing on the bed and startling both sleeping 'adults' awake. Julian almost fell off the bed.

"Nate," Laura gasped, her hand over her heart. "What the _hell_ ?!"

Nate sucked his thumb and watched them. "Hun-gee," he said after a moment.

"Wait until breakfast," Laura said sternly. She'd glanced at the clock—it was four AM, and it was still dark, the only light in the room coming from the nightlight  
near the Shrimp's cribs. Rachel was watching from her crib, rubbing one eye sleepily. It was quite obvious that this had been the boy's idea.

"Hun-gee _now,_" Nate protested.

"Have fun with that," Julian said, closing his eyes.

"JOO!" Nate said. Then he sat down abruptly on his behind and threw back his head. Then…

"I vote we have you sterilized," Laura grumbled, barely audible amongst the chorus of screaming wails emanating from both Shrimps.

**…**

Julian picked up a wad of envelopes stuffed into his mail slot. Each student had their own box, assigned by room number; his was 113, while Laura's had been 107.  
Recently a sticker had appeared of his mail slot that read "666- the Kellers'. He guessed it was Laura's handiwork, but hadn't commented, only grinning to himself  
that she finally didn't try to pretend nothing had happened between them.

Not that she really could, with the Shrimps being as loud and obnoxious as they were currently.

He riffled through the letters. He hadn't had much mail before—the occasional newsletter, a comic or two (he was a closet nerd), and that was about it. Now he had  
bills of every kind imaginable—phone, cell, hydro, several credit cards, cable, health care, taxes…he hadn't realized so much paperwork would be involved. And there  
was mail for Laura, too, including _her_ visa card that he paid (he prided himself on the fact that he'd never looked at what she used it for). He could just barely cover  
everything from what Frost paid him, so he didn't complain; but he realized they'd be royally screwed if anything ever happened to the mansion (Laura had brought  
this point up once).

They'd had a serious talk about Back-Up plans, possibly brought to mind because of Frost's dark attitude, of late. The headmistress seemed keen on pounding into  
their minds the idea that things were going to get tumultuous.

Unlike the other children in the mansion, _they_ couldn't just 'cope' if everything went south. Laura had proposed that they plan careers, something Julian had never,  
ever considered. He'd thought, for the last five or so years, that he would be an X-man. And before that, his plans had consisted of being heir to a multi billion-dollar  
fortune…and now, he found himself trying to think of something normal, every day—in other words, achievable with _his_ grades.

Julian stopped at a big square envelope that looked like a card. He read the return address—_Sarah Kinney. _It was addressed to Laura. There were several other similar  
envelopes, from unfamiliar names. He decided the were Christmas cards, then finished examining the rest of the mail.

**…**

"This is for you," he said, later, as he dropped the stack of envelopes in front of Laura. "Wish I was _that_ popular, jeez. You got like eighty million things today."

"Huh," Laura said, nudging the letters. She caught sight of her mother's address, then quickly picked up the stack and walked to the bedroom with them, Julian following  
suspiciously. "Those aren't Christmas cards, are they?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Laura tucked the envelopes into her purse. "I'll just look at those later and—"

Julian had a hunch. One of the cards shot to his hand—Sarah's—Laura squealed and jumped over the bed after it, but it was too late; he was already tearing the end of  
the envelope open and tugging the card out.

"GIVE ME THAT!" Laura said, grappling with him and trying to force his hand down. He held it high above her head and worked out the card enough to see the title on the front.

"A-hah!" he said. Laura's arms dropped to her side, as she knew it was useless.

It was a birthday card.

"_When?_" he demanded.

Laura looked away. "No, I'm not telling you. Forget it."

He opened the card and read aloud. "November 21st was possible the best day of my life, although I didn't know it yet. It was the day you were—"

"ALRIGHT! Just shut up!" Laura snapped, her cheeks red.

"What is your damage? Jeez, I just want to be _considerate,_" he said, handing her the card. She snatched it, avoiding his gaze.

"It's not exactly a happy event for me. It's the anniversary of 9 months after I was created in a glass tube as the clone of the world's hairiest man, alright?"

Julian frowned. "That's not what birthdays are about. I thought you knew that…I mean, you even went through the trouble of planning a thing for me."

"That's different." Laura tossed the card on the bed. "My idea of a good birthday involves getting so drunk I can't remember that I exist. And having nobody  
know _why. _End of story. What's for supper?"

Julian rolled his eyes.

**…**

Laura's words stuck in his head throughout the next few days. _Created in a glass tube as a clone. _The tone of her voice had been sarcastic, belittling, as if she didn't  
value her own existence at all. Julian felt an inkling that he had touched on the basis of why Laura sometimes did things he considered odd. Unstable. And, perhaps,  
why she sometimes treated him like shit and didn't trust him with certain matters.

It brought to mind the one time he'd walked in on her cutting herself with her claws, and had asked her to stop it. To do it to his arm instead. He'd never considered  
it further, but maybe she'd considered it an invitation to take out her anger on him—permanently.

He wondered if she still cut.

**…**

"Hear you kids been copyin' Pete and me." Logan, at the end of self-defense, as Julian was about to leave. He took the evening version of that class and skipped  
Mondays and Fridays (the days he worked), while Laura took the morning class, staying home with the Shrimps for the evenings.

"Huh?" Julian blinked.

"Frost let on you guys cooked up your own fastball special thing," Logan said, grinning slightly. "Nice way to treat your wife, Keller."

"That was _Laura's_ idea. I'm never doing it again." Julian said flatly.

"It's a good idea," Logan said. "Probably more effective than what _we_ do…the faster you take something down, the more lives you save."

"Laura got hurt." Julian zipped up his backpack. "Everyone—including her—seems to forget she's only human."

Logan grunted. "She heals."

"Does having a healing factor mean you're supposed to get hurt? Is it like a secondary mutation?" Julian had never argued with Logan before, but he felt quite  
strongly on this topic, since the topic of Laura's self-worth had been bothering him lately.

Logan shrugged. "Why you so fired up about it, kid?"

"I think Laura has some issues with the whole cloning-thing," Julian said stiffly. "I don't know for sure…but I think she's got major self-esteem issues."

'What makes you think that?" Logan's eyes narrowed. He hasn't had much time for Laura lately, having been occupied. With other issues, issues of his own. His life  
had been quite tumultuous lately, but he wasn't ready to open up about them.

Laura seemed to know something was up, so he'd been avoiding her outside of his classes, and acting too busy during them to allow conversation to occur.

"Some shit she said. About her birthday. She said she doesn't care about it, because she's just a clone." He left out the insult to Logan that she'd tacked on to the  
sentence. "I don't think that's a very healthy attitude for her to take."

"Hrumpf." Logan folded his arms. "Thought she was all over that shit."

"I think it's a lot for her to digest. She's only known for, what, a year now? A bit more? Plus, she's a girl." Julian rubbed his neck.

"True," Logan said. "Damn."

They stood in silence for a while.

"Well, the only thing you can do for her is be there if she feels like talkin' about it," Logan said finally. "I've had a lot of experience with women…bit too much, I think,  
sometimes. All women _love_ talking about feelings, regardless of who they are. It's just a matter of how you can get her started."

Julian frowned. Then he had an idea.


	16. 5: wintertime 3:3 come to terms

**A/N: **Just started playing a song that me and my boyfriend played in Iowa, Slipknot's 'Psychosocial'. Dammit, I miss him so much...and we have alot of circumstances against us -.- Life is too hard!

In other notes, I've finished writing the Christmas arc. Those who have liked the floof chapters are going to _love_ it. It's so sappy but at the same time pure Helix, with that awesome vulgar feel to it.

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "Wintertime" 4 Issue: 3/3 )**

 **Chapter 96: come to terms ******

* * *

The cashier looked at Julian like he was crazy, but he didn't feel like explaining why he was buying two bottles of Everclear, along with several other  
different beverages (he knew exactly how much it took to get Laura drunk).

"Do you have photo I.D., sir?" she asked suspiciously.

"Yeah." Julian gave the woman his fake ID. It was the best that money could buy, as he'd obtained it back when he had a billion dollar fortune to his name.

The woman took it, examined it, put it under a black light and scrutinized it very closely, but could not find fault. It was fool-proof. Finally she shrugged and  
gave it back to him, then proceeded to run his purchase through.

"Must be some party," she said playfully as she waited for payment.

"Uh huh." Julian pulled out the cash and slapped it on the counter.

"Am I invited?"

"No." Julian picked up the bags, and a hundred dollars poorer, made his way back to the car.

**…**

November 21st came along—a Friday—and with it a very bad mood for Laura. She practically woke up with a snarl, and _he_ was left to feed and clothe the Shrimps  
as she shuffled around the kitchen, hair in her face as she poured herself a bowl of cereal. Then he took the children over to Angel's, as he would have his class  
to teach in an hour.

Special Ed dragged by, knowing how he'd have to rush to get things ready immediately after. Psyche caused the blackboard to detach from the wall when he wasn't  
expecting it, and he was hit in the head by the frame. He was starting to have an idea of just _why_ she was in this class.

**…**

Five o' clock, and Julian hurried to put things into the Shrimps' bag. Logan had agreed to watch them for the evening, as long as they came with accessories to  
keep them occupied (although Julian knew that man would end up spending most of the night playing with them and listening to their stories).

Six o' clock, and he was back at the house, with groceries, trying to calm himself down enough to try cooking. He was still a little shaky with the skill, and it was  
touch-and-go every time he practiced it. He had a recipe—ingredients—and an hour to make it happen, which he figured would be enough.

**…**

Seven o' clock.

_Stomp stomp stomp…__**BANG! **_

The door flew open, and Laura stood on the threshold, dripping melted snow and glaring. Her breath puffed out in a cloud of frost that looked somewhat  
like smoke (when accompanied with her expression).

She glared at Julian, obviously ready to pick a fight.

"Hi," he said. He was sitting at the table, leaning on his elbows.

Laura was silent. She bent over, unzipped her boots and threw them against the wall. "Keller—" she straightened, alarmed as she registered the silence.

"_Where are the Shrimps?!_ Oh my god—you—" she ran into the house and looked frantically around the living room.

Julian got up and closed the door, locking it. "Relax. They're with Logan."

Laura stiffened. "What? Why?" she asked suspiciously. "Keller—I _told_ you—"

"Sit down and quit stressing out. God. You think I'd be sitting here all calm if those two were on the lam?"

"No." Laura watched him for a second, then sat down and unwrapped her scarf from her neck. "Keller—if this is about my, uh…" she pulled a sour face. "I told you,  
I don't want to do anything, I don't want anyone to know. Can't we just move on and forget about it?"

"Too bad," Julian said, nodding at the kitchen counter. "I already invited your little friends."

Laura looked over his shoulder—and her face brightened, drastically. "This is the best day EVER!" she said in excitement.

"Eat first," he warned her as she leapt up and ran towards the assortment of alcohol (somewhat reminiscent of Nate in the Lego aisle). "Jesus, Laura, you're nothing  
like Logan…you're _way_ worse than he is."

Laura paused with wide eyes, a bottle of Everclear already pressed to her mouth.

**…**

"I wanted to have a little talk with you," Julian said. They were sitting on _their_ roof, looking up at the school in the moonlight.

"It's always…talk with you…" Laura said, shaking her finger at him. "I know what…I mean. I mean you. What?"

Julian leaned his cheek on his hand. "I want to know why you think so little of yourself," he said.

Laura squinted at him. "Little? What's little? Oh, that? HAHAHA!"

"…" Julian made a face. "I know you're not _that_ drunk."

Laura looked away. "Don't want to…talk about it. Let sleeping dogs lie, Keller."

"You're not just a clone, you know."

He'd hit the nail on the head. Laura snapped her head around to look at him, her claws out. "KELLER! I said, shut the hell up! I don't want to talk about this with you, of all people!"

"I'm the one you _should_ be talking to," he said angrily. "The whole clone-thing isn't just going to go away. You tell me, right now."

An expression passed over Laura's face—the same expression from Christmas. When she'd told her mother about the Shrimps. "FINE!!" She yelled, her face  
contorted. "Clones are soulless, godless aberrations made by sick, twisted people with too much time and money! Before I found out I _was_ one, I was against  
it all! I thought clones should be destroyed! And—Logan—of ALL people!" She paused for breath. "Everyone's always 'Logan does this' and 'Logan does that'  
so 'don't you do that too?'! People think I'm just him with girl parts! You have NO IDEA of what it's like to lose seventeen years of self-identity, just like  
that! Down the fucking toilet!"

Julian bit his lip. "Laura—"

"Don't." She looked away again.

"If it helps, I don't think that," he said.

"You called me a clone. Or don't you remember?" Laura examined her hands. "You told me you had to deal with the idea that I was one before you  
approached me. You're just like everyone else."

"Look at it this way…if you had heard I was, oh, say, Summers' clone, before you got to know me, wouldn't you look for similarities too?"

Laura was silent.

"Besides, I can be an asshole sometimes. You should've known me back when I first came here." He grinned.

"What changed for you?" she asked.

"Lots." He reached out and wiped away a smudge of eyeliner running down her cheek where an angry tear had broken free. "Let it go. It's not something to  
beat yourself up over…when you had nothing to do with it."

Laura's eyes filled up and she made an odd noise as she tried to hold her tears back, somewhat like a pig. He raised his eyebrow. "Hot."

"Shut up," she mumbled. She leaned against him, her head on his shoulder, and they sat for a while until she regained control.

"Damn you, Keller…using alcohol against me. That's a sin against God. I'm totally going to tell Logan about this," she said a bit later.

"Whatever makes you feel better," he said, patting her back. "I'm placing my odds on your forgetting it all by tomorrow." He wrinkled his nose, enjoying the  
fact that there were no glasses weighing it down (Laura had given him his contacts last week). "Is there anymore or did you drink it all, you little guzzler?"

Laura held up the first bottle of Everclear, which was about three-quarters gone.

"To the nineteenth anniversary of escape from the test tube," she said.

"If you're the successful experiment, I hate to think what the failed ones were like," Julian teased, taking the bottle.

**…**

" There were…uh, let's see…fourty-two….no, wait…what's fifty minus…twenty-three?" Laura asked, screwing up her face in an expression of  
extreme concentration. "Fifteen…right?"

"Hell if I know…why're you asking me?" Julian was leaning back on the roof, obviously less coordinated than prior.

"You teach…and stuff…" Laura held up a finger. "I don't think you should, you know…screw them up, little blank brains."

"Uh huh." Julian frowned. "Wish I would've…known…when I was…lots of money…I could have…bought all of them…back then…imagine that…"

Laura pulled her knees up to her chest. "I think…one of me's enough. It'd be creepy…right?"

"If you say so!" he said, grinning. "For one thing…I'd always have…one of you who's not pissed at me."

"Screw you."

"Sure." Julian folded his arms behind his head and gave her a smug look. "It's nice…to not have to worry bout the…monsters…I miss the  
freedom…all the crazy shit we did."

"It was…like…six months ago, Keller," Laura pointed out.

"Six months too long!" His eyes widened. "I totally just had the best idea…I've ever had in my life…nonono wait for it…"

Laura perked up. "Wha—huh? Tell me!" She crawled onto his lap, her eyes wide.

"You'll love it…"

**…**

"Oh my—" Hank almost fell off his chair at the deafening _**BOOM **_outside the mansion, accompanied by a big flash of light that momentarily blinded several of the  
eastside monitors. It certainly served better as a wake-up boost than the coffee he'd been consuming.

He ran out of the security room and smack into Scott, who was still dressed in uniform from earlier. His teammate's expression was tense. "Hank! Did you—"

"I didn't get a good look…it was quite sudden, and bright…"

"Oh, _I_ did."

The two men turned as Emma Frost approached them, teacup still in hand, _disgruntled _written all over her face. "It's Hellion, and that darling girl of his. They've  
decided that throwing fiery projectiles off the roof at my car isn't enough for them anymore."

"What do you mean?" Scott asked, startled.

"They've gone for a joyride," Emma said crisply.

"…." Hank peered out the window at the darkness, noting now the slight green tinge to the air, kind of like a comet tail. "This could be bad."

"They're travelling at 300 meters per second while intoxicated, Hank," Emma said grimly. "I think 'bad' may be a wee understatement."

Scuffles down the hall. Logan, carrying one toddler—the boy—with the other scampering behind him. Nate sucked his thumb, watching the adults with interest; as soon  
as the man came to a halt, the girl wrapped her arms around his knee in a bear hug.

"What the hell was that?" Logan snarled. "It was Keller, wasn't it? HE FUCKING FLEW THE COOP AND LEFT ME WITH HIS GODDAMN—"

Nate tugged on Logan's hair, causing him to involuntarily pin his head to his shoulder with a pained expression.

"Calm down, Logan…I'm sure that's not their intention…" Scott said.

"Easy for _you_ to say…here, _you_ take this thing! My arms are killin' me!" Logan unloaded Nate into Scott's grasp. "He can walk perfectly fine but he refuses to!  
I don't know what the hell Laura's teachin' him, but it ain't right…"

**…**

"_**HOL-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!" **_Laura screamed as they narrowly avoided a skyscraper, skimming the window and leaving a rainbow-colored burn  
trail on the glass. "OH MY GOD!" she added, looking back.

"You saw…it totally ran into me…" Julian said.

"Right! Since when do buildings RUN?!" Laura questioned, but her cheeks were pink from exertion. "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere else," he answered.


	17. 6: elsewhere 1:4 wrong side of the road

**A/N:** Open ended X-force! I put my thoughts on my blog and on the comicvine hellion forums under k2. I've updated the helix website...decided to convert it to relate to this series. No new content yet but redid the interface,  
and it looks pretty cool. Going for a family album theme. Found lots of pics to relate to helix (all from comic). I'll continue that theme as I work at it, perhaps creating things from this story (some of the letters, finding  
pictures for scenes, e-mails, msn convos, etc. And of course my own art, when I have time to do that...takes longer).

**This chapter:** Hahaha, I said Christmas! Then...this! This is _**totally**_ something my boyfriend would do while drunk. If, y'know, he had brain powers. Which I'm glad he doesn't.

**

* * *

  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "Elsewhere" 6 Issue: 1/4 )**

 **Chapter 97: wrong side of the road ******

* * *

"Way to treat your woman, Keller. A night in the dumpster for her birthday."

Groaning. "Shut up, Laura…"

Scuffling. Laura sat up and removed some rubbish from her hair. "It's my opinion that your ideas suck…hey, did we _really_ go cow-tipping last night? And there's  
something about a fighter plane…a lot of water…"

"…" Julian rolled over, holding his head and tears seeping out of the corners of his eyes. He was in considerably more pain, having a hangover, plus the ache of  
having overtaxed his powers the evening prior.

"Jesus." Laura puffed out air and heaved herself over the edge of the dumpster; she fell to the ground, failed to catch herself and fell to her knees with a shriek  
as the lid slammed shut behind her, followed by muffled protests. She took a moment to stop wincing from the pain (the wounds had healed but she still felt like  
crap); then she popped her claws and slid them sideways down the side of the bin, causing an unearthly screeching noise.

"GAHH! ASSHOLE!"

"Say that again," she said, retracting her claws, then wiping her mouth (it still had something on it from earlier) and taking stock of her surroundings. _Snff. _

Sea air—harbor—where?

After a few minutes, in which Laura straightened up and tried to decipher where they were from the position of the sun (and also what time it was), the bin lid  
raised again and Julian hauled himself out to his armpits. "That was…" he glared at her, his face contorted in hate. Laura stared for a moment, then grinned.

"You've got a banana peel in your hair, Keller."

"Not making me like you more." He pulled it out and flung it at her (with surprisingly good aim; it slapped her in the face mid-laugh).

"KELLER! Ewwwwwww! Litterbug!" Laura squealed and flung the peel back in the bin. "That was so gross…"

"You're such a girlsometimes," he said, heaving himself over the edge and sitting there as he stared at the ground sullenly. Then he let himself drop, exhaling hard on impact.

"You _can_ fly, you know," Laura pointed out.

Julian coughed and closed his eyes.

She nudged his ribcage with her booted foot. "Are you dying?" she asked nonchalantly.

"Yes."

"Good, I'll use the trash bin as your coffin, then. Do you want a burial at sea?"

"Shut up…Laura."

She grinned cheekily and nudged him a bit harder. "Get up, weakling."

Julian coughed again, then rolled over and vomited on her boot. She gasped and pulled back quickly, shaking her foot. "OH MY GOD! These were EXPENSIVE!"

He wiped his mouth. "Good. I'm…glad."

Laura looked around, then spotted some discarded cardboard and wiped off the mess best she could. "You get one free shot, because of the whole marriage-thing…but  
I swear to god, if you even _think_ of doing that again…"

Julian was silent, his forearms shaking. She finally knelt down beside him and put a hand on his back. "Are you okay? You _really_ look like you're dying."

He didn't answer for a while, then he looked up with constricted pupils. "I'll manage. Where…are we?"

"No idea. At some kind of harbor, by the smell of it." She held her hand out; after a moment he took it and hauled himself to his feet with her help, wobbling for a moment  
before regaining his balance. "Jesus."

"You're getting heavy," Laura commented. "Lay off the carbs, Keller…or should I say Pillsbury doughboy?"

"Look…you had two kids…and I haven't said anything…'coz I was being _nice…_but you definitely have some…lumps…that weren't there before!" he mumbled, annoyed.

Laura gasped. "Those are _curves,_ Keller. Boobs, to be more accurate! Then again you wouldn't know, would you? Having yet to see a real boob."

"Pretty sure I…saw them last night." He rubbed temple. "Gotta get home…need my pills. Can't handle this much longer…"

"Just waiting on you, Helen."

"It's pretty easy to forget why I'm with you!" he snapped.

Laura shrugged. "I'm hot as fuck, I think that's reason enough."

Julian was silent.

**…**

"Do you have a lock on them yet, Emma?"

The headmistress shook her head, concentrating.

"I don't understand how that's possible," Logan grumbled, now holding Rachel, who was asleep in his arms, leaning her small head against his  
chest (both Shrimps found him reassuringly familiar—an acceptable substitute for Laura).

"They may be unconscious. Or out of range. I've always had trouble getting a fix on Laura…and as for Julian…I _should_ be able to find him, but  
nothing is appearing so far…"

"Let her concentrate," Scott advised, smiling at Nate (who was looking around the Cerebra room curiously). "You'll find them eventually. When  
the Cuckoos return we can enlist their help, if you don't. As concerned as I am about them…it's not like the fate of the world hinges on locating  
them at this exact moment, right?"

"Easy for _you_ to say," Logan grumbled.

Emma tilted her head. "Wait…oh my _goodness,_ I've got them. You're not going to believe where they are…"

Logan and Scott stared at her for a moment after she'd told them.

**…**

The couple slowly made their way across some cobbled walkways and past small stores, not encountering anyone (as it was quite early in the  
morning, perhaps five or six AM). Julian had to sit down several times, and lost his balance quite often, leaning on Laura's shoulders for support  
(making her wonder if he was _still_ a little tipsy, which was entirely possible).

"OW!" Laura roared as he actually fell over, grabbing some of her hair on the way down and landing on his behind.

"Sorry," he said, flicking his fingers to release the lock that had been pulled out. She rubbed the back of her head, then helped him up again,  
mumbling to herself, and they continued onwards.

They reached the road, Julian's head still hanging down, and Laura stared at it for a while, blinking in incomprehension.

"Keller…why are the cars on the wrong side of the road?"

His head snapped up.

"You've got to be fucking _kidding_ me," he said.

"I do remember a lot of water."

Silence.

"Holy fuck…_**BAD**_," Julian groaned.

"Yes, you are," she replied, her voice deceivingly calm.

Silence.

"You can just fly us back though, right?"

"That was a one-way trip, Laura. I can't…my head would bust open if I even tried lifting a paperclip right now…"

Laura struggled not to cry with frustration. "You…oh my god…my…"

"I think I'm gonna puke again," he moaned, pushing her away and stumbling towards the alley, back the way they'd come. Laura remained, watching the  
road in silence, her face smudged with dirt, dried blood and vomit, her clothes torn and her hair disheveled and full of various rubbish.

After a few minutes, Julian returned, slightly more steady on his feet and wiping his mouth on his uniform jacket's sleeve. "Look on the bright side…I've  
got my wallet," he said.

"I don't suppose there's my passport in there, too?"

"No." Julian watched the cars with her for a while (eventually they sat down on a sort of guard rail on the side). "That would be too much to ask for."

Laura bit her lip.

"Look at it as your honeymoon?" he tried.

"I'd rather not." Laura did grin though, and he reached over and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. "I'm sorry."

"I will never forgive you for this."

"I know." He rubbed her arm. "Well…I guess we could stand to get cleaned up, hey? Got to be a hotel somewhere…"

"You are totally taking me shopping, on _your_ card," Laura said sharply. "I don't even want to know what's on these clothes, but my skin is crawling.  
And that's _with_ my healing factor."

"Deal." He grimaced. "So do you think we're in…uh…England…or…Australia?"

"Who knows?! It was _a lot_ of water!"

**…**

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Logan snarled. "ENGLAND?!"

"Bristol, to be precise. Julian's just woken up, in a trash bin." Emma Frost wrinkled her delicate, twenty-thousand dollar nose. "He has a dreadful headache,  
although I can't say it's undeserved."

"Send them a message—" Scott began.

"Wait. Don't." Logan held up his hands. "We're gonna let 'em sweat it out for a bit…they _really_ deserve it this time."

**…**

"Oh my god! I almost busted a nut laughing at their accents!" Laura giggled, that unearthly, frightening noise that made Julian's hackles stand straight up.

"You don't _have_ nuts," he pointed out. They were walking down the street towards the hotel, the map in Laura's hands, the bags in his. They'd had a time explaining  
to the shopkeepers why they looked like they'd narrowly survived an airplane wreck. "Why does every store in this fricken' place have to be a boutique?!" he grumbled,  
remembering how the clerk had reached for the phone, planning to call the police.

"For that matter, why are we _here _in the first place?" Laura reminded him.

"Yeah, yeah."

They rounded a corner as they were talking, then stopped. "Where are we?"

"Umm…" Laura scrunched her nose and studied the map. "Here! Ooops!" She pointed too enthusiastically at a place on the map and her finger tore through it with a  
loud noise. Julian sighed. "Give it to me, asshole."

"No!" Laura clutched the map against her chest. "It's mine. It was your birthday present to me."

"Whatever. If you can figure out where we are without destroying the damn thing, I'm happy." He rubbed his head; it was still killing him, and he really didn't feel like  
studying fine print right now. Thank god his contacts had stayed in his eyes (which also meant that, somehow, he'd been flying with his eyes closed).

Laura pressed up the torn piece and scrutinized it carefully. "We go right, then left. Then two more rights…another left…and there's a three-and-a-half star  
hotel. Hopefully they have plumbing here."

"I'm pretty sure England had plumbing way before the States, Laura."

"Well why would I know that! It's not like I _planned_ to come here!"

"Touché."

**…**

The hotel clerk looked at Julian warily, even with the credit card on the counter, the slap of the plastic still echoing. "Sir…we don't allow ruffians in our  
establishment," the man said after a moment.

"We're not." Julian shifted. "I teach at a school, and this is my wife. We're here on holidays and we got jumped in the alley. Stole our suitcases and everything."

"They took my purse, our passports…everything," Laura said, looking authentically distressed. A fabricated tear. They had gone over their routine very  
carefully before entering the lobby.

"Oh, my," the man said, seeming to relax slightly, noting that they _did _have foreign accents. "Well… I suppose we can book you a room…please do try to  
clean up…we have standards here. I suppose you'll want the number to the embassy? And the police…"

"We'll come back for all that," Laura said. "I need to clean up a bit first."

Julian closed his eyes and nodded.

The man raised his eyebrows but continued with the reservation process.

**…**

"What now?" Laura asked, spread-eagle on the bed, in a fluffy bathrobe, her skin scrubbed until it was pink and tingling.

Julian rubbed his hair with the towel. "We wait for the X-men?"

"Sounds like a plan."


	18. 6: elswhere 2:4 a long way from home

**A/N: **Grr, I had this all formatted, went to hit save, and it logged me out. So, in short:

**General note: **I think 'Snuff' by Slipknot describes some of the stuff coming for Helix ;-) Also, I posted two new drawings to my blog, to  
be on the website soon. They are also on comicvine under Hellion and X-23 galleries, fanart, user k2.

**zackslacker-** I'm still going to work on Cowpie (I have the plot idea for it), but don't have much time at the moment, plus I'm excited  
about the Helix plot. Also, I've seen you on comicvine too. I was like _HEYY I KNOW THAT PERSON!!_ =)

**Laura K. Howlett: **Hmm, should I confirm or deny? Or tell you to keep reading? Keep reading, but I'll hint that you won't be unhappy ;-)  
Yes, I love that scene too, I totally pictured it when I wrote it. And I was happy with the Crain pics too, they look like they're made for  
it. My fave is the pic of Julian passed out with the drink...I saw it and I was like HAHAHHA yessssssss!

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "Elsewhere" 5 Issue: 2/4 )**

 **Chapter 98: a long way home ****  


* * *

**

Julian hung up, frustrated. "Nothing."

"They must be on a mission," Laura said. She sucked her tongue. "I hope Logan has sense enough to take the Shrimps to Angel's if he's got to go somewhere."

"Probably."

They hung their heads as they walked away from the phone booth, both overcome with guilt and worry.

"The Shrimps must miss us," Laura said, her voice making it clear that she missed _them_ more. "I wonder if they gave Logan trouble about bedtime. Do you think  
he knows that Nate is the prawn and Rae is the hippo?" Both Shrimps had selected favorite toys that they refused to sleep without.

"I told him." Julian rubbed his neck. "Fuck…this really isn't good."

"Are you sure you can't fly us back?"

Julian was silent for a moment, playing with his car keys (which were also in his pocket). "I could try…but are you prepared for a long swim if I pass out in the air?"

"Not really."

"Didn't think so." They made their way down the street and headed towards a pub without pausing to ask each other if they were hungry.

"Wait a minute—I've got it!" Laura said, excited. "What if we get you plastered again and _then_ you fly us back?!"

Julian rolled his eyes. "Laura…that is the stupidest idea I've ever heard, even dumber than the one that got us in this mess in the first place. Forget that, right now.  
If I can't do it sober, then I'm definitely not going to do it _drunk._"

"Such a negative attitude," Laura mumbled, entering the pub as he held the door open for her.

**…**

Later that evening, in the hotel, the pair tried to relax and not let on to each other how worried they actually were about their situation. They were trapped, in a  
foreign country, without passports and with a limited supply of money; and their only chance at getting home wasn't answering.

"It'll all turn out," Julian said, one arm behind his head, his other hand holding the remote and flipping through channels on the TV. "Want to order porn?"

"I'm good, thanks," Laura said, wrinkling her nose. "I think we should be conserving our money right now. Besides the fact that it's disgusting."

"Woah, woah," Julian said, sitting up. "Porn's disgusting?"

Laura sneered at him. "Yes."

"Then what the hell was that stack of magazines you had in your stuff? Playgirl—and your computer was loaded! You had them on favorites, and saved to hard drive!  
Your _desktop _is a—"

"Wha—you went through my shit!" Laura blurted, then flushed, realizing she'd just admitted to having it. "Okay, fine, it's not disgusting. I'm just not okay with _you_ watching it."

"Wow, thanks. I see how that's fair. You are _so_ hypocritical sometimes, Laura…"

"So are you."

Julian sighed and turned off the TV. "I _was _joking, but whatever. I don't want to fight right now, so I'm going to let it slide. My head is still killing me. I'm going to take a  
shower." He tossed the remote on the bed and headed for the washroom, trying to ignore how irritated Laura made him sometimes.

A few minutes later he wiped the glass on the shower door, soap in his hair, and met Laura's eyes as she was trying to peer in. "You don't have to be a perv,  
you know…you can just come in," he said loudly.

"I thought you were mad at me," she said in a defensive tone, slightly embarrassed.

He pushed open the shower door. "I was, but it's hard to stay mad at a cute girl who's creeping me." He grinned. "Besides…I thought you were mad at _me._"

"I was." Laura considered him. "When you said 'shower', I remembered that we haven't had one together in like almost a year."

They watched each other for a second, then Laura pounced, sending them sprawling against the wall. "HOLY—" he yelled, but she kissed him hard.

**…**

"Should we, uh, stowaway?" Julian suggested, at breakfast the next morning, his aching head still in his hands.

Laura stared at him, the straw of the orange juice still in her mouth.

"I mean, like…since neither of us are telepaths…"

"Keller, all we have to do is _find_ one," she said, removing the straw. "Or get some fake documentation."

"That's dangerous, Laura," he hissed.

"No more dangerous than your ID," she pointed out, her eyebrows arched. "Think I didn't know about that?"

"I knew it. You go through my wallet, don't you?"

Laura grinned, showing her teeth. "Just when I feel like it. Don't worry, I have a couple too…"

Julian exhaled in a sigh. "We couldn't afford it."

"We could always do favors," Laura pointed out. "That's what I did for mine. NO, NOT THAT KIND, jeez. I mean…I roughed a few people up for the guy…he was having trouble."

Julian raised his eyebrow. "You hired yourself out as a thug?"

"Just when I felt like it," Laura answered again in the same nonchalant tone. "We could get us some good passports and get the hell out of here. Not before we see  
London though…the England flight is like a couple grand, and I'm not about to leave without seeing Westminster Abbey."

Julian covered his eyes. "Laura, this is not a—"

"I felt ripped off after you reminded me I didn't even get a honeymoon, asshole. And I'm still waiting on the ring. Least you can do is let me spend five minutes looking  
around a place I've wanted to see my whole life."

"But the Shrimps—"

"They're with Logan," Laura said seriously. "I'd be going AWOL if they were with someone else…but, Keller, they're with, well, the person I was copied from. That  
ought to be enough to take care of them, right?"

"Ought to," Julian said apprehensively.

**…**

Logan stared at the two mischievous tots, sitting across from him at the lunch table. He'd propped both up with cushions so their chins just cleared the tabletop.

"Brrrrpt," Nate said, blowing raspberries.

"Cut that out," Logan growled. It was day two of his involuntary babysitting duties, and he was _tired. _He'd had to keep the kids distracted so they wouldn't notice  
their parents had scrammed; they wouldn't just understand a simple explanation and a 'suck it up, princess'. They would cry, loudly, and make their displeasure  
known. And probably tantrum, too, with destruction.

Logan didn't _want_ to see them distressed, either, as much as he hated to admit it. He felt closely connected to the two miniature beings that shared his DNA. And, in  
a way, he realized these might have been his and Jean's children, had she chosen him. Since Madelyne Pryor was Jean Grey's clone.

"Effin' clones," he hissed.

Nate examined his fork carefully, fingered it, then crammed a large spoonful of mashed potatoes into his mouth and began to force it down, blinking hard. The kid ate  
like a frog, not really _chewing_ his food. It was so damn weird. Logan shook his head and spooned some apple sauce onto the boy's plate.

"Abble!" Rachel squeaked, excited.

"Yeah, apple," Logan said. He gave the girl some next, his disgruntled expression softening a little. They _were_ cute, for all the trouble they'd caused him so far. He'd give them that.

Both twins suddenly stopped, sniffing the air; Logan did the same and turned his head along with them to see Cyke approaching.

"Ibble!" The Shrimps said. They had named Scott this, for some reason; Logan had finally figured out that they meant _eyeball, _and had probably picked it up from his  
calling the X-men's leader One-Eye.

Scott grinned at them for a moment, then turned to Logan. "We got trouble. Nick Fury's on our tail now about the runaways. Apparently there was a little confrontation  
with a top-secret jet in stealth mode…"

"Cripes." Logan looked frustrated. "I've got half a mind to _never_ go pick 'em up…but that'd mean I'd be stuck with _these._"

Scott sat down at a free spot down the table. Nate and Rachel examined him warily (the former still with his spoon sticking out of his mouth).

"It's partially my fault. I'm overloading the students a bit, I think…I let all of Emma's 'dark times are at our door' talks get to me, and, well, I…I hate to think of the kids not  
being ready." Scott looked down. "I mean, look at these ones, for example—they're so defenseless, so—"

Nate bit down on the spoon hard, making a small growling noise.

"Kid—no, stop it!" Logan leaned over the table and began to wrestle the spoon out of the boy's mouth frantically. "What the hell is _wrong_ with this child?!"

The Shrimps broke out into giggles (pure evil).

"God," Logan said, finally retrieving the spoon by pinching Nate's nostrils closed until he opened his mouth for air. "I ain't never seen anything like it, Slim. The girl's  
not bad…but the boy…I turned the corner to flip the light switch, and in about ten seconds he found my smokes drawer, opened a carton, and started _chewing_ on  
them. He was already through three by the time I caught him."

Scott refrained from commenting that the boy seemed to be emulating Logan.

"Effin' kids…leave me with all the work while _they_ sprint off and have fun…"

**…**

Julian had just woken up, in the middle of the night, and the migraine was stronger than the evening before. _Throb, throb, throb—_the same pattern, over and  
over again, like a clock ticking directly in his ear. Bringing a wave of nausea with every pulse. "GRR!" he exclaimed, flinging the bottle of Tylenol across the room in frustration.

"WHUTZZIT?!" Laura gasped, awaking to the noise and scrambling into a sitting position, her claws sliding out automatically. _Shrrrnip, _the sound of tearing fabric.

Julian closed his eyes, sitting on the edge of the bed and holding his head in his hands. He'd only gotten a headache this bad after he'd flown to Mexico after Laura—after  
being shot in the head—and by the time he'd run out of adrenaline, he'd had access to morphine in amounts large enough to eliminate it.

"Oops." Laura peered under the covers and winced. "Keller…we may or may not have to flip the mattress before we leave…do you think you could a bit less aggressive  
with waking me up next time? Like a kiss on the—"

Julian fell off the edge of the bed, holding his head and make conspicuous noises.

"NOT ON THE CARPET!" Laura shrieked, bounding after him. She hauled him up roughly by his armpits and half-dragged him to the tiled bathroom; she barely managed to  
get him to the bathtub in time. He flung his arms over the edge and Laura watched, her nose twitching in agitation.

"Jesus…Keller…is that _blood?_" She peered over his shoulder. "And—ewww—what the hell is _that?" _

Julian grimaced. "I think…I get that…space-thing…you were worried about…now…" he coughed and went into another set of convulsions.

"Pssht." Laura placed her hand on his back, feeling bad. "This is…uh, awkward. Your hair is too short for me to hold…should I keep talking? I know, I can recount  
to you _my_ top ten pukes—"

"Mmmph." Julian wiped his mouth weakly and leaned over the edge of the tub, holding his head again and trying to concentrate on breathing.

Laura thought for a second, then leaned over and turned the shower on.

"ARRGH!" he yelled.

"Shut up. I know how to fix this," she said, in a tone she might use on the Shrimps.

**…**

"Laura…fuck…I don't want you…coming _near _me…with those things…" Julian was sitting on the loveseat, gritting his teeth against the pain, his arms  
face-up on the rests while Laura approached him with a flask of whiskey, a lit candle and a box of bobby pins, her eyes glinting in the darkness. She'd  
gone out for about ten minutes, and had returned with several small paper bags, declaring 'we're fixing this _now_'.

"I don't care what you want," she said, setting the candle and the bottle of whiskey down. She opened the flask and set the cap aside. "You're not  
going to be any use at all like you are."

Julian tried to unclamp his jaw to respond, but was finding it more and more difficult. He was dying, of a headache. What a way to go.

Laura opened the box of pins and selected one. She made a fist with her other hand, popped a claw; then spent a moment aligning it to the pin. He realized  
she was shaving it to be thinner. She repeated the process about ten times, then retracted her claw and held the pin to the flame until it was red hot.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," he said.

Laura held the pin in the air. "Trust me."

"Yeah right."

She raised her eyebrow, then picked up the whiskey flask and held it out to him.

"I don't want any."

The flask remained; he finally accepted it and took a sip. It burned going down—she took the flask back, then tipped it over his left hand, dribbling fluid down the  
web in between his thumb and forefinger. His eyes widened. "LAURA—"

"Relax, Keller." She knelt by his knees, concentrating, and bringing the pin closer. Julian shut his eyes and contorted his face like he was being tortured.

"Oh, my god…you're not going to feel any better if you do _that,_" she hissed, slapping his knee.

"It's hard! You're coming at me with a flaming needle!" Julian snapped.

"It's not technically on fire. You need to trust me…this will fix it. Just close your eyes and let it happen."

_Close your eyes and let it happen. _Julian tried to relax, closing his eyes and exhaling hard. "Okay, tell me when."

"It's already in."

"JESUS!" He opened his eyes and stared at his hand, which now had a pin sticking out of the web between the fingers. Automatically he tried to move it; Laura  
held it still firmly. "Don't be an idiot. It's not even hurting."

He stopped; she was right. It didn't hurt—it actually felt pleasant, a cool, tingling sensation. He relaxed slightly and let her work, twitching slightly at the second pin,  
but not jerking away. Eventually he had one between each finger, and she reached for the other hand.

"How's your headache?" she asked suddenly. She'd been working in silence for about twenty minutes, adding and removing pins until all of them were gone, and  
the sudden speech startled him.

"Still there. Less." It was true; it was no longer an unbearable pounding, but a more tolerable affliction, like it had been earlier that evening.

Laura brushed her hair behind her ear. "I know what will do it. Bit more extreme, but…" a claw slid out, and Julian's eyes widened again. "W-what?"

"Remember that time you caught me?" she asked, holding the claw out towards the flame. Through the flame. "I did a little cutting on your arm. Bet you felt great  
for a bit after, didn't you?"

"Why are you heating it up?" he asked, nervous again.

"I should've done it then too…but I didn't care about whether you lived or died back then," she teased. She rose to her feet, then slipped her knees on either side  
of his torso, effectively straddling him as she reached for his arm and held it out, slightly to the side. "Ready?"

Julian closed his eyes. He mused that it answered his questions about her cutting being a ritual, a habit. She was really good at it—the claw tip barely scratched  
through his skin, sinking slightly deeper on minute pressure points, without cutting into blood—he felt himself get light headed, and then the headache was gone,  
like it had never happened in the first place.

"Better?" she asked.

He nodded slightly, open his eyes and staring at the skin on his wrists. It was covered in a light criss-cross pattern of blood; not as much as the first time she'd cut him,  
but with the same precision. He was amazed that small wounds in the right place could _feel_ good.

"Where did you learn to do that?" he asked.

"Picked it up along the way, I guess," Laura said, retracting her claws. "Learned the acupuncture stuff from an old Chinese guy in a hang-out Megan and me used to  
frequent. I did some favors for him."

Julian, no longer distracted by the raging migraine, had just become acutely aware of the fact that she was sitting on his lap, and he ran his hands down her sides  
appreciatively. She paused, then reciprocated, trailing her fingers down his jaw.

"This was going to be my second suggestion," she murmured.


	19. 6: ew 3:4 the devil & the advocate

**A/N: **Yes, yes...the other series. I've given myself the night off school (after all...tomorrow's another day! been waiting to say that since I accidentally saw part of _  
Gone with the Wind_). I starting tonight's write-a-thon with updates for all the stories that I have updates for. This will definitely include mOBSCENE and Snff II, and  
will most probably include Cowpie II (have to check, I think I have another chapter ready to be posted).

I wince to say it...but yes, I'm working on another story as well (I finished the whole House of M story I was doing before--you'll see it in time ;) The one I'm working  
on is untitled, but told in the style of Snff II. It's drama, and tells about an alternate future, where the X-men never exsist and mutants are sent to internment  
camps. It's Helix (no duh).

Comic note: I _loved_ the scene in Messiah War #1 where Laura kneels and draws an X on the ground. Her expression...oh it made me love Mike Choi's art again  
(I was preferring Crain for a bit there). I could totally feel the scene, she's devastated by what's happened to her friends--especially Julian--but she bottles down  
her feelings like she always does. She has to complete the mission. But she's determined that she will come back and save them, when she's done. I dunno why,  
that one part is like my favorite Laura moment lately...that and when she and Hope look at each other. Their expressions are so good. I kind of got the sense she  
identifies with Hope a bit, being a _thing _that everyone expects to do something for them, and being subjected to violence and trauma over and over again.

Just my three cents. That's right, I have one more cent than you and you're going to like it, bitch! That's totally what I'd tell Bryan if he was around at the moment.

* * *

**  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "Elsewhere" 6 Issue: 3/4 )**

 **Chapter 99: the devil and the advocate ******

* * *

"Let me put it this way—way I hear it, you need some friendlies to watch your back…and we need some papers," Laura said, leaning over  
the desk so the weasely-looking man could see down her shirt. Julian folded his arms, but remained quiet, having learned this was part of  
her negotiations process. It was something he was still getting used to—Laura's attitude towards boundaries—but he'd slowly begun to  
understand she operated mostly on _look, don't touch._ Except of course in the unfair case of Sofia.

"HAHAHA!" The man cackled in abrupt laughter, startling Julian out of his thoughts (he jumped slightly). "A little bint like _you_? Protect _me?_  
I'm sorry, cupcake, but that's stuff for the fairytales. Does make for a wonderful laugh, though…I don't do business wi' foreigners to boot,  
so you're shit out of luck."

Laura popped her claws. They slid to a stop right under the man's nose, almost piercing the skin. "I heard something about a bint, fairytales,  
and a piece of lucky shit. Did you write a story about yourself?"

"J-jesus!" the man said. "You're one of them god-damn aberrations!"

"Born and bred," Julian commented dryly.

"Not to get nasty, 'coz I'd _hate_ to do that…but are you going to help us out, or am I going to have to remove a few digits first? I could just cut  
the ring finger off and then I'd have a nice valuable item to bargain with." She was referring to the rather elaborate ring on the hand under her  
claw, which had poised, ready to cut.

"I don't do business wi' foreigners!" the man said, gritting his teeth. "'Specially not monsters like you, whore!"

"Maybe I'll take the tongue out first. Works better to prevent cussing than washing it with soap, I find." Laura's eyes narrowed. "I should let you  
know _now_ that I'm a hundred per-fucking-cent serious. I will mince you up without a second thought if you don't get cracking on those passports."

"Hey—let's cool it down," Julian said, touching her shoulder. All as planned, too.

"Back off. I've got this," she snapped, glancing at him and letting her claw just slice through the man's nostril.

"AHHHH!"

"Oops. Heh. Want me to do the other side so it's even?"

"Get the hell out!" the man shouted, bolting to his feet. "There's no business for you here, no matter what you threaten me with! Kingmaker  
closed up shop for me bout two weeks ago when I failed to pay a debt in time!"

"Ohh, a name," Laura said gleefully. "I'm guessing _he_ can set us up."

"_**OUT!!!!" **_

"Jeez, okay. It was like barely a papercut…wait, first let's see…how do we contact our new friend?"

**…  
**

"Kingmaker," Laura said thoughtfully. "I like the sound of that. Think he could make us rich?"

"It'd take a lot more than a guy with a fancy name for _that,_" Julian said. "Those Shrimps are like a black hole for  
money." He paused. "Laura—I just want to make _sure_ you know that I think this idea is pure bullshit, right?"

"You mean, just in case I missed all the whining? You put Nate to shame, my god. Be happy I decided to skip the whole circle thing."

"The stupid magical shit?" Julian folded his arms, sitting in the chair across from the bed where Laura sat.

"Hey! You watch what you call shit, Keller! Nothing gets my blood pumping like a good satanic ritual!" Laura had the phone  
in her hands. "I like to skin the cats."

"That explains so much," Julian said, his nose wrinkling.

Laura dialed the number into the phone and pressed the connect button.

_Ring, ring._ The phone was on loudspeaker. "You have attempted to contact the Kingmaker. Please speak your name."

Julian looked at Laura expectantly. Having told her very clearly that he didn't want his name involved in whatever the hell this was, and that meant hers too.

"Oh, fuck, you mean this _isn't_ the number for Domino's pizza?!" Laura blurted, trying to think up a fake name, and  
failing. "Uh, um, okay…Angelina Jolie…and Brad Pitt?"

_Click, _the phone disconnecting. Julian rolled his eyes. "That had to be the worst improv I've heard in my life."

"Give me a break," Laura grumbled. "At least I picked _hot_ actors!"

"Right. That's such a relief."

"They might have a nice surprise tomorrow, if this guy's for real," she said, grinning. "Serves them right…I hated that movie they were in together."

"You are so weird," Julian sighed.

**…  
**

_Knock knock. _

"Laura…getthedoor…" Julian moaned into the pillow, still dreaming. He was dreaming that Logan was at the door, with suitcases,  
dressed as a nanny and declaring that he would be taking care of the Shrimps from now on. And that he (Julian) was delighted.

_Boot! _He woke up to the sharp jab to his legs from a disgruntled Laura. He rolled his eyes, thought something very nasty about her,  
then scrambled out of the hotel bed and headed for the door, scratching his messed up hair. He ripped the door open, in a bad  
mood now—they'd _put _the 'do not disturb' sign up.

"WHAT?" he snarled.

" You called. I am the Kingmaker." A big man in an immaculate business suit was standing in the hallway. With a suitcase. And dark sunglasses.

"I know that you are Julian Keller. And that _you_ are Laura Keller, _née_ Kinney. Despite your attempts to trick me."

Laura was sitting up in bed, awake now that she'd heard the word 'Kingmaker'.

"You and your partner are each granted one wish. Whatever your heart's desire. So choose now. The clock is ticking."

"Uhh…" Julian blinked in confusion. "Wish? Wha—"

"Oh my god! Seriously?" Laura looked excited, bouncing off the bed. "I wish I'd never had kids! No, wait—make it so I wasn't a clone! No, _  
wait—_do that thing in the Superman movies where he spins the world so fast that time goes backwards—"

"I said _one,_" the Kingmaker said, his nose wrinkling.

**…  
**

"Really, we just want passports," Julian said. They had showered, and were now sitting across from the Kingmaker  
at a café table. "And plane tickets to the States."

"That can be arranged. Are you certain that's your _wish_, though?" the man asked.

"We didn't talk about anything else, no," Julian said.

"We don't _want_ anything a wish, either," Laura said firmly. "We're willing to do you a favor—one favor—in exchange for a set of passports and tickets  
that will get us back to the States. This favor is not going to involve anything that gets blood on our hands. If you can agree to that, then I think  
we're in agreement."

The Kingmaker smiled. He had a very suave smile.

"I can grant you anything your heart desires. This is a once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity, Laura. I think you ought to reconsider."

"I highly doubt you can grant me what _my_ heart desires," Laura said. "That Keller wasn't so damn unlucky. He's a walking calamity."

Julian glared at her.

"Everyone wants _something,_" Kingmaker said persuasively. "Fame. Fortune. Family. I can _give _you all that, and more."

"HAHAHA!" Laura threw back her head. "Please! I already have more _family _than I can handle! We put the diss in dysfunctional."

"Isn't it supposed to be 'fun'?" Julian asked.

"That too. I wish it was. Things are always better when they're _fun._"

Kingmaker smiled. "Maybe you'd like to reclaim what you lost, Mr. Keller?" he said, his query directed to Julian.

"I mean your disownment, of course."

Julian froze. "How do you—"

"I know _everything._" The Kingmaker's sunglasses reflected their images to them; Laura barely stopped herself from examining her makeup.

"Just our request," Laura repeated firmly.

**…  
**

They left the café, walking slowly, hands in their pockets. Julian studied the ground quietly, frowning.

"You want to take him up on his offer," Laura observed. "Don't even _consider_ it, Keller…men like him are all the same. Everybody  
wants _something, _like he said."

"I know." Julian stopped. "But—I mean, we're already doing him a favor for the passports—why can't we just do another? As long as  
we don't have to kill anyone, right? How would it be so bad?"

"Because favors like he wants last a lifetime," Laura said, her voice low. "He'll never let you go if you do _anything _with him."

"I could specify it's to be just one favor." Julian frowned. "Laura—don't you want the Shrimps to be _safe?" _

"Not this way, no." Laura put her hand on his shoulder. "We'll be okay with what we've got…each other. We don't need all that, right?"

"Right," Julian said, not sounding convinced.

**…  
**

"Okay, so I wish I was my family's heir again," Julian said, a bit later. Sans Laura. "I'm not doing _anything_ for you till I get my wish. And I'll  
only do _one _favor, in exchange." He grimaced. "I really don't feel great about this."

Kingmaker smiled. "Your terms are agreeable."

"Don't do it till I'm back in the States, though," Julian said, worried.

"Give Laura time to forget. She'll never let me hear the end of this if she finds out…"


	20. 6: elsewhere 4:4 home again

**A/N: **Chapter 100 of helix, omg! And...it's not a big one :P You'll get your wish shortly, Ms. Laura K. Howlett. Patience, patience, tsk tsk, hehe! And their Christmas...it r awesome!

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "Elsewhere" 6 Issue: 4/4 )**

 **Chapter 100: home again ******

* * *

"_Keller,_" Laura murmured, her eyes wide.

Julian didn't respond, keeping his eyes shut and feigning sleep. He was feeling quite at ease. The constant hum of the airplane had made him  
drowsy; that, and this was the last few hours of peace he would obtain, seeing as he was heading home to the Shrimps.

"Ow!" He exhaled hard as an elbow jabbed itself into his ribs. The people across the aisle glanced in their direction curiously.

"What the hell d'you want?" he whispered angrily.

"Get up. I need to pee."

"For the love of god. This is like the third time in fifteen minutes."

"You're totally exaggerating. And that's why I don't drink caffeine, it makes me pee like crazy. Get up, asshole."

"Make me."

Laura glared at him, then actually got out of her seat and began to clamber over him (like some kind of rabid animal, he thought). "LAURA—"

"Is there a problem?" The flight attendant was now present. Laura stopped, still on his lap with her hand pushing his face away, and she looked up  
into the attendant's heavily made-up eyes.

"We thought we'd join the mile high club," Laura said loudly, before he could stop her. "Only problem is, he's into BDSM, especially the discipline part.  
You look like an expert—how much should I charge him?"

"…"

**…**

"Seriously, can you _never_ do that again?" Julian whispered, as they hurried down the slight slope to the gateway. "Like never, ever? That was the most  
awkward flight I've ever experienced. They almost handcuffed me."

"You learned a valuable lesson: never come between me and the restroom," Laura said calmly. "I'm sure you'll remember it."

Julian was quiet as they went through security, annoyed with himself that he wanted to _laugh._ The expression on the attendant's face had been priceless.

"Can Captain Anemic carry us the last bit to the school, or is he still pretending his brain's broken?" Laura asked, about half an hour later as they exited the  
airport and made their way into the parking lot.

"Shut up. We're not breaking any more rules." Julian knew he was going to have enough trouble explaining a sonic international flight to Frost and Summers  
without adding _more_. It was strictly against the Xavier Institute Code to cause exuberant displays of powers off school grounds; in other words, joy-riding  
was a no-no. He wasn't even sure that term could completely describe the experience.

He raised his hand for a cab, hoping that the Kingmaker was for real. He'd just about sucked every dollar out of his bank account with this mistake, as  
well as maxed out his credit cards.

**…**

When they reached the mansion, Frost was waiting at the door, her arms folded.

"I hope you enjoyed your little impromptu vacation," she said coldly to Julian.

He winced.

"This was _her_ idea, wasn't it?" Emma stared hard at Laura. "Yes, I'm quite sure it was. What a terrible influence she is…abandoning two young children to—"

"Those _children_ is why we're back," Laura interrupted. "Where are they? If you don't answer 'with Logan', you better hope that diamond holds up against  
adamantium, coz I swear to god—"

"That is entirely out of line. Apologize." Emma's eyes flashed.

"No."

"I have held my tongue until this moment, but no longer. I ought to alert Social Services. You are a disgraceful mother. No child should be so unfortunate  
as to be burdened with such a parent."

_Snkkt!_

"Laura—put those back." Julian held up his hand. "Ms. Frost—I assure you, this was entirely _my_ bad idea. She had nothing to do with it."

Emma paused, her cold eyes shifting to the boy.

"Oh look, it's the prodigal children of the Xavier academy." Summers, coming up the walkway. "Mr. Keller…do you remember that little talk we had?  
About this not being a school for clowns?"

Julian flushed.

"You're fired," Emma said coldly.

"Wait." Laura held up her hand, retracting her claws. "This is wrong. This wasn't either of our faults. We've been under a lot of pressure…and Keller was trying to make  
me feel better about something that's been bothering me for a long time now. Something none of _you_ cared to address."

Emma looked unmoved, but Scott held up his hand. "Fine. Julian, you've still got a job. But if you so much as twitch funny, I'm going to demote you to the groundskeeper,  
got that? I'll have you cutting the grass with nail clippers."

"Understood, sir," Julian said, surprised that Laura had stood up for him.

Emma looked displeased but said nothing.

**…  
**

"MUMMMM!!!" Both Shrimps flung themselves around Laura's knees with force enough to make soft _whump _noises. Logan watched them, smoothing  
out his hair (which had been completely disheveled from tiny fists grabbing at it constantly).

"Thought you flew the coop permanently," Logan said gruffly, his relief evident. "Was about ready to put these two up on eBay. Do you have any idea  
how much damage that little son-of-a-gun did to my apartment?" He nodded at Nate.

"Probably," Julian said, touching the boy's head (the Shrimps were now clinging to his knee, and Nate was babbling about something.

Laura tilted her head, listening.

"Big woom, Joo! Shiny walls! I sawed a big shiny man an' guns an'—"

"_You took my children to the Danger Room?!_" Laura glared at Logan, her face flushing red with anger. Everyone in the room could sense it; Nate fell silent,  
Rachel let go of Laura's leg, and Julian grimaced.

"Now—kid—" Logan said, obviously underestimating Laura's protectiveness of the Shrimps. "D'you really think I'd put them in harm's way? I mean—"

"_**WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" **_She seemed to burst, like an overripe watermelon. _**"YOU FUCKTARD! ARE YOU STUPID?! YOU DON'T TAKE  
BABIES INTO THE DANGER ROOM! WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK IT'S CALLED THAT?! I'M GOING TO—**_"

"Laura…calm down," Julian said. "I'm sure they were just in the observation room. Right, Logan?"

"Right," Logan said quickly. A little too quickly, but Laura seemed to buy it.

"…oh. Well, thanks for taking care of them, then." She picked up Nate, her face back to its normal color, as if nothing had ever happened; turned and walked away.

Julian watched her with a wrinkled forehead.

"It's next week, isn't it?" Logan mumbled.

"Any day now, actually," Julian replied, knowing what he meant.

"Well," Logan grunted, amazed that Laura had turned the tables so easily. _He'd _been expecting to be the one to blow up when he saw his clone again. He glanced  
at Rachel, who was still hugging Julian's knee, and his annoyance softened somewhat. He was a sucker for cute baby girls. "They're a complete pain in my ass and  
I'm glad to see them go. But, uh…" he looked awkward.

"Bring 'em back sometime?"

Julian recognized this reaction. He'd seen it a million times in Laura, half-admitting something.

"Sure," he said, taking Rachel's hand. "Thanks. And, uh, I'm sorry about, uh, what happened. Won't do it again."

Logan raised his eyebrow. "Don't mention it," he said.


	21. 7: holidays 1:4 tree

**A/N: **Christmas is here! The next few chapters are floof, but Helix style.  
**Note: **The Christmas Worm is real...I made it when I was three. You will understand this sentence after you read the story.

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "Holidays" 7 Issue: 1/4 )**

 **Chapter 101: tree ******

**

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**

"DAT ONE!" Nate shrieked.

Julian blew out frosty air. They were in a parking lot full of Christmas trees, because Laura had (again) insisted that they celebrate properly. She was  
so weird, he mused. She hated tradition and yet every damn holiday he'd known her for, she forced him to pull out all the bells and whistles.

The plans had been altered; Sarah, Megan and Debbie were now flying over to spend Christmas with _them,_ as it had been decided that the Shrimps were  
still entirely too wild to be cooped up in an airplane for a nine-hour flight (as well as the fact that money was tight to be leaving just now, paid tickets or not).  
They would attempt the voyage next year, Laura had promised. Their arrival was possibly why said Laura was on a cleaning and decorating rampage with  
the ornaments she'd forced him to buy (Julian had told her 'she'd decorate _anything_ that stood still long enough', and Laura had been annoyed, but  
slightly more relaxed afterwards).

Next on the list was kitchen wares. A turkey pan. Baking sheets. A handheld mixer. Laura was planning to _cook,_ an idea that scared him. He didn't know if she  
was actually capable of Christmas food—he knew he certainly wasn't. But Laura had decided she wanted gingerbread cookies for the Shrimps, 'because hopping  
two telekinetic toddlers—with claws—up on sugar can have nothing but good results', or so he reasoned sarcastically.

Nate ran up to the tree and disappeared under the branches, making it tilt precariously. Julian glanced around, then stabilized it mentally. He'd rather risk  
exposing himself as a mutant than spend his holidays in the ER with a tree-flattened toddler. He constantly forgot about the healing factor.

Anyone in his position would.

"I dunno, dude. That's a pretty big tree for a little guy like you," he said skeptically, watching Nate rustle the branches.

"Tito said Santa putted toys undeh twee!" Nate explained, facing Julian again with wide eyes. "Lots an' lots! Big space mean moweh toys! Need big woom!"

"Having a bigger tree doesn't mean you're going to get more presents," Julian said, finding it hard not to laugh at the toddler's basic logic (he knew Nate would be hurt if he did).

"Not moweh!" Nate said frantically, running to his knee. "BIG! Lego castle!"

Julian _did _snort, but he disguised it as a cough. So Nate was beginning to develop mentally—he was planning things, wanting things, and using logic as to  
how he was going to get them. In a sense.

He ruffled the boy's soft hair, making it stick up. "We'll see." He was mentally calculating the number of parts in a Lego castle—so far, he'd come up with  
80 million. Granted, Nate hadn't lost any of his boat set yet…but he would still worry.

It would be a new obstacle for him to clear in the living room. Sometimes he felt like a show horse at a jumping competition.

"Dat one," Nate said again in a stubborn tone.

Footsteps; larger ones accompanied by a smaller, odd-gaited, pattering set. Laura approaching, holding Rachel's hand. Julian glanced  
at them; the former was wrinkling her nose.

"Nate wants this one," Julian said.

"_Oh_," she said examining the tree critically. "Will that _fit?_ It's really fat...we should get a smaller one."

"But _MUM!_" Nate said, worried.

"No, Nate…we'll find another one, okay?" Laura said.

"_**WANT**_," the twins said in unison. Rachel blinked afterwards, looking confused, then looked at Nate with an annoyed expression.

"Nate, don't make your sister agree with you. It's bad manners." Laura traded amused glances with Julian. This had happened several times, during the  
last month; Nate would temporarily hijack the hive mind the twins shared to force Rachel to second his demands. The parents had noticed Rachel's  
bewildered behavior immediately after each episode, and had put two and two together.

It_ could_ be a serious problem, later, but for the moment, it had given them quite a few good laughs (especially when they thought about how  
most parents simply had trouble with their offspring arguing, instead of agreeing).

"But _mum!_"

"Why do you want such a big tree?" Laura folded her arms, staring the toddler down and putting him on the spot. Nate looked away, not wanting  
to divulge to _her_—the monster that always told him 'no'—and timed his favorite toys—what he was hoping (and planning) to get.

"Nate."

"Castle!" Nate burst, looking sulky.

"He wants that Lego castle we saw a couple of months ago," Julian said. "He figures if the tree's got enough space, it's going to magically appear  
underneath it. And _how_ does he come up with this?"

"Why, Tito told him, of course," Laura said dryly. It was the answer to the source of almost every bizarre thing Nate had ever shared with them.

"Correct." Julian put his hands in his pockets and played with his keys.

"MUM!" Nate said urgently. "Want!"

"Alright, alright," Laura said grudgingly. "If I let you have this tree, you're going to be a good boy on the way home, right?"

"YES!" Nate almost shouted.

"I still wouldn't recommend giving them sugar," Julian said.

Laura was silent.

On the way to the tree lot, Nate had picked up his sippy-cup and begun a juice fight with Rachel. The first indicator of the fight had been a massive jet of  
apple juice hitting the windshield between the two parents at a stoplight (Laura had panicked, thinking they had forgotten their potty training), and they  
had had to pull over when the Shrimps began screaming at each other. Both toddlers had been covered head to foot, and the back seat was a sticky  
mess that would require ample cleaning time (fortunately he'd had the foresight to buy seat protectors, after the last mess which involved car sickness).

"I think I'm going to ask Santa for pet-carriers," Julian added vehemently.

**…  
**

"I can't believe I put up with this shit," he groaned later, on the couch (the toddlers asleep). No matter how short the outing with the Shrimps, he always  
found himself with a migraine afterwards. "You have _got_ to have a good talk about claws with your son."

At the grocery store, Julian had turned his back on Nate (who had been sitting in the cart) for three seconds, when he heard a distinctive _Snkkt_ of six little  
bone claws ejecting. He'd whipped his head around to see the toddler with both little fists jammed up to the knuckles in a nearby beef cut. With a price  
label of nearly eighty dollars. He'd tried to act casual and shield Nate from view as he made the boy remove his claws (they'd gotten stuck), eventually  
holding his hands and carefully pulling them out. Then he'd quickly wheeled the cart away, his face red.

Laura had found this hilarious.

"Can't blame him, you know. Poking meat is fun."

"Not when it's top sirloin, Laura." Julian looked at the freezer, which opened, and an icepack floated out to his waiting hand. "We don't have the  
kind of money that allows us to do that."

"Fine, I'll talk to him," she sighed. "I thought he was going to _behave_ after we got the tree he wanted. That thing's fucking huge."

"More than the budget, too," Julian said. "Might need to borrow some money if we're going to stay along with your plan."

"Of course we are," Laura said firmly. "Keller…this is their _first_ Christmas, and Emma thinks they're old enough to be forming memories. Our grace  
period for shit we can pull off without them remembering it later is _over._ We have to do things right from now on."

"Great," Julian said, pressing the icepack against his forehead. "To be honest, I'm not all that worried about them not getting what they  
want. My first, like, seven Christmases, I didn't get much…and I think I turned out okay."

"Well, I don't want them to be 'okay'. I want them to be happy." Laura replied. "Move over." She shoved his feet off the couch and sat down  
with a heavy _whump._ "Do you think Nate should get his castle-thing?"

"Why are you asking me?" Julian countered in an annoyed tone, still holding the icepack over his forehead and eyes. "No, my one-year-old-son  
who strongly resembles the antichrist should _not_ get an enormous set of tiny, edible parts that would fill like half our living room and get in the way  
all the time. I stepped on a pirate sword the other day, and while it didn't penetrate, it hurt like fuck."

Laura grinned. "How much is that thing?"

"A hundred dollars more than I have," Julian said flatly, knowing she was going to ignore his opinion anyways.

"We could ask Logan if he wants to chip in."

"I'm sure he'd be really flattered if you asked him."

"Keller, can you stop being such a pain in my ass? Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Laura backhanded him in the shoulder, and he exhaled hard and rubbed the area, but gave her a shit-eating grin.

"If we get Nate a big gift, then Rae's going to feel left out," Laura continued, in a concerned tone.

"Nate's joy will be gift enough for her," Julian said sarcastically. "She probably wouldn't be able to think her own thoughts for like a month  
after. Poor kid. I'd rather be skinned alive than share a brain with that little monster."

Laura was amused. "Well, eventually she'll figure out it works both ways, right? Or maybe she has already, and that's why Nate hangs around with Tito so much."

Julian removed the icepack. "Whoa, whoa—back up. You think Rae is _using_ Nate to get face time with Tito?"

"I'm not saying anything. Who knows what goes on in their little minds. I don't think she's doing that—I mean, you can always tell when  
Nate takes over. He's a lousy telepath…sucks at subtlety. Wonder where he got that from."

"Probably _you_," Julian mumbled, putting his arm around her waist.

"Fuck you, Keller."

"Please and thank you."

**…  
**

Julian watched the Special Ed class, last for the Winter holidays, mentally thanking Laura for helping him think up activities to occupy his  
students. Half the class was making ornaments out of sculpy, and the other half was cutting paper angels with child-safe scissors. Surprisingly,  
the class seemed to like this—all except for Sylvia, who glared at him darkly and refused to accept materials.

In exchange for the favor of helping him with activities, however, Laura had demanded he take Nate with him to class (since it was just crafts).

The boy was seated on the counter, bending pipe cleaners into what were supposed to be holiday shapes but were most distinctly not.

"You're supposed to use the walnuts, Nate," Julian said, holding one up. The walnuts had little holes made in the bottom by Laura with her claws.

"Here, see? The idea is you make deer."

"_NO!" _Nate said stubbornly, twisting the pipe cleaner, then holding it up. "See? Issa Cwissmass wehm!"

Julian stared at the red squiggle, now seeing what the boy had been doing all the long. "Nate…there's no such thing as a 'Christmas worm'."

"Yes dere is!" Nate insisted. "Tito told me!"

Julian traded looks with Angel and Beak across the room. They were working on a snowman out of Styrofoam balls (with a bored expression).

"Guys…I think we're going to need to have a little talk about what your son tells mine," he said grimly to them.

**…**

Logan stomped into the mansion, in a bad mood. He'd just returned from another dead end lead—Russia this time—and the games people were  
playing with him about _his_ past and _his_ loved ones were making him sick. No matter how hard he tried, here he was, a broken man, looking forwards  
to spending his Christmas with a cupboard of booze and a Kick inhaler.

The couples in the house, and the kids, annoyed him to no end. He'd worked harder than any of them…and he still didn't deserve to have _that,_ whatever  
magical element they'd touched on. Even crueler, a chance was dangled in front of him; like a mechanical rabbit in a greyhound race, it just kept moving away.

In his room, Logan punched the wall in frustration, his other hand holding a bottle of Jack Daniels. A shower of drywall filled the air. That was fucking it.

He couldn't stay _here._ He'd go—tell Scott he resigned—to hell with the X-men. He'd go and find his damn rabbit.

_Knock knock. _

Logan growled and tore open the door. "What the hell do you—"

It was Laura, holding Rachel's hand. The two girls blinked, Rachel leaning back slightly with a small frown as she looked up at him. "Snow?" she asked her  
mother in her high-pitched child's voice, meaning the drywall in Logan's hair.

"Doing some decorating?" Laura asked, peering over his shoulder nosily. She could obviously see the hole in his wall.

"Course," he grunted. Fucking clone.

"You should frame it," Laura said. "That makes anything look good."

Normally, Logan would have thrown in a quip like 'even Summers', but he was quite pissed off just now. "You want something'?" he asked instead.

"We're here to invite you to dinner for the big day," Laura said, wrinkling her nose. "I'm having second thoughts now, 'coz you look like you're going to eat _me,_  
and I don't want the Shrimps' first Christmas to involve cannibalism."

Logan folded his arms. "I don't _do_ holiday shit, kid."

"Neither do we, but we're pretending for those of us who haven't learned better," she said seriously. "The Shrimps will be disappointed if you don't come. Oh,  
yeah, and it's mandatory to bring a present for each of them."

Rachel tugged on Logan's jean-covered knee. "Pyease," she said, seeming to understand what was being asked.

"Fine," Logan grunted. "There gonna be booze?"

"I'm insulted you would even ask that." Laura grinned, and her DNA-original had a moment of worry. "The good stuff will have to wait until the minors are in bed,  
though…I can just picture Nate pulling a Keller and jetting off to Africa like a little bottle rocket on a flask of fireball…"

"Hrumpf." Logan did look amused. "Fine," he said again. "I'll come to your lil shindig thing. But don't expect me to sing Christmas carols or  
whatever shit you've got planned."

"I will personally execute the first person who even _looks_ like they're about to start singing," Laura promised solemnly.


	22. 7: holidays 2:4 gift

**A/N: **I spend my life in an almost constant state of exams...I've had four in the past week and a half, including the one tomorrow. It's chemistry. There's like 7 equations to know, and I have to know them  
inside-out-upside-down-ass-backwards how to use them (and also be creative, pulling up equations from previous exams to use them). Normally it wouldn't be so bad, except I had the physics test...and then  
when I skipped bio to study for the physics test, I glanced out the outline and saw that the bio exam _was the next day_ and I hadn't studied whatsoever. Holy nightmare batman! Seriously getting about 3 hrs sleep  
a night. I'm booking like 5 hrs for tonight. Although, on the plus side, I got in to some courses for summer term that I was totally worrying over (a stupid prerequisite that I would be a week from finishing and yet  
could've fucked up about a year of school for me), so I am quite pleased about that. I was so tired that when I managed to register I got excited and nearly had to sit down because my heart went _wayyyy _too fast.

lol, that looks so pathetic...anyways here you go, enjoy. The mention of Julian's little performance at the end is based on the song my boyfriend was drunkenly crooning to me when we first met. He couldn't get past  
the part mentioned either. It took him about 3 hours to sober up enough for me to understand he wasn't retarded...glad I waited though 3 it'll be a year on the 12th. I still give him shit about it, hehe.

(PS: That's not why this chapter has any of its content...I wrote this wayyyy before ;-)

Oh and the cookie scene happened, sort of. Bryan was being an asshole and poking them while I was trying to put them on the pan, so I made him a penis-shaped cookie and told him that was my portrait of him.

He ate it, lol.

**Laura K. Howlett:**

Actually, the whole Logan thing may not be what you think. It's coming...next volume. We're about more than halfway through this one.  
Also (re: your Sofia comment on Cowpie II), Sofia, even in the comics, seems deceptively nice to me. The way she treated Julian (didn't really talk to him about their situation, give him a chance), and the way  
she handled her team somewhat sparked the feeling in me that she does have a bitchy side. I mean, no one's 100 percent angelic, but it works out in my fics. I'm trying to maintain that subtle sense that she's  
an awesome person, but does have her flaws. She's going to play an important part in this one.

In contrast, the Laura of this fic can be a major bitch--but I tend to see her as more honest and open about her feelings, more blunt. She gets violent about emotions but sometimes that's better than letting  
them simmer. Even with her dislike of the Sofia/Julian issue, she's still been vocal and argued with him when it comes up. Just a little opinion of mine.

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "Holidays" 7 Issue: 2/4 )**

 **Chapter 102: gift ******

**

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**

"Stop it!" Laura snapped, slapping Julian's hand away as he reached around her for a cookie. "They're not finished!"

He darted around her, trying to access the pan; she countered, elbowing him in the ribs; he dodged and managed to shoot his hand under her arm and snatch a cookie. "HOLY—"

"I _may_ have forgotten to mention that they're smoking hot," Laura grinned, watching Julian suck his burnt fingers. "This may or may not have been intentional."

"You fucking—"

"Teach an asshole to steal my cookies!" Laura said.

"Hey—are those—"

"They're anatomically correct," she said, picking up one of the cooled ones from the rack and holding it up for display. It did, indeed, sport male genitalia.

"Remind me again how this is all for the Shrimps."

"Pfft. These aren't." Laura pointed to another batch. "_Those_ are. I'd like to avoid drawing attention to certain parts until you've had the talk with them…  
I don't want grandchildren until, like, ever."

"A-HAH!" Julian said accusingly. "I _knew_ it! You're planning for _me_ to have to deal with all that shit. Crazy bitch!"

Laura pursed her lips, realizing she had just admitted it. "It's only fair…you had all the fun and got me into this mess, you can deal with explaining  
the whole shebang to them, right?"

"Excuse me. I missed the part where I had _fun_ causing this," Julian said pointedly.

Laura paused again. "I keep forgetting," she admitted.

"Fuck you and your cookies," he said nastily, reaching over her and selecting a cool one. "Give me the icing. These things are crap unless they're covered  
in it. God, this holiday food is totally going to mess up my physique…I bet the whole Squad's going to be pathetic for like a month after."

"HAHAHAHA! I just pictured you flying while fat. In spandex." Laura looked amused. "It was like Fat Bastard's sumo scene from Austin powers."

"…" Julian stared at her, alarmed. "You actually _see_ your weird little ideas?"

"Sometimes." Laura handed him a tube of icing with a suspicious look; Julian looked at it, at the cookie, then at her, and stuck the tube end in his  
mouth, squeezing viciously.

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Laura wrinkled her nose, watching in sick fascination.

He pulled the tube out and offered it back to her, licking icing off the corner of his mouth with a grin.

"No thanks. God knows where your mouth has been."

_Squirt! _The entire contents of the tube shot out and splattered all over Laura's shirt as he mentally caused an air pocket to explode inside the tube. Julian ran  
out of the kitchen, closely followed by the victim (who was brandishing a nearby can of whipped cream); he made it as far as the couch (nearly to the door)  
when he tripped on Rachel's pink hippo and fell to his knees. Laura reached him at that moment and pressed the plunger on the aerosol can with the same  
vicious expression she used while spraying smelly items with Febreze.

…

"That thing is fucking huge." Laura was examining the Lego castle with a doubtful eye, nose wrinkled in her usual expression of distaste.

They were at the toy store, again, in the Lego aisle; the Shrimps were at home, with Logan, who had 'grudgingly' volunteered to watch them when Laura  
had spammed the mansion with requests for a babysitter while they completed Christmas shopping (Angel being too busy).

"Expensive, too," Julian said, hands in his pockets. He kicked the ground, wishing they were finished.

"He would totally lose all the parts."

"You know it."

"Are those swords actually sharp? It's all fun and games till someone loses an eye."

"Probably."

"It would take up half the living room." Laura continued. "And it'd just boost that little ego he's been growing…thinking he can get whatever he  
wants. Wonder where he got _that_ from, too."

"Who knows."

"Okay. So we're agreed. We're not getting it."

"Totally." Julian turned to go, with relief.

"Help me lift this."

Laura was tugging at the castle box on the shelf. Julian raised an eyebrow, confused. "I thought you just said we weren't getting it."

"I lied. You know he's going to pee his pants with excitement."

"That just means another mess to clean up!" Julian exclaimed.

Laura gave him a patient look that clearly said he had no chance at winning this argument. "God, _fine,_" he said, lifting the box with his mind and floating  
it towards himself so he could physically carry it. "Jesus."

"To the Cabbage Patch aisle," Laura announced. "We're going doll shopping."

"You're fucking kidding me."

"You have two choices, Keller. If you don't complain, I might make up my mind quickly. Be a pain in my ass, and I will stop to _read_ the little story on _every_ box."

Julian fell silent, realizing Laura _would_ carry out this threat. He decided he'd simply get her back when she wasn't expecting it.

**…  
**

"What are we getting Logan?" Laura asked, an hour later, as they were sitting at a table in the food court, with a bucket of New York fries in front of them.

"We're getting _Logan_ a present? I didn't know he was your kid too." Julian feigned disgust.

"Ha, ha."

"Just come out and be straight with me. How much longer are we going to be here? _How long is your list?_" Julian stopped, a fry halfway to his mouth. Laura had a  
piece of paper (which she'd been reading the whole trip) in her hand, and he'd just noticed that it was _folded._

He suddenly realized the magnitude of the changes the maternal instincts had awoken in the girl. Only months before, she would have _never_ gotten anyone a  
Christmas present. It was like observing schizophrenia.

"A few people," Laura said dismissively. "Come on, help me think. It'll go faster."

Julian bit his lip, reminding himself that he'd need to bide his time in finding revenge. One or two months, at the very least.

"Keller!"

"Jeez, okay. Uh…beer?"

"_Everyone_ gives him that," Laura said, displeased.

"Because it's his favorite thing!"

"Something he'll actually like."

"I dunno, but _I'm _getting you a dictionary for Christmas, so you can look up the definition of 'favorite', dumbass." Julian ate the fry. "God, Laura. You _know_ I hate  
shopping. Did I do something lately that you're punishing me for, or what?"

Laura paused, swallowed. "No. I just want your help. You did something nice for me on my birthday…and I want to return the favor."

"But—"

"Logan's going through a rough patch of some sort," Laura said, selecting another fry, her eyes flicked downwards beneath her thick eyelashes. "I don't know what  
it is…but I thought it'd be nice if we made him feel like he has _family,_ right? Just like you tried to make me feel like I'm not a clone."

"Fine." Julian could see that she felt quite serious on the topic, and decided it was better to humor her at the moment. "Cigars. A home waxing kit. Deodorant. Bike gear. Uh, a helmet?"

Laura rolled her eyes.

"No—wait—adopt a kid in his name," Julian said, gesturing with his fry. "Y' know, a starving African. The whole deal, with the t-shirt, and the hand-written letter…and the photo…"

"You're fired," Laura said sourly. Then she brightened. "Or not. Keller, that's a _great_ idea!"

Julian wondered if he should call Ms. Frost mentally and tell her Laura had gone bat-shit crazy. This was quite obvious from his expression.

"Not _that,_ asshole," Laura said. "The picture! We'll give him an album of the Shrimp's baby pictures."

"I'm sure that's what he's always wanted." As soon as he spoke the words, he knew he'd made a mistake. Laura's eyes flashed, hotter than the  
hot sauce he'd been dipping his fries into.

"Julian Keller, _never_ let me hear you being sarcastic about our children again," she said in a tone that spoke of unfulfilled nights on the sofa.

"Jeez, fine," he grumbled. "You'd think your Ms. Frost's clone."

"Well, I'm not," Laura said archly. "Okay, so we need to go to the craft store…there's one in this mall…we'll get an album, and little photo corners…ooh, and scrapbook materials—"

"There's also a bar in this mall. Can I just hang out there and you call me when you're done?"

Laura glared at him. "Absolutely not." She held his gaze for a minute too long, and he realized she was faltering. Booze was Laura's Achilles heel, despite the events  
of the past month, which they'd just barely recovered from. Seconds later…"…but we can _both_ go there after."

"I'd have to be drunk to go in a craft store in the first place," Julian said, grinning.

Laura wavered.

**…  
**

"HAHAHAHA!" Laura threw back her head, laughing at something. She was sitting on Julian's lap, and he on a barstool, and he was vaguely aware that he was about to  
lose his balance, but he didn't care because he could see down her top from this angle quite nicely. He thought back to how exciting it'd been, to see her that first  
time—more than a year ago—and how he'd fantasized about her.

The other girls his age at the school—the ones in his league—had all dressed conservatively, which had been depressing (to a pervert, which he and most other guys his  
age naturally were). He'd had a total of three _kisses_ at the school, and would probably have been a virgin if he had been sent there any sooner.

Of course Laura had stood out. She demanded attention; she was basically a wet dream. She was pierced—everywhere—and wore outfits that rivaled the  
White Queen. It was obvious, from the way she carried herself, that she was experienced in matters that the other girls were not. And her saucy attitude.

Better yet—she'd completely rejected him.

He remembered being nervous, approaching her door, holding her mitts, and wondering what he was going to say. Knowing he had to impress her  
somehow, because Laura wasn't a sweet girl who would be kind and give attention to someone undeserving. Not like Sofia.

And of course, Julian wanted a challenge. He loved proving he was the best at everything. So he'd scraped up the courage to approach her, again and again.

"OHMIGOD!" Laura said, slamming her glass down on the table and shattering his train of thought. "KELLER! We have to go! The store's going to close in, like,  
fifteen minutes!"

"Mmmkay," he said, nuzzling her hair contentedly. He suddenly didn't care so much about having to walk around a craft store to keep her happy.

**…  
**

Laura tried to keep a straight face as she steered her drunk partner away from the "Christmas Village" display. She'd turned her back on him for a moment, and  
when she looked at him again, he'd been in the act of rearranging the citizens into indecent acts. All the little reindeer pulling Santa's sleigh had been unhooked  
and were now breeding.

"Look, pretend you're sober," Laura (who _was_ sober) hissed. "Or I'll make you ride in the trunk with the Lego Castle. Got it?"

"Okay," Julian said, obviously not getting it. He wobbled; she rolled her eyes and took his hand, then looked at the aisle cap signs for 'Albums'. She spotted it a  
few seconds later and pulled him in the general direction.

In the aisle, she found a fair selection of albums, and studied them for a while (Julian blinking at them without comprehension). Finally she released his hand and  
picked one up, examining it critically. "This is nice, hey? Black…plain so we can decorate it…decent price. You got twenty bu—_hey!_"

Julian had suddenly taken off, and Laura's fingers brushed his jacket but failed to take hold. For a drunk individual that had been swaying just a moment before,  
he was quick on his feet. He was out of sight. She ran after him, trying not to look conspicuous as she tracked the sound of his sneakers on the polished floor.

**…  
**

Julian blinked, realizing he was on the couch, at home, with an icepack on his head, which was resting on a pillow. He could hear Laura bustling in the kitchen.

"What happened?" he croaked.

"Morning, sunshine," Laura said, looking over the edge of the couch.

"What _happened?_" he asked again.

"What _happened_ is you snuck some shots you shouldn't have taken while I went to the washroom at the bar. Yeah, I knew about those, dumbass. Then you sent  
me on a wild goose chase through the craft store, wearing a door wreathe with bells on it." Laura allowed herself to grin at his horrified expression. "It was at that  
point you hijacked the intercom and starting singing 'Sexual Healing', except you couldn't seem to get past the part with the boat capsizing—"

"You know what…never mind," Julian said, sitting up. "I'm better off not knowing." He wrinkled his forehead, thinking his head felt odd; he slapped the side and  
realized he was wearing a headband. Pulling it down, he saw (to his horror) that it had antlers attached.

"I forgot that you were wearing that the whole time," Laura said, cackling.

"I have seriously got to stop drinking," said Julian.


	23. 7: holidays 3:4 wreathe

**A/N: **In response to **zackslacker18...**my feelings on the current comic events regarding one Julian Keller? Atrocious! I will be upset if he dies. I've decided, no matter what happens, to keep writing my fics.  
However, since they killed off Boom-Boom in that issue (as the shocker)...I have the feeling he and Nori might be saved. Maybe X-force will come back to the right point in time...and Elixir will heal the  
effin' Legacy the hell out of them. That's what I hope at least. Then Laura can have an awkward reconciliation with him and we can have a helix makeout scene! (yeah right, like they'd let us see that...  
we're only paying for the damn comic...)

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "Holidays" 7 Issue: 3/4 )**

 **Chapter 103: wreathe ******

* * *

"Try to put the ornaments at the _ends_ of the branches, Nate," Laura said patiently, retrieving yet another ball he'd hidden deep in the tree.

"We want to see how pretty it is, right?"

"Shiny!" Nate pointed at the big silver ornament, all smiles.

"He's definitely yours, Keller," Laura said.

"I could say the same meaning _you_." Julian watched Rachel throw a handful of tinsel into the air and run around in a circle under it. "I still don't  
understand why I can't use my powers for this. Seriously—it'd be done in five minutes."

"It's for _them!_" Laura snapped. "I want them to remember decorating a tree for their first Christmas, and having fun!"

"Don't you want me to remember having fun too?"

"Not necessarily," Laura said nastily.

"Okay. I'll watch TV then." He lifted the remote mentally; it sailed to his fingers.

"Turn that on and _die,_ Keller," Laura threatened. "You are _going_ to be involved, whether you want to or not."

"You're like the Grinch who _gave_ Christmas," Julian grumbled, flinging the remote down on the couch and standing up to accept the ornament being  
hoisted on him by Laura. He wanted to argue the point further, but she was right—the Shrimps _did_ look like they were having fun, and he was  
loathe to start yelling at their mother and end their enjoyment.

He'd bide his time.

**…  
**

Laura plunked down a box of wrapping paper, bows, and tape. And markers.

And ribbons.

She looked evil.

Julian slammed shut his laptop (without saving). "Yeah—I gotta go—uh—Frost's calling me. Have fun."

"_Come back here!_" Laura snarled.

He paused, his hand still on his jacket zipper (he'd almost tapped into his powers with the leap he'd taken to the door).

"Fuck _that._ You're asking me to help you wrap shit, which I am _not_ doing."

"I'm not asking. I'm telling."

Julian glared at her sulkily, then threw his jacket back on the peg. "_Fine._ I'm totally going to do a crappy job. I'll cut things too small and use duct tape to patch up the gaps, I swear."

"Like hell you will. I'll make you redo every present you ruin." She pointed at the chair; Julian sat down, his eyes full of displeasure. Yet another challenging experience  
to add to his list of recent events he'd survived—Quire—Magneto—the Shrimps—and now, the holidays.

"I can't wait till you snap out of mom-mode," he grumbled as she set a box in front of him.

Laura pressed a bow into his hair with a grin. "Give it twenty years or so."

**…  
**

"You sure you invited everyone on the list?"

Saturday night—only two nights away from Christmas eve (D-Day), and Laura was fretting. Sarah would be arriving the next morning, along with Debby and Megan; and  
the guests would be coming over, of which there were more than Julian had initially expected. Laura had gone as far as to invite Summers, Frost, the Salvadore-Bohusks,  
and the New Mutants-Hellions Squad, even Sofia and Dani Moonstar.

Julian now understood why she'd gotten two turkeys. He'd raised his eyebrow at her when, at the time of purchase, she'd explained the second as a back-up turkey, in  
case she 'fuck(ed) up the first one beyond the point of human consumption', as she put it. She'd apparently been afraid that he'd object to inviting that many guests.

He wondered if part of this holiday get-together part might be a defiant reaction to Frost's statement that she was a bad mother.

"Laura, it's a _list._ You made me cross off the names with a pen."

"And…"

"Yes, I'm pretty fucking sure I invited everyone." Julian closed his eyes, lying on the couch, the icepack on his forehead. His head hurt. The tree was done, the Shrimps  
were in their cribs, sound asleep, the presents were wrapped, and he felt like _he_ was wrapped too—in shiny Christmas paper.

The green plastic kind.

He'd never have associated Laura with this holiday.

He kept thinking she was trying to punish him. For what, though?

"One more thing…there's this outfit…"

"Abso-fucking-luteley _NOT_, Laura, there is _no_ fucking way I will dress up as—" Julian said, yanking the icepack off his eyes to glare at her—and he raised  
his eyebrow, liking what he saw. Very much.

Brought him back to the whole 'appreciating Laura's style' train of thought.

"Well…that's new," he said, for lack of better words. She was wearing something very shiny (vinyl) and very red. And very little of it.

"So…you were saying?"

"Uh-huh," he said vaguely. "What? No—I didn't—"

Laura sat on the edge of the couch. "Should I wear this to dinner?"

"Please don't," he said, his forehead wrinkled.

She grinned and patted his foot. "You're so cute…I almost heard you go 'boing', like a—"

He silenced her rather forcefully.

**…  
**

Julian watched Laura carefully to see if she really _was_ asleep. They were still on the sofa, their clothes (including the shiny red fabric) now on the floor; she was  
lying on top of him with her hair going everywhere and her cheek pressed against his chest. Then he felt it—drool. Laura sometimes drooled in her sleep, something  
he'd never seen her do while conscious. He looked down at her hand (hanging over the edge of the sofa) and thought, very carefully, about slipping the makeshift  
ring off. Not only was he afraid she would wake, but the metal was soft and he was afraid he would cause the circumference to change. He would need it tomorrow.

**...  
**

The next morning, Laura went on a rampage trying to find the missing ring. He'd been gravely mistaken in thinking she wouldn't notice. She was like a woman possessed.

"COOKIES!" she exclaimed. "Oh my _god!_ What if it slipped off when I was baking...and…" she looked pointedly at the Shrimps, playing near the tree.

"That'd take care of the anemia Dr. McCoy keeps talking about, wouldn't it?" Julian said, realizing he was enjoying Laura's distress, after all _she'd_ caused him lately.

"Hey, maybe you can train them to poop out ornaments! Then everyone would be doing their share!" he grinned.

"Shut the hell up, Keller," Laura said, wrinkling her nose. "Check the sofa again."

"Why would it be there? You made me check it like twice already."

"It could have come off last night."

Julian rolled his eyes, then had an idea. He lifted the cushions, then passed a wave of energy over the couch bed, sending a shower of crumbs, lost toys and random change into the air.

" KELLER!" Laura gasped. "Get the vacuum and clean that up _right now!_"

"I'm fairly sure that if I could do _that_ in the first place, I don't need a vacuum to _undo_ it," he said, grinning. He'd done it, of course, just to irritate Laura. He shot the cloud of random  
objects towards the garbage can, holding back the change and toys. "Look at that…we didn't need to buy all those presents. We could've just re-gifted."

"You're such an attractive person," Laura said, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"I try." Julian grinned at her nastily and dropped the cushions back in place rather unceremoniously. "Now…need-to-know information…where are the keys?"

"Why?" Laura demanded immediately.

"Time to blow this joint," he said, spotting his keys on top of the fridge (under a pile of wrapping paper) and floating them over.

"No—where are you going?" Laura caught the keys in midair as they passed over her shoulder; Julian scowled. He would probably hurt her hand if he  
ignored the action and continued to pull.

"I'm getting a gift for my brother," he lied. Laura had a very sensitive nose—and could _smell _liars—but, with practice (through necessity), he'd learned to relax while  
bullshitting her and therefore eliminated some of the obvious body indicators. She only got suspicious half the time now.

"What? Why didn't you get it earlier, when we were shopping?"

"I didn't want to." Weak. Julian knew she wasn't buying it. Plan B.

Laura's eyes narrowed. "Fess up! You're going to a bar, aren't you?!"

"Yeah," he admitted. "I need a break, Laura."

"That's not fair! _I_ want to be drinking too but I'm putting in all the effort to keep your larvae happy, douchebag!"

Julian stared at her. "My 'larvae'?" he asked after a moment.

"Don't answer with questions," Laura said snidely.

"Whatever. Look, I'm going whether you like it or not. I'll be back."

"What if I need your help while you're gone?"

"You're training to be an X-man, Laura," Julian pointed out. "I'm fairly certain you can manage to decorate stuff on your own." He moved towards her and  
held his hand out for the keys. Laura wrinkled her nose.

"You're not drinking and driving!" she exclaimed next.

"I won't. I'm going to just sit for a while." He held her gaze.

Laura wavered, then dropped the keys into his palm.

"Bring back a poinsettia. You know, one of those weird Christmas plants with the colored leaves. Oh, and I need more icing. White. And M & M's."

"What happened to the huge bag you got?" Julian asked, knowing the answer but enjoying making her admit to it.

Laura looked away. "…I ate them," she admitted.

"That thing was huge. Like ten pounds."

"_One _pound," Laura corrected.

"I hate that you never gain weight. It's so unfair." He kissed her forehead, his jacket now in his hands.

"Oh, I gain weight," Laura grinned. "I might have to go bra-shopping after all this is over. Damn things just keep getting bigger…"

"BYE," Julian yelled, ignoring what she'd said.

"Don't drink and drive, asshole!" Laura reminded him as he headed for the door.

**…  
**

He felt conspicuous, browsing through the rings in the glass cases and trying to find one that Laura would actually _like_. He'd bought her a pair of earrings before,  
around their first anniversary (since meeting each other) and it had literally taken her an hour to choose them, so he knew that she had strong opinions on her  
jewelry. She could be so damn picky about things—she hated either yellow or white gold, but unfortunately he couldn't remember which one she _liked._

It was against his nature to remember trivial details.

Unfortunately, this wasn't his first time examining ring cases. The first time had been for Noel. One evening, shortly after turning fourteen, the butler had pulled  
into the driveway just as his mother phoned him. Or called him mentally, as he now suspected. He'd been too mixed up to remember, at that moment; this, of  
course, had been back when his powers were just emerging. He'd been stoned quite a bit back then on various substances (he'd thought, at first, that his  
abilities were a hallucination until he'd caught his sister one time in a lucid moment and she'd convinced him that they were real).

He'd entered the library, and his mother had introduced sixteen-year-old Noel, and said that she thought the girl would make a lovely friend for him. Julian wasn't  
even concentrating at the moment—he glanced at Noel in boredom. She'd been a bit skinnier then, but just as fake; he only thought about how his friends would  
be jealous if he had a girlfriend that was older. So he went along.

Fifteen and his mother had dragged him to a jewelry store—a Tiffany's—and had forced him to help her pick a ring, something he had no interest whatsoever in  
finding. This decision had been made in an attempt to reign Julian in, he supposed—he _had_ gotten pretty wild, showing off in front of Noel with his powers.

Rachel—his sister—had encouraged him to rebel against his parents whenever possible.

His mother had somehow gotten Noel to forget afterwards (now Julian knew _how_).

Then Rachel had died. He'd gone out of control, destroyed enormous amounts of property and then taken off to do things he still wasn't sure of under numerous  
influences. He'd overdosed once, and almost killed himself too. His father had sent him off to military school, an arrangement that ended shortly afterwards, and  
by the time he was sixteen, he was sent to Xavier's, his father speaking privately to Professor Xavier about his problems in the office while he sulked in the hallway.

"I don't _need_ to be here," he'd declared boldly. "I know everything there is to know about being a mutant already."

Julian stared at one ring case (in the far left corner of the room now) and rubbed the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. He hated how the holidays  
seemed to make him _remember_ things constantly, whether he wanted to or not. They were memories he'd much rather keep buried.

"Can I help you?" a voice asked. A woman, in her thirties, with blond hair and blue eyes. Eyeing him and smiling to herself, probably making assumptions.

"Yeah," he said, pointing at one of the rings in the corner. "Can I see that?"

"That's a wedding ring," the lady said. "The engagement rings are—"

"This is what I'm looking for," he interrupted. She raised her eyebrow and unlocked the case, obviously thinking he looked a little _young_ to have already completed  
the deed. She pulled out the stand and held it on the table, obviously not willing to let it go completely. If she only knew how easy it would be for him to steal it if  
he wanted to, he mused, almost grinning.

"These rings are more expensive. Do you want to look at something a bit cheaper?"

"Nope." This purchase would just about clean up what he had left, but he knew he'd make it back soon enough. The Shrimps had enough toys and supplies to last  
through a zombie invasion. Plus, he'd realized he would be turning twenty-one in the spring, and would be allowed to access the trust fund his father had set up  
for him. They'd be alright for a little while.

He studied the ring up close, wondering if it was something Laura might like. It was different, for sure—a small pearl with a diamond on each side.

What the hell. "Do you have this in size 11?" he asked.

The lady froze, staring at him. "Are you _sure_ that's the right size?" she asked.

Julian blinked, then pulled the ring out of his pocket and set it down on the glass. _Tink. _"This is what she was wearing before."

The lady put the store ring back in the case, locked it, then picked up his ring and examined it. "What the—what _is_ this?" she asked, her forehead wrinkled. "It looks—"

"Cheap? Yeah, it was a last-minute thing. I lost the real one. Can you get a size off that?"

The lady reached into a drawer behind the counter and pulled out a gauging device. She held it to the ring and measured its diameter, her eyebrows raised.

"That's quite an unusual size. You'll have to pay a sizing fee, sir."

"I could always ask her to have liposuction on her fingers," Julian pointed out.

The lady was silent, flushing slightly. Then, "Do you wish to purchase that model?"

"Yeah," he said.

"The setting will take a week."

"I was thinking I'd come by in an hour." He grinned at her. "This is my last minute X-mas shopping."

"Sir—you should have come earlier." The woman placed the ring back on the counter. _Tink. _"A week earlier."

"I figured no one says no to a rush order fee," Julian said. "You do know who I am, right?"

The woman blinked. He pulled out a credit card and tossed it on the counter. It was the school's card—he didn't think tossing a student visa on the glass surface would have  
quite the same effect as a platinum card, even if it was a staff card.

Her eyes widened. She'd obviously heard of his family—his parents had been quite popular; his mother had been featured in a few gossip magazines, for a while. He'd even  
had a run, until his mother had bought out the columns to keep them quiet. They had focused on Paris Hilton instead.

"Let me see what I can do," she said.

**…  
**

Two hours later he left the store with a small box in his pocket, not making the mistake of passing up protection for his expensive purchase this time  
(after losing the engagement ring). He stopped by a few other places on his way back, including the bar (where he sat down and had a pizza to obtain  
an authentic bar smell to satisfy Laura's suspicions about where he' been). However, when he returned, she was far too busy to question him about  
what he'd been doing—the Shrimps had gotten into a bowl of cookie dough while Laura went to the washroom (_how _they'd done it in one minute_,_  
no one was sure) and had fought with the substance, throwing it all over the walls, and then had gotten sick from the raw ingredients.

The next three hours were spent spoon-feeding Pepto-Bismol to the crying, screaming mess of diarrhetic toddlers (while trying to keep things clean).

They could only be thankful for the healing factors, that meant three hours and not all day, he mused, watching in sick fascination as Nate expelled M & M's that looked  
as if they'd never been eaten.


	24. 7: holidays 4:4 turkey

**A/N: **The God-Jesus robot is REAL. Go to engrish. c o m (no spaces) and do a search for "God-Jesus". It's the second result.

* * *

**  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "Holidays" 7 Issue: 4/4 )**

 **Chapter 104: turkey ******

* * *

"Oh my goodness!" Sarah gushed, kneeling down so she was almost at eye level with the Shrimps. "They are the most precious things I've ever seen!"

"Not half bad for rug rats," Megan said from the kitchen table.

"Adorable," Debby agreed. Laura's aunt. Julian had made acquaintance with her before (previous Christmas dinner, at Sarah's), and had found her to be  
a smart, well-mannered businesswoman. She was a lawyer.

"That's Sarah," Laura said, kneeling down with the Shrimps. "Your grandmother."

The Shrimps eyed her judgmentally, then Rachel ran behind her back and hid.

Everyone smiled; Laura frowned. "She's not usually that shy," she said.

"I'm a complete stranger! Of course she's going to be afraid," Sarah said.

"Mum," Nate said, tugging on Laura's t-shirt sleeve with wide eyes. "Mum—"

"What?" Laura asked patiently. Nate seemed to have something to tell her, quite urgently, but at that moment the door opened and Julian entered, kicking  
snow off his boots and puffing frosty air, his eyes glowing. "I've got the extra chairs. And the table. God, that was so weird, flying them back…I tried  
stacking them but it was really uncomfortable…they kept wobbling."

Laura stood up and headed for the door, Nate and Rachel left exposed to their grandmother of sorts. They ran for Julian's leg and latched themselves  
around his knees, murmuring something inaudible.

Julian touched their heads comfortingly. "You let them at those damn cookies, didn't you?"

"Maybe. Come on, let's get these inside. Then I have to start cooking."

**…  
**

"PEEL THESE!" Laura said, frantically slamming a bowl of potatoes down in front of where Julian sat at the table (as far away from Megan as possible). He  
twitched, startled, and gazed up into her frustrated face, slightly flushed from the heat of cooking. He'd been listening to Laura curse for the last two hours,  
accompanied by loud clatters, and had offered to help no less than four times.

"Laura—let _me_ help," Sarah said, her forehead wrinkling.

"No!" Laura snapped. "You're our guest! And this asshole is sitting around doing _nothing!_"

"So you're saying you want help now?" Julian asked reasonably.

"Not if you're going to be a dick about it!" Laura fumed.

Sarah glanced at him knowingly, having put up with Laura's inconsistencies for years. He got up without comment and followed her to the kitchen. "Jesus, it  
looks like you're murdering the food or something," he commented, seeing the vegetables violently strewn about the counters, some with knives still  
embedded in their lengths. The turkey was popping and sizzling in the oven.

"Just be quiet," Laura murmured, sucking her tongue. "Peel the fucking potatoes."

Julian concentrated on the bowl. _Shrrip, _the potatoes slid neatly out of their skins, which floated over the edge and into the garbage can in the corner. "You realize  
I could have done that earlier and saved you from peeling the yams for like an hour," he said, noting the enormous pile of skins already in the garbage as he  
dropped the fresh peels.

"Fuck you." Laura brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "I enjoyed it, every second of it. I pretended they were _you._"

Julian blinked. "So…uh, anything else I can help you with?"

Laura held up a bunch of Celery. "Cut these."

**…  
**

Julian sat with Barnell and Angel, amongst the guests, watching the Shrimps—especially Nate as he hovered around the large box, whispering excitedly to  
Tito. It was impossible to keep the children away, although he'd tried—the box was like honey, and the Shrimps were bees. He remembered how _his_ parents  
had done the very same thing, during the poorer years; sat at the table with friends while making sure he and his brother didn't lose control and rip  
everything apart like starving dogs.

It was definitely an advantage to be able to move things with his mind, though. The Shrimps jumped back, squealing, every time he made the box move (usually  
when Nate was touching the box). The rattle thrilled them. He usually didn't utilize his powers around the Shrimps—even less than before—because Laura was  
terrified he was going to have an 'accident' (she'd never gotten over the bomb in the Danger Room from last Field Day). Watching their reaction, however, made  
him decide he _would_ start using it more in the coming year.

He caught himself thinking how he was going to be the coolest dad ever, and almost choked on his drink as it went down the wrong pipe. He'd made a strict  
promise that he would _never _use that word in reference to himself.

"What's in the box?" Logan grunted as he sat down beside his clone's partner, beer in hand. He'd thought the Keller kid was a little snot-nosed piss in times  
previous, but of late his respect for the boy was growing. Granted—that England thing had been a ginormous fuck-up. All in all, though, he was impressed that  
two _children_ had outdone him so completely and managed to make a happy-looking family unit out of nothing. Or worse—out of a violation that was somewhat  
comparable to the operation that had lined his bones with adamantium.

"A Lego castle," Julian murmured. "I wasn't going to get it but Laura decided he's ready for it. I don't know _why—_he's only misbehaved four times in the past  
two days. They nearly got us killed on the highway when they started a juice fight…and there was this thing with raw gingerbread yesterday. And last night,  
we caught Nate trying to creep to the tree in the dark. He couldn't lift the big box so he grabbed some smaller stuff and ran into the bathroom….kid's getting  
smart, he _locked_ the door."

Logan stared at him. "He's eight months old, Keller."

"That means nothing," Julian said dryly. "Look at him. He almost looks like a two year old. And he's making the connection that he doesn't need to _touch_ things  
for them to do what he wants."

"Jesus," Logan said, shuddering. "Doesn't make me sleep easy."

"Hah, that's something I miss," Julian said speculatively. "I don't think I've slept a night straight through for two years. It's all light catnaps, waiting for the  
next shoe to drop…your clone gets into a lot of trouble."

"I'd expect nothing less," Logan said. He paused, his forehead wrinkling, his nostrils flared—at the exact same moment as Nate and Rachel straightened.

Laura appeared a few moments later and bent over to Julian's ear.

"Act calm," she whispered. "The turkey's on fire."

**…  
**

Julian concentrated on keeping the turkey in a bubble of thought to contain the smoke, wondering how he was going to get the smoke out of the oven  
without setting the alarms off. Laura stared at the blackened bird, obviously disappointed.

"How the…I don't understand how you managed to _set it on fire,_" Julian said. "It's a conventional oven…it doesn't go _high_ enough…"

"It must have been a combination of the foil and the bacon," Laura said grimly, touching her mouth. "This is…fuck, I tried _so _hard…" She looked ready to cry.

"Go get Foley," Julian ordered. "And Sof. I need help here."

A few moments later, the two students had entered the kitchen (followed by Cessily) and were staring blankly at the still-smoking turkey. Josh looked like he  
wanted to laugh (quite hard), but Sofia glanced at him sharply and mouthed the words 'no'. Cessily looked sympathetic.

"What can we do to help?" Sofia asked.

"I need you to get the smoke out of here," Julian said. "Open the window and blow it out…you'll be able to move it out better than  
I can. Foley…you're going to heal the turkey."

"What?" Josh stared at his friend. "Dude—I don't think even _I_ can help that thing—"

Laura sniffled in humiliation. Everyone glanced at her.

Julian slid the turkey out of the oven with his mind, and set it on the stove, while Sofia funneled the smoke out of the window. Cessily stood back, her hand over  
her mouth as she pondered on how she could help.

Josh made a face, then approached the smoking bird, holding his hands out to poke it. "I am so gonna burn my fingers—man, are you _sure?_ What if I heal  
it too much and it turns back into a live turkey?"

"I highly doubt that's going to happen," Julian said. "Just give it a try."

Josh poked it hesitantly, his fingers glowing golden; his eyes widened. "It's working!" he said. A second later he pulled away. "Scrape the skin off, it should be fine now."

_Shrrip, _went the turkey as Julian slipped the burnt layer off with his mind to reveal a white interior. "See? Told you…we're good. This should totally count as a  
Field Day…someone want to get Frost and Summers in here?"

"That's quite alright," Frost said, startling the four students. She was standing in the kitchen doorway with a wineglass in her hand, and an amused look on  
her face. "A lovely display of teamwork, children, very impressive."

"Gee, shucks," Josh said.

Laura's cheeks flushed in embarrassment. She hadn't wanted Frost, of all people, to see that she had just had an inept cooking experience.

"I will help you, Laura," Sofia said, touching the girl's shoulder. "Just tell me what to do."

Laura's nose twitched. "I've got it."

"Please, I insist. I will not feel comfortable if I do not help you, and then eat your food. It is not my nature." Sofia always had a knack for wording things in the  
right way. Laura hesitated. "You could mash the potatoes."

"I'm helping too," Cessily said firmly. "What can I do?"

Laura thought for a moment. "You guys can set the table. Fold the napkins, please."

"I will show them the correct arrangement," Emma said, smiling slightly and catching Laura off-guard.

"Thanks," she said gruffly, Logan-style.

**…  
**

Finally, everyone was seated at the table, even the Shrimps (who were sulky about leaving the presents). The food had been served, the meat mashed for the  
younger diners (Laura reached over and began to mash Julian's as well; when he asked her what she was doing, she flushed and ceased the action immediately)  
and sounds of eating filled the room. Julian was surprised that the turkey actually tasted good (although he suspected this was more due to Josh's  
healing than anything else).

Toasts were made by Summers, to the coming year. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, even Kevin and Laurie (who were usually quite subdued, for  
their different reasons). The Shrimps talked excitedly with Tito, and Sarah engaged Logan in conversation (who answered stiffly at first, then got interested  
in the topic and argued with her freely).

Laura looked exhausted, but content. After dinner had finished the twitching children were released to the tree (again Julian was reminded of starving  
dogs). The presents were torn open, and Nate was indeed excited (Emma was forced to 'quiet him down', as he was mentally so loud that he gave her  
and Rachel a nosebleed).

Julian was also relaxed. He was with his friends and his family—what stood for his family now. He didn't count the other ones any more. As he looked around the  
room at the candlelit faces, he realized he had never seen them all together, in one room like this. He suddenly felt happy, and in a more festive mood, and very  
glad of the ring in the closet, being saved for later.

Everything was lit with a soft glow.

Beyond it was the dark shadow. Things were about the change, for the worse, and he didn't know it yet, didn't realize, but it would be _him_ that ultimately tore it all apart.

**…  
**

"This one's for you, Logan," Laura said, passing her DNA-original a box wrapped in bright red paper, with a golden bow.

Logan raised his eyebrow as he took the package. "This don't feel like beer," he said suspiciously. He'd already received five flats as presents from various people, along  
with a box of cigars (from Storm, who had given them to him before leaving for Wakanda), and a bike-tuning kit from Cyke. Emma had given him a wooden shaving kit,  
perhaps hinting that she expected a cleaner appearance of her staff.

The tag on the top of the present (under the bow) read '_To our DNA mom_' in typical Laura fashion. He snorted and began to remove the paper, curious now. He reached  
the box and popped the lid off with a surprised expression. An album, huh. He tossed the box aside (the twins shot to it in a shark-like fashion almost before it touched  
the ground, intent on making sure it was empty) and flipped open the cover of the book, which was covered in puffy seafood stickers and bore the title "the Shrimps".

Inside were pictures, documenting their life so far, along with a few rare pictures of himself holding either of them.

The first picture was an ultrasound; the Shrimps, as curls in the womb, with tiny buds for limbs. The next ones featured their development, then the album began to  
contain actual pictures of the toddlers as they grew.

Logan didn't know what to say; it was touching, and he felt awkward. "Kid…I didn't get you anything," he said, for lack of anything else.

"Sure you did. You brought them stuff," Laura said. It was true, Logan had brought a gift for each Shrimp, some weird electronic gadgets from Japan. One was a robot  
called "God Jesus", holding a cross; the box had been covered in strange mistranslations and had made Laura whoop with laughter for about twenty minutes before  
she was able to pass it on to her eager Shrimps. Nate had gone wild with excitement, fascinated by the blinking lights.

Laura grinned. "Besides, I never have to get you anything again. I can just give you photos to add to it and spend the extra money on booze for myself."

Logan was amused. "Thanks," he said, examining a photo of Nate at the aquarium, touching a tank with an octopus (and obviously babbling with excitement).

"Don't mention it," Laura said, as if she had done him a favor.

**…  
**

Julian peered around the doorframe.

"Laura."

The girl blinked groggily, in the bathroom, brushing her hair. All the candles had been extinguished, the dishes done, the food put away. The wrapping paper  
had been picked up from the living room floor. She looked exhausted.

"Mmm." She gave her hair a last bat, then put the brush back in the drawer. "Not now. I just wanna die. Or go to bed. In no particular order."

"You don't want this?" he asked, holding up the tiny, wrapped box.

Laura's eyes widened. He expected her to gush, to say something romantic, to tell him how sweet he had been. She opened her mouth…

"Gimme!" she said gleefully.

"…Nate totally gets it from you," he said.

Laura rolled her eyes. "Shut the hell up, Keller."

He stepped closer to her and held up the tiny box; Laura took it and began to rip away the wrapping quite energetically, in a manner similar to Nate  
with his Lego castle. In moments, the velvet surface had been revealed; Laura popped the lid open and her eyes widened again as she saw the  
diamonds and the pearl.

"Are they _real?_" she asked doubtfully.

"Fuck you, I'm taking it back!" Julian snapped, snatching the box from her.

"KELLER!" she squealed, with Nate's outraged look at losing a toy. "You know me," she added sheepishly.

He considered, then opened the box again and pulled the ring out. "Since you're being an asshole and killing the romance, I'm going to tell you that you  
have sausage fingers. When I asked for your size, the lady looked at me like I was going to rob the store."

"HAHAHAHA!" Laura threw back her head and stomped on the floor. Nate made a sound in his sleep, almost waking, and she covered her  
mouth. "Oops. Fucking babies."

"Here." He ran his hand down her left one and held up the ring finger, then slipped the ring on with his other. "There, that's better." He  
grinned. "I felt uncomfortable about letting you walk around without _anything _there."

Laura was about to retort, then her eyes widened again. "OHHH that's why it went missing! Do you still have the other one?"

"Yeah," he said. "But you can't wear that thing. It's embarrassing, and it's won you too many arguments." He kissed her hand, then pulled  
her close and kissed her forehead as well. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she said, a bit more quietly. They stood close for a moment.

"So, am I getting laid for that?" he asked her, his nose in her hair. "OOW—Laura!"

He pulled away and examined his stomach, holding his t-shirt up. "Jesus, careful with that thing…it's got diamonds in it, you know." He now  
had a ring imprint above his navel. "I know you're not used to valuables, you skank, but—"

"That's not the only sharp thing I have," Laura hissed.

"I've checked thoroughly. You're a girl. Unless you mean your tongue…yeah, that _is_ pretty sharp."

Laura stuck out her tongue at him, exposing the barbell. He caught it automatically and backed her up towards the bed, turning off the  
lights with his mind. Telekinesis was so _useful_ sometimes.

**…  
**

New Year's eve found them at home with the Shrimps, too exhausted to host or attend any more parties. Julian left the house once to obtain a bottle of  
champagne (an eight-dollar bottle that left a burning aftertaste), and they cuddled on the couch with some New Years eve special on the TV, although  
they were really watching Nate (and surprisingly Rachel) play with the castle, and observing the peculiar adventure of a small group of Lego knights  
(one of which rode his horse backwards for some reason that only Nate was privy to).


	25. 8: danger room 1:5 discipline

**A/N: zackslacker18-** Oh, the trouble that he's going to cause far deeper rooted than Kingmaker, but the trials and tribulations _are_ in the process of beginning.

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "danger room" 8 Issue: 1/5 )**

 **Chapter 105: discipline ****  


* * *

**

In the Danger Room, awaiting for their simulated adversary to appear. The two squads were once again dressed in their uniforms; Julian and Laura felt self-conscious,  
each secretly thinking the other had gained weight over the holiday but keeping quiet from fear of drawing attention to their _own_ weight.

"That was a wonderful dinner, Laura," Sofia (who had not seen the other girl since the event) said with a kind smile.

"I tried." Laura folded her arms; a sparkle caught Cessily's eye.

"OHMIGOD!!" she squealed, grabbing Laura's hand and holding it up for examination. "He got you a _proper ring!_"

"About time," Laura said, sneering.

"That's actually not bad looking," Nori said. "I'm impressed, Keller. Did you have to give Frost a little extra-special ass-kissing service to get the money?"

Julian rolled his eyes, not sure which personal assault to respond to first.

In the background, Sofia looked away, and Laurie—Wall Flower—looked at her. This caught the corner of Cessily's eye and she glanced at the other girls, but before  
anything else could traverse, the hologram suddenly appeared in the middle of the room.

"OH SHIT—" Julian got out, just as they were all thrown against the walls in a pulse of magnetic energy. Laura's hands flew back against the wall, pinned at  
the arms (which housed her adamantium claws), as well as her legs.

Cessily was far worse off, with Santo close behind.

"How delightful," said Magneto, pulling a clump of Mercury towards him. "I can actually use one of your own _teammates_ to kill you."

The team was released from the wall; they fell to their knees, just as balls of Mercury began pelting around the room like bullets. Julian shielded everyone with a big  
green bubble. "Hurry up and think, X!" he told Laura, who was still beside him. "I'm a bit preoccupied here!"

"Nori, go and shock him." Laura said.

"What the hell good will _that_ do?" Nori asked. "It's fucking Magneto!"

"If you paid attention in physics…electrical shocks can reverse magnetic polarity. Give him a good charge and he'll turn into a giant magnet that  
attracts metal instead of repelling it. Which is what he's doing right now."

"She's right," David said.

"But my _gloves_ are metal!" Nori said.

"Do you or do you not have super speed?"

"Alright, alright…let me out, Keller." Nori shot to the edge of the bubble; Julian let her out and watched the blur as she barely dodged the torrent of  
metal that swept after her like a cloud of angry bees.

_**KA-BAMMMM!!! **_An enormous bolt of electricity arced from the ceiling of the Danger Room to the floor, routing through Magneto. He twitched, and suddenly everything was being pulled _in. _

_Flipptflipptflipptflippt…_ the balls of mercury zipped through the older mutant's torso, turning into bullets aiming for his blood. He reeled and fell from the air,  
his cape twisting around him like the wings of a falling bird. Julian dropped the shield as he felt the pull weaken.

Laura made a noise of pain. He glanced at her and noticed she was crossing her legs. He would have found it funny (he'd told her _not_ to get that pierced) if he  
wasn't so agitated. He was _furious_ with Frost—she'd just brought back one of the worst days of his life…something that had taken a long, long time for  
him to bottle down. And reminded him of something else.

Cessily reformed with a gasp. "Sorry, guys!" she said, her eyes wide.

**…  
**

"That was wonderful!" Emma gushed. "I was afraid your focus might lapse over the holidays, but it clearly has not!"

Dani Moonstar smiled at them too. At first, she'd made no effort to show pleasure towards the Hellions; now she was beginning to warm up to them.

"It _was_ pretty smooth," Josh said, grinning.

Julian remained silent, glaring at Ms. Frost. She _had_ to know.

**…  
**

"Spit it out. What the hell's eating you?" Laura asked, stopping in the January snow, the hanging twin pompoms of her toque still  
swaying. "You look like you have PMS. OHO—that must be awful, 'coz it's never coming!"

"That was the worst practice _ever,_" Julian burst. "It brought everything back. _Everything. _I never, ever want to see Magneto again."

"I cut his head off, so odds are pretty good that you won't," Laura said nonchalantly.

Julian looked down and didn't answer.

"Oh, come on." Laura touched his shoulder, figuring this was a question of pride on his part. She knew how much self-worth Julian banked on  
his powers. For a long time, he'd used them to get attention—meaning he could never be less than the best. "You took him to town. He was  
pretty much leftovers by the time I got to him. He was smoking like my turkey."

"He was going to kill you, and I was knocked out on my ass." Julian's voice was tight, controlled. He folded his arms.

Laura pursed her lips, surprised. She hadn't been expecting this. "I can take care of myself, you know," she said, for lack of a better response.

"You shouldn't _have _to! I should be able to do it!"

"What do you want me to say? 'Oh my god—it's not enough that you were passing out because you were bleeding from your _lungs_ when he was taking  
pot shots. You're a fucking let-down and I want a divorce!'? Oh, and by the way, I get _everything._"

"Don't laugh it off." Julian brushed her hand off his shoulder. "You don't understand me…you _never_ do. I don't even know why I tell you half the shit I do sometimes."

"Neither do I. You say a lot of dumb things." Laura wrinkled her nose.

Julian took off abruptly, into the air, leaving a patch of disturbed snow.

"KELLER!" Laura squealed, then she kicked the ground, angry. Angry at him for being stupid, and angry at herself for not knowing what to say. And yes,  
angry at Logan for not having better people skills. Perhaps if he'd had some, she would have been cloned with them.

**…  
**

"If we have turkey again for supper, I'll throw a tantrum," Julian grumbled as he slammed the front door shut behind him, finally returning from his solo flight.

"Batten down the hatches," Laura said, nodding to a plate.

With a turkey sandwich on it.

"Ewww." Julian approached it and lifted the top slice of bread speculatively, then peered at the layers critically. "That's, uh, lettuce. What the hell is _that_, a  
tomato? You put _cheese_ on a _turkey_ sandwich?!"

"Are you implying that you're not satisfied?" Laura raised her eyebrow.

"Nah. I'm not hungry, save it." He let the piece of bread drop and kicked off his boots, then walked into the living room, shrugging off his jacket and chucking it  
at the peg (it glowed green and found the hook just as Laura was about to snarl).

"I put _hours_ of work into that meal." Laura stared at him hard.

"It takes you hours to make a sandwich?" Julian cleared toys off the sofa, then stretched out, putting his legs up on the armrest. "You're fired, woman."

"You mean promoted." Laura picked up the plate and moved over to the sofa. "Fucking eat. I keep worrying you're going to pass out or something…you burn up  
a lot of calories with your brain-thing, you know."

_Slam! _The freezer door closed and the icepack, along with his prescription, whizzed into his waiting hands. "Meh. The only thing I want to eat right now is painkillers.  
I can think of something _you_ can eat, though." He dropped the icepack over his eyes and grinned at her. "Feel free to start whenever."

Laura took an enormous bite of the sandwich with a sort of snarling noise, and he jumped, moving the blinder out of the way slightly to see her.

"Jesus Christ," he said. "Bad timing."

She wrinkled her nose at him, her mouth full. "I fought it waff _awfum _timing!" She paused, swallowed. "Keller…we should talk, about earlier."

"I don't want to."

"Well, I do, so we will." Laura put her hand on his knee. "I don't want you to beat yourself up about this. I thought it was just a pride thing, but I was clearly mistaken—"

"Yeah, you were." Julian looked annoyed. "I'm not one of your kids, Laura, you don't have to baby me. I can handle my shit on my own."

"But—"

"It was a mistake to bring it up. Can we drop it now?"

"Fine." Laura crammed more sandwich into her already-full mouth and struggled to move her jaws. He raised his eyebrow.

"You ever heard of the term 'bit off more than you can chew'?"

"If's more fatifying thiff way."

"Yeah, I guess it _would_ be 'fatifying'." Julian flipped on the TV with his mind and accessed the menu, finding the parental controls and turning them  
off. The Shrimps were staying with Logan for the evening (he'd surprised them by inviting his two little relatives to spend time with him, not even  
wincing when the Shrimps had called him Mr. Mum), and were probably playing knights right now with him, as Nate had insisted on bringing half his castle with him.

"Fut teh fuck up, affhole!" Laura said, leaking crumbs.

**…  
**

In bed, later, both tired from the school day, the squad exercise, and other activities. Laura curled up against his side, her hair splashed  
across his chest; his arms were folded behind his head and he was staring at the ceiling.

"Did Nate show you his drawings?" Laura asked sleepily.

"No." Julian rubbed his nose. "He doesn't, after I got the first one wrong. Kid holds a grudge longer than _you_ do."

"He's getting better. He's adding limbs to the gigantic heads now. I swear he drew a really good one of Emma the other day…it was a line  
with two big circles on it, and a really tiny one in the center, to represent her head."

Julian grinned half-heartedly. It faded quickly.

"You're still upset," Laura picked it up right away. "God…Keller, you can't live your life _worrying _constantly that some bad guy's going to show up and rain  
on your parade. That'd be like not getting out of bed because you're too afraid."

"It's not that."

Laura rolled over to her back, looking sideways at him and studying him seriously. He coughed and looked away, almost holding his breath.

"Cut me?" he asked very quietly.

"You have a headache?" she asked, frowning.

"I—yes," Julian said, his eyebrows drawing together. Laura inhaled, but couldn't detect any adrenaline pheromones; he flopped his arm onto her stomach,  
inner arm up, the hand between her breasts. His left. His right was still peppered with light pink scratches from England. "It'll help," he said softly.

"Fine."

Laura made a fist. _Snkkt. _Her claw gleamed slightly in the darkness. "Ready for some tough lovin'?" she quipped, sitting up, her other hand wrapping around his  
in her lap as the claw approached the uncut skin. Julian made no response; he sighed and seemed to relax after a few minutes of her trailing the appendage  
over his soft skin, raising trails of red that were so shallow they barely bled at all.

"Harder," he said suddenly, wrapping his hand around her wrist. Laura resisted and glanced at his face. "Not a good time to play with my  
balance, Keller. I'm near major vessels here."

"Sorry," Julian said, but she got the sense he wasn't.

He let go of her hand and allowed her to finish her process.

**…  
**

_Scrreech. _

Laura's eyes widened. She was standing ramrod straight, with her hand curled around the car door. Her left hand.

She finally looked down, at her ring imbedded in the door of Julian's car.

"Oh shit," she said out loud, fingering the keys nervously and struggling to remove her hand. A big peel of paint lifted up and ripped partway down the door,  
exposing the metal car body (and erasing any hope Laura had that the handle might conceal the damage).

Wildly she thought of what she could do. She backed out of the garage, biting her lip and thinking of going to Logan for help. Julian would certainly notice his  
car being missing, and he would definitely see a big stripe of missing paint down the side, as he gave it a weekly five-minute inspection. 

_And_ he'd probably notice a auto repair shop bill on her credit card.

He'd go AWOL. He'd sulk at her for weeks. She'd never hear the end of it. _And_ he wouldn't let her ever drive it again. Ever.

"Laura!" Cessily called, the snow crunching under her boots. "What's up, girl? I was just about to come out and see if you wanted to get that coffee we talked  
about a looong time ago!" She was grinning, but her smile faded as she took in Laura's pale, alarmed countenance.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"…I just took a big chunk of paint off Keller's car," Laura said, still staring at the garage. "I am in so much shit, it's not even funny."

"Holy," Cessily said, her eyes widening. She, too, knew how much affection Julian harbored for his car, and could imagine an appropriate reaction on his  
part. It consisted of him literally going through the roof (and leaving a big hole).

"Uh…it's okay…we'll just take it to a repair place, no biggy…" Cessily rubbed her arm. "How did you scratch it?"

"The damned ring," Laura said, looking down at it. She squinted, then hurriedly picked a peel of conspicuous yellow paint off the diamond.

"Is he home?" Cessily glanced at the far-off little house. The lights were on.

"Yes." Laura paused. "What do you mean, 'we'?"

"Well, if I come with you, then we can go for coffee after. There's an auto shop right near the Grind House," Cessily said. "We should totally hang out more…I  
want to go shopping but Sooraya has completely different tastes than I do…and, you know…"

"So I'm you're only other option?" Laura asked snidely.

Cessily looked hurt. "I didn't mean it that way! I just want to be friends!"

"Why?" Laura asked, wrinkling her nose. Sizing Cessily up.

"Because…well, jeez, Laura…you're Julian's wife and I _trust_ his judgment…if he picked you, you must be pretty awesome to hang out with."

Laura threw back her head, laughing, and stomped the ground, the keys jingling in her hand. "HAHAHHA! You trust Keller's judgment!" She grinned. "You let him pick  
your friends? Even when he treated the New Mutants like something he stepped in? I call _that_ poor judgment."

Cessily frowned. "Maybe he was wrong about _you, _though. You're mean to me."

"I'm mean to _everyone,_" Laura said, surprised. Cessily seemed very non-confrontational; she hadn't expected the girl to just come out and accuse her of being unfriendly.

"I want to be you friend, damnit," Cessily announced. "And I'm _going_ to be whether you like it or not!"

"Oho," Laura said, twirling the keys in her hand. She glanced at the house again, then turned to the garage and re-entered it, heading for the driver's door.

Cessily stood out on the lawn, watching the garage door sadly. She couldn't understand _why_ the other girl was so mean to her…she was an interesting person, and seemed  
fun. Julian told crazy stories about her; he'd also told (just Cessily) about how sweet Laura could be.

She just didn't understand it.

The car started, a smooth sound. Then…

"Are you coming or not?!" Laura yelled.

**…  
**

"A week," Laura said, looking catatonic. "How the hell am I going to explain to Keller why his car is missing for a _week?_"

"Just about anything," Cessily said. "You could say it was abducted by aliens and he'd believe you. This school is so crazy."

"Ah-heh, no shit." Laura zipped up her jacket to her chin and kicked the ground with her boot. "I've never seen so much trouble happen in  
one place. It's like a magnet for Murphy's law."

They headed down the street towards the Grind House. The door bell tinkled as they entered, and Laura paused for a moment to adjust to all the  
new scents. Coffee. People. Biscuits, cakes, magazines, computers…Nori. Her eyes shot to the girl, who was behind the counter, wiping it down.

"Huh, I've never been here," Laura said, heading towards her. "Do people tip you well?"

Nori looked up and grinned. "Average. I have a creepy old perv who tips me _really_ well, though…almost more than what I make on salary for the day."

"HAH!" Laura leaned on the counter. "I love old men. I used to bar-tend, when I was sixteen…for like, a few months. I got fired when I started a fight."

Nori and Cessily stared at the girl.

Laura grinned. "They didn't press charges, 'coz my aunt's a lawyer, and she said I could sue _them_ for hiring a minor."

"That's awesome," Nori said. "I get off my shift in fifteen minutes…since you guys look bored as hell, do you want to go shopping or something?"

"Sure, what the fuck," Laura said. "We can use Cessily here as a mirror."

"_Hey!_" Cessily said, but she looked happy.


	26. 8: danger room 2:5 diamond

**

* * *

  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "danger room 2/5 )**

 **Chapter 106: diamond ******

* * *

  


"That looks great," Cessily said as Laura held a top against her chest with a questioning look. "Julian would love it."

Laura wrinkled her nose. "I don't dress for _Keller,_" she said. "He just happens to benefit from it, the lucky bastard. Should charge him like a subscription fee."

"I know what that's like," Nori said. "I ask David all the time, how such a _big nerd_ can have such a _hot girlfriend._"

"Ah-heh," Laura said. "It's just one of the weird, fucked-up things that happen at the school. Against the laws of nature, really."

"How did you hook up?" Cessily asked. She'd heard from Julian, but not Laura, and was curious to hear her version of the events. "I mean…I saw you  
hating him, in the cafeteria…then all of a sudden you've got two kids?"

Laura put the hanger with the top back on the display rack. "They're not natural."

Cessily looked confused.

"Remember, she got abducted?" Nori said helpfully. "They're science babies. I personally find that _hilarious,_ that Keller got stuck with two kids, and didn't  
even get lucky to have them. That's gotta be like the best payback _ever_ for all the times he's been an asshole. Almost divine, I'd say."

Laura grinned.

"Oh, wow," Cessily said. "I had no idea. That's—"

"The best thing that ever happened to me." Laura interrupted, surprising the girls (including herself). "I thought it was the end of my life, but it wasn't,  
it was the start. My own problems seem so small when the Shrimps are hungry."

The two others were silent. "Oh," Cessily said, after a few moments. "I wish I had that. Or, y'know, could have that." She paused. "Dr. McCoy said I don't  
have reproductive organs anymore…so I never will." She tried to smile.

Awkward silence. Laura stared at her, far more horrified than Nori. "That's fucked up," she said after a moment, feeling pity for Cessily. She saw the girl in  
a different light—suddenly she wasn't just an annoying tag-along, an acquaintance through Keller that she could do without. This tiny piece of information—  
added to the one other thing she knew about the girl, her inability to eat—changed the way she perceived her.

Cessily was a victim who couldn't die—and couldn't live, only watch others live and feel through them.

"Yeah, well, what can I do?" the girl asked brightly. "At least being made of metal means I can touch Kevin…guess every cloud has a mercury lining."

"Hah!" Nori said.

**…  
**

Laura kicked off her shoes, wondering what she was going to do about the car. Tell him? Wait for him to find out? Julian was stretched out on the  
sofa, his legs up, the TV on. Nate and Rachel were in the corner, playing quietly with the Lego castle (presumably through their mind link, because  
Laura had yet to see a quiet moment, outside of school, that involved the Shrimps).

"Hey, beautiful," Julian said, looking up at her and smiling. She felt even worse, guiltier. She wanted to lie and tell him it was stolen.

"Do you want to hear to good news, or the bad news first?" Laura asked.

Julian's smile wavered. "Uh…the good?"

"I found out diamond cuts just about anything," Laura said bluntly.

He raised his eyebrow. Laura unzipped her jacket, trying not to laugh nervously. The smirk still appeared.

"So what's the bad news?" Julian asked, his voice sharp.

"I took off like half the paint on the car with the damned ring."

"…" Julian's eyes turned green, that weird light that started at the back of his retinas, travelled up his pupils and spread outwards, starting with the iris.

"You fucking did not."

"Oh, you know I did." Laura threw her jacket on the table, not really caring where she put things at this point. Cessily had made her paranoid with  
something she'd said at the car shop—she was afraid Julian was really going to blow the roof off.

She knew how much he loved his car…and how violent his tantrums could be, having been a partial witness to the destruction of his father's office (when  
his father had recommended to abort the Shrimps).

"_**LAURA!**_" Julian shouted, sitting up with surprising speed. The cupboard doors and the fridge all flew open at the same time, and the TV channels flickered,  
along with the lights. The house frame creaked. _Tinkle, _somewhere in the distance. The Shrimps jumped and stared up at with him with wide eyes. "You…  
you…for god's sakes, you have _adamantium claws_ in your _hands!_ You think you'd know how to avoid scratching things, you—"

_Tinkle. _

"Sorry?" Laura said, grinning. "Let's not yell—"

"Oh, let's," Julian said, his voice full of rage. "Give me the god-damn keys. You are _never_, _ever_ going near that thing again. I—"

"I changed my mind. Your car got stolen. Jeez, you think you'd be happy I told you the _truth_, Keller. It was an honest accident. Between two stupid objects." Laura  
said, walking into the kitchen and slamming the fridge shut. "Don't screw with the electrical things…the bill at the auto shop will eat the spare money this month."

Julian stared at her for a minute. There was a loud clatter—all present twitched as a big mess of toys tumbled to the floor, released from the cloud of anti-gravity  
they'd been caught up in. The house creaked again.

"Jesus," he mumbled, not having been aware of his hold on his surroundings.

"That's kind of funny. The bill wouldn't have been that bad…then you went and broke all those windows," Laura commented. "Lucky you didn't blow the  
TV. I think someone needs anger therapy."

Julian glared at her, then stomped to the freezer and extracted his icepack. "Fuck you. I'm still mad as hell that you weren't more careful."

"I was trying to remember if you needed more of your eye goop or not," Laura said. "It's not like I went AWOL…I just had a little accident. With something that  
can cut glass. Sh—stuff happens, Keller, you think you'd be used to it by now." She twitched her nose. "And _you_ need to write a blank check to the swear jar  
for that little outburst. You've traumatized the Shrimps, and I'll need to buy them something shiny now."

Julian sat down at the table and pressed the icepack to his head. He coughed, and Laura felt worse. He had been doing that a lot lately—being in pain.

"I'm sorry," she said, less casually than before. "Keller…I feel like an a-hole…it's only going to be gone for a week…I'll pick it up…" she laid her hand on his  
shoulder, and felt him tense, then relax.

"Laura…I love that car…it's all I have left," he said, his voice softer. "I worked so hard for everything, and that's the only thing I have that's mine…and it gets puked  
on, and covered with sticky substances…and bitten…and scratched…"

"How do you think my boobs felt the first few months?" Laura asked, rolling her eyes. She pushed him back and sat down on his lap. "I'm sorry," she said again.

"Okay." Julian paused, only one eye visible from behind the icepack. "I'm…sorry, I guess. For...overreacting."

"Overreacting? Keller, I just wish you'd have gotten that upset when Magneto was around!"

Julian glared at her, then slowly grinned. "Fuck you."

"What did I just say about the swear jar?" Laura asked, but she patted him on the head like a small child.

They looked to the side, at the Shrimps, who were still watching them with wide eyes. "If you even think of using that word, Nate, I will time every _moment_ of  
your lives," Laura threatened. "Forever. I will literally attach the egg timer to you."

Nate looked away.

**…  
**

"You've got to be _kidding,_" Julian said loudly, as their next opponent synthesized in the middle of the Danger Room.

The other squad members glanced at him curiously—all except Laura, who had an odd, struggling expression.

"Forget it. FROST, I can't!" Julian said loudly, shaking his head at the control room and making a cut motion with his hand.

Madelyne Pryor was standing in the middle of the Danger Room, arms folded, in her Goblin Queen outfit. Julian's mother.

"HAHAHA! OH MY GOD!" The laugh that had been threatening Laura finally broke out, wild and inappropriate. Julian glared at her, his eyes green; she doubled  
over and slapped her knee.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"What the hell is so funny?" Josh asked, confused.

"Don't tell him, you asshole," Julian snapped.

"But it looks like a _really_ good joke," Santo said, watching as Laura stumbled sideways, barely able to breathe.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Ms. Frost…I think that, since Julian refuses to fight this opponent…and Laura is unable to…" Sofia said, eyeing Laura uncertainly.

"Come _on!_" Josh grinned. "I've got to hear this one!"

"Me too," Nori said. "If it involves Keller and it's _this _good…"

"HAHAHA!" Laura gasped for breath, her face pink. "My mother-in-law…is a villain…in the _Danger Room_!" she finally squeaked.

Julian rolled his eyes and looked away, annoyed. Annoyed that now _he _wanted to laugh, too, even though he was as mad as hell.

"That's his _mother?_" Nori asked, staring at Madelyne Pryor's image. "HAHAHA!"

Nori and Josh broke into roars of laughter, added to by Santo, and Julian stormed out of the Danger Room, his cheeks bright red. Emma caught him on his way out  
and pulled him back in after her. "_Stop,_" she ordered.

Everyone fell silent, even Laura, who finished with a loud snort that was an impressive imitation of a pig. It echoed loudly.

"This may amuse some of you…this may anger _you_, Julian…but the truth is, life isn't fair. You may be forced to encounter those close to you  
in battle. It is better you learn to deal with this _now._ All of you."

"Yes, Miss Frost," Sofia said soberly. _She_ hadn't laughed. Julian glanced at her in appreciation.

"Are you willing to try?" Emma asked Julian seriously.

"Fine." He glared at Laura. "_Someone _better keep their yap shut though."

**…  
**

"That was so—"

"Shut the fuck up, Laura. I'm not talking to you." Julian increased his pace. They were on the path again, heading towards the house, and his face  
was still mildly pink. "And I _won't_ be, for a very long time."

"Keller!" Laura jogged after him. "Are you telling me that wasn't _funny?_"

Julian ignored her.

"That was the best laugh I've had in, like, a year," Laura added. "Thanks."

Silence.

"Oh _come on,_ you know it was—"

He stopped abruptly and whirled around. "You know what? _Fuck you!_ You've been nothing but a pain in my ass lately—you make fun of me, you ruined my car, and  
now you publically humiliated me! Then I had to fight my own _mother!_ I think I'm good without you, thanks."

"Keller—oh, come _on_—I wasn't laughing at _you_!" she said, folding her arms.

"That was _my_ mom," Julian ground out, his eyes bright green.

"I didn't mean it that way. I meant—well, you heard what I said." Laura looked like she wanted to grin again, but managed to conceal it. "It was like a moment of  
clarity about how absurd my life is, you know?"

Julian was silent.

"Like _you_ haven't made about a million clone jokes about me sprouting hair out of my—"

"Oh, fine," he said, annoyed. "I'm still mad at you, pissed as hell, but whatever. _You're_ making me dinner…and I want spaghetti and meatballs."

"Okay." Laura reached out and took his hand, and they walked back to the house, Julian still stiff and angry but at least not pulling away.


	27. 8: danger room 3:5 tahiti

**~ NEWS ~**

The newest Helix fan fiction series by me will be available here shortly:

**h t t p :// prisoner . forever . as (or go to author page for clickable link)  
**

One chapter will be posted on to draw awareness; however, the rating is NC-17 with mature subject matter, and therefore I have decided to make the contents available on a website devoted to the series. A short summary is available on the entry page. This story is a trilogy, and is written from three view points. The tone of story telling is set more to my 'Snff II', and even though it is unrelated and deals with a different plot and situation entirely, I consider it to be a companion piece to the original Helix Volume 1 story: 616 Laura, and the child Sarah, in a sense. Look for it coming soon. As always, ads will be posted in all chapter updates for current stories, and I will post chapter 1 of Prisoner: Y shortly.

**A/N: **The hair face exists! My boyfriend insists he does _not_ have a hair face, but I swear, every time he looks in the mirror to do his hair, there it is.

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "danger room" 8 Issue: 3/5 )**

 **Chapter 107: tahiti ****  
**

**

* * *

  
**

Laura gazed at the calendar on the wall above the sink, her hands still submerged up to the elbows in soapy dishwater. Nate was hugging her knee  
and babbling something Tito had told him about aliens (Julian had made the mistake of allowing the Shrimps to watch ET; now Nate refused to fall  
asleep unless his father reassured him that the finger wouldn't touch him, something the latter found hard to do with a straight face).

The second of March. Winter would be over soon, and Spring would begin. Laura frowned, wondering why she'd circled the third—tomorrow—in red  
marker. Then her eyes widened—Julian's birthday. She'd forgotten.

She cringed, realizing this was just another thing to add to her "Asshole" list of late. _There's still time, _she reassured herself, although she knew it would  
be tight, having to find his friends and get them together. And pick a present.

Plus, she didn't know what the hell he wanted.

**…  
**

Laura held the Shrimps' hands very tightly as she led them down the hallway, towards Cessily's class. She needed the girl's help again—she had run out of  
ideas. Her head hurt. And she'd been unable to find the Shrimps a babysitter, hence the reason they were with her.

_Rrring! _The bell went off, signaling the end of class, and Laura hurried the Shrimps along as the students poured out of the room. _There—_a glint of metal  
amongst the students. "Cessily!" Laura called loudly, unable to wave her hand.

Cessily stopped and turned towards her. She looked annoyed.

"What?" she asked.

Laura was surprised. "I need help," she said honestly.

"Well…I don't know why I should help you when you treat Julian like that…" the girl said angrily. "He was really hurt, you know."

The Danger Room. Laura flushed slightly. "That was—we've talked it over. He misunderstood what I was finding funny. Anyways—"

"No, _not_ anyways," Cessily said. "Laura, you laughed in his _face!_ That's no way to treat someone who cares about you as much as he does! I would _never_ do  
that to anyone I love! Maybe you _don't _love him."

Several students had stopped to watch Laura and Cessily talk, including Nori, who had grinned slightly at the Danger Room memory.

"I wouldn't make judgments about how much she _loves_ him," Nori spoke up. "I mean…I know _I_ certainly wouldn't go through the trouble of raising the twins  
of some douchebag I hated, like Keller."

Attention was directed to Rachel and Nate, the latter of which was picking his nose. "Nate, stop that," Laura said, shaking the hand she was holding.

Cessily folded her arms, seemingly unconvinced.

"Anyways…I need help planning his birthday," Laura said calmly. "It's tomorrow. I spent all afternoon trying to come up with something, but I'm all out of ideas."

"This is his twenty first, right? Take him to a titty bar." Nori voiced. "His head would explode."

Laura made a face. "Next," she said.

"Casino?" Cessily asked, despite herself.

"We're literally broke," Laura said. "It doesn't seem right to take him to watch _other_ people gamble. Besides, his friends are all younger than  
him…and not _everyone_ has fakers."

"See if you can have Frost simulate _both_ his parents," Nori suggested, grinning.

Laura found this funny, but did her best to conceal it, because Cessily was still glaring at her angrily. Then she stopped. "That's a _great_ idea!" she said.

"Huh?" the girls asked together.

"I mean…the Danger Room! I can't afford to _really_ do something…but we could get Frost to help us simulate like a beach…since it's still too cold to go for real."

Cessily wavered, then looked slightly more enthusiastic. "So, like a picnic?"

"That does sound pretty good," Nori said. "Bring beer and I'm there."

The others glanced at her, surprised. "But you hate Keller," Laura said.

"Free food tops that," Nori grinned.

"You have to bring a present. We all do. Shit, what am I going to get him?"

"Wear a bikini," Nori suggested.

Cessily paused, then nodded. "Trust me...I've _been _with Julian at the beach. He's like a door-to-door salesman, trying to find a girl in a small top that will talk to  
him. Or he was. It'd literally make his week."

Laura made a thoughtful face. "I have a microkini…will that do?"

One of the students that had stopped made a noise. Laura glanced—it was the same boy who had once waved at her from the Squad line up, during a  
Field Day. She hissed, and he scampered off.

"That should do it, yeah," Cessily said, watching the boy go.

"Who is that loser anyway?" Nori asked.

"DJ. His name is Mark. He's from the Paragons squad…he gets different powers depending on what kind of music he listens to," Cessily said.

"That's just great," Laura said sarcastically. "Not only do I have a stalker…but he has a good chance of standing outside my window with a boombox."

Nori grinned.

"Come on…let's go find Frost and ask her," Cessily said. She paused, looking at the Shrimps. "Can I hold one of them?"

Laura looked at her children, who looked back at her silently. "What do you think, Shrimps? Anyone want a free ride?"

Nate made a face. Rachel hesitated, then nodded, and ran up to Cessily and hugged her knee. The redheaded girl picked the smaller one up.

"Wow, she's getting heavy!" she said, remembering how light Rachel used to be (having carried her several times).

"Tell me about it. I think they eat bricks off the house when I'm not looking," Laura said as the three girls and two Shrimps headed off to find Emma.

**…  
**

"Laura, you're a _genius,_" Nori said, all smiles.

They had just spoken with Emma—and on the spur of the moment, Laura had thought to word her request very carefully. As a result, the team practice would be replaced by  
the party, giving a well-deserved day off to all of the members (who had been practicing for two months straight, since Christmas break).

"Only when I'm avoiding work," Laura said, hefting Nate. He'd gotten jealous of Rachel (still in Cessily's arms), and had demanded to be carried as well (with the typical Shrimp  
attitude of _if she's getting it, so am I!)_.

Cessily stroked Rachel's hair. The girl was resting her head on her metal shoulder and sucking her thumb. "We better get to work. We've got to tell everyone else…and there's  
presents, and food and stuff."

"We could just assign everyone to bring something," Nori said. "Like a potluck."

"That works," Laura said. "Are you guys done for the day? I've got the car."

"I've got math, but I can skip," Nori said. "I sleep through it anyways."

"He still lets you have it after the scratch-thing?" Cessily asked, meaning the car.

"Yup. Well, more like he left the keys on the counter this morning, along with his wallet…he slept in and was about ten minutes late for his own class. I woke up to what I  
thought was a rocket outside the window…"

"That was _him?_" Nori asked. "Damn…I got ink all over my homework 'coz I thought we were under attack."

**…  
**

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Laura whipped her head around and slammed the closet doors shut behind her conspicuously, having been too focused to plan what to do if he caught her (and therefore not  
hearing him come in). "Uh—looking for my gloves," she lied. A bad lie, because they were quite obviously hanging out of the half-closed wardrobe drawer beside the Shrimps' cribs.

Julian raised his eyebrows.

"OH! Look, _there_ they are! I looked so hard for them that I didn't see they were right under my nose," she said, heading for the drawer and yanking the glove out.

"Mmmkay. I'm going to start on supper, since _someone _didn't—"

"NO!" Laura said too loudly. There were several bags of food in the fridge, along with cases of alcohol that she didn't want him to see. "I'll do it. I want you to, uh, study for your exam."

"It was last week," Julian said reasonably. "I told you, I think I passed."

"Well, study for your next one, then," Laura said.

"It's a month away."

"That's a shitty excuse, Keller!" she snapped.

"Are you okay? You're acting really weird."

"I'm fine. Just stay the fuck out of the kitchen. I hate your cooking with a passion." Laura paused. "Incidentally…do you _own_ a pair of swim trunks?"

"…" Julian folded his arms. "What's up? I mean, what's _really_ going on here?"

Laura thought for a second, then came up with a reasonable answer. "I'm just planning for this summer. I thought we could take the Shrimps out to like the beach…and I need  
to know if we have to get gear for it."

Julian seemed to buy this. "Yeah, but you can't go shopping right now—we're too tight. Do it like next month."

"I'm _planning!_" Laura said in exasperation.

"Well, I do have a pair, yes," he said. "So you needn't worry. Come on, woman, I'm hungry, and if you won't let me make anything…"

"Show me," Laura said.

Julian had been leaving, but he paused, his hand still on the doorframe. "Huh?"

"Your trunks. Where are they?"

"Why is it so important?"

"It just _is!_" Laura snapped. "I want to make sure you don't have like a banana hammock or something."

"What the—" Julian gave her a weirded-out look. "Whatever." He gestured in the air with his hand, and the bottom drawer of the wardrobe opened to reveal miscellaneous clothing,  
including a pair of yellow nylon shorts. "Satisfied?"

"Uh-huh," Laura said, wondering how she had missed that drawer in her search (which had spanned several hours). "That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Julian grinned. "Hot girl asks me to show her my trunks…I don't argue. Am I going to get lucky now?"

"Since you asked…no," Laura said snidely.

"Like I wanted it anyway," he replied, somewhat bitterly.

**…  
**

"What's in the bag?" Julian asked, zipping up the front of his uniform and noting that Laura had a tote over her shoulder. Her behavior over the day had been increasingly odd.

"Hair stuff," she said smoothly. "Shrimps ready?"

"Think so. Why can't Angel take them?"

"She's doing stuff today," Laura said. "Besides…Logan offered. He wants to spend more time with them." Her DNA original and mentor _had_ offered, before; and yesterday she'd  
finally taken him up on that opportunity, having invited Angel and Beak to the party. The six Salvadore-Bohusk children were being watched by Emma and Scott for the day.

Julian made no further comment as he shrugged on his jacket. "Wonder what Frost's got cooked up for us today. I swear to God, if she tries that again…"

"You did good," Laura said quietly, meaning his performance during the Madelyne Pryor situation. She reached up and ruffled his hair.

"Oh my fucking god!" Julian pulled away. "Now I have to redo it!" He stomped into the bathroom and peered into the mirror. "It's all messed up," he said, reaching for his gel.

"Laura…you're such an asshole. You _don't_ mess with the hair!"

"You're asking for it," Laura said, leaning on the doorframe and watching him. He always made the same critical face of concentration while fixing his hair, something she secretly  
found adorable. She'd never told him, but it was the reason she messed with his hair in the first place. "I mean, what kind of idiot does his hair to go fighting in the Danger Room?"

Julian didn't answer, too busy correcting the damage.

**…  
**

"The hell is this?" Julian asked, as the Danger Room door opened to reveal a sandy expanse of beach, with a blue, sunny sky. The water was also quite blue—tropical—and  
there were palm trees in view. The atmosphere was quite hot; Laura felt like she'd walked into a furnace, with her uniform on.

"Here. Go put these on," she said, passing him the bag.

Julian peered into it and saw his swim trunks. "What the—"

"Don't ask questions, just _do _it," Laura snapped.

Julian suddenly clued in, having forgotten what day it was. "Oooh," he said, grinning and pulling them out. "Does this have something to do with my birthday?"

"You tell me, Sherlock," Laura replied, with sarcasm.

**…  
**

"_This_ is much better," Julian sighed, stretching out on the sand and wrinkling his nose so his sunglasses moved. "Someone tell Ms. Frost I approve of this simulation, one hundred percent."

"Me three," Josh said. "Too bad I can't tan!"

"You look like you got fake baked already," Nori pointed out. "Or a bad spray-on. Can you say 'Goldfinger'?"

"Shut up," Josh said, rubbing Laurie's shoulder.

"So what is this place?" Julian asked. "Hawaii? Caribbean? C'mon, some info here so I know just how excited I should be."

"I think it is Tahiti," Sofia said. Julian gazed at her—she'd just returned from changing into her bikini—and visibly inhaled, not having a shirt to hide his reaction.

Cessily looked uneasy.

"I recognize this beach," Sofia continued, oblivious. "This is where I went on vacation last summer. It is very beautiful."

"Sure is," Julian agreed easily, still watching her. Then his forehead wrinkled, as he remembered the dream he'd had about Sofia and himself—back when Laura had been no more  
than an idea to him. There was something else, too, but _that_ went beyond his thought process and was nothing more than a sense of déjà vu.

Josh looked up as a motion caught his eye in the distance. "Keller—you let your _wife_ walk around in that thing?"

"Huh?" Julian sat up and turned his head in the direction Josh and the rest of the team was now staring (Santo with his mouth wide open).

"Hey, now, I like what she's wearing," Santo said. "Er—I mean what she _isn't_ wearing, if you get my drift."

"Sure," Josh said, staring.

Laura finally reached them and plopped down beside Julian, then made a face and reached behind herself. "Thongs _suck_ ass. Oh, HAHAHAHA! Literally!"

_Snap. _

"Laura—" Julian felt he should be scolding her, but couldn't quite put his thoughts into eloquent sentences at the moment. "Uh…is there, you know…that stuff…"

"Beer!" Nori said as she arrived, carrying a cooler. David was shortly behind her with two more and a back pack, obviously the pack mule.

"Exactly," Julian said, relieved. He sat up and accepted a bottle from Cessily, using the opportunity to draw one knee up against his chest (which remained there).

It was also an opportunity for Laura to move. As if she would pass up beer.

"Gimme!" Laura said gleefully, stretching over his lap to accept a beverage from Nori. "Two for me, actually. I'm on a diet."

Julian noted how tightly the halter part of the top was tied around her neck, and he gripped his bottle tightly, not wanting to embarrass himself further, although at this point  
none of the male portion of the team were likely to notice, as they were struggling with the same problem he was—the fact that Laura _really_ filled out the tiny pieces of fabric.

He reminded himself that he'd told her not to go shopping, and that the outfit had probably covered more pre-pregnancy.

Cessily traded knowing looks with Laura, noting that Julian hadn't glanced at Sofia for the past five minutes.

"And what kinda diet is _that, _huh?" Santo asked, trying to get her to face him.

"The one where I don't care anymore and let myself go," Laura grinned.

"Hah. I _never_ pass up food I want," Nori said.

"I've seen her eat. It's true," David added, also glancing at Laura. He was perhaps less affected than his male teammates (being less of a skirt-chaser) but still aware nonetheless.

"It's coz my powers burn it all off," Nori said.

"I've got great powers for weight, too," Cessily said, leaning against Kevin (who was the only one in a full body suit, except for Sooraya, who was still clothed in her burqa and niqab).

"That's one thing I _don't_ miss about being human…ugh. Diets _suck._"

" Uh-huh," Santo said (who normally would have added on to this comment).

Julian ripped his eyes away, afraid that he'd unconsciously will the string to come undone. It could happen, if he kept paying attention to it. Normally he would love this, but it would  
also mean letting the others have an eyeful—and facing down Laura's wrath.

"So…can you take the cap off without an opener?" Josh asked Laura.

All male eyes riveted to her hopefully.

"Sure," she said. She held up the bottle, popped a claw, and grazed the tip against the edge of the cap, then pried it off easily.

"She's like a Swiss army knife," Julian said, to make conversation. Then he remembered something. He'd been spending the past ten minutes trying to devise a way to touch her and get  
away with it (as he was sure the others were doing), when he realized that he didn't _need_ a reason. He slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her against him, mentally thanking  
himself for the expensive ring on her finger. Forgetting that it had hurt his car.

Laura tilted back her head and sucked on the bottle, draining half of it in one gulp and seemingly at ease with the contact.

There was a moment of tension in the air as Josh and Santo blinked, overcome with jealousy. Then Laurie tapped Josh's shoulder and asked him to pass something to her (her eyes  
making it clear that they would talk later), and Josh smiled, relaxing.

"To growing up," Julian said, holding up his bottle. Everyone responded (even Santo, after a minute).

"Finally, we have an adult in the house," Laura said. "I was worried that the Shrimps would outgrow you."

"Hah, hah," Julian said. "Well, guess what? You're grounded. For, like, ten years. Children should be seen and not heard."

"Stop robbing the cradle then, Keller," Laura said snidely.

Angel and Barnell entered the Danger Room at that moment, the former in a one-piece striped swimsuit, and the latter in a Hawaiian shirt with clashing shorts.

**…  
**

"Okay, time for presents," Laura announced, sitting up. "Let's see what bounty Keller's brought for his household today."

"Hey!" Julian slapped her behind, then let his hand rest there. "Whatever I get is _mine_, bitch. Hands off."

"I could say the same to you," Laura said coldly.

"Man, I'd do whatever she asks," Santo said. "Seriously!"

A scuffle, as everyone retrieved their presents from various hiding places. Cessily had given him a Nirvana t-shirt in Nate's size, Santo a set of fuzzy dice for his car plus a game for  
his PS3, and Josh a gift card. Angel and Barnell had given him a small set of Lego (also presumably for Nate), while Sofia presented him with a foreign looking doll with a grass skirt  
(with a note that it was for Rachel, as if he might misunderstand).

Nori surprised him by tossing a gift to him—a t-shirt that said _If found intoxicated, please return to _____________________ (address)_.

"Don't think that we're on speaking terms or anything," she said, grinning.

"No worries," Julian said, but his voice wasn't as sarcastic as it might have been.

Laura leaned up close to his back, pressing one breast against his bare shoulder blade,. "Since I'm being confined to a budget by this asshole..." she said audibly, then her  
voice trailed off into a whisper.

"_What?_" Santo demanded. "No fair! Everyone _saw_ what I gave you!"

"I'm taking beano tonight," Laura said loudly, even though that was distinctly not what she had told him. "Giving him a break from the gas chamber that is our bed. Poor thing  
sleeps with a nose plug."

"It's true," Julian said. "She gives a mean Dutch oven."

"Ewww," Santo said, still trying to peak around Julian (even leaning back slightly to do so).

"Anyone hungry? We have burgers, hot dogs, and BBQ," Laura said to change the topic.

"Are you doing the cooking?" Santo asked her eagerly.

"Santo…just shut up," Cessily said.

**…  
**

Of _course_ Laura picked the hot dog. Julian tried not to stare openly as she wolfed it down and limit himself only to glances, unlike Santo, who now made no effort to hide his  
fascination. It was worse for Julian, who _knew_ the details of the exact thing that the other boys were wondering.

"Damn, we should do this more often," Nori said, sitting up on the sand. "I think we'd function a lot better as a team, y'know?"

"Totally," Cessily agreed.

Sofia looked out over the water. "Perhaps we will speak to Ms. Frost about it."

Sooraya did not comment, glancing disapprovingly at Laura.

"We can do it this summer for _real,_" David pointed out. "Well, it won't be so great…but it'll still be fun."

"I'm in the mood for activities. Anyone for a swim?" Nori asked as she stood.

"Dude, you girls should play volleyball," Santo said, quite earnestly.

"_Shut up, _Santo," Cessily groaned.

"I could do to cool off," Laura said, standing up and following after Nori. Laurie and Sofia followed soon after them.

"You guys aren't going?" Angel asked.

"Uh, not really," Julian said vaguely.

"Sucks to be you, man! I am so in there!" Santo scrambled to his feet and had taken three steps towards the water by the time Julian processed what the boy had just said to him.

"She's my wife, Santo," Julian called. "You're not getting any."

Santo stopped.

"Fuck you!" he said angrily, turning around and returning to his spot. "Man, I don't care if it's your birthday…you're an asshat_._ This is so unfair. I mean, I technically saw her first, remember?"

"We all saw her at the same time," Josh reminded him, Laurie safely in the water.

"Keller has unbelievable luck, then," Santo sulked.

"Go ahead, you can have her. She comes with accessories." Julian grumbled. "They're in their terrible twos, and everything. Have fun with that."

"Are they two already?" Cessily asked, surprised.

"Nah. I mean…they grow at twice the normal rate. Officially, they're going to be a year old on April twenty-first."

"Ohh! More parties!" Cessily said, grinning.

"Fuck." Julian held out his hand and another bottle of beer shot to his fingertips from the cooler, the cap flying off. "See, guys? _I_ don't need an opener either."

"I can think of something else you don't need," Santo threatened.

"Jeez, you guys, pull yourselves together," Cessily said. "It's just a swimsuit!"

When Laura returned from swimming, she dripped water and swept her hair back from her face as she headed up the beach.

"Aw, man…don't look," Josh recommended.

"You should go for a swim! The water's awesome! Hardly any sharks, too," Laura said, grinning and acting oblivious. Julian held up his hand to her and patted his lap; at  
first, he didn't think she'd comply, but then she picked up her beer, took his hand and sat down casually on his folded legs.

"Ouch! You're a heavy bitch," he said, adjusting his legs.

Laura wrinkled her nose. "I can sit back over _there_, if you're going to be an asshole…"

He nuzzled her neck. "Don't bother."

**…  
**

""I found it weird to head back without hearing you bitch about every little thing that went wrong," Laura commented as they entered the house, having walked  
home in the dark, still holding hands but back in their uniforms. "You sure you can't find something to pick on?"

"Fuck you." Julian said pleasantly. He was in a very agreeable mood. He was still mildly drunk, and now he didn't have to avert his eyes from Laura's figure, even  
though the swimsuit was no longer in the equation.

"Maybe later," Laura said. "If you're good."

"It's my birthday. Those conditions don't apply."

"Don't kid yourself." Laura threw the tote-bag on the table and her jacket on the table. "It seems so quiet without the Shrimps here. Should we—" She made a face  
and barely caught her top as the zipper whipped down by an unseen force.

"What the—"

"I _knew_ it," Julian said, noting the halter strap around her neck. "You're still wearing that thing."

"Trust you to be aware of that," Laura said, smirking. "You act like such a total virgin sometimes…it's hilarious. I—"

Julian picked her up, hefted her over his shoulder in a fireman's carry (despite the fact that she was kicking and screeching at the top of her lungs) and headed for their bedroom.


	28. 8: danger room 4:5 counseled

**A/N: **DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM EXCITED!!!!!!! Wrote my last final today, teacher took me aside and told me I led the class, I'm like _ohh haha_ and he said I would probably get an honor roll certificate, he started explaining them and I said "haha, yeah I'm familiar with those". I feel so fucking _awkward_ when teachers conga rat (yes that's how I insist it's spelled) me on my work, it's hilarious. I have no idea why, I should just be like aww thank you. Haha oh yeah I won another scholarship . This will mean a reception again, and I already know how I can screw those up. I have more bad luck for awkward situations than the characters I write. Last one I missed the reception room, found the hall 10 mins late, and I was literally 'that person' who rushes in after the anthem and sits down in the back row. HOLY EMBARASSING. Then I started to leave the stage while they were still talking...oi...come back girl we're still thanking people here...lol

It is now my school break...and...I have a week of full time work lined up! YAAYYY...hey wait a minute that's not fun...I have a day planned with my friend though =) and I can do a bit more writing in the evenings cuz I'm not cramming for four things simultaneously (that's actually possible, I've done it).

O.O

YAYAYAYYAAY X-force #14!!!!!! and a very interesting scene with Laura and Hope!! Also, I hear they pick up where #13 left off in X-force #17 (July 22/09 or something). Cross your fingers for Hellion! I strongly wish to see some panels with him and Laura, both alive ;-)

Oh and apparently Uncanny X-men #509 has some shots of Surge running around in an X-suit, looking just fine and dandy. _WTF? _Seriously? Did the writer even bother to go stand in a comic shop for half an hour and riffle through a few issues to find out what the characters are doing? If he had, he might have thought, _Hmm, you know, seeing as she is currently injected with a deadly virus and likely to explode at any moment, killing hundreds of others, maybe I'd better _not _have her running around in broad daylight, smiling. Unless it's a drug induced hallucination. _The comic titles have less communication than my school's departments! The only other logical reason for this panel I could see is a flashback. Still...WTF man.

Okay okay here's your chapter, enjoy and I will be posting more updates + Prisoner: Y Chapter 1 sometime in the next few days ;-) if you don't know what the latter is, h t t p : / / prisoner . forever . as (or author page link)

I'm off to write for 2 hours!! Got Slipknot on!! Yay!!

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "danger room" 8 Issue: 4/5 )**

 **Chapter 108: counseled ******

* * *

"Field day is coming up soon, Julian. We need to figure out what those symbols mean," Sofia said, standing over Julian, Laura and the Shrimps at lunch.

"Sofa!" Rachel squeaked. Laura glanced at the little girl, amused.

Julian struggled to swallow his too-large forkful of potatoes. ""S—fine—_mmph—_we 'ave plenty of time," he said, as soon as he'd gotten enough  
down. "We have till the seventeenth. That's ages away."

The two females stared at him. "What day are _you_ living, Keller?" Laura asked.

"…Monday," he said, his eyes widening slightly. As he realized he'd been living Monday for a bit too long now.

"It's Friday, you idiot," Laura said.

"No way. I just…aw, shit," Julian gave up, realizing he had a few problems to fix, including, now, a late lab report. "Fucking exams…I pull one all-nighter and  
I almost forget what _year_ it is," he grumbled.

Sofia smiled slightly, amused; Laura rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Learn to use a calendar, jeez. Why do you think I keep putting those blank day planner  
sheets in your binder?" she asked. "Or do you not know how to read one? This is just typical."

Julian ignored her.

"So, yeah, I guess we _do_ need to get crackin'," he said calmly, looking at Sofia as he spoke. "Let's get the team together tomorrow…at the Grindstone?"

"Are you _sure_ you want the team together in public?" Laura asked. "I mean—really—we had to wait for the Shrimps to grow up before we took them places—and  
I consider the team _less_ mature than they are—"

"Yes," Sofia said. "I will inform my squad. One o' clock?"

"Sounds good to me," Julian said.

"Whoa, whoa! What about the Shrimps?!" Laura demanded. "What if there's no babysitter available, Keller? What then?"

"Then we bring them with us, simple as that," Julian said, looking at Nate. "If they're as grown-up as you say, then maybe they'll be able to figure the code  
out for us. Wouldn't that be awesome?"

Laura drummed her fingers on the table. "Yes, awesome," she said, clearly not excited. Sofia smiled at Julian and left, her heart rate faster than normal.

**…  
**

Julian stared at his grade, horrified. He'd never gotten a lower mark on _anything_, and this was the test he thought he'd done alright on. He blinked a few times  
to see if it was his contacts, reread it, and even turned the paper around to make sure he wasn't reading it upside down or something (confusing 7's for 1's). It  
was still an incredibly low grade. He swallowed, squared his shoulders and handed the paper back to his teacher, tried act nonchalant as he returned to his seat,  
even though he was quite disturbed, and it obviously showed.

During break, everyone began to compare grades, a tradition Julian hated.

"Hah!" Nori whispered, happening to be his neighbor. "You _failed,_ didn't you?"

Julian was silent. He was mentally calculating how much he'd just pulled his entire grade down, and it was a lot. Quite a bit, yes.

"Get a lunchbox, Keller!" Nori teased, knowing she'd struck a nerve.

Julian closed his eyes calmly, ignoring her.

"_David _got a hundred…"

"Yeah, well, _you_ didn't, did you?" he interrupted. "If we're going to start comparing partners, Laura got a hundred and ten when she did this—_last _term."

Nori fell silent, annoyed. Then…"What did you get?" she asked.

"Why on earth would I tell you?" he asked, scribbling his mark in the grade section of his outline and shielding it with his hand.

"I got sixty-seven percent," Nori whispered.

Julian leaned on his elbow. "Not giving you _more_ ammo," he said in a bored tone.

"Holy—you got _eleven percent?!_" Josh gasped, looking over his shoulder at the mark.

"Fuck you, Foley!" Julian snapped, slamming his binder shut. "What is _wrong_ with you people? Jesus, let me fail in peace!"

"HAHAHA!" Nori pounded her table. "Oh my _god!_ How is that mark even possible?!"

Julian rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Ashida—can you tone the immaturity down? I'm trying a new thing where I don't give you what you have  
coming. All of you just shut up, please."

"Aww, buddy, take it easy," Josh said. "Eleven…isn't…uh…_that_ bad…"

"Not at all," Nori grinned. "Grade 11 Physics, after all, is like rocket science for you, Keller! You should be proud. See if you can get a—"

_Crrrk! _Nori's chair made a loud, rude noise similar to gas escaping, and she straightened, her face turning red as everyone around her snorted with laughter.

"_KELLER!" _she snapped.

"Wasn't me," Julian deadpanned. "I'd rather they were loud, Ashida…it's the silent but deadly ones you got to watch out for."

**…**

"How'd it go?" Laura asked, not looking up. She was on the sofa, her head bent as she intently studied the outline of a lab report.

Julian dropped his backpack on the kitchen table. He'd been hoping she would simply forget to ask. Ever since the subject of 'career planning' had come up, Laura had  
watched his grades like a hawk, actually demanding him to keep records to show her. She forced him to cram for exams, lent him her old notes, and tutored him on  
insurmountable problems (with seemingly more patience than times past, now that her future depended on his ability to pass courses).

"Uh, fine," he said.

"Bring it here." She held up her hand. Meaning the outline, with his grades.

Julian wavered, wondering if he could get away with an excuse that the Shrimps had gotten it, but he was silent too long. She turned around on the couch, her eyes  
narrowed. "_Keller…_I said bring it here, _now._"

He rolled his eyes, pulled the binder out of his backpack and brought it to her, his head bowed.

"WHAT?!" Laura gasped. "What the--_eleven! _KELLER! What the _hell—_"

"It wasn't a good week," he said, glaring back at her. "If you remember…you damaged my car and humiliated me. Oh, yeah, and the Shrimps had that enormous smack  
down the night before the exam, meaning I was running on like two hours sleep—"

"Excuses, excuses!" Laura fumed. "Whoa—where do you think _you're _going, mister?! Get back here." Julian had been heading towards the bedroom, peeling his shirt  
off as he had decided to take a shower.

"So you can yell at me more? No thanks."

Laura stood up. "It's only three o' clock. We can fix this, but we're going to see Bobby _now." _

"You're kidding." Julian froze, his arms tangled above his head, and he peered at her with one eye (the other hidden by the collar of his shirt).

"I am not."

"_LAURA! _You can't! It'd be the most—"

**…  
**

"—embarrassing thing _ever_," Julian grumbled, his arms folded. He was sitting, slouched, on a bench, in the hallway, outside Mr. Drake's office, beside  
Laura, who was still holding his outline, with his grades.

"Shut up, Keller. No one's going to give a chance to someone who won't help himself."

"Whatever, _mom,_" he said, looking away.

She held up her hand. "He just hung up." She got to her feet, pulling Julian along and knocking on the door with a sharp rap of her knuckles.

"It's open," Mr. Drake called. "Oh—Laura? What brings you here? I thought you—ahh," he said, as Julian followed her in.

Laura waved the paper in the air. "I'm not happy! He brings _this _home and he'll set a _terrible_ example to the Shrimps! Don't you think he should have a  
chance to correct whatever the hell he did wrong on his first go?"

Mr. Drake grinned. "Aheh. Exams are a one-time shot, Laura...you know I can't let him rewrite it."

"I tried to tell her," Julian said. "She's stubborn. She must be related to Wolverine or something…"

Laura calmly ignored this jab. "You can do whatever you want, Drake," she said. "He had unacceptable circumstances and outside stress during his exam, and  
not enough study time. He's willing to work really hard, and I'll show him what he did wrong…please let him re-write it. Give him till Monday."

Mr. Drake raised his eyebrow. "How is this fair to the rest of the class?"

"How is the fact that he's dealing with two science experiments at home fair to _him?_" she asked. "Anyone at this school could have been abducted for that  
purpose. It's hardly his fault. The Shrimps had quite a fight on the evening before his exam…I could've filmed it and sold the tape to the WWF."

Mr. Drake grinned. "But he should've come to me about this _before_ the exam."

"It would have been three AM. I wasn't aware you offered round-the-clock counseling," Julian mumbled.

"He's also got this complex where he hates to admit he's not superman and can't handle a million things at once," Laura said. "I'm sure you'd have done the same thing in his place."

Mr. Drake considered, then pulled a block of paper out of his desk and a pen. He scribbled for a few moments, then tore the sheet off and handed it to Julian.

"Three o' clock, Monday. You fail this one and you don't get another shot."

"Thanks," Julian mumbled, his face beet red.

"Make sure he doesn't lose the paper," Mr. Drake added, unable to help himself.

"I will," Laura said seriously. "Come on, Keller."

**…  
**

Laura leapt over the couch, moving as if she was in the Danger Room. Julian opened the door just in time to see this; he was about to comment, but then he  
noted she was holding a washcloth in her hand, and slammed the door shut in alarm, then joined the chase.

"NATE!!!!!!! GET BACK HERE!" Laura screeched, chasing the small, naked toddler into the kitchen. "Keller—go keep an eye on Rae! She's in the tub!"

Julian ran to the bathtub, suspicious—it was too quiet. Sure enough, Rachel was sitting on the bathroom counter, dripping water, and unplugging Laura's electric razor.

"The hell!" he barked, startling her into releasing the plug with a guilty look.

"Nett," she said, kicking her feet.

"Yeah, I'm sure it was," Julian mumbled, moving over to the girl and scooping her off the counter. "Don't do that again, okay? You've got to learn to stand up for yourself, kid."

"Nett wants," Rachel said again, as if this was an acceptable answer.

Julian carried her back to the tub and set her down amongst the bubbles and bath toys, including a rubber ducky. "Well, you're not Nate, are you?" he reasoned, ruffling  
her thin, wet black hair. It stuck up into a soapy peak on her head and she blew a raspberry.

_Clatter, _from the kitchen, and the sound of Nate giggling loudly (meaning he was winning whatever was going on). Julian sat down on the closed toilet and watched  
Rachel as she played with the foam.

Laura finally entered the bathroom again, carrying a squirming, fluffy pink towel, suspiciously toddler shaped. "NATE! Quit it!" she snapped. She rushed to the bathtub  
and released him into the water, her face red from exertion.

"EHEHEHE!" Nate was scrambling at the edge of the tub again.

"Keller, don't you dare let him out!" she panted.

"What happened to all the stuff where _you're_ in perfect control of them, hmm?" Julian asked teasingly, although he knew the answer. All reason disappeared when  
the Shrimps heard the word 'bath'. They were fine with showers, which they received at least daily, accompanied by a parent; but when they bathed them for a more  
thorough cleansing (which they did once a week), they went absolutely AWOL.

"Shut up." Laura brushed hair out of her sweaty face.

"Why the hell were you trying to do it _alone?_ You know it's impossible," Julian said. He was currently enclosing the bathtub in a green energy bubble, and Nate was  
sulking, sitting in the water with his back turned to both of his parents.

"I thought I'd get it out of the way tonight…I want you to work on your physics…and we're going out tomorrow for the team thing so…" She flushed even more. "I didn't  
want to be the asshole that brings dirty toddlers, okay?"

"It's good to have a dream, I guess," Julian said, grimly looking at the Shrimps soaking in the tub, and thinking they would be dirty the instant they got out. It was  
somewhat like the character Pigpen from Charlie Brown, he mused. He kept expecting to _see_ the dust cloud.

**…  
**

"Nate, stop that_,"_ Laura warned, holding Rachel's hand tightly as they prepared to cross the street. "We want to leave Julian's hair alone. If you pull too hard it  
might come out, and then he'll be a worthless bald man."

Julian turned to glare at her, annoyed. Nate was sitting on his shoulders, piggy-back, his small hands buried in his spiky hair suspiciously deep.

"I don't have problems in that department, thanks," Julian grinned.

"Wouldn't want to take chances, now, would we?" Laura said, in the same sing-song voice of explanation that made his toes curl in irritation. He was about to  
comment, but the white 'walk' sign went on at that moment, and when he reached the other side, Laura was already at the door of the _Grindstone_, Rachel  
trotting along behind her.

"Wait up! He's heavy!" Julian called, panting.

**…  
**

"A twizzler…a bird…a mountain...and a stick figure that looks like its glowing," David said, holding the metal dome in his hands and studying the rough  
inscription on the inside. "This is even more random than the last one."

Both squads were seated around two tables shoved together, staring at David expectantly, hoping he'd have an answer so they could start preparing.

Julian especially—he didn't want a repeat of Danger.

"That's one fat stick figure," Santo grunted. "Looks like the Michelin tire guy to me."

"Heh, you're right," Josh said, leaning over David's shoulder. "I think you need new glasses, Davie-boy."

"At least you don't need bottle-caps like Keller here," Nori grinned.

"Shut the f—" Julian began, but suddenly became conscious of Nate staring at him expectantly. Waiting for him to say his favorite word. He gave the boy his  
best disapproving look. Nate hadn't dared to try saying it yet, but it was obvious he was going to eventually.

Nate looked away.

Julian held out his hand, and the dome yanked free of David's grasp.

"Hey!" Nori snapped. He grinned and tilted the dome over.

"That is so not a bird. It's a plane, dumbass," he said after a second. "Look at it. That's totally the X-wing. It even has a little flame on the end…see?"

Several people leaned over his shoulder, including Sofia. "Yes…I see it," she said. A long lock of her hair (which was lose today) fell onto his neck; neither  
commented, but Julian tensed slightly and glanced up. Laura didn't see this, preoccupied with feeding Rachel a piece of cookie.

"Ok…so far we have a twizzler, which must be another cable," David said. "So we're obviously supposed to open a door again. And take the X-wing. To some mountains…"

"That's ridiculous," Laura said. "They wouldn't want us to _actually_ leave the school. It's got to be in the Danger Room."

A pause, then David nodded in agreement. "She's right. Okay…so we break into the Danger Room again…and the X-wing will be ready. So we have to fly it to the right  
place…which has mountains… and fight the Michelin tire guy?"

"Dude! That's awesome!" Santo said. "Someone bring a camera!"

"Who's a fat villain, who glows?" David asked, not convinced.

"I'd say Blob, but he doesn't glow…unless…_ewwww…_" Nori wrinkled her nose.

"What about Mojo? Y'know, that weird guy with all the arms?" Cessily asked.

"This guy has two arms, and two legs," Julian said. "He is posed kinda weird though. Like he's pushing his chest out."

Laura leaned over and plucked the dome out of his hands without asking and examined it critically. "You guys are all retarded," she said, arching her eyebrows.

"Huh?" Julian asked.

"It's written right here…Nimrod," she said, her finger pointing to a tiny line under the figure.

Everyone stared at her.

"That's a scratch, Laura," Julian said.

"Uh-uh. It's plain as day to me. Well, I kind of have to squint a little…the writing is small but…"

"Of course!" David said.

"Wha?" Santo asked.

"She's Wolverine's _clone_! He has incredibly keen eyesight. He can see something like a few miles into the distance. I bet it works up close, too…" David sounded excited,  
having solved a puzzle. "They knew, they had to. The first step of solving this was getting the right person to _read_ it."

Laura stared at him. "So, what, I'm a microscope now?" she asked.

"Aww, my little science experiment," Julian said, amused.

"Shut up, Keller."

David suddenly stiffened. "I've heard of Nimrod before," he said. "Oh, _jesus_…are they _serious?!_"

"Nah, I'm sure it's all a big joke," Santo said. "You know Cyke…he's such a kidder!"

"Hah," Nori said.

"Guys, I'm serious…Nimrod is bad news. He's this big pink robot from the future, a super-advanced Sentinel. I've seen footage of the X-men fighting him."

"Personally, I stopped worrying when you said he's pink," Laura said.

General amusement.

"_Guys—" _

"Yes, David, we understand," Sofia said seriously. "We need to know more about this Nimrod. What are his weaknesses? If we have a plan, we will—"

"That's just it!" David said. "He doesn't _have_ a weakness! He's the ultimate mutant killing machine. He will screw us up."

"I'm sure the safety's on," Julian pointed out. "The purpose is to test us…not to murder us."

David still looked uneasy.


	29. 8: danger room 5:5 field day: nimrod

**A/N: **The first--and only chapter--of _Prisoner: Y _has been posted as a new story (of the same name). Look on my author page. If you want to see more of it in the future, the next chapters will be available  
at h t t p : / / prisoner . forever. as (without spaces) or again, link on author page. There is a forum for reviewing it as well, so you will be free to do so without censorship (if you choose to review).

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "danger room" 8 Issue: 5/5 )**

 **Chapter 109: field day: nimrod ****  


* * *

**

"You all ready to fight evil pink robots from the future?" Julian asked, saluting Laura as she zipped up her top.

"I'm really excited," Laura said. "I'm guessing he's named Nim_rod_ for a reason!"

"Spare me your sick fantasies," Julian said, running his fingers over the edges of her corset and pretending to straighten it. She smacked his hand away with  
an annoyed look. "Stop that. You might accidentally cover my boobs and ruin the whole purpose of the school uniform!"

"Heh," he said. "It's so weird to hear you bitch about showing skin."

"When I have to run around in front of adolescent boys, then, why yes, I do bitch," Laura said, reaching up and scraping her hair back to tie it into a low ponytail.

"God, I hate that she makes me do up my hair. I feel every root going against its grain…"

Julian leaned forwards and kissed her lightly. "I like it."

"Oho, well now I'm one hundred percent happy," Laura said with sarcasm. "As long as _you_ like it, I'm perfectly glad to torture myself with an elastic band for four  
hours and risk public nipple slippage!"

"Damn straight, bitch," he said, glancing at the clock over her shoulder. "We really need to get going. The Shrimps ready?"

"Uh-huh. I started early, because I just _knew_ Nate was going to demand that the castle comes with him. Then he begged me to let him take videos. Logan's going to  
have an entertaining night." She grinned.

"What'd he pick?" Julian asked.

"Sesame Street…and Lambchops," Laura said.

"The one with the song, right?" he persisted, grinning.

"You know it."

"Yessssss! That's awesome," he said.

Laura nodded in agreement. "I'm expecting pretty fantastic reviews from him," she said. "Some shit you just can't unhear."

**…  
**

"Oh, look, it's my clones," Logan said, surveying Julian, Laura and the Shrimps with a critical eye.

"I'm not your clone," Julian said.

"Thank god fer that." Logan opened his door wider. "Well, let 'em in…I spent an hour trying to fix the cupboard the lil guy broke last time. Never seen a  
childproofing device fail so thoroughly."

"It only makes them try harder," Laura agreed.

"You brought stuff to keep 'em busy?" Logan eyed the bag on Laura's shoulder.

"His castle's in here," she said, patting it. "And some other…stuff. Quality programming that I think you'll enjoy."

Julian looked away, biting his lip and trying not to burst out laughing. He found the idea of Logan watching Lambchops quite hysterical—and he knew it  
would happen, too, because Nate insisted on sitting with whatever parental figure he was with and singing along (completely off tune).

"Somethin' funny, Keller?" Logan asked suspiciously, seeing this.

"Your face," Laura answered for him, shoving the bag into Logan's arms. "You know the routine…feed 'em when they look bloodthirsty…and again at  
sundown, or they might eat you…oh and make sure they get their supplements. Slip them into like cookies or something. Make sure Nate swallows,  
he's pretty creative at avoiding his."

Logan gave her the thumbs up. "Take care of yerselves…and good luck, I guess."

"You guess? You're not _sure?_" Laura asked. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, asshole! You're supposed to support us. It's sort of like 'clap your  
hands if you believe in fairies'."

"Whatever," Logan said, grinning. "Nimrod's no pussy."

"He looks like one. He's pink, and he even has that weird—"

"I'm taking her away now," Julian said, clapping his hands on her shoulders and steering her down the hall. "See you tomorrow, Logan," he called back.

"Later, Keller," Logan said, his hand on Nate's shoulder. "Aight, Shrimps…"

**…  
**

"Everyone got their clues?" Scott asked loudly.

A member of each squad-team held up a random item that was presumably their clue. Sofia held Danger's skull up, while Anole brandished a piece of white  
cloth—the White Queen's choker—and the pink-haired girl named Pixie presented Juggernaut's headpiece.

"Excellent," Scott said. "You all know what you're going to do?"

Nods. Julian folded his arms and glanced along the other squads, wondering what _they_ had to do. If his team was just handling a pink robot…he'd be upset  
if it was an unfair scenario.

"I'm starting the clock," Scott said, pressing the button on the stopwatch. "Good luck! May the best team win!"

**…  
**

"Hurry up!"

Julian was getting agitated. There was a weird mass on the door seam to the danger room—a jelly-like glue—and they had stood here for almost twenty minutes,  
trying to separate it. It refused to part from the metal, even resisting sand (Dust), electricity (Surge), and an attempt at molecular decomposition (Hellion).

Laura sighed and popped her claws.

_Snnkt. _

"Out of the way," she said, placing one claw tip against the side of the door. She then skimmed it through like a credit card on a locked door. "There we—the fuck?"

The mess made a _slurppp_ noise as it grew right back.

"Of course!" David said. "Josh! It's _organic!_"

"Eww, I don't wanna touch it," Josh said, wrinkling his nose.

"I'll do it, then," Kevin said, twisting a cuff on his metal glove and stepping forwards. His fingers made contact with the mass—it made a hissing noise, turn black, then  
floated as dust to the floor, smoking slightly.

"About time!" Julian said impatiently.

Laura rolled her eyes, thinking he reminded her of Nate waiting for a popsicle to be unwrapped. Rachel was much more patient.

The door slid open, the challenge overcome; the team stepped into the Danger Room, their eyes taking in the scenery. Sure enough, they were in a hangar; before  
them was the sleek, shining body of the X-wing.

"So far, so good," David said, following the leaders as they ran towards the jet and tried the doors. "It's locked!" Julian called.

"It's amazing that he forgets he can move things with his mind_,_" Laura said to Nori. "You know? His _mind._ I don't understand how hard that is to remember. I've seen  
him lock himself out of his own car and he asked _me_ for help…"

"The panel, Julian," Sofia said, looking into the window.

Julian focused on the panel and flicked the lock switch to 'unlock', slightly annoyed. Then he yanked the door open roughly and clambered in towards the cockpit,  
crouching to avoid hitting his head on the low ceiling. "Everyone get in _fast_, and don't take your time over it. We took too long on getting in here already."

Sofia followed him in and took the co-pilot seat; Laura sat behind her and cleared her throat loudly, looking at Julian pointedly with an expression that told him  
'_I've got my eye on you'. _He rolled his eyes and then ignored her.

The rest of the team filtered in, David choosing the seat beside Laura, still holding Danger's skull and peering at the clues.

"So…what mountains are we heading for?" Santo asked.

Everyone froze, including Julian, who was in the middle of buckling his safety belt. "Uhh…I'm sure it's programmed in," he said, leaning over and pushing  
buttons on the dashboard.

To reveal an empty list. He paled.

"Julian…there is nothing _on_ the program list," Sofia said.

"I can see that," he said. "Fuck!"

"Okay…this should be simple," David said, his forehead wrinkled. "Everyone look at these mountains and see if you can recognize them."

"Yeah, that sounds _really_ simple," Laura said, her arms folded as she looked out the window. "Only twenty-four percent of the earth is _covered_ in mountains,  
you know. Ought to be a breeze."

Silence as everyone considered this.

"Uh…were there any meaningful mountains in the history of the X-men?" Julian asked, not knowing what else to suggest.

"Let me off this plane," Laura said, unstrapping her seatbelt. "I'm going to go see if another team will take me, because you guys are a bunch of losers!"

"Sit down and shut up," Julian snapped. "Guys…c'mon, think. This is a minor detail we overlooked in our plans."

"_Minor_," Nori repeated.

"Give it here," Laura said, holding out her hand for Danger's skull. David passed it to her and she held it against the window, studying the etching carefully.

She paused, her eyes focused on the bottom.

"That's Mount Rushmore," she said after a few moments.

Julian turned around in his seat to stare at her. "What? How can you tell? Wouldn't there be faces on it?"

"Not necessarily," Laura said, tilting the dome. "Remember? Last week…you told me Mr. Drake kept using it for gravity examples in Physics."

"That's right," Nori said suddenly. "He totally did. I told Josh that if we did one more problem involving the damn mountain, I was going to  
zip out there and defile it."

Julian was silent for a moment. "Alright. So…where _is_ Mount Rushmore?"

"Keystone, South Dakota," David said suddenly. "Oh my god…you guys are right. Dani was talking all about them in American History on Thursday."

"Coordinates," Kevin said. Everyone turned to look at him. "I'm in geography...we were practicing coordinates last Tuesday. I think…we might have covered Dakota…  
I can't remember what the numbers were, though."

"Hang on," David said. "Yeah, Kevin, you _do_ know…because _I_ know them right now." He turned to Julian. "43°52′, 44.21N, 103°27, 35.37″W," he said quickly.

"Uhh—" Julian blinked.

"Just punch it in!" Laura said. "It's the best lead we've got so far."

**…  
**

"Jesus, they're sneaky…putting clues in our _classes,_" Julian mumbled. They had been flying for about half an hour now, and were well on their way to the inputted  
coordinates, flying at faster than commercial jet speeds. "Means everyone's got to pay close attention!"

"Damn, you mean I can't _sleep_ through class anymore?" Santo groaned.

"Probably not," Cessily said, gazing out the window.

"I sure hope we're going the right way," Julian said. "Otherwise we're completely screwed…we'd place below the _Paragons,_ ugh."

"Not something you want to brag about," Laura agreed. "Having Pixie beat you because _you_ couldn't defeat a pink robot."

Julian made a face. "Don't _ever_ let me hear you say that again," he said.

"I won't," Laura said pleasantly. "Let you hear, that is."

_Beep beep beep beep beep—_

"What the hell is that?" Julian asked. Sofia was watching the flashing panel with a puzzled frown. "I have not scene anything like this before," she said, touching buttons.

"I think it's some sort of indicator system," David said. "Switch on the audio…it should tell us what's going on."

"Keep it down with the back-seat driving, okay?" Julian said, annoyed, but a moment later he pushed a button on the panel, and the robotic voice began to  
tell them exactly what was wrong.

"_Temporal event at 53, 42. Incoming airborn vessel detected. Massive energy buildup. Location: 5.1 meters reverse. Contact imminent, take evasive maneuvers." _

Silence. Julian looked at Sofia, his face pale. "Wha—"

"Try turning the stick-thing, Keller!" Laura snapped. "Wiggle it back and forth or something! I don't intend to share a mass grave with you pathetic—"

_**BLAMMM—**_the air was filled with an enormous explosion, followed by the sound of twisting metal. The X-wing tumbled through the air, everyone held in  
place only by their seatbelts.

"KELLER!" Laura yelled in the confusion.

Julian closed his eyes, gripping his armrests, and caught the X-wing with his mind. He gasped for air, feeling like a limb he couldn't see was struggling to lift a  
weight far too large, and was running out of oxygen fast. But the X-wing had stopped shaking and was hanging in the air as whatever had collided with it  
rushed past the gaping hole in the ceiling.

A large pink blur.

The engines sputtered and died.

"Everyone out of your safety belts," Laura said calmly, popping her claws. "We have to abandon ship, _now._"

"Are you _crazy?_ We're 25,000 feet in the air and there's a giant robot circling us like a shark—"

"We're not safe here. We'll never make it down, if we stay in this deathtrap."

Laura sliced through her belt, face set. The ship tilted slightly to the side with an ominous _creaking _noise, and Julian leaned his head back against the headrest,  
his eyebrows drawn together.

"You…need to…lose weight," he groaned.

Sofia was silent, her eyes wide.

Laura crept behind the seats, to the next row. "Mantega…when everyone's free, you'll lift them into the air and hold them there, okay?"

"Yes," Sofia said, undoing her own belt.

_WOOOSH, _overhead, as Nimrod circled the ship again. Laura gazed up at it, and no longer was she amused by the fact that it was pink. It was more like a  
warning color to her, like a poisonous dart frog might have.

"Everyone out?" she asked.

Sofia stood up slowly and carefully, the ship tilting at every slight movement and Julian making a corresponding face. "Damn…I can feel you guys walking," he  
said, flexing his fingers on the armrests.

"Creepy," Laura said, looking up at the open ceiling. "Oh, SHI—"

Nimrod was on top of them, peering at them like a giant into a dollhouse.

"_Mutants detected." _

It paused.

"_Acquiring targets," _it continued, in a toneless, robotic voice.

"_Alleyne, David. Designation: Prodigy. Threat level: low." _

"_Ashida, Noriko. Designation: Surge. Threat level: high." _

"This sounds bad," Santo said.

"_Collins, Laurie. Designation: Wallflower. Threat level: low." _

"_Cruz, Brian. Designation: Tag. Threat level: low." _

"_Foley, Joshua. Designation: Elixir. Threat level: low." _

"_Ford, Kevin. Designation: Wither. Threat level: low." _

"_Guthrie, Jay. Designation: Icarus. Threat level: medium."_

The names rolled smoothly and quickly out of Nimrod's speakers, as if it was reading them from a list.

"_Keller, Julian. Designation: Undetermined. Threat level: undetermined. Primary target." _

"_Kincaid, Cessily. Designation: Mercury. Threat level: medium." _

"_Kinney, Laura. Designation: X-23. Threat level: severe." _

"What the—" Laura said.

Nimrod didn't stop.

"_Mantega, Sofia. Designation: Wind Dancer. Threat level: medium." _

"_Qadir, Sooraya. Designation: Dust. Threat level: medium." _

"_Vaccaro, Santo. Designation: Rockslide. Threat level: medium."_

It paused, its eyes glowing a bright, angry pink.

"_Targets acquired. This unit will begin termination of mutants in 3, 2, 1—" _

"You didn't say it was _this_ big!" Josh said to David, his eyes wide.

"I've honestly never seen Nimrod bef—" David started, but the robot's hand was beginning to reach in.

"DO SOMETHING!" Laurie screamed, terrified.

"Keller—get us out of here," Laura demanded. "We have to get to the ground, now."

"I can barely—"

"_NOW." _

"Keep the craft afloat," Sofia said, putting her hand on his shoulder. "I will provide the propulsion with the wind."

"I feel kinda underqualified to be on this squad, seeing as I'm no good in the air," Santo said. "I think I'm gonna transfer when we're done here."

"Shut up, Santo!" Cessily said, looking up at Nimrod's hand as it began to energize. "GUYS! You really got to get this thing moving!"

Sofia braced herself. "Hold onto something," she recommended.

"ARRGH!" Julian yelled as the X-wing suddenly began to move on a sudden strong gust of wind. It shook, and it was all he could do to keep the massive hunk of  
metal airborne; Laura, her claws imbedded firmly in the seat cushion ahead of her, looked up and saw that Nimrod had been left behind.

"New plan!" she yelled over the wind. "Take it down and try not to kill us!"

"I don't know…how much longer I can hold it," Julian hissed. His face was red with the exertion, and there were beads of sweat on his forehead. Laura glanced at him  
and grinned, remembering the last time she'd heard that. "Think of baseball stats, Keller!"

"…"

"NOT THE TIME FOR JOKES!" Cessily shrieked, as Nimrod roared overhead again, keeping level with the plane as it descended. It was glowing, powering up—preparing  
to attack them. It would rip them to pieces if it succeeded.

"GO FASTER!" David shouted over the wind.

Sofia's eyes glowed white, and the wind became a hurricane force, tearing the sky open and hurtling the X-wing towards the ground with a speed that forced the air  
out of everyone's lungs.

Laura glanced out of the window, her hair a black streak behind her, and realized she could see the trees below, approaching at an angle.

"KELLER! SHIELD US!" She yelped.

"WHAT DO YOU _THINK _I'M—"

Laura's claws slipped out of the cushion and she was sucked out of the gaping roof with a small shriek, and was an airborne projectile before she  
could hear the rest of his response.

**…  
**

The crash was horrendous as the X-Wing smashed through the trees, leaving a shower of metal shrapnel and smoke in its wake. When it finally skidded to a halt, Julian  
wasn't sure if he was alive or dead, staring at the caved-in windshield through his own green bubble. At the last moment he'd managed to switch his mental hold from the  
jet to his friends, probably saving their lives.

Nori coughed in the back. "Nice flying, Keller."

"Thanks," he said, undoing his safety belt slowly. "Least we survived, right?"

"Totally," Santo agreed.

"Is everyone all right?" Sofia asked, sitting up. She'd curled on the floor of the X-wing during the landing, held in place by the bubble; probably a good thing, because there  
was a tree sticking through her seat, having penetrated the cushion of the head rest in its force.

"We'll live," Josh grunted.

Julian realized something was amiss, and after a moment he realized it was the fact that Laura wasn't making fun of him for the craptacular landing they'd just experienced.

"Laura?" he asked blankly, looking around.

"Dude—" Santo said, remembering something. "She flew out the roof like a used napkin. Man, that musta sucked."

"Oh my god," Cessily said in horror.

"LAURAAA—" Julian's eyes turned green and he shot out of the wrecked aircraft—leaving a trail of shrapnel lifting behind him—right into the waiting palm of Nimrod.

"_Targets reacquired,_" it said.

"Ooophf!" He tumbled to the ground, having hit his head quite hard; Josh fought with the door (Cessily finally formed her arm into a blade and pried it open), then  
ran towards his bleeding friend, having seen him fall.

"EVERYONE GET OUT!" Sofia ordered.

There was a scramble towards the door. No sooner had the last person (Santo) pulled his foot out of the craft than it blew up in a spectacular cloud of orange and  
pink flames. Several people were hurled forward by the force of the blast, and they landed on the grass with noises of pain.

"KEVIN!" Cessily shouted, seeing him curl on the ground, a stick imbedded in his chest. It disintegrated quickly, withering into powder, but he remained in the same  
position, holding a bloody wound.

"Oh man—that's going to _suck_ to heal," Josh said, his eyes wide. "Literally."

"Guys! We have to come up with a plan!" Nori shouted, her hands sparking as she released electricity. Her gauntlets had been damaged in the crash.

"No kidding," Santo said. "Uhh—just a guess here—but we hit the giant pink thing with all we've got?"

Julian scrambled to his feet, having been healed. "Sounds about right," he said, his eyes glowing. "The sooner we kill this thing, the better."

"You can't _kill_ a _robot!_" Nori said.

"Ooh but I'm going to try," he replied, facing Nimrod.

"_Target: Hellion. Telekinetic." _it said.

_**FWOOSH! **_A pink ray of what seemed to be sunlight ripped through the ground and would have severed Julian's leg, had he not turned sideways just in time.

"Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed, staring at the molten earth, melted and bubbling.

Smoke drifted into the air.

"There's something not right here," David said, also staring at the ground. "That really doesn't look like the safety's on. I've never seen anything like this  
in the Danger Room, guys…"

"But we're _in _the Danger Room," Sofia said, confused.

"I know we are," David said. "But I don't think _that's_ a simulation."

Julian paled. "You mean—"

"_Solution in progress," _Nimrod said, moving forward. "_Calibrating targeting features to .2 centimeters." _

"We have to get the teachers to stop the program!" David said in an agitated voice.

"There's no way that thing is _really_ Nimrod," Nori said, grinning. "Quit being such a worry-wart, David…relax and have _fun._"

"JULIAN, MOVE!" Cessily shouted, turning into a blob of mercury and hurling herself through the air as Nimrod roasted everything within a few feet of itself, including  
the section of Cessily that was still in the air before the robot. Her front end slammed into Julian a second before and sent him flying out of harm's way.

"AHHH!" she shrieked, thumping to the grass. Her top half had reformed but her lower half had not, remaining in a puddle of molten mercury.

"No! CESS!" Julian scrambled to his knees and send a wave of energy towards Nimrod, causing the grass to ripple.

"_Telekinetic event in progress. Compensating." _Nimrod had turned to him and raised its hand; the shockwave bounced off him like it had been a breeze.

"_Reconfiguring databank. Target: Keller, Julian. Designation: Hellion. Threat level: high. Space-time is prior to amalgamation." _

"Nori! See if you can overload it with your electricity! I will attempt to confuse it with a tornado!" Sofia said, rising into the air as she began to energize  
the molecules around her.

Nori was no longer grinning. She stared at Cessily, moaning pitifully and smoking in the grass, then rushed towards Nimrod and grabbed its leg.

"Heyfuckerhow'd youlikeanelectricenema?!" she said, letting the charge that had been gathering for the last hour whiz up its leg. _ZZZRRT!_

"_Target: Surge. Electrical attack. Adapting." _Nimrod washed in bright pink, and Nori stumbled backwards, unable to see. She was in so much pain she  
couldn't feel it anymore and she started to laugh hysterically.

"NORI!!!" David shouted, running towards her. Her entire front had been melted, her clothes into her skin, her features together.

"I'm coming!" Josh shouted.

"Yeah…I think you're right," Julian said, holding his side (he'd heard the typical rib crack when Cessily had saved him, and it was now starting to  
ache). "We need to get the teachers. This is _real._"

Nori coughed up blood in the grass as Josh touched her skin, erasing the damage. "HOLY FUCK...THAT HURT!!!" she blurted.

"_Target: Elixir. Action: terminate." _ Nimrod was aiming for Josh now; Julian moved him out of the way just in time, realizing that if Josh got taken  
out, they were all dead. For real.

_**FWOOOSH! **_Pink energy ripped through the air and hit the spot that Josh had just occupied, leaving a smoking crater.

_**Remain calm.**_Frost was suddenly with him. _**Something unanticipated has occurred. Do not panic; remember your training. **_

Julian stiffened. _This is really Nimrod, isn't it? _he asked.

_**Yes. **_Frost said. _**Stay alive until we can open the door, which it has jammed. **_

_Jammed?! _Julian demanded. _You're X-men! We're going to die in here and you can't get by a jammed door?!_

Silence; either Frost had not heard him, or did not want to answer.

"We need a plan, guys!" he shouted, aware that it had been said before, but understanding the absolute necessity now better than ever. "Frost and  
the teachers are coming but they can't get through the door!"

Stares.

"We should hide!" David yelled. "Split up!"

"So he can hunt us down and pick us off, one by one? I don't think so! We're doing this to be X-men, right? Well, let's _be_ X-men, then." Julian jogged towards  
where David still knelt in the grass, beside Nori, who was starting to get to her feet. "What do you know about Nimrod?"

"Just that you can't stop it," David said quietly. "It'll kill us, all of us. That's what it's designed to do."

"There's got to be _something,_" Julian said. "Nothing's completely invulnerable."

David thought for a moment. "It _does_ have some kind of time device inside…"

"You mean—" Julian looked at the robot, which had just blown a large crater in the ground, sending Santo flying into a shower of rock. He reformed, a couple  
feet away, looking angry.

"Yes—maybe if we destroy the time device, it'll go back to whatever time it's from," David continued. "I don't know how to get it open, though…or even where  
it is. Or how to destroy it."

"Probably in it's most protected area," Julian mumbled.

"No doubt. Either the head, or the chest, I'd say. But—we can't even _dent_ it."

"_**AHHHHHK!" **_Josh staggered as a wave of pink washed over him, then fell to his knees, smoking, his skin black.

"NO!" Julian swept his injured friend towards him, grabbed his hands, and pressed them against his melted forehead. "HEAL YOURSELF!!" he demanded as Josh  
made choking noises. "DO IT!"

Josh turned glowed slightly and his skin reformed. He gasped for air. "That is—that is—" he groaned, completely hysterical.

"I know, man, just sit for a minute," Julian said.

Josh's eyes rolled up in the back of his head and he fainted.

"NO! JOSH!" Julian shook him, terrified.

"_Targets acquired," _Nimrod said. Its voice would have been gleeful if it betrayed any emotion, but the robot obviously did not have any. "_Commence termination."_

Julian's focus slid past the robot as his eye caught a motion. There was Laura, crouch-walking in the tall grass, a finger to her lips, her claws out. Her garments were  
shredded and her hair was everywhere, but she was alive.

And her claws could cut anything, absolutely anything.

"_Nori,_" Julian whispered, nodding slightly.

The girl looked, straight ahead, and grinned.

"I hold it open. You go for the kill."

"Agreed." Nori was on her feet.

It all happened very fast; Nimrod glowed bright pink; Laura travelled the last few meters surprisingly fast, then catapulted over the robot's head and brought her claws—both of  
them—down the center of the robot's torso.

"_Massive damage to exterior chassis; mutant designation: X-23 attack in progress. Implement force field for future attack. Initiate counter measures." _

The pink charge released, Laura flew backwards; Julian held the edges of the incision she'd created open (like he had in that first simulation, with the Hulk), and then Nori zoomed in  
for the kill just as Nimrod began blabbing about being unable to self-repair.

"GO TO ROBOT HELL!" Nori screamed, jamming her arms into Nimrod's chest cavity and beginning her electrocution process.

"I hear it's…in South Jersey," Julian grunted.

"Dude! I _love_ Futurama, too!" Santo said, understanding the reference.

"_Alarm! Massive systems disruption. Compensating…error!" _Nimrod said, vibrating with energy. "_Chronial device unshielded. Error. Alarm: Chronial device overloading. Weapons systems  
non-responsive. Teleportation systems non-responsive. Physical form and mass fluctuating. This unit is in jeopardy." _

"**AGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH—" **Nori let out one of the most blood-curdling screams that had echoed in the Danger Room yet. She began choking as Nimrod's energy travelled up her arms.

"Nori—" David said, his eyes wide. She was going to be killed.

"_Catastrophe level event in progress! SQUAAARRRRRRK!" _

"That's got to be my favorite thing he's said yet," Julian remarked. He had an idea, then he let go of the metal flaps and jerked Nori away with a thought.

Nimrod froze, glowing in an odd way. The energy was now trapped inside it, no longer able to escape and continue channeling into the ground, like a lightning rod.

"_**SQUARRRR—"**_Nimrod said again, then glowed. Julian could see cells, stars, small suns and black holes in the energy field that swept over a two meter radius around Nimrod as it  
seemed to explode, then implode into a tiny pink marble.

Then it was gone.

The Danger Room doors opened at that moment, and the scenery around them disappeared, leaving only metal walls and an assortment of students kneeling and laying on the ground,  
their uniforms smoking. The teachers rushed in, Frost at the head, Summers slightly behind.

"Children!" Frost said, reaching them. "You're alive!"

"No thanks to _you,_" Julian coughed, feeling his rib now that the excitement was over. His eyes searched the room for Laura; he finally spotted her lying in the corner,  
her head turned to the side, and he ran towards her.

"Laura?" he asked tentatively, afraid to see how badly she was hurt.

She groaned, then curled into a ball. "That…was _worse_…than childbirth," she said, her voice wavering. He knelt beside her and pushed her hair out of her face, revealing shiny skin.

"SHIT—" he said, his heart frozen in his chest. "Oh, fuck—"

"Jesus, Keller…gimme a second to get pretty…" she mumbled.

"FOLEY! Wake the fuck up!" Julian shouted, twisting around and lifting Josh's unconscious form with a thought.

"N-no. See? I'm fine." Laura sat up slowly, one hand across her abdomen; half her face was a melted, lidless, lipless mess; the other half was her healthy, normal  
self. The latter was slowly creeping across her face, and he watched in sick fascination as her eyelashes began to regrow.

"You sure?" He stared at her, his eyes burning.

"Yes," Laura said, blinking her eyes as her eyelid finished healing. "Hurt like a motherfucker…but I'm fine. AHAHHAHA, MOTHER FUCKER! LITERALLY!!" she threw back  
her head, laughing, as the last of her facial injuries healed shut.

"She's fine," Logan grunted, having overhead the conversation. Julian rolled his eyes and dropped Josh unceremoniously on the floor (the latter awoke at the  
impact and protested loudly), then gathered Laura into his arms and squeezed her tightly, sniffling once or twice.

"You _were_ scared, weren't you?" she murmured, patting his back.

"Let me put it this way…if weren't healing right now, I'd have found a way to bring Nimrod _back_ so I could kick its ass." he whispered.

"Aww. Not one of your better ideas, but hey…" Laura looked to the side as Emma cleared her throat, indicating she wanted everyone's attention.

"Children. Your performance today was most impressive," she said, her hands on her hips. "Time wise…you have finished last." She paused, as Julian scowled,  
his arms tightening around Laura in anger.

"It is clear to us, however, that this squad has faced a true challenge. Congratulations, you have again finished in first place. Please see me in my office, Mr. Keller  
and Ms. Mantega, after we have taken care of the injured."

**…  
**

"This is for you," Emma said, placing a triangular plate on the table. The three students stared at it (Julian had brought Laura as well, despite Emma's request  
to only bring Sofia) with raised eyebrows.

"Your clue," Emma added. "Since you did not receive the chance to combat your target. I would hardly have you battle a simulation of Nimrod when you've just  
fought the real thing, my darlings."

Sofia leaned forwards, then picked it up and examined it. "His chest plate," she said after a moment.

"How did he even get _in_ there?" Julian asked. "Don't we have _security?_"

"We do, yes," Emma said.

Scott cleared his throat from behind her. "It was a very calculated attack. Somehow, Nimrod came into possession of private school files, detailing the simulation run  
that day—_this day—_and knew when to strike. He calibrated his energy signatures to those of the Danger Room and teleported in. We saw this from the observation  
room and tried to shut things down…but it was out of our hands, by then." He paused. "You should feel proud of yourselves. You stood your ground against an  
opponent that even the X-men never defeated."

"Personally, I sleep with knives under my pillow," Laura said loudly, from Julian's lap. "I recommend everyone else do the same. Although I have an unfair  
advantage on that little—"

"Shut up," Julian murmured, but he squeezed her knee. "Okay…so we have our clue, we won, and you're proud of us. Anything else? Any other bad guys hidden in  
the school that we should know about? You know, so we can deal with them _now_, while we're on a roll. I mean, we've only shut down Magneto and Nimrod so far..."

Summers folded his arms, but grinned slightly. "I guess we deserve that."

"Dismissed," Emma said, smiling also.

**…  
**

"These two got real upset durin' the whole thing," Logan said as the Shrimps impacted with Laura's knees, making _whap! _sounds.

"You didn't let them watch, right?" Laura asked suspiciously, each of her hands on a toddler's head.

"Right," said Logan automatically. He was getting better at knowing what not to tell Laura, having more experience with her 'worried mother' syndrome.

"Good." Laura held the faces close to her legs for a moment, then reached down and took their hands. "Mind if we just head home, Logan? I'm hella tired from  
reconstructing my entire body. Some asshole tried to rape me with pink light."

"No worries," Logan said, walking them to the door. He handed Julian the bag of Shrimp-toys and nodded at the boy. "You two did good today. Don't think  
the X-men coulda done better."

"Well, now you have someone to look up to," Laura said teasingly.

Logan folded his arms. "Weren't _you_ the one who spent half the fight as a kite?"

"Not my fault the X-wing has cloth seats and not leather!" Laura snapped. "Thing let my claws slip through it like it was a sheet of toilet paper."

"Actually, that's _why_ it has cloth seats," Logan said grimly. "I pulled the same trick like three times before Chuck realized he could be savin' a bit of  
money. Sucks bein' the claw guy, don't it?"

"It sure does," Laura said loudly. "I want a raise!"

"You're not being paid," Julian pointed out, already partway down the hall.

"Well, it's going to be a big one, then, isn't it?!" Laura snapped. "Good night, Logan."

"Night, kid," Logan said, grinning to himself.


	30. 9: a trip to town 1:1 wholesale

**A/N: **A silly in-between arcs chapter. Sorry for lack in updates, I've been working full time all week...and I forgot how apathetic and tired work makes me :-\ definitley not in a writing mood! I'll feel  
better when school starts again though. Hopefully some other stuff works out too!

* * *

**  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "a trip to town" 9 Issue: 1/1 )**

 **Chapter 110: wholesale ******

* * *

"Julian!" Scott shouted, just as he and Laura were about to exit the cafeteria, the Shrimps running ahead of them, and the only physical burdens they  
carried being the loaded backpacks on their shoulders. They were headed for Biology, Nate's favorite class (he liked to ask Dr. McCoy questions, now  
that he was beginning to have a vocabulary).

Laura tugged on his sleeve and pointed; he turned and saw the headmaster struggling against the in-flow of people to reach him—and he paled,  
wondering what he'd done wrong _now._

"I need to ask you a favor," Scott said as he came within hearing range. "Actually, I'll pay you a bit extra to do it for me."

Laura perked up at this. "He'll do it," she said.

Julian glared at her. "Can I hear what it is first?"

"I don't care what it is…it could be a suicide mission and I'd still make you go," Laura responded. "They pay more anyway!"

"_Laura!" _

Scott cleared his throat. "Actually, this has nothing to do with suicide. In a sense. I'd like for you to go to Costco, in my place, and get supplies for the  
school. I have to be in Seattle for an investigation, and Emma…well..." He allowed himself a smile. "…she _hates _doing supply-runs."

Julian froze. "But—I don't know anything about the school needs—_why me?_"

"Why _not_ you? I'm training you to manage a team, aren't I?" Scott asked reasonably. "If you think you can handle being on the field, then you should be  
fine buying bulk toilet paper. Logan will be with you, and you'll have a list."

"Can I come?" Laura asked sharply.

Scott eyed her. "Hoping to slip some purchases on the bill?"

Laura didn't answer.

"That's fine, actually," Scott said, less seriously. "Consider it another little bonus…I'll turn a blind eye if the bill's a little over-budget. No gazebos, though,  
please. Jean did that once without consulting me…I nearly had to lay off the janitors for a month."

"HAHA!" Laura found this amusing. "You mean, the awards-hut is a _Kirkland _gazebo?"

"It might be," Scott said, grinning slightly. "So, I take it you're up to the task?"

"Sure," Julian said. "How bad can it be?"

**…  
**

"OW!" Logan roared as Nate poked him in the eye excitedly, pointing to something across the street as he babbled. His clone and her partner were in the  
front seats. Logan had argued quite viciously about where he should get to sit in the car; then Laura had ordered him to sit in the back with the Shrimps  
since it was 'practically (her) car'. A few minutes later he found himself sitting grumpily beside the car seats, not understanding _why_ he'd given in to his  
clone's demands, even though she was a foot shorter than him. Perhaps it was that something about her eyes meant business (especially when she'd  
roared '_GET INTO THE GOD-DAMN CAR LOGAN OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL—_').

Julian had given him a sympathetic look. Logan understood it to mean 'a week'.

"Nate, please watch your fingers," Laura said in a nice, patient voice.

Logan rubbed his eye, annoyed; but decided not to make an issue of it because they were already at the parking lot, which meant he could vacate his  
seat and be above the small pain-causing fingers that he couldn't bring himself to sever.

He also found it hard to be angry at the boy, who had been genuinely excited about a nice, bright-red Ferrari.

"Oh my _god,_" Julian said, his field of vision blocked by a sea of cars. Suddenly they were locked in.

"Um," Laura made a face. "Holy! Is this a shopping center or a mosh pit?!"

"I guess I could _move_ someone out of the way," Julian said hesitantly.

Logan grinned, opened the car door. "Me and Cyke have a little trick fer this. Drive around, I'll give you a call when I've got a spot."

"You're going to scare someone," Laura said accusingly.

"That's the plan." Logan slammed the door shut and was off, striding across the lot in quick strides.

"What…" Julian asked, confused, as Laura began to open her door as well.

"He's totally going to intimidate someone to give us a spot," Laura said. "He'll watch someone going to the car, and then go and guard the space by standing  
in it, probably scaring people off with his claws. I saw him do it once." She leaned in through the open window. "I'll go and look for one too. You just get the  
car out of this jam."

"Fucking claw people!" Julian said in exasperation.

Laura grinned. "You have no idea. Insurance scams make a good quick buck, too. All I have to do is run in front of a car to be a millionaire." She blew him  
a kiss and was gone.

Julian stared ahead blankly, waiting for the jam to clear.

**…  
**

Inside the warehouse, Julian made Laura push the cart containing the two Shrimps, under the pretense of reading the shopping list (although really he was just  
terrified that Nate would get them into trouble), while Logan followed with a large orange flatbed cart.

"Want a flat screen?" Laura said, looking up at a wall of enormous flat screen televisions with a grin.

"We _have_ one," Julian said.

"This is, like, an inch bigger," she replied, studying the tag on one.

"I'm pretty sure Summers wouldn't appreciate you putting a TV on his grocery list," Logan said dryly. "Move it, half-pints. The less time I spend in here the better,  
in my opinion."

_Crack!_

All three adults snapped to attention and stared in horror at the wall of display monitors; a tiny fracture-chink had formed in the center of each screen…

Surrounded by a blue glow.

Nate was picking his nose innocently.

"_Move," _Logan ordered as spidery lines of fracture spread across the monitors.

Laura pushed the cart of Shrimps away, her lips set in a thin, firm line. _"BAD, _Nate, _BAD,_" she whispered, bending over so her mouth was beside the toddler's ear.

"Don't _play_ with the expensive stuff! And _stop picking your nose!_"

"Oh my god," Julian said, staring in horror at the wall of televisions (one of which had shorted out; the others continued to display, despite the cracks).

"What the hell are we going to—"

"_Nothing,_ Keller," Logan growled, grabbing the boy's shoulder and shoving him after Laura. "Nothing happened. Shut yer pie-hole. Fuckin' earthquakes!" He  
said the last part much louder than necessary.

Julian was so overwhelmed that he accepted this strategy without question and followed Laura and Logan as they hurried across the store with their carts and  
down the aisle of cleaning products, pretending to argue loudly about what kind of toilet bowl cleaner was needed.

"_With _bleach!" Laura snapped.

"It costs more!" Logan replied vehemently. He stiffened as he heard the employees exclaiming in the distance about the damage.

"They just called the supervisor," Laura whispered, her eyes full of fear. "But it kills bacteria!" she continued in a louder tone.

Finally Logan picked up a crate full of cleaning products and dumped it on the flatbed cart. "Happy?" He paused. "Manager bought it. Thinks it was an earthquake,"  
he whispered back, thereby explaining his comment of earlier.

Nate looked at Rachel, and the Shrimps giggled. Julian suddenly realized _where _he'd heard that laugh before—it was Laura's giggle, of pure evil, of bizarre,  
troublesome situations about to happen. For him.

**…  
**

"Holy…seriously? _Ten_ of those?!" Laura asked, staring at the enormous packages of toilet paper. "How the hell will they fit?!"

"We're getting the bigger stuff delivered, sweetheart," Logan said, in a tone that suggested she was slightly retarded.

"…_Oh,_" Laura said, wrinkling her nose.

"Jus' need one for 'em to scan," Logan said, hefting a package up and slamming it down on the flatbed. "What's next on the list, Keller?"

"Kleenex," Julian read, the paper crinkling between his fingers. "Ten packages."

"Over there," Logan said, beginning to push his cart away.

"HOLD IT!" Laura squealed suddenly. "WHERE'D THEY GO?!"

Julian started and stared at the cart. The empty cart. Logan let go of the flat, also alarmed. "You took your fuckin' eyes off them?!" he growled at Laura accusingly.

"For a half second!" Laura was white as a sheet.

"We'll find them…calm down," Julian said, touching her shoulder. She looked vaguely like she had the morning Nate had gone missing.

"KELLER! What if…what if someone…"

"They probably ran off. Let's _look_ before we jump to conclusions."

Logan sniffed the air—then looked up. "Aw, shit."

Julian followed his gaze and was only slightly surprised to see his two toddlers sitting on top of the enormous pile of toilet paper rolls, their chubby, sneakered feet  
dangling over the edge as Rachel whispered something to Nate.

"I AM GOING TO KILL THEM!" Laura snarled, her hands forming fists. White-knuckled fists. Several shoppers had stopped to watch them.

"Calm down," Julian mumbled.

"Jus' wait, Laura," Logan said reasonably. "We'll wait for a quiet moment, then Keller can nab them down, clean as a whistle."

"Right," Julian said, leaning his elbows on the cart handle and trying his best to look casual. It was quite difficult.

"What if we cause a distraction?" Laura suggested. "Logan and I could break into a fight at the end there…"

"Sounds like a plan," Logan agreed. "What should we fight over?"

"I've always wanted to replicate your peanut fight…you know, the one with Creed at the bar…" Laura said, grinning tightly.

**…  
**

"_**IT SAYS NATURAL PEANUTS!!!**_" Laura screamed, her face red.

"_**I DON'T CARE WHAT THE FLAMIN' LIST SAYS!!! THEY'RE ALMOST THREE DOLLARS OVER BUDGET!!" **_Logan roared back, his face contorted.

"_**FUCK YOUR BUDGET!" **_

"_**GO TO HELL, YOU AND YOUR PEANUTS!!" **_

"_**AT LEAST I'LL BE HEALTHY!"**_

"_**SCREW YOU!" **_

"_**SHUT THE EFF UP, ASSHAT!" **_

"_**I WON'T HAVE YOU TALKIN' TO ME LIKE THAT!" **_

"_**I SWEAR TO GOD, IF I DON'T SEE THOSE PEANUTS IN THE CART BY THE COUNT OF THREE—"**_

Julian had to admit, he'd never seen a more realistic staged fight in his life. It literally appeared like Wolverine and his clone were about to pop their claws and have at it,  
in the center of the warehouse floor, amongst the wholesale tissue boxes. A crowd of fascinated shoppers was gathering around them, and Julian thought it would now  
be safe to nab the troublemaking Shrimps.

Except they weren't there anymore.

Julian was now white as a sheet as well. "Fuck," he mumbled, looking up desperately. _There! _A sneaker disappearing over the shelf across the aisle. He soared up to the  
shelf and scrambled into the tight space just as it rounded the corner, the Shrimps having crawled onto the other side. He could hear their babyish giggling just ahead.

He pursued them on hands and knees, slowing when his shoulders got stuck between two crates of soup. "Nate! Come _here!_" he hissed.

Nothing.

"_**HALF THE KIDS ARE ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS SO NO ONE'S GONNA GIVE A DAMN ANYWAY!!" **_Logan roared in the distance.

Julian saw his chance; Nate had sprung into the air with a big smile (for some reason, having chosen today to be the day he discovered he could _fly_), with Rachel standing on  
the shelf behind him, looking hesitant.

"Ah-hah!" Julian said, wrapping his mind around the miscreant and yanking him towards him, his mental pull just stronger than the boy's. Nate made a squeaking sound  
as he shot into Julian's grasp.

"You are in _so_ much trouble," the latter ground out. "Rae…get over here, _now._"

The girl hesitated, then dove off the shelf into the air.

"GO, WAE!" Nate squealed.

"FUCK!" Julian gasped, hurling himself after the girl as she shot into the open, trailing a cloud of yellow energy.

**…  
**

Emma arrived, in her white fur stole and cape, holding a long, _Louis Vutton _clutch handbag , and wearing an annoyed frown. "Honestly!" she said, viewing Logan,  
Julian and Laura as they sat in the chairs, their heads bowed, separated from her by bars. The Shrimps sat on Laura's lap, sucking their thumbs innocently.

No body said anything for a minute.

"I've half a mind to _leave _you here," the headmistress said sternly.

"It was the flamin' Shrimps, Emma," Logan said gruffly.

"The warden informed me that you and Laura were arrested for public disturbance, something about an argument over a brand of peanuts."

Silence.

"And _you,_" Emma said, looking at Julian. "_You_ were seen 'displaying mutant abilities'. _Flying, _in the center of Costco, with your offspring."

"I was _chasing_ them," Julian said. "I didn't _know_ they were suddenly going to take off like rockets. I'm not a telepath!"

"We're not proud, okay?" Laura said, the first time she'd spoken since being arrested. "Just get us out of here, please."

Emma tapped the toe of her boot on the ground. "Costco wishes to press charges against the school. I assume no one present will inform Scott if I perform a  
little 'damage control'?"

"Just fuckin' do it, Emma," Logan growled.

Emma sighed and folded her arms. "The warden will be here in a moment. The manager's on the phone. He's just personally reviewed the security tapes, and  
realized his entire security team was smoking illegal marijuana during the incident. They've been fired, with pensions."

Sure enough, the warden was approaching the cell, his keys jingling as he explained what Emma had just said (with a baffled expression). As they walked down  
the hall, however, he stopped Logan, laying his hand on his shoulder.

"Just a bit of advice…sir…" he said. "Keep an eye on your children there. I don't know where their mother is, but…"

Laura looked away, wanting to laugh; Julian was also amused. Logan gave the man a cold look and plucked his hand off his shoulder.

"I'll keep that in mind, bub," he said gruffly.


	31. 10: king for a day 1:7 king

**A/N: **Hehe, thanks! I enjoyed writing it. Hope y'all like this arc...the plot's thickening!

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "king for a day" 10 Issue: 1/7 )**

 **Chapter 111: king ******

**

* * *

  
**

"The big day is coming up," she mumbled sleepily. They were lying in bed, Julian on his back and Laura curled up against his side, her head settled on the  
crook of his shoulder. Her eyelashes batted against his skin every now and then, causing a tickling sensation.

"Big day?" He stared up at the ceiling, the perspiration from earlier suddenly cold, chilling, as he raced through endless dates, anniversaries, holidays. The  
pleasant state of semi-sleepiness was now gone, very far away.

What had he forgotten?

April. April…Easter? They had passed that; Laura had hidden colored plastic eggs on the grounds, and they had amused themselves for an hour or so by  
trailing the Shrimps as they searched for them all. By the fifth egg both children had begun to track the scents associated with the eggs, and the rest were  
found quite quickly. There had also been some egg-painting, and chocolate, although a very minimal amount because of the fear that the Shrimps would  
go wild on this fuel (Christmas had been a learning experience that had proved Julian's anti-sugar hypothesis to be correct).

Now that the children had become aware of their abilities, they had to be very careful about how much energy they provided them with.

"The day I popped," Laura yawned.

Julian relaxed slightly. "Ohh. I thought it was something really important that I—OW!" Laura had jabbed him in the stomach with the ring (something she  
reserved for special occasions).

"This _is_ important," she hissed. "My god! Their first birthday!"

Julian teetered, bit his lip. "When is it?" he finally asked, not sure if he wanted to hear her answer.

"…" Laura paused, then decided she wasn't really one to scold for forgetting dates. "The end of the month," she whispered.

"That's plenty of time." He stroked her hair, letting his eyelids slide closed.

**…  
**

Julian paused, seeing that Laura had left her computer on (in a hurry to get to class, almost forgetting to take her backpack, then returning a minute later  
to put on her other boot). He normally didn't pry in her things; he was pleased with himself that, despite his curiosity about her inner workings at times, he'd  
never snooped in her belongings. But curiosity got the better of him, and he sat down, seeing a firefox window was open.

_Yahoo! Answers_- _My Profile_, said the tab that was loaded. He saw that it was on her username, and scrolling down, he found a list of questions asked, in  
chronological order.

_Bad dreams? Remedies? _– posted 1.7 years ago (resolved) (5 answers)

_What do I do? I've been having really bad trips lately… _1.5 years ago (resolved) (25 answers)

_Why do I keep attracting creeps?_ 1.5 years ago (resolved) (19 answers)

_My mother is making me attend a school I f*cking hate and…_ 1.3 years ago (resolved) (11 answers)

_ NEED HELP! CREEP IS OBSESSED WITH ME AND I D…_1.2 years ago (resolved) (15 answers)

_HELP! Accidentally boinked sick pervo and fear this may have enc.._1.2 years ago (resolved) (29 answers)

_ARRRGH! TODAY HE FOLLOWED ME IN CLASS AND…_1.2 years ago (resolved) (13 answers)

_Very awkward—need suggestions—desire to sleep with pervo—_1.1 years ago (resolved) (25 answers)

_Why do I feel this way? I hate him but I keep hanging around with—_1.1 years ago (resolved) (32 answers)

_Do you think I might love this guy? He's really annoying and creepy but—_1.1 years ago (resolved) (43 answers)

_Oh my god, I think I'm preggo to pervo—HELP!! What to do?!!!!!!!! _1.0 years ago (resolved) (45 answers)

Julian raised his eyebrow and clicked through a few of the questions, finding elaborate descriptions of situations he remembered quite well, from when they'd  
first met up to their abduction (of course, she'd smoothed over the parts that would seem too unusual, such as the cell, and the fact that the Shrimps had been  
science experiments). Clicking through the next few pages—yes, there were no less than _six_ pages of questions—he found inquiries on everything under the  
sun, many beginning with 'My _____ is hurting, am I dying?' under the category _pregnancy, _occasionally with the word _miscarrying _instead of _dying, _and with  
various ailments filling the blank. He snorted, reading a few of them, then checked out a few of her latest questions. There were a few about the Sofia  
situation—he frowned. He thought he'd made it quite clear to her where they stood. He read them through, clicking on the latest one.

Open Question – _by LKinney666_  
What does this mean? Confused…

_Okay, so if you've been reading up on me…I have two kids with this total loser that I somehow ended up marrying in Mexico. It's a long story…I wouldn't bother  
reading it if I were you, but there you go. Anyhow, this guy has a history with another girl at the school when I met him. Kind of. He insisted they weren't  
official, so I was okay with it, I guess. A lot happened…and so far he's reassured me it's over with them. I keep feeling twitchy though. I can just tell he's  
still attracted to her, and I'm afraid he still has feelings for her…that's what I'm afraid of, I guess, is that it goes deeper down than I can see on the surface,  
and that it's building up in him, and it's going to all blow up in my face someday. _

_So the latest thing is I overheard him kind of flirting with her during a class PE thing. She told someone to do something, he gave her this look and teased her  
about it, then called her by a term of endearment. I don't know…maybe I'm just being too uptight but I get this feeling. Any thoughts? It helps to talk, but it's  
hard to talk to him about it because he gets defensive. I guess I do too._

**24 minutes ago**

**- 4 days left to answer.**

Julian bit his lip and scrolled through a few people's answers, seeing some negative comments towards the man in question (himself). He then backed out,  
feeling a bit awkward to be reading Laura's inner sanctum. She obviously didn't want him to some of her inner feelings, since she hadn't told him everything  
about her fears regarding Sofia.

Another tab said _Facebook | Home._ He was immediately annoyed—he'd asked her, a long time ago, for her information, and she'd told him she didn't _do_ stupid  
little online things. She had a _real_ life, she'd told him, implying that he didn't.

Clicking on it, he found her page was quite established (her status said _Laura Kinney: are drinking games inappropriate for a children's 1__st__ birthday party? _– 5 minutes ago).  
She had 439 friends, and her posting wall was full, with many of the more recent comments from people at the school such as Nori and Cessily, and a few from Josh. Her  
'relationship' was set to 'single', which annoyed him further. He scrolled down and did find a large album filled with pictures of the Shrimps, and a few pictures of himself  
(some of which he didn't even know existed, as they had been taken when he was sleeping). There were also a few quizzes she had taken; '_What does Jesus think of  
you? Result: Jesus thinks you're a lazy shit.'; 'What X-man are you? Result: Wolverine'; 'What drink shot are you? Result: used condom'. _

Julian decided he was done snooping, carefully arranged everything as he had found it, then got up to go. He saw his laptop on the table and paused, realizing  
something. Something he could _do, _that might help.

He memorized her _Yahoo!_ screen name (noting that she had accumulated a respectable fan base of 257 users), then headed for his laptop. Opening a new browser, he  
navigated to _Yahoo!_ and proceeded to make a screen name, then searched for her question, thinking carefully on what he'd like to say.

**…**

**Best Answer - Chosen by Asker **

**USER: (thatguy)**

_Maybe he gets defensive because he's scared you'll come to the wrong conclusion? Maybe you mean everything to him and it frightens him, the thought that a misunderstanding  
could cause things to go the wrong way? Don't get me wrong…I'm in a situation like this, and that's what I feel when it comes up, fear. Trust me, any guy that has you is probably  
holding satanic rituals in private every night to thank whatever gods there are that you're with him. Sometimes you—everyone—needs to put things in perspective, and focus on  
what's between _you_ and _your partner_, and not what's between your partner and someone else. I hope that helps a bit and that you'll remember some of the more helpful answers  
here when situations come up. Good luck.__  
_  
2 days ago

0 Rating: Good Answer

1 Rating: Bad Answer

Asker's Rating:

****/*

Asker's Comment:

Thanks, I'll keep it in mind. You seem to have your cookies together.

**...**

_Rapraprapraprap…_

"Julian, _get the fucking door already!_" Laura yelled, typing something on her computer.

Rolling his eyes, Julian dropped the paper bill he'd been holding, onto the pile of other bills he was wondering how to pay. He headed for the door, wondering who it could be. Most  
people just called either of them on their cell phones, instead of making the trek to their house.

He opened it. "Hi," he said, as his eyes took in two crisp-suited businessmen, with shades. Dark shades, in which he could see his own reflection.

"Are you Julian Keller?" the man on the right asked.

"…yes," Julian said, not sure if he should be pulling up a shield. These men creeped him out—they could be anti-mutant activists, easily.

"May we come in?" the man on the left asked.

"Uh—"

Laura was behind him now. "What do you want?" she asked suspiciously.

"Who are _you?_" the man on the left asked.

"His wife," Laura said, in a tone that said _his mother._ Julian blinked.

"This is not addressed to you," Righty said, brandishing an envelope. "It is only for Mr. Keller. His was the only name on the will."

"Will?" Julian asked, his heart freezing.

A pause.

"Mr. Keller…we thought you had been notified."

"Notified?" he asked.

"You parents passed away at eleven fifty-five on Saturday evening at the LA general hospital. They were in a hit-and-run. The vehicle they were in was struck by an intoxicated  
driver. The operator of the Kellers' vehicle was also killed."

Julian stared at the two cold, professional-looking men calmly telling them that his parents were _dead._ His parents. Whom he'd never…never…

"Julian…" Laura put her hand on his shoulder, seeing his hands ball up into fists and sensing the changes in his heart and breathing rate. "Go sit down, _now._"

She never called him that, his first name. He walked to the sofa and sat down, the two men (who must be lawyers) following him in. Laura pulled them up chairs from the kitchen  
table, then joined him on the couch.

Julian folded his arms. "Was my brother in the car?" he asked finally.

"No. That is one of the matters we are here to discuss with you," said Lefty. His voice was softer, more human than righty.

Laura wrinkled her nose. She remembered James—Julian's younger brother, who would be about fifteen by now. He was an annoying child, in her eyes—much more so than Julian  
himself. _And_, as far as either of them knew, he was human, and thought mutants were giant freaks.

"Shit," Julian said, and for a moment she thought he meant he was upset that his brother hadn't been included in the elimination of his family, but he righted this a moment  
later. "Does he know?"

"Yes. He was at the hospital when they expired," said Righty.

_Expired. _Like a loaf of bread, or a package of meat.

"What's—what's going to happen to him?" Julian asked, pale.

"There are several options," Righty said. "There were no other relatives listed for James Keller. You are now his legal guardian, being of age. It is your choice; you can  
choose to allow him to live with you; you can find a temporary foster home for him; you can put him into state custody and offer him for adoption. You may choose to  
allow him a portion of the inheritance, or you may not. This is why we are here, to ask what is to become of James, and inform you of what you have inherited."

Julian looked overwhelmed.

"What's he inherited?" Laura asked, seeing this.

"Everything," Lefty said. He cleared his throat. "Fifty percent of the shares for Keller pharmaceuticals, a position as the exclusive CEO…a large beach property in Panama  
valued at five million, a private aircraft, several cars, and a villa in Beverly Hills, California, valued at ten point five million. This is in addition to several billion dollars in  
various accounts."

This didn't help Julian to feel less overwhelmed; now Laura felt overwhelmed, too, and felt dumb for having added to the problem.

"I thought they took me out of the will," Julian said blankly.

"I have a copy of it right here. I also have a correspondence from a Miss Noel Gottlieb, who sends her condolences. Would you like to read it?"

Julian suddenly started laughing, and Laura stood up. "I think you'd better go. He needs some space. Here…I'll give you his cell phone number." She paused. "Maybe his  
e-mail…I forgot to buy him a top-up card, and this crazy guy keeps calling from a collection agency—we're not really sure what got sent there but—anyways—" Laura was  
aware she was speaking in tangent, and she headed for the fridge and ripped a piece of paper off the "Shit to buy" list, then scribbled down the information and pressed  
it into Lefty's hand.

"We will call again tomorrow," Righty said.

"Why?" Laura asked. "It'd be a waste of your time…you can just e-mail."

"These are highly confidential matters, ma'am," Lefty offered.

"Well, it's an encrypted e-mail account. It's through the school. Staff account, should be just fine. Don't waste your time and money."

"But, ma'am," Righty said, "we work for him, now."

Laura stared at them. "…what?"

"We are his parent's lawyers...both personal, and for Keller pharmaceuticals. We head a firm of over 100 lawyers that work for the company."

"…" Laura considered this. "Uh, I guess you can drop in around three, then….we'll be back from school…wait, no, he's got physics. Uh—come on Saturday? Maybe he'll be  
a bit more calm by then."

She glanced at Julian, who was still making odd noises on the couch.

"As you wish, ma'am," Righty said, with a small bow.

Laura walked them to the door, then closed it behind them, and locked it.

"God damn it, Keller!" she burst, confused. "You…what the _hell_ is wrong with you?" she asked, seeing that he was still laughing. She knew it was a redundant question,  
but she found his reaction made the hair on the back of her neck bristle.

Finally he took a deep breath. "I can't believe it…Noel didn't even wait a week."

Laura sighed, rubbed her neck, then moved towards the couch, sucking her tongue. She didn't know how to handle situations like this; she was very bad at comforting  
upset people. She had a history of causing the upset people to cry even _harder,_ due to awkward things she'd said. She thought for a moment, then decided the money  
was the safest topic. "Damn, Keller. How did you go from worrying over the bills we're two hundred short on to having about five billion over?"

"I don't want to think about that," he said, his voice hoarse from laughing, but his eyes weren't amused anymore. "Shit…the Shrimps didn't even…"

"I wasn't going to let that crazy bitch within a hundred meters of my children," Laura said, matter-of-factly. "But yeah, I understand what you're saying." She leaned over  
and touched his knee, taking a breath. Here it came. "Keller…are you okay?"

Julian didn't answer. Instead he leaned back into the sofa. "Have to call Jim and tell him to pack…I mean…we're not going to live out there, right?"

Laura stared at him. "…what?" she asked, her nostrils flaring. This was not what she had expected to begin discussing.

Julian stared back at her. "So he can come live with us," he said. "You're not expecting me to give up the last family member I've got living, are you?"

"I thought you had, like, four people," Laura said, mildly annoyed. "One of them is _talking to you right now,_ thanks."

"I wasn't aware we were related," Julian said, sneering.

"My god! You mean, I carried two of your brats—which began to eat my insides almost as soon as they were conceived, I might add—and I'm nothing to you?! Oh, wait,  
let me guess—we're good friends, right?" Laura's voice rose in agitation without her meaning for it to.

Julian looked irritated. "Give me a fucking break. You _know_ what I mean."

Laura sighed. "Keller—your brother annoys me. It'd be like me asking Megan to come live with us."

"I wouldn't stop you, if you were the last person _she_ had left," Julian said angrily. "Laura, he's sixteen years old. He needs to be with his family right now…it won't be  
for long either. He'll be anxious to get started in life…just a few years."

Laura's lips were pressed together in a firm line. "Can't he stay at the school?"

"I don't want him to be alone," Julian said stubbornly.

Laura decided, in her typical, selfish way, that he was simply upset and out of his mind with grief; she would talk to him later, when he would see reason.

**…  
**

Monday found a slightly calmer Julian and Laura at a small, private airport, each gripping a Shrimp tightly as they followed a man in a suit towards the ramp that led into the  
plane. Laura almost dropped Nate as they entered an enormous space which contained only eight la-z-boy recliners, well spaced, and a widescreen TV.

"…what?" Laura asked, stopping to stare.

"There's a bed in the back, too," Julian said, putting Rachel down. "I totally forgot about the jet. They redid the interior, I see…used to be a white carpet, and ivory  
wallpaper. Guess they learned a little lesson from you and the limo, huh?"

The carpet was now black, and the curved walls of the plane were a dark red.

"…uh…" Laura blinked.

"Come on, it's hella comfortable," he grinned, taking her hand and leading her to a chair. "Damnit, we need the safety seats." He glanced back at the man in the suit (who had  
turned up on Friday and declared he was the butler). "Mind running back to the car and grabbing them?" he asked.

"Certainly, sir," the butler responded. Julian tossed him the keys. "Have to get some baby stuff installed in this place." He sat down. "God…this is better than our couch!" he said,  
closing his eyes. "We're totally getting a new couch, by the way. I've never been okay with that thing since Nate had that spontaneous bout of diarrhea…"

"Are you _sure_ this thing is air-safe?" Laura asked. "I mean…really, a _recliner_? A widescreen?! You've got to be kidding me. I don't want to be strapped to a _recliner_ if this thing crashes in the river…"

"I'd totally fire the pilot if we were anywhere near a river," Julian said. "And, would it make you feel safer if I remind you of the little fact that I've successfully flown a 12-seater with my _mind?_"

"It crashed into a forest," Laura said, wrinkling her nose. "And I flew out the gaping hole in its top. No, you asshole, that doesn't help…it makes me even _more_ nervous to be  
in here with you. All sorts of traumatic memories."

"You did complain about the cloth seats. You wanted leather," Julian pointed out.

"True," Laura said. She finally sat down and crossed her legs. "Um…so can I use the pool this time? You said no last time…it was about hiding the baby bump  
or something. Totally unfair."

"We're attending my parents' _funeral,_" Julian said.

Laura continued to watch him.

"Yes, you can," he said patiently. "_After._ I kind of want to…say good-bye in peace and quiet before you get me into any other weird trouble."

"Can we have a party?!" Laura asked, suddenly excited. "Oh my god!! We could invite _everyone!_ We could get a _sitter!_ We—POOL PARTY, Keller!!"

"Laura…_funeral,_" Julian said, annoyed now.

"Oh, right." Laura looked away with a disappointed expression.

"Maybe later," he said, exasperated. "You're such a douchebag!"

Laura grinned. "This is so AWESOME! I brought the swimsuit. I knew you'd approve."

"…" Julian closed his eyes. Laura was extremely sensible—most of the time. Something about visiting his parents' house—_his _house, now—always seemed to  
make all her senses go out the window.

He felt empty and cold—nothing—whenever he got near the subject of his parents. He knew he should feel something; he was expected to feel something, but  
ever since the lawyers had knocked on his door a few days ago, he'd had ice in his veins; an attack of apathy.

It helped to focus on little, unimportant details. Then he could pretend to be concerned, to act like he _needed_ to focus on something else.

"Oh, yeah, and that dress you brought for it…we need to get better clothes. My mother wrote a guest-list for her funeral…and, uh, it's kind of a red carpet  
event," Julian said, hoping discussing the funeral would make her focus on it.

"What's wrong with my dress?" Laura asked, her nose curling.

"It's leopard print," Julian said. "It's cheap…and it's completely stretched on the stomach, 'coz _someone_ squeezed three people into it." He was, of course,  
referring to the occasions she'd worn it while pregnant.

"…fine," Laura said grudgingly. "Do they have a Cherry Bomb where we're going? Or like Suzie Shier?" He was familiar with these places; cheap, semi emo-style  
clothing stores, because Laura had dragged him in countless times to browse. Surprisingly, it wasn't too bad—she usually let him pick things for her to try on,  
which could sometimes be hysterically funny (depending on how pink he went), or quite a turn-on.

"No, but there's Robertson Boulevard," Julian said. "Remember? We went there last time, and you freaked out 'coz you saw Paris Hilton. I had to drag you  
into a restaurant because you popped your claws."

"I wanted to stab her Chihuahua and have me a shish kabob," Laura said, remembering this now. "HAAHAHAHA! CHIHUAHBOB!!"

"..." Julian pulled Rachel up on his lap as they waited for the kiddy seats.

"Can I have a little dog now, too?" Laura asked. "No, wait, I want something really exotic…like a spider monkey. Or a parrot. I've starve it, so it's really mean,  
and I'll teach it to attack people when I say random words, like—"

"Jesus, Laura," he said.

"Not _that, _I avoid holy words whenever I can because they make me feel funny inside. Kind of smoky—I get a twinge in my—"

"I should make you ride with the luggage," he said, tiredly.

"So you can have the TV to yourself? NO WAY!" Laura folded her arms around Nate, who clapped his hands. "LAMBCHOPS!" the boy squealed.

"Uh, not right now, Nate," Julian said, glaring at Laura for having drawn the boy's attention to the word TV. They generally avoided it now, because Nate would  
always begin choosing what they would watch.

"_**WANT,**_" the twins said in unison. Rachel then coughed and blinked, as per usual, and Nate watched his parents eagerly for the result.

The butler arrived at that moment with the child seats, and they strapped the children in amongst cries of "WANT, WANT, WANT" and "LAMBCHOPS, JOO,  
LAMBCHOPS!!! _**LAAMMMMMBBBCCCHHOOOPPPPPPSSSS!!!!!!!**_"

When Nate finally quieted down, it was only because Lambchops was playing on the wide screen. He sucked his thumb, and he and Rachel made gurgles of  
amusement, while Julian tapped his fingers on the armrest, glaring at Laura, who in turn was looking at the floor with a dull look.

"Bring us some booze, would you?" Julian asked the butler, realizing they could, with the man there to watch the Shrimps.

It would definitely make the flight pass faster.

"Certainly," the man said, and he felt better as he saw a medium-sized flask of whiskey approach him, with two small glasses.

Laura brightened upon seeing the bottle.


	32. 10: king for a day 2:7 queen

**A/N: **Yayayay nother chapter. Will also be posting chapter 2 of **Prisoner: Y** on the website. I think I'm going to break in and post it on the fanfic story as well...perhaps the first chapter  
wasn't enough to draw people in ;-) By the second chapter, it gets more involving, I think.

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "king for a day" 10 Issue: 2/7 )**

 **Chapter 112: queen ******

**

* * *

  
**

Julian stared at his brother, who stared back at him resentfully with pink-rimmed gray eyes. He'd obviously been crying, quite hard.

He envied him.

James had grown about half a foot since he'd last seen him, and he had less freckles. His face had leaned more towards their father's features, while  
Julian's had leaned towards their mother's, Madelyne Pryor.

"Why are _you_ here?" James asked, his voice hoarse from crying.

Julian didn't know what to say. "To say goodbye to our parents?" he said finally. "And if you're good, I _might _bring you with me."

"Fuck you! I want to be put up for adoption!" James snapped, his face pink. "I'd rather _die_ than go to your freak-school and have to live amongst a bunch  
of fuckin' _muties! _I HATE YOU! _**I HOPE YOU DIE AND GO TO HELL!!!**_"

James screamed the last part at him, then turned and ran up the grand staircase, leaving Julian to consider that his family now consisted of a set toddlers in  
their volatiles twos, and an emo teenager. This was all, of course, in addition to a hormonal, female Wolverine that experienced strong PMS.

He rubbed his face with his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"What?" Laura asked, from the doorway. "_Why_ am I dying and going to hell now? Besides the obvious, of course…I'm always interested to hear different  
interpretations. Adds variety to life, I think!"

Julian sighed. "He's just doing what I'd have done. At that age, I mean."

"Really? And here I was thinking he was more mature than you."

"Shut up." Julian rolled his eyes. "Let's get our stuff put away…I'm tired."

"We sat for eight hours in la-z-boys, drinking whiskey and watching a widescreen TV while our kids were entertained and put to sleep by the butler. You even dozed off,  
on the feather bed in the back. How can you be tired, you lazy shit?" Laura asked with an expression of sick fascination.

"Damnit, Laura," he said, but he grinned slightly. "Just do it."

"Let's check if they restocked the booze cabinet here," Laura said thoughtfully. "I mean, nothing could be as good as last time, but…"

**…  
**

It was around three in the morning, and Julian couldn't sleep. Something about the cold. He wandered around the house, picking up various objects and staring at them, trying  
to associate memories with them. Occasionally he found something; most of them were objects from his childhood, such as photos, or nick-knacks Madelyne had kept for  
whatever odd reasons.

He found an old, dusty album and sat down in the stark, modern 'living room', on the ivory sofa that he had always privately thought felt like a church bench. He coughed a little  
as he opened the album, thinking how odd his mother had been. There had been a time when she was a parent to him, when he was about six or seven. But she'd been  
frustrated by the low income; she'd always shopped beyond their means, leading to loud arguments between herself and his father, who was infatuated with her. How  
could he not be? Madelyne was beautiful—with fiery red hair, bright blue eyes, and delicate features that spoke of compassion and love.

But her appearance was so very deceiving. And it had been those qualities that had brought them to trouble. He suspected his father had done things—terrible things—to get  
money, to keep Madelyne happy. To keep her hooked; Julian suspected she had a wandering eye. He'd doubt his own heritage severely if he didn't have a few of his father's features.

Opening the album, he found pictures of himself and James. As newborns, as babies, as toddlers. He stared at one picture of himself and realized it was almost identical to  
one of Nate's, sans the striped camouflage markings.

"What…"

He looked up. Laura was leaning on the doorframe, squinting at him, her hair disheveled. "Why are you in _here?_"

"Couldn't sleep." Julian flipped the album page.

Laura considered him. "What's that? Is it—" her eyes widened.

"No," he said, snapping the album shut quickly.

"KELLER! You said you didn't _have_ baby pictures!" Laura squealed, fully awake now. She lunged towards him, yanked the book out of his hands (even though he tried to toss  
it behind the sofa), then sat down with it and flipped it open, seemingly ignoring his glare.

"Things are better if you share them," she said after a few moments had passed.

Julian considered this.

"Fine," he said, folding his arms.

"Where's this?" she asked, pointing at a picture of Madelyne and her family standing in what looked like an amusement park.

"Disney Land," he said. "When I was, like, five. Jim was a few months old."

Laura flipped the page. "HAHAHHAA! Is that you?"

"…no," Julian said, flushing slightly. He'd forgotten about that picture.

"You _peed your pants!" _

"Goofy was scary, ok? He was, like, eight feet tall, and he wanted my ice cream cone. You'd have been scared too."

"Not really," Laura said. "Let's see…when _I_ was five, I was choreographing Wolverine's Weapon X simulations. There was this big bear that was kind of intimidating  
at first. Sort of the same thing, except he kept ripping out my leg and gnawing at it. Always the left one, too."

"I see," Julian said, but he didn't sound as shocked as he might have. He'd _seen_ what the facility was capable of…he'd witnessed a few things that had kept him  
up at night, while being held captive there.

He leaned over and rested his chin on her shoulder, uncertain. If he should ask.

Laura was smart—she might put two and two together.

"Cut me?" he said finally, risking it.

Laura paused, lingering too long on a picture of him in the bathtub, at two. He had a bubble hat, and a rubber duck not too unlike Nate's and Rachel's (they had  
an entire family of ducks, complete with ducklings).

"Why?" she asked, after a few moments.

"Because," he mumbled.

She considered this, then pushed the album to the side and took his hand in hers, wordlessly, making a fist with her other digits.

"Last time," she told him afterwards, her eyes serious.

**…  
**

_Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick…_

The clock on the wall. Julian was sitting at one end of the long dining room table, while James sat at the other. Complete silence dominated the room; the former had  
tried to make conversation, but was now receiving the silent treatment from his sibling, who wouldn't even make eye contact.

Julian felt awkward.

Suddenly, the Shrimps came running into the room, looking excited. James looked away in disgust—he was even more bigoted than Julian remembered, which was  
troublesome. He didn't understand how the boy could have become an anti-mutant sympathist, seeing as three-fifths of his family had been mutants. Maybe it was  
resentment, that he'd been left out. He could see _that_, and understand it; Julian himself would have been quite upset if it had been the other way around.

"DINNER!" Laura yelled suddenly, following the Shrimps into the dining room and carrying three boxes of pizza, which she slammed down on the table.

"Nature's bounty! Feast on the goodness of the pepperoni tree!" she added.

"What about plates?" Julian asked. Laura was already cramming a slice into her mouth and stopped, her eyes wide and her cheeks bulging like a chipmunk, with  
tomato sauce running down her chin.

"Git it urfelf," she said.

Julian looked at the cupboard across the room, and the door flew open. A stack of dishes flew out, one by one, and settled themselves on the table in front of  
them. James jumped up, his chair screeching across the floor, his face livid; then he ran out of the room.

"I'm _all _for—_mmphf—_him coming an liffing wif uf," Laura said.

"Shut up. He's just being difficult right now because…" Julian paused, not really knowing how to answer this. What _was_ James feeling? "_You've_ never had a  
parent die, have you?" he said instead.

Laura paused. She was about to say 'no', when she remembered something, just at the edge of her memory. Something about that confused time she'd  
spent in Mexico, in a phone booth, trying to understand that the images in her mind, of Sarah dead in the snow, hadn't happened. For her.

"I guess it would be hard," she said instead, licking her fingers.

**…  
**

_Knock. Knock. Knock. _

"FUCK OFF!" James yelled, throwing his book at the door. "I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU, JULIAN! I—"

There was an odd, metallic noise; the doorknob turned, and the door opened a crack. "Are you decent?"

It was that _girl, _the skanky one that Julian seemed to share a brain with now.

He didn't know what the deal was with them, but he'd heard mom tell him, gravely, that his brother was as good as dead to the family. She'd gone on to  
tell him what a horrible person this girl was.

And they'd had _more_ mutant kids, little toddlers with stripes all over them. It made him sick to see them running around, perversions of nature.

"I don't want to talk to you either!" James snapped. "Get out of here or I'll—I'll call the cops and tell them you're breaking in!"

"Technically, this house is part mine," the girl said, opening the door further. "I just wanted to, uh, see how you're doing."

James glared at her. "Phenomenal. LEAVE."

The girl sucked her tongue for a moment. "You know, if you keep pushing everyone away, you're going to end up being alone," she said.

"That's the idea."

"It's not all that great." She paused. "I've been there…once you're alone, you realize that you'd do anything to go back. And then it's too late."

"You're not me, are you?" James asked. "You don't _know_ me at all. And I'm glad. You and _him_ make me sick, really sick, and it's your fault. If I were a mutie  
like you, I'd just do the world a favor and kill myself."

The girl looked undisturbed. "Look—I could give a fuck less about how you feel…except you seem to mean a lot to your brother."

"I hope he dies," James said, wrinkling his nose. "I hope he gets caught by some experiment place and they take care of him for _good, _so he never  
comes back. I hope they get you too."

"They did," she said flatly. "A year ago, we were captured, walking home from a bar. We were interned for over a week, with no food, no water, no light. Then  
we were physically abused by a handler, who ripped bones out of my arms and slammed him repeatedly into a brick wall. When I found him again, he was going  
to have his head cut open and his brain removed. He was covered in surgical markings and doped on paralytic drugs."

A moment of silence. Laura avoided speaking about this experience as much as possible, but she thought it might bring things into perspective for the boy.

"Good," James said savagely. "My only regret is he got away!"

She folded her arms. "You're coming to live in my house. Your attitude better improve, because I will _not_ tolerate comments like that around my children."

"If you try to make me come to your sweaty nest of mutant larvae, whore, I'll hurt them. I'll poke their eyes out and twist their little limbs and cut the patterns off  
their skin to make rugs. I'll set them on fire. I'll get in touch with every organization I can find and get them to shut down your school, for once and for all. I'll—"

_WHUMP! _Like a viper, she had shot into his room, grabbed him by his shirt collar and slammed him into the wall, against his Slipknot poster, her grip so tight  
his legs dangled in the air.

_Snkkt! _Two shining blades were held to his throat, ready to jab up, through the underside of his jaw.

"Fucker, I know you're hurting, and I know you're angry…and I came to talk, to play nice…but if you lay _one_ finger on my children, I will turn you into a torso  
and cauterize the open wounds, his brother or not," the girl hissed. "I've done it before. I won't hesitate, if I think you're a threat."

She pressed the blades into his throat, slicing the skin. For a second he choked, thinking she'd cut his throat; then he heard the blades retract, and she  
dropped him. He fell on the floor, holding his throat.

"Remember that," she said, then left the room, slamming the door behind herself.

James watched the door for a long while, shaking and trying to understand what had just happened. He was angry—angry at her, and somehow  
protective (of what he wasn't sure)—and confused.

He couldn't understand why he was really turned on.

**…  
**

Julian was standing in the store, watching Laura browse through shelves of books, looking for something to read. He thought about his brother's odd  
behavior of late. Last night, he'd spoken to him again—pulled him aside in the hallway as he headed up to bed—and told him in a whisper, 'that bitch  
is crazy'. Julian would've thought he was just being his usual, nasty self, but the terror in James's eyes was _real_.

The boy wouldn't go into further details, and he ran off afterwards, leaving Julian wondering just what had transpired.


	33. 10: king for a day 3:7 castle

**A/N: **So I did it--Chapter 2 of _Prisoner: Y _has been posted on , but remember, that's the last one going on here. The rest will be posted to its website, **h t t p : / / prisoner . forever . as  
**This is due to the content matter of the story. Serious adult stuff! =O

**Random note: **I dunno, I'm kind of playing with the idea of trying to write a real book, with none-Helix characters (lol). Think I could do it, guys?

**PS- **New Bif Naked CD, _the promise, _is out. Holy, I bought an autographed copy! I am a happy girl and it is fueling my fics 100 percent. I admire Bif Naked very much, she's had a tumultuous  
life. She got married recently and 6 months after was diagnosed with cancer; she was going through chemotherapy while she recorded this CD, and she named it _the Promise _because she  
made a promise to finish it. That's amazing, those are the kind of people that keep me going too! Everyone cross your fingers for Bif, she deserves it.

Oh and more good news, Tori Amos has _Abnormally attracted to sin _coming out on May 19. It's like $20 for a package of pure inspiration, prolly worth about a million chapters or so =D

Toodles!

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "king for a day" 10 Issue: 3/7 )**

 **Chapter 113: castle ******

* * *

"Holy!" Laura said, flipping the pages of the program Julian had handed to her, for an opinion. "I wish this many people would come to _my_ funeral!"

"After a few years, they will," Julian said flatly. "They're all swooping around like hawks hoping for worms. Except it's money they're after."

Laura rolled her eyes and passed the program back to him.

"It looks fine, go with it," she said in a bored tone.

Julian suddenly realized that she was holding a pencil. And that she'd been unsupervised with the pamphlet for about 10 seconds when the print  
consultant had asked him a question about the stock of paper he wanted.

And she was bored.

He ripped it open, flipped through the pages, his eyes searching. Laura looked away as he came to the schedule.

"DAMNIT, Laura!" he burst.

She grimaced, trying not to laugh.

_After-funeral pool party—ding dong, the witch is dead! 3:00 at 1616 Smithe Blvd., _the pamphlet said, on the last entry.

"You are the world's biggest fucking asshole! GIVE ME THAT!" He ripped the pencil out of her hand and erased the entry hurriedly. The print consultant  
on the other side of the counter gave him a wary look.

"Sorry," he said to the consultant. "She can't be trusted around writing implements. She—" he looked down at his hand as Laura scribbled nonchalantly  
on his skin with a random sharpie marker that had been lying on the counter.

The back of his hand now bore a drawing of a big happy face.

"Excuse me." He took Laura by the shoulders and steered her to the door. "_You_ go wait in the car," he told her sternly.

"But—" Laura said.

"_Now."_

"Fine. I hate you." Laura said, pouting, as she exited the shop.

**…  
**

Julian watched Laura very carefully throughout the day, noting that she didn't tolerate boredom very well. The Shrimps were being watched by a nanny as  
they ran errands (his old one, a kindly elderly lady who had attended his preteen years), and therefore she was left to her own devices.

He wondered, idly, as he scolded Laura in the middle of a clothing store (picking out a suit for himself to wear at the funeral, since he no longer had clothing  
suitable for his level of wealth) if he should have gotten her to supervise the girl as well.

He'd caught Laura at a shoe rack, tying the laces together.

"Can you _please_ stop being a pain in my ass and _help_ me?" he asked in exasperation, his forehead wrinkled.

Laura grinned. He didn't know, but that's _why_ she did it in the first place; to cause him to make that exact expression. It was cute, like the face he made  
when he did his hair in the mirror.

"No," she said.

"Go wait in the car," he ordered again, folding his arms.

"Fine," she said. She paused and nodded to a suit on a display. "Just my random opinion, but I like that one. With, like, a keyboard tie."

Julian glared at her until she left the store, but found himself considering the suit, and, after trying it on, paying for it, annoyed that Laura had been right.

**…  
**

"I'm really tired," Laura murmured, at dinner, with a 'bunch of people (she) didn't give two shits about that look and sound like turkeys', while wearing a  
constricting nylon garment that might as well have been a plastic garbage bag for the amount of ventilation it gave her skin. "Can't we leave?"

"In a bit," Julian whispered, touching her hand under the table. He hadn't wanted to come either, but the host had 'insisted', and his lawyers had informed  
him that it would be a mistake to decline because apparently the company was all tied up with this man. Or something like that. Both the Keller boys had  
been invited, as well as Laura, while the Shrimps, again, got to duck out with the Nanny; and Julian found he was beginning to envy them and wishing _  
he_ could stay home and watch _Lambchops_, a sure sign that he was bored and tired.

This had really hit home when he'd almost eaten his own tie (not hard to do—the color was almost identical to the steak he was trying to eat, and it had  
blended in quite well).

James was sulkily forking at his food, but everyone seemed to accept this. He was a _teenager, _he was an _orphan, _he was allowed to be 'upset'. Somehow,  
by two years and the subsequent loss of the _–teen _suffix on his age, Julian had lost this privilege and was expected to put on a good face.

"So, Julian, do you enjoy being back in Beverly Hills?" some lady he didn't remember asked him, smiling. She'd gushed, earlier, that he'd 'grown like a _weed!_'  
and that he 'look(s) _just _like Elizabeth!'. He found himself trying to imagine what she looked like about ten or so years ago. He mentally subtracted about  
forty pounds, changed her hair color, and ironed out her face; and finally he realized she'd lived three houses down the street from him.

"It's, uh, the same," he said. "New York's colder, I guess…I kinda like—"

**_CLATTER!_**

He stopped mid-sentence to stare at Laura, his eyes wide (along with the rest of the table). She'd tipped forward, and her head had fallen neatly in her salad,  
amongst the lettuce, simultaneously releasing a small snore. The clatter had been her fork catapulting off the table to the floor.

Julian wanted to laugh, but from the expression on the host's face, he knew that could be an expensive mistake; he grinned apologetically instead. "She's…uh,  
had a long day…not feeling too good…the kids wear her out."

Several older women smiled in understanding, even though not one single person present except for himself and Laura had ever spent time maintaining their  
children, having left it all to nannies. He tapped Laura's hand under the table, thinking his usual wakeup call of 'earth to asshole' wouldn't be appropriate.

"Uh—wha?" Laura sat up, a piece of lettuce stuck to her forehead, and a string of drool hanging from the corner of her mouth.

He handed her a napkin, dangerously close to laughing now.

"This _blows._ I want to go home," James said, looking away.

Silence. Sympathetic glances from the turkey people, their waddles shaking slightly as they turned their heads, waiting for his reaction.

"Er," he said awkwardly.

**…  
**

"You guys!" Julian fumed, in the parking lot. Laura was holding herself and teetering on her heels, while James was standing with folded arms, still sulking,  
his longish bangs in his eyes.

"Look! I'm _trying_ to hold things together! You could at least help me out!"

"What did you expect?" Laura asked, kicking the ground with her pointed shoe. "You trapped me in a room full of elderly rich people while I'm _exhausted_. The  
most entertaining part of the evening was that old guy losing his dentures on his steak. God, you'd think he could at least afford _real_ teeth…"

"Laura…_you_ need to do better. I'm doing this, all of this, to make sure the Shrimps have enough money to take care of themselves." Julian's eyes were full of anger,  
and slightly bloodshot. He was exhausted himself. They'd been to a million different places that day, and lunch with another crowd of boring people, under similar  
circumstances.

"Well, I'm sorry I failed the turkey-people challenge," Laura said sarcastically. "I just wasn't strong enough, and I failed. I admit it. And the only thing worse than  
enduring _that_ is getting a _lecture _about it from Cyclops jr!"

James snorted, on the side. They glanced at him for a moment; although he'd affected to ignore Laura the days prior, lately he had been almost appreciative.

Since the confrontation.

Laura ignored him.

"You _should_ be sorry," Julian ground out relentlessly. "Otherwise we're back to where we were before…unable to cover bills. Worse, because there's another  
mouth to feed now." He pointed at James.

"I don't _want_ to be in your life!" his brother snapped. "I'll run away!"

"Fine by me," Julian said. "Try getting a job. Just _try_ it, Jim…you won't last five seconds. You're spoiled."

Laura yawned loudly, making no effort to conceal it. "You're one to talk, Keller," she said, once it had passed. "You haven't even had a _real_ job yourself. You just  
watch a bunch of slow kids draw pictures, for four hours a week."

"Shut up," Julian said. "If _I_ think that's hard, then think what _he'll_ be like at a job," he added, looking at his brother.

Laura paused, following his gaze. "You're absolutely right. I don't see him pumping gas. He'd get hand cramps trying to open the tank caps."

James glared at them. "Fuck you."

"Language, minor," Laura said icily. "Only grown-ups get to swear."

"That means you can't, either," Julian pointed out. "Damnit, stop sidetracking me! I'm not happy with either of you and I need to know that you'll at least start  
making an effort! I only care about this because I'm worried for _you_ guys!"

Laura sighed.

"I want to go home, and sleep. And shower. Maybe sleep in the shower with my mouth open and drown myself, because this is a joke-life," she said.

Julian glared at her, then fished the keys out of his pocket.

**…  
**

Laura paused, in the shower, her hair running down her back, and she looked at the door, listening. She'd been thinking about the events of late—especially  
the other night, with Julian and his request—when she heard something. A heartbeat approaching, at a slightly elevated pace. She tilted her head and inhaled;  
past the chlorine smell of the water, and the scent of her own sweat on her clothes in the hamper, and the slightly foul smell of the toilet, she detected James  
at the door.

The doorknob twisted, ever-so-slightly, as it was tried.

She raised her eyebrow. He _knew_ it was occupied—he would hear the shower.

Laura sucked her tongue, and inhaled again, paying attention to minute details.

This wasn't good.

**…  
**

"Laura…"

They were back at the enormous residence, in Julian's old room, and he was still carrying on about the same subject. In the dark.

"For the love of GOD!" Laura snapped, sitting up. "Can you be QUIET and let me SLEEP?! I am sick to death of dealing with rich people and their fucking flimsy  
complaints!! Just be glad I didn't go AWOL and put everyone out of their misery!!"

Julian sat up, too, his eyes glowing. "This is a _really_ hard time for me. My parents just died, and suddenly I'm the one having to tie up all their lose ends. You  
could at least support me, like I've supported you the whole time!"

They glared at each other in the dim green light.

"I don't even get to spend time with my babies anymore!" Laura said spitefully, even though she'd only had to leave them with the nanny for two days.

"Because we're planning a _funeral,_" Julian said. "You _know_ that. The sooner it's over, the sooner everything's back to normal."

Laura's lips pressed together. "Nothing's going to be _normal._ Suddenly I'm looking at spending my life in the same house as that brat you call your brother,  
who threatened to hurt the Shrimps."

"What?" Julian asked, despite himself.

"I wasn't going to say anything. He threatened to do shit to them…I had to have a little talk with him," Laura said angrily. "He's not good, Keller. He's got a  
streak of the good ol' crazies from Madelyne." She refrained from mentioning the shower incident, figuring she had enough ammunition.

"Take that back," Julian said, even though he knew this might be true.

"Whatever you want. Your wish is my command, as long as I get paid, because I'd sign my soul and dreams away for a big house and a lot of money!" Laura  
snapped, dropping down flat on the bed and rolling her back to him.

Julian stared into the darkness angrily.


	34. 10: king for a day 4:7 pawn

**A/N: ****BLUSH** aww thank you!! I do so love writing them...something just fits for me. I can never write an entirely serious story; and there you go, Hellion and X-23 are never going to be an entirley serious couple, they're too different and too alike at the same time. So we've got a good little working deal going!X-D

**NOTE: **I've been a bad girl. Check my author page for...'**save your breath**', a 616 fic with the style of Snff but a different plot. I just sat down and wrote most of it already in its entirety (yeah _so i went to school without sleeping again and nearly shot off the chemistry chair! they're so fricken high and they're on wheels, my god! HOLY EMBARASSING! To top it off, I was a half hour late due to last-minute spontaneous nausea. Seriously...WTF. I was the classmate bringing in the lab report too...oh well, I'm reliable like metamucil! that's how I describe myself my boyfriend). _Ahem. So far, I'd have to say...even though I _love_ writing Helix and Cowpie...I really had a blast with this new one I put up. I got to touch into a whole bunch of ideas I haven't gone near before. Like...oh, say, what if Laura was friends with Sofia and hated Julian? And what if said Julian was being his usual snob self, instead of 'grown up' as I like to write him? Like I said...616. I'm talking DeFilippis and Weir here.

Also, will post some more Cowpie II this weekend, cross my heart n swear to die. Probably mOBSCENE too since I still have a bunch written.

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "king for a day" 10 Issue: 4/7 )**

 **Chapter 114: pawn ****  
**

**

* * *

  
**

Laura remained uncharacteristically silent throughout the entire funeral (the Shrimps being babysat by a nanny, as they had agreed the toddlers  
should not be subject to such a depressing atmosphere). She was silent even when security officers tried to force her to sit with the hundred-or-so  
guests instead of the family (until Julian, in a bad mood, straightened the matter out and fired one of the officers quite unceremoniously).

She felt guilty about the argument, especially after she considered what a situation Julian was in, but she found it hard to apologize, as she believed  
every word she'd said. She'd be lying if she backed down.

Finally, they stood outside, with the two coffins in the graveyard, and Laura watched as the two Keller boys approached it. She wondered if she  
should follow, feeling awkward (as she really hadn't been Madelyne's biggest fan) and hung back, until Julian looked around for her and motioned  
for her to approach. So she did, slowly and carefully; he put his arm around her and stared at the coffins with dry eyes that looked somehow distant.

"I really wish she could've met the Shrimps," he said. "And dad…I can't believe they're gone."

James edged away from them.

Laura inhaled through her nose, to see if what she'd detected earlier in the boy's scent still held true—and her eyes widened.

She stared at the coffins, and inhaled again.

"Keller…there's nothing in them," she murmured.

Julian frowned in annoyance. "Huh?"

"They're empty. Your parents aren't in the coffins," Laura whispered.

"What?" Now James was curious.

"Why would they be empty?" Julian looked at the coffin. "They told me they were in there."

"I don't know," Laura whispered. "I can smell it, though…there's nothing but fabric and wood…and earth. _What are you doing?!_" the latter part was  
directed at James, who had placed his hand on the corner of his mother's coffin, about to raise the lid. "You don't _peak!_"

"How do I know it's empty?" James hissed back.

"Because she said so," Julian mumbled. "She can smell just about anything. It's one of her powers." He paused. "I'll ask the funeral director, later.  
I don't see any reason that they'd be empty…"

"No." Laura, firmly. "Don't say anything. I smell a rat."

"Where?" James asked, alarmed.

"She meant a metaphorical rat," Julian said in a tired voice.

**…  
**

They were sitting in a fancy parlor, himself and James. Righty, of a week prior, was seated across from them, holding a letter in his hands. Laura  
wasn't present, as it had been requested that only the heirs be allowed to hear the reading.

"…including a sea craft and 13 acres of property at 113 Wilkes Road, Panama," Righty read aloud. "Also including a property at 1616 Smithe Blvd., a total of 5 acres…"

Julian wasn't able to concentrate too well. He'd been disturbed by Laura's realization that the coffins were empty. What was going on?

"…three Bentley limousines, manufactured in the year…"

Had the bodies been stolen? Was this some weird X-men thing? Julian stiffened—wasn't there something about Mr. Sinister and his mother? After  
he'd found out his mom was a clone, he'd asked Scott a few questions, and gotten a brief explanation of her story.

Why _wouldn't_ Mr. Sinister want to reclaim his work?

But why would he take his father as well?

"…sign on the line, please." Righty was holding a golden fountain pen out to him, and he took it, and accepted the paper on the clipboard.

He looked down at it and the sheet of paper the man had been reading—the will—was blank.

"What the—" he looked up at Righty, and suddenly realized how odd it was that the man wore reflective sunglasses indoors.

Righty smiled.

Righty was not 'Righty' at all.

"Hello, Julian," the Kingmaker said. "I trust you remember our little arrangement?"

Julian glanced at his brother, who was staring into space with a fixed expression.

"What did you do?!" he demanded, waving his hand in front of the boy's face.

"Don't worry," the Kingmaker said. "It's just us, for now. I've got friends in high places…including yourself."

The man leaned forwards. "Are you enjoying your wealth?"

Julian was cold. "You killed my parents, didn't you?"

Kingmaker only smiled.

"THAT WASN'T PART OF THE DEAL!" he shouted, leaping to his feet. "Bring them BACK! I NEVER SAID TO KILL THEM!! YOU FUCKING—"

"Anything you did, you did yourself, Mr. Keller," Kingmaker reminded him. "I'm here for my payment."

"I will _never_ pay you!" Julian snapped. "I'm going to kill you back!"

He realized what a weak declaration it was almost the second he has said it.

Kingmaker looked amused.

"My dear boy, do you really think I _can_ be killed? It will do you no good. I will inform your wife of your actions, and your children. And…how do you  
think your brother will react to learning that _you_ are responsible for his new status as an orphan?"

Julian stared at the Kingmaker, his face white. "…what?" he asked.

"This is, in fact, your doing," the Kingmaker said. "You wished to be the sole heir to the Keller fortune. You have become so. I demand payment."

Julian's fisted hands shook at his side. His initial outburst of rage at the Kingmaker had been washed over with an ocean of guilt. "I—I never  
meant for you to kill them," he said in a small, confused voice.

The Kingmaker paused. "There was no other way," he said, a bit more kindly. "With a telepath as strong as Madelyne Pryor…death was the  
absolute solution. Now…as to the favor I require of you."

"NO!" Julian's eyes glowed green and he knocked over the furniture around himself. "I'll _never_ help you! I'll—"

"A contract is a contract, Mr. Keller," the Kingmaker said, holding up his fingers, poising them. "You don't want to know what happens to your brother if I snap my fingers."

Julian stared down at his brother, still sitting, staring off into space.

"You will do as I say, otherwise I will take his life, as well as the life of Laura Keller, and the two children you share with her. It would hardly begin  
to consolidate your debt to me, but I would be forced to accept it."

"…" Julian was speechless.

"This contains your instructions," the Kingmaker said, reaching into his business suit and withdrawing an envelope. He held it out, then dropped it  
on the floor in front of Julian when he refused to accept it.

"Do not, under any circumstances, allow Mrs. Keller to discover what has transpired," the Kingmaker said pleasantly. "You have three days to complete  
the request in the envelope. _Au revoir, _and enjoy your fortune."

_Poof! _The Kingmaker disappeared in a cloud of black soot, and suddenly James unfroze.

"What—" he asked.

The soot was already gone. The room had rearranged itself. Julian surveyed his surroundings, his eyes wide, then he left the room without responding  
to James' unfinished question, his back very stiff.

James looked down and saw an envelope.

**…  
**

"What's up with _you?_" Laura asked, wiping damp hair off her face (she'd just been swimming) as she entered the living room again with a towel wrapped  
around her form, only to find Julian _still _sitting with his arms folded, a broody expression on his face.

Laura sighed. "Keller…I know it's hard, but you're not going to feel any better if you sit around and brood on it. Do you really think that's what your parents  
would want, for you to stop living?"

"Actually, yes," Julian said seriously.

Laura studied his expression.

"Are you—are you _blaming_ yourself for this?" she asked suddenly, recognizing the look. This caught him off-guard, and he looked at her, startled, a trickle of  
adrenaline running down his spine. "W-what?"

"This isn't your fault," Laura said, her nose wrinkled.

_Snff. _

She raised her eyebrow. "Why do you smell afraid?"

Julian stared at her, even paler (if possible). He had been white as a sheet to begin with, ever since the reading of the will. Now he was sweating.

He swallowed.

_Do not, under any circumstances, allow Mrs. Keller to discover what has transpired._

Julian battled with himself for a moment, then it all came tumbling out.

"I've fucked up, pretty badly," he babbled, with Nate's wide-eyed expression of guilt. "Really, _really_ badly, you're going to hate me _so_ much, and I might  
as well go put my eye out with a pencil—"

"Woah, woah," Laura said, holding up her hand. "Holy emo, Keller! No need to get drastic…I'm sure it can't be _all_ that bad…"

Julian felt like biting his nails. "Yeah, it's pretty bad," he said. "Uh, I sort of killed my parents."

Silence.

"…what?" Laura asked, narrowing one eye in a frown of confusion.

Julian grimaced. "Um…you remember how you tell me not to do this one thing? Well, I kind of didn't listen. Because I'm a dumbass."

"…" Laura waited patiently.

"Kingmaker," Julian added guiltily.

"_Keller!" _Laura gave an exasperated sigh, rolling her eyes. "Oh my god, you _are_ a dumbass." She approached him; he cringed, but she sat down on the  
couch, her face strained. She bit her lip.

"So, what does he want now?" she asked.

"Um," Julian said. He hadn't even gone that far in his logic—he was still processing the fact that he was responsible for his parents' murder. He felt another  
chill pass through him as he realized it was _even worse. _"I—I'm not sure…I'm a little hung up on…uhh…"

Laura folded her arms and watched him.

"Jesus," Julian said. "Fucking hell! This is…"

"Pretty bad, yes," she said flatly. "But it makes sense."

Julian stared at her. "…what?"

"Like I said…there were no bodies at the funeral," Laura said, her eyebrows arched. "Don't you think, if he _had_ killed them, he would have been eager to  
dispose of the corpses with such a perfect opportunity?"

"…" Julian paused. "You think they're alive?" he asked.

Laura tilted her head. "Maybe. What did Kingmaker want from you?"

"I don't know," he said, confused. "There was an envelope…_shit!_ I didn't take it."

Laura continued to watch him.

"I left it in that stupid room where the will was supposed to be read. He didn't even _have _the will—it was a blank sheet of paper. Kingmaker was that lawyer  
guy—you know—the mean one who said he worked for me—then he teleported out—it was so weird…"

"Psychics," Laura said immediately. "He's got psychics. Here's what we're going to do…"

**…  
**

James cradled the phone to his ear with his shoulder, staring at the sheet of paper with the letterhead. The envelope sat on his bed, opened.

_Ring. Ring. Ring. _

_Click, _as the phone connected.

"_You have attempted to contact the Kingmaker. Please speak your name." _

"James Keller," he said, confidently.

A pause.

_Click,_ as the phone disconnected.

James shook it impatiently. "What the—piece of crap!"

He threw the phone across the room and folded his arms, sulking.

**…  
**

The next morning found Julian speaking with the funeral parlor owners as Laura searched the room that the will had been read in for the Kingmaker's envelope,  
to no avail. It was gone. In the parking lot they reconvened, leaning on the shiny black Lexus (which had belonged to Julian's father) as they pondered their next  
options. Which were few.

"Should I, uh, try to find his number?" Julian asked, his arms folded and his forehead wrinkled as he considered the implications.

"I guess," Laura said grimly.

They continued to lean, in silence. Both had dressed in clothes similar to the ones worn for the funeral, needing to maintain the parlor's opinion. It was  
uncomfortable; Laura kept twisting her left ankle, not used to wearing heels. She rotated it absentmindedly as she thought over the situation.

"JAMES!" Julian exclaimed suddenly.

"Ow!" Laura had twisted her ankle again, startled. "What about him?"

"He was in the room…alone…with the envelope, for a couple minutes after I left," he said. "He must've taken it."

"It's worth a shot," Laura said.

**…  
**

_Creak, _as Laura opened the door slowly. The boy was asleep; even unconscious, his expression was surly. She crept to the desk and began to open the  
drawers as silently as she could, while Julian stood at the door, looking around and lifting things slightly with his mind, also searching.

Laura sniffed and peered into the trash, saw a torn envelope. She kneeled down and gingerly extracted it, as well as the ball of paper it had contained,  
then gave Julian a thumbs-up signal.

James started in his sleep; they hurried out and closed the door behind them.


	35. 10: king for a day 5:7 bishop

**

* * *

  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "king for a day" 10 Issue: 5/7 )**

 **Chapter 115: bishop ******

**

* * *

  
**

"The fourth Keller ever to come to me," Kingmaker said, smiling at the younger brother of his indebted client. The one he'd already used as a bargaining chip in said transaction.

How very interesting.

"I'm surprised, James," Kingmaker said. "How could you not have what your heart desires? You're wealthy…you have family…"

"You know very well that I _don't_ have family," James said, wrinkling his slightly freckled nose. "I read Julian's letter. His contract, with you. In bold letters…his wish. He's no family  
of mine. He's dead to me."

"Ah," Kingmaker said. He could barely stop himself from smiling—this was too good to be true. Now he had a household divided—civil war amongst a very rich family that could  
mean nothing but profit for himself.

"If I may be so bold, I'm assuming you want to make a wish yourself," Kingmaker said, his tone reasonable. "Something to level the playing field, perhaps?"

James nodded. "I wish my parents were alive. I wish Julian off the face of this planet, along with his disgusting mutie kids."

Kingmaker raised his eyebrow. Interesting. The boy didn't know, then.

"What about the girl? Laura?"

James paused. "Nah, she can live," he said. He hesitated. "I wish she'd like me instead," he said, less certainly.

Kingmaker allowed himself to smile now. "Three wishes? Is that _all? _Sir, we have a deal…"

**…  
**

"Where the hell were you, snot-rag?" Julian asked, seeing his brother stomp up the stairs. "I called your cell. You need to start packing…we have to head home."

"This _is _my home," James said bitterly. "I'm staying."

"It'll be kinda awkward to have you camping out here when buyers are touring it," Julian said.

His brother froze.

"I'm selling it," Julian continued. "This place is nothing but bad vibes. Just coming back here gives me the creeps…puts me in a bad mood. Can't you feel it?"

James gripped the banister. "No," he said, gritting his teeth. "This is my _home._"

"No it's not," Julian insisted, folding his arms. "The _real _last home we had was that little shack in LA. It wasn't much to look at, but it was real. That was the last time any of us  
were happy, remember?"

"No," James said again, although he did remember.

"You'll like it better in NY," Julian added. "I can tell. It's your type of town. There's lots of kids at the school…I'm sure they'll let you go there…and the house is nice, it's _real. _We  
have a room for you."

"This is my home," James repeated.

"I'm giving you half of the money," Julian said, ignoring this comment. "But I want you to actually go to _school_ and find something you like doing. What mom did…it's not right. I was  
so much happier once I got away from them."

"Whatever." James continued to ascend the stairs.

"We know that you tried to call him," Julian said.

James paused. "Call who?"

"Kingmaker."

Silence.

"I don't know who the fuck you're talking about. Mom was right…you're screwed up, Julian." He turned his back on his brother who watched him keenly, then followed him up the  
stairs to his room. James slammed the door in his face, but a few moments later Julian knocked anyway.

"Go away!" James snapped.

"We need to talk!" Julian said, his voice muffled through the wood.

James opened the door a fraction of an inch. "I have absolutely _nothing_ to say to you. _You're_ the reason everything fell apart."

Silence. Julian watched his brother's grey eye uncertainly. Did he know? He had to know, if he'd read the letter. It was there, in bold letters, his wish. It could easily be misread, out-of-context.

"You're the reason Rachel is dead!" James added, furiously. "Because _you_ insisted on playing with your stupid powers! You should be locked up!"

"That never even _happened,_" Julian said, more confident (now that James had clarified what he was actually upset about). "You do know that mom was psychic, right?"

The eye widened. "…what?" James asked in a small voice.

Julian suddenly realized just why James was being so moody, so cold towards him, and realized he'd been a terrible brother. Aside from the obvious, this whole _new_ mess with Kingmaker.

"Uh…can I come in?" he asked.

James paused, then opened the door further. "Fine," he said resentfully.

…

For almost an hour, Julian tried to explain what had transpired in their family, starting with the origin of Elizabeth Keller—rather, Madelyne Pryor—up to the current moment. This included  
the memories of his older sister—which he avoided as much as possible normally—and the wish.

It was hard. Julian didn't like to talk about his teenaged years, years that James had spent clueless, with a biased, evil mother to tell him otherwise. Who had begun to turn her manipulative  
attentions to James when he had left.

After he'd finished, they sat in silence for a while, James playing with his shoelace with a sullen look. He had not looked surprised when Julian had reached the part about the wish, confirming  
that he had read the letter.

"I hate you," he mumbled finally. "You and your friends used to throw things at me."

Julian flushed. "Uh. I might not have been a very nice person, back when…all this was going on," he said, realizing it wasn't a very good explanation. "…I'm sorry?" he added lamely.

Pause. "Fine," James grumbled. "I still don't want to leave here."

"It'll be better, I promise," Julian said. He paused, too. "Jim…did you really not call that guy?"

"NO!" James said, angry again. Defensive. Because he _had_ done it. And now, there was probably a little bit of guilt over this action. Because he hadn't understood the context of his brother's wish.

Julian watched him carefully. "Okay," he said. "But that guy…he's bad news. You don't want to mess with him…trust me. It's like what they say, be careful what you wish for. It might come true."

The two brothers stared at each other for a moment, overwhelmed, then Julian got to his feet and left the room.

**…  
**

Laura looked out the window.

Julian was trying to convince Nate (in his kindest voice) that he'd seen enough Barney for the day. The boy was quite frantic that they watch a particular episode, until Julian suggested that  
they play with his Lego instead (the castle had, of course, accompanied them on the impromptu journey, and even in the enormous villa, Julian had, of course, managed to trip on it a total  
of three times, a fact that he found hard to understand).

Nate liked this idea, and soon the three (Rachel joined in immediately) were playing on the floor of the jet.

They were bound for home, finally. She was in a strange mood—she wanted to be on the floor, too, playing with the toddlers, but for some reason, she was too agitated. That reason was  
probably due to the fact that the hackles on the back of her neck were sticking up—because James was sitting behind her.

The boy made her feel uneasy, on all accounts. She had sensed he was going to cause them trouble. She wasn't sure if he was bad throughout, or if it was just teenaged ignorance, but she  
had felt that something was going on a bit deeper than at first glance. That he would do something, or perhaps he'd already done it.

Now there was proof. The Kingmaker's crumpled letter, with Julian's wish, and instructions, bore a letterhead—with a phone number. They had found the number on the list of numbers dialed  
from the boy's phone.

Julian had told her that James denied the accusation, when questioned. There was no doubt about his calling; however, they had no way of knowing what he had wished for. Julian had told  
her about a conversation he'd had with his brother, in which he'd explained the situation; and although James was slightly less surly, he still refused to admit the call.

His constant glances at her also creeped her out. It would be awkward to live in a small house with someone who was lusting over her, she speculated. She knew that it couldn't be  
avoided—Julian had no other options, at the moment.

It was his fault, of course. Despite this fact, Laura found it hard to be one hundred percent angry with him—he hadn't at all meant for this situation to happen. His wish had been to be  
reinstated with his family, to secure a future for the Shrimps; unfortunately, Kingmaker seemed to be a very literal man, and had enacted his wish to the letter. Although she was angry  
that he hadn't listened, it was hard for her to ignore the fact that it had been well-meant.

There was also the fact that they had decided what they would do regarding the Kingmaker; and a good possibility remained that they would still be able to find his parents—alive—and  
therefore get James off their hands; she would just have to be patient and as amiable as possible.

**…  
**

"Pull it while you unlock it," Laura reminded Julian as he struggled mentally with the front door of their small house (they very rarely locked it, as there was little chance of theft at the school).

James stared at the house dully, his hands curling into fists. This was a _dump._ He couldn't believe that Julian would let himself exist in such a small structure; and with such cheap furniture, he  
mused as the door opened to reveal the kitchen table and sofa.

"I bet all the food went off," Laura said, curling her nose as she entered.

"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" she began gagging almost instantly, bending over double as the pungent odor hit her nose.

James stared at her uncertainly (unable to smell anything amiss, other than what he considered the odor of poverty) but Julian sighed and headed for the fridge—as if he was used to this  
behavior—and opened it. Moments later he found a suspiciously open carton of milk; he opened it hesitantly and took a sniff.

"Gross," he said, turning to the sink and pouring it down the drain, watching the clumps as they gushed out. "I put it down to bad housekeeping. Sure you don't want a maid?"

"I think there's enough people in this house, thanks," Laura said, pinching her nose. "One more person and we'll need to expand."

"I could buy you a maid outfit, then," Julian teased.

James made a sound of disgust. "Can you _not?_"

"This must be what it's like to have teenagers," Laura mumbled, sitting down at a kitchen chair. "I want to strangle him already."

"Somebody show me where I'm staying!" the boy demanded.

"What, so you can slam the door in my face again?" Julian asked. This was the treatment he'd received several times back in California (James had still been angry about the decision to move him).

"I don't think he should _have_ a door," Laura said. "Make him earn it or something. Makes it so much simpler, and teach him some manners at the same time."

"Good thinking," Julian said, grinning.

James looked angry.

"Shut up! You're both retards!" he snapped. "Making me come to this little…hole in the ground! It's like a box, and it stinks in here!"

"You just lost five points towards your door," Laura said dryly. "Write it down, Keller…I'll go take the hinges off."

James got up, stomped to the front door, tore it open then slammed it shut behind him so hard a small painting of a tree on the wall tilted. They watched him as he raged off across  
the lawn towards the woods.

"Fuck, I liked having a front door," Laura said. "Now that's going to have to go, too. That _sucks." _

"Damn," Julian said, looking at the picture. "I only got it to tilt like an inch, remember? That's like…what…three inches there?"

"Let's measure it," Laura said, reaching into her pencil bag on the table and withdrawing the appropriate tools. "We can have a contest."

"I also broke three windows," Julian reminded her. "That's got to count for something."

"This is about picture-tilting, Keller. Windows aren't included!" she said as she held the ruler to the wall and made a pencil mark.

**…  
**

"Ms. Frost…this is my brother," Julian said, gesturing to James (who was standing with his arms folded and a very negative expression, although he _had_ paused for a moment when  
seeing Emma for the first time; this had cost the former money, as he'd bet Laura that nothing would make his brother stop scowling, even for a moment).

The said Laura was grinning at him, holding out her hand behind her back in a gesture that indicated he was to pay up.

"A pleasure to meet you, James," Emma said, leaning over the table slightly and extending her gloved hand. "I'm sure—"

"Don't read my mind!" James interrupted, angry. "My mom _told_ me about you! You play horrible mind games—I don't want you _anywhere _near my—"

"I kind of informed Ms. Frost that we were bringing you back with us," Julian said, putting his hand on his brother's shoulder.

"…" James glared at the headmistress. "_I_ don't want anything to do with this school. I hate muties. You people should burn in the ovens, along with—"

Emma raised her eyebrows. "My. You certainly sing a different tune than your sibling. Julian is quite involved with the mutant community."

"That's only because he _is_ one," James snapped. "You all think he'd give two shits about you if he was _normal?_"

"_I_ wouldn't give two shits about this place if _I_ was normal," Laura said. "I barely do, as is. My mother dragged me in here kicking and screaming."

"She kicked me, first," Julian added.

"Your ass makes an easy target, Keller, mostly because it's so—"

"ARRRGH!" James shoved Julian out of his way, ran to the door, and slammed it with a bang that echoed through the hallway.

Julian grimaced. "Er—"

"It's alright," Emma said, playing with a golden fountain-pen. "He is sixteen, and his parents have just passed away. His life has undergone an enormous change. He is bound to be  
emotional right now. It's better to let him communicate." Emma paused. "On that note, I might add…if there's anything _you_ might wish to speak with me about, Mr. Keller…I _am_ a  
qualified councilor."

"Actually, there is," he said, glancing at Laura. They'd agreed, that evening, that bringing this problem to Emma—one of the world's strongest psychics—was probably the best  
strategy they could employ.

This little problem of…

"You ever hear of a guy named the Kingmaker?" Julian asked.

…

"Wallace," Emma said thoughtfully as she leaned back in her chair. She'd gone through various stages of emotion in the past few minutes—anger, cold rage, then calm, and now  
cool and calculating. Considering the situation.

Her students sat at the desk, in front of her. Julian looked tired. Too tired—Emma noted bags under his eyes.

This was a very complicated situation.

"Who's Wallace?" Laura asked, her nose wrinkling. _Nerd,_ she was thinking loudly—projecting. Laura's _thoughts_ never entered Emma's psionic range, without her majorly  
invading the girl's mind. So far, she hadn't tried.

"Wallace is our dear Kingmaker," Emma said. "I do so remember him. Mainly because he made a pathetic attempt to infiltrate the Hellfire Club when I was the White Queen." She  
paused. "It was quite…memorable."

"HAHHAHA!" Laura threw back her head, laughing. "I can totally see that! He's such a _loser!" _

Julian glanced at her, annoyed.

"I am quite certain it is _still_ the Hellfire Club he's after," Emma said, leaning forward. "Julian…you are aware of your mother's involvement, correct?"

A pause.

"…what?" Julian asked, having been blissfully unaware.

Emma frowned. "No…I'd better not."

Laura raised her eyebrows. "Emma…I think we should know _everything _that's going on here. He's been left with this whole mess…it's kind of hard to deal with problems  
you didn't know existed."

"Kinda," Julian agreed.

Emma paused.

"Madelyne Pryor was the Hellfire Club's Red Queen," she said.

Silence.

"Aren't those kind of things inherited?" Laura asked, dimples forming.

Emma nodded briefly.

"HAHAHAHA! HAHAHA!" The girl almost tipped over her chair.

"HAHAHAHAHA…"

"I don't want to know," Julian said, but Laura coughed for air and finally managed to speak: "_Please tell me there's a costume!!" _

"Oh my _god_…shut up, Laura," Julian said, rubbing his forehead.

Emma allowed herself a small smile. "I hadn't thought of that, Mr. Keller. Indeed, you should be hearing from an associate any day now, if you haven't already.  
Many would kill for such a position."

"I _might_ have," Julian pointed out.

Emma pursed her lips. "Perhaps. If I know Wallace though…I'm almost certain that's not the case. He loves…nay, he _lives_ to play sides against each other. No doubt each of  
your parents is wishing against you at this moment. It would be typical of him to let your family finish itself, then move in on your inheritance, claiming your unpaid debt as  
his legal right to its entirety."

Julian grimaced. "Think he'd lay off for, like, a billion or two?"

"Possible, but doubtful," Emma said. "Wallace lives for power. Such a position would give him that power."

Julian hesitated. He'd been about to say he didn't care for the title.

"Think carefully, Julian," Emma said, serious now. "You have the qualities of a hero. Being a Hellfire Club member does not mean you must walk down the wrong path…but take  
it with a grain of salt. Do not forget who you are."

"You totally have to get a tiara," Laura added.

Julian rolled his eyes.

"You have three days to complete his request, correct?" Emma asked.

"One, now," Julian said.

"I see." Emma smiled. "That is plenty of time. Here is what we will do. You will complete his request—hear me out—so that we may find out his base of operations. I will come  
with you to turn in your 'payment' to him." Emma's smile grew. "I believe Wallace will be excited to see such a dear, old friend of his."

**…  
**

James sat on the edge of the planter box in the garden, his knees pulled up to his chest as he glared angrily at the stupid bush full of flowers in front of him. He wanted it all to _die,_  
this awful school full of filth. His skin was crawling, like it was full of thousands of little fireants.

He wanted to go home.

He'd been angry, like now, in the office upstairs (that was much shabbier than his father's), he'd said some things he didn't entirely mean, and then something had happened. He'd  
felt a completely foreign emotion. Affection. Which blatantly did _not_ fit with his mood. He'd been startled, and left immediately, blowing off steam by slamming a door in their faces.

It was disturbing.

He jumped off the planter box and ran towards the small house where he now resided, trying to think of something else.


	36. 10: king for a day 6:7 knight

**A/N: **I have entirely too much work -.-

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "king for a day" 10 Issue: 6/7 )**

 **Chapter 116: knight ******

* * *

They were sitting at the kitchen table, eating dinner; spaghetti and meatballs. Another chair had been added, for James, who was making faces at his plate and  
poking the meatballs with his fork, to be difficult (somewhat like Nate, who had a plateful of mashed food and likes to make shapes with it; but the boy did this  
out of playfulness and not sullenness).

"Yes, they're frozen and store-bought, so if you have complaints, I can give you a number to call," Laura said loudly, looking at James pointedly. "Otherwise, eat it."

"…" the boy raised his eyes. "Don't tell me what to do!"

"I won't if you do it without _needing _to be told," Laura said, wrinkling her nose.

"You're not my mom!" James hissed. "You're, like, three years older than me!"

"Technically, I _am_ your mom," Laura said snidely, then nodded to Julian, who was stuffing his mouth with noodles. "You can thank your brother here for that. He's  
just all kinds of awesome."

Julian realized they were both glaring at him; _slurp, _as he struggled to inhale his noodles. "Er," he said, his eyes wide.

James dropped his fork with a clatter, pushed his chair away, and ran to the door. _**SLAM! **_They watched the picture on the wall tilt, then Laura picked up the ruler  
and rushed to measure the distance.

"Half an inch," she announced, wrinkling her nose. "Damnit! I was sure I was going to get a full inch out of him that time."

"Sounds dirty," Julian said. "Seriously…you've got to stop provoking him. That's no fair…how am I supposed to compete?"

"I can make _you_ mad, too, if you want," Laura said, grinning as she returned to the table. "But in all reality, it won't work. You _know_ about the contest, and I can't  
trust that you won't try to tilt the picture on purpose."

Julian wrinkled his nose at her. "What time is it?"

"Almost time to go," Laura said, looking at the clock (visible from her position at the table, as it was above the fridge in the kitchen). "Look…I'm coming with you."

"No. I'll be fine." He finished a last forkful then pushed his plate away. "You need to watch the collection of babies that we've accumulated, through various circumstances."

"I'll get Logan to come play house-sitter," Laura said. "Maybe he can knock some sense into the newest brat."

"I don't want you to come!" Julian said, a bit louder. "You'd be in the way."

Laura snorted. "I'd like to see you say that again. With a straight face."

Julian frowned. "I'd…I'd worry, okay? I don't want you to get hurt."

"How do you think _I_ feel?" Laura asked. "It's much more likely that you're going to croak on a thing like this. Keller, I'm coming whether you like it or not, I've decided."

Julian made a face. "I'm flying. You can't fly."

"I'll jack an X-wing, I swear," Laura said. "And put it on autopilot. I could totally do it. I've been watching you…I know how. And those things have less security than your _car _."

Julian considered the fact that she _could_ back up this threat. "Kingmaker said not to let you know."

"So?"

"Oh, fine," Julian snapped, getting up and bringing his plate to the sink. "Just ignore how I feel then."

"I'll go get our 'fightin' dreads'," Laura grinned.

**…**

"Nice night for it," Laura commented, as she followed Julian up the dark path to the school. He was still zipping up his red jacket, his expression full of annoyance at  
her for insisting on accompanying him.

"It's _never_ a nice night for shit like this," he said.

"True," Laura said. She paused suddenly and turned around. "What the hell are you doing, James?"

Julian turned. "Huh?"

Laura pointed at a tree, slightly behind them. Julian lit his finger and held it up, illuminating the trees around; there was James, crouched on a low branch, watching them.

With a sweat jacket on, indicating he'd gone back to the house for it, preparing to go out.

James was silent, shocked at having been discovered. He'd been quite certain that he would be able to follow them, at leisure.

"I'm coming with you!" he blurted.

Julian sighed in exasperation. "Not _you,_ too! For fuck's sake! NO ONE is coming, alright?! End of story!"

"Whoa, whoa, Keller," Laura said. "I know _he's_ not coming, but I sure as hell am!"

"I _am_ coming!" James insisted.

"You'll get hurt," Julian said. "You're not coming. Laura, take him back to the house and _stay there._"

"I'm not your dog, I'm your wife," Laura snapped. "I will do no such thing."

"I have to come!" James said, louder. "I have to see the Kingmaker."

Silence.

"So you _did_ call him," Julian said.

James looked down. "Yes."

"Am I the only one here who wasn't dumb enough to fall for the stupid pyramid scheme?" Laura asked, her nose twitching.

"What did you wish for?" Julian asked, ignoring Laura.

"I don't want to tell you," James said, teetering. "It's bad."

"It can hardly be worse than mine," Julian pointed out.

"I have to see the Kingmaker," James repeated. "Please."

This was surprising; he'd never been polite before, in any sense of the word. Julian glanced at Laura uncertainly; she rolled her eyes and shrugged, indicating that  
she had no inclination towards the situation.

"_You_ stay in the jet," Julian hissed at his brother. "You don't even look out the window, got it?"

"Fine," James said.

**…**

"Can you really _fly_ this thing?" James asked, staring at the X-wing with wide eyes. Suddenly, some of the things Julian had said (with enthusiasm) about this school made sense.

"Yes," his brother said, crouching as he entered the cockpit, followed by Laura.

"I don't know if _fly_ is the right word for it," Laura said snidely. "It's more of a pogo stick method. Just how many times have you crashed this thing now?"

"A few times," Julian said, annoyed. "In simulations. Jesus, Laura, Frost wouldn't have permitted me usage if she though I'd _crash _it."

James hesitated, then followed them in and sat down in the seat behind Julian, his eyes flitting around at the technology. He was a bit of a nerd, and he'd always  
considered that his older brother was more of a social butterfly, so it was surprising to him to see the kind of activities Julian was involved in.

He looked out the window as the X-wing began to move, a few minutes later, and thought on what he would say when he saw Kingmaker again.

**…**

"There we go," Julian said. James's seatbelt had glowed green for a moment; he tried to remove it, and found he couldn't.

"HEY!" he said angrily.

"Just making sure," Julian said. "We'll be back. I guess I could ask you to keep an eye on the jet for me."

"Fuck you." James folded his arms.

"If it weren't for her claws, I'd do the same thing to Laura," Julian said, giving her an annoyed look. "She'd just cut it though."

Laura grinned at him and stepped out of the jet. They closed the door, and James fished in his pockets for his Swiss Army knife.

**…**

"You're kidding me."

Laura was looking down at the manhole cover as she spoke.

"Go wait in the jet," Julian pointed out, also looking down at the cover. What he needed to steal—a box—was apparently hidden down there, in the sewage. He'd been  
chosen to retrieve it, because of his 'wonderful abilities', or so Kingmaker's letter informed him in a flattering manner.

"Fuck that. I thought I was done with sewers," Laura said distastefully. "In fact, I _swore_ I was done with sewers. After the last time. With Quire."

"Yeah, well, apparently not," Julian said, flinging the cover off with his mind. "You could stay up _here_ and make sure no one steps into the hole. That'd be damn useful."

"Shut up, Keller," Laura said as he descended into the manhole.

Once they had reached the ground (Laura squealing over how slimy the floor was and earning a snide remark from Julian), they made their way down the tunnel, observing  
the dripping walls by his finger-light and searching for a fork. They found it, took several more branches, and were approaching another main passage when Laura cleared  
her throat.

"How are we going to find our way back?" she asked.

"You can just scent-track us," Julian answered. He paused. "…right?"

Laura paused too. "…not really," she said.

Julian stared at her. "Why the hell didn't you mention that earlier?"

"I thought you had it all figured out," Laura said defensively, folding her arms. They both looked back the way they had come, a dark—and now strangely ominous—passageway.

"This is just how I always wanted to die. _Trapped in a sewer,_" Julian hissed. "If I had _known_ you couldn't smell anything down here, I would've been marking shit with chalk! Jesus!"

"Oh, I can _smell_ down here," Laura said. "But all I smell is shit. Literally!"

Julian rubbed his forehead. "Well, nothing we can do now," he said, his voice full of irritation. "Let's just get what we came here for and do whatever to get out. There has to be  
another manhole somewhere, if we can't find the original one."

"Hehe…you said _man hole,_" Laura said, amused.

"So did you," Julian said, rolling his eyes. He led them into an enormous, dimly-chamber full of churning machines and green, slimy sewage, and stared at the basin.

"That's so disgusting," he said, his face twisted in revulsion.

"If it helps, I'm sure part of this is _ours,_" Laura said, always to be depended on to make a vulgar suggestion. "At least half, maybe more…I'm counting in that time we got  
alcohol poisoning from the—"

"Just shut the fuck up, seriously," Julian said. "I'll throw up if I think about that right now." His eyes glowed as he considered how he was going to sift through  
the guck to find the box.

"HAHAHAHAH!" Laura suddenly staggered sideways in laughter, acting somewhat like an animal that had been shot. "HAHAHAHAHAHA! AHHAH!"

Julian waited, patiently, and watched as she almost stepped into the sewage (he began to enjoy the scene at this point, grinning slightly as he watched Laura fight not to be  
consumed by the mess; he finally gave her a gentle nudge backwards to save her from falling). "What's so funny?" he asked.

"…_the slime is the same color than your powers!_" Laura squealed, holding her ribs as she struggled to breathe.

"I should have pushed you in," Julian said, making a rude hand gesture in her direction. "Now shut up and let me concentrate, or I _will_ push you in." He stared at the slime for a  
few minutes, wondering how to approach it.

"Pretend you're Moses?" Laura suggested. "Reach out and divide the waters, my child. Then be fruitful and multiply. Like fruit flies."

"What did I say about being quiet?" Julian snapped, then he considered her idea.

"I'll just lift the shit," he reasoned.

"Are you sure?" Laura glanced at the basin, then him. "That's _a lot_ of shit."

"I can do it." He braced himself near the edge, turned his hand over so it was palm side up, then raised it slowly.

"I don't see anything," Laura said, wrinkling her nose and peering at the sewage. "Are you sure you, uh, turned your brain-thing on? Wait—no, that was just a turd in the  
current—AHHHH!" She leapt back as the surface of the sea of sewage began to pop and bubble, like it was boiling. Julian's eyes were quite bright by now; suddenly there  
was a loud ripping, slurping noise, and the entire pool rose into the air, leaving an empty stone basin.

"Uh…ah-heh," Laura said uncertainly. "That's a neat party trick there, Keller!"

"SHUT UP AND LOOK FOR THE BOX!" Julian shouted, his face red.

Laura peered over the edge of the basin again. "I don't see anything. Must be the wrong pool. Oh—wait—" she spotted a slightly darker spot, about forty feet across, and  
twenty feet down, on the bottom of the empty pool. "Maybe that?"

"GO GET IT," Julian ground out.

"No way! I am _not_ getting in that shit, na-uh. Not if you paid me a billion dollars."

"ERK—" Suddenly Julian grabbed her and slammed them against the ground as his hold on the fluid slipped. A wave of green was rushing towards them; Laura wanted to  
scream, but she realized that would require opening her mouth.

_**FWWASHH!**_

Laura gasped, then sat up, realizing she was still dry. And floating a few feet in the air. Julian was concentrating very hard on keeping them enclosed in a bubble of thought.

"That would've _sucked,_" he said, pale.

"No kidding," Laura said, shaken. She looked down at the slime-covered floor and shuddered, then noticed Julian had some green on his face.

"EWWWWWWWWWWWWW Keller it got you!" she squealed, scrambling to the edge of the bubble.

"Wha—" Julian reached up and wiped his chin self-consciously. "Oh. Shit. Literally, I guess."

"No shit, Sherlock," Laura added, grinning. "How the eff did it get by your shield, though? I'm completely dry."

"Do you really want to stop and ponder this subject?" Julian asked, looking at the still-bubbling pool of slime. "Personally, I'm all for getting the box and getting out of here as  
fast as possible, but I know you have different tastes than me sometimes."

"In case I haven't made it obvious…hurry," Laura said, wrinkling her nose.

Julian brought them down to the surface of the slime, at approximately the area Laura had seen the grey object. "I have an idea. We'll go in, and I'll grab the box. I have to—"

"ARE YOU INSANE?!" Laura squealed. "That is SEWAGE! LET ME OUT OF THIS THING!"

"For the love of god, I won't let any in."

"I don't trust you, Keller!"

"I kept you dry there, didn't I?" he pointed out.

Laura considered this. Then considered the fact that they might be here all night arguing, otherwise. "Fine. But if I get turds in my hair, I am going to drown you."

"Yeah, yeah." Julian lowered them into the muck, which parted as the bubble slipped in. "Keep your eyes peeled. Eww, it looks weird down here, doesn't it?"

"I don't really _want_ to look," Laura mumbled. She looked down at the floor anyways, as they neared the bottom. "There it is!" she said.

Julian scraped it into the bubble, then brought them up quickly, not wanting to let Laura know how weak he was feeling (after lifting the enormous mass earlier). He managed to  
float them over to the edge of the basin when he gave in and fell to his knees on the concrete.

"You okay?" Laura asked, frowning. The box clattered to the ground.

"Gimme a sec," Julian groaned. He coughed, hard, with a sound of phlegm, and wiped his mouth again, even though it was dry. Laura moved to him and put her hand on his  
shoulder, worried; he straightened and looked at the box.

"Well…there we go. Let's…get out of here."

"Ah-heh, no kidding," Laura said, helping him to his feet.

**…**

Despite their fear that they would not be able to find their way back, Laura managed to navigate them back towards the manhole they had entered through. However,  
as began to head up the corridor that lead to the room, the hackles on the back of her neck rose. Something wasn't right. She put her hand on Julian's shoulder and  
pulled him back, shaking her head and signaling that he should be quiet, absolutely quiet.

Julian looked at her apprehensively. He was in no condition for a fight, and if he was reading Laura's expression correctly, that's what awaited him in the next room.

They backtracked the way they had come, creeping along, barely breathing even though they couldn't be heard in the first place. Reentering the large room, Julian finally  
had to cough again, unable to hold it longer.

"What was that about?" he whispered.

"Two mutants waiting for us," Laura murmured. "We've fought one of them before. In scenarios, I mean. Mastermind …and another female. They were talking about how to  
kill you. They think you're alone."

Julian paled. "Shit."

"We'll just have to go out another way," Laura said. "It's no big. They can't get near us, I'll totally know if they—"

"Is that so, clone?"

Julian whirled around.

That crazy woman from the facility. Kimura. With a big, unbalanced smile. "Hi. I'm going to pop your neck, and pick you apart bone-by-bone, and then I'll find that clone of yours…"

Laura was silent, watching as he stared at the empty corridor, his eyes shifting back and forth. She sniffed the air, almost imperceptibly, then reached out and gripped Julian's  
forearm. "Nothing's there. It's Mastermind. Fuck, she's found you."

Julian stared at the corridor. It was now empty.

"You know, you're kind of cute when you're scared," Mastermind said, suddenly beside them. "Why don't you come out and play with us?"

"No!" Julian said.

"…" Laura stared at the newest area and waved her hand through it. "This is weird, just observing you get tricked," she murmured.

Julian closed his eyes. "Keep your eye on me, please. We have to get out of here. I'm trying to call Frost mentally, but I can't reach her."

"Oh." Laura wrinkled her nose. "Hang on…er, how do you 'call' her?"

"Think really hard about the X-symbol," Julian said. "Or, uh, doorbells. "

Laura stared at him.

"She's a bit weird," Julian added.

As they crept along the corridor, in the opposite direction of their would-be opponents, Laura concentrated, very hard, on the X symbol, willing Emma to 'pick up'. She'd never  
spoken to the headmistress mentally; she wished she would have known about this when they'd been abducted the first time.

No one answered.

They had just turned right when Laura held her arm across Julian's stomach, stopping him in place. He peered into the darkness, unable to see anything.

Suddenly…

"You are not alone," a woman's voice hissed, dry like reeds. _Click, click. _"Is that Logan with you, child?"

Laura remained silent, rigid, willing him to be perfectly still as well. Neither dared to breathe. Maybe the woman would think she was mistaken and—

Julian stumbled backwards as Laura shoved him, just in time to escape the blur of darkness that rushed at them. "Stay back!" Laura ordered, dropping into a crouch  
despite the fact that the floor was slimy.

A low laugh. "A child? You brought a _child_ to protect you? You must have known this was a bid for your termination. I am surprised, however, that you have chosen  
your defense so poorly."

Julian remained silent. Laura watched the woman in the darkness, her eyes able to make out her form quite clearly. She was thin, with long, metal fingers—blades—and  
scraggly hair. She had scars all over her face; however, they were not in a random pattern. They were intricately carved, in a ritualistic matter.

"I can see you, you know," the woman said, her voice a moan. "Your very body heat speaks to me, calls out. Asks me to cut you."

She looked at Julian. "You are the boy I am supposed to kill, yesss. I think he is mistaken…you are unworthy. Without honor. I will enjoy killing you. Ladies first, though, yes."

She drew back one arm and the blades slid out further. Then she pounced for Laura.

_Snkkt!_

"Oh!" the woman exclaimed. There was a splash, a liquidy struggle, then a sound, several metallic scrapes. Julian looked at the ceiling of the tunnel, a few feet above  
them—something had crawled up the side. He wasn't feeling too good. He leaned heavily against the wall.

"Where did—" the woman's voice.

_THUNK! _A loud fleshy noise, several feet away. "_**AHHHH!**_" the woman screamed, a noise that became gurgly towards the end. Sounds of struggling, then splashing, more  
gurgling, and then a _plop. _

"_She_ won't be getting up for a while," Laura announced, matter-of-factly.

Julian started to light his finger, but she grabbed his wrist. "We've got to keep moving," she said. He hesitated, then followed her as she pulled him along, sensing that she  
did not want him to see whatever she had done.

**…**

"This is going nowhere," Julian groaned. They were still in the sewers, and Mastermind was now aware of Laura as well, as she had projected several mass  
illusions that made them think they had found the way out, as well as other scenarios, that were becoming more and more convincing each time. The effects on Laura  
were much milder, for some reason; perhaps her psionic shielding rendered her resistant to most forms of tampering.

Or so she thought.

"Well, what else are we _going_ to do?" Laura asked, in a tired voice. "We can't just give up. We'll sit here till we die."

"She could do that, you know," Julian said, worried. "Make us think we'd found the way out…let us keep thinking that…we could sit here forever. She's done that to people before…"

"Shut up, Keller," Laura said, reaching for his hand and taking it firmly. "Maybe light us up a bit."

Julian let some energy flow into his fingers and started—he saw Laura as a skeleton, a skull grinning at him. "What's the matter?" it asked him.

"AHHH!" he said, springing away in alarm.

"Keller!" Laura slapped his cheek; the pain brought him around, and he could see her face again, her concerned eyes sparkling in his green light. "Don't believe _anything_ you see!" she said.

"Good strategy," a woman said in Julian's ear. "Although, it'd be so easy, wouldn't it? Just believe you're safe….happy…elsewhere…come to me. I'll take care of you, I can show  
you the way out…" the voice paused. "I have you brother, you know…he's such a pussy, wimped out at the pain…"

"NO!" Julian said, whirling around to face the blackness.

"Nothing there. Focus, Keller—" Laura said.

"She has Jim," he said, his face set.

"She's bluffing," Laura said reasonably, her hands on her hips. "Julian, you're doing exactly what she wants you to. You're giving _in_."

He noted the use of his first name. "Laura…I have this feeling. I know him. He loves to poke his nose in shit—that's why I locked him in the plane—I just knew he'd try to follow us…"

**…**

James knelt at the manhole, staring into the darkness. A revolting smell rose up, and he wondered if he'd _really_ seen them enter. Maybe. He knew that Kingmaker wouldn't  
be down here; but he was curious. What the heck were they doing?

He took a step onto the ladder, grimacing at the small _squeak_ it made and trying not to think _why_ it was squeaking.

It was even worse inside the sewer. He made a face and shifted, his sneakers now making _squishing_ noises on the concrete. It was very dark. He began to rethink his decision,  
as he stared into the darkness; he'd been afraid of the dark, as a child.

Something bristled in the dark, ahead. He could feel it—a weird energetic feeling, a cat noting prey. He looked up at the small circle of light and watched as it closed overhead,  
washing him in darkness.

"Mmmm," he said, feeling a wave of panic.

"Awwww, are you afraid of the dark?" A female voice asked. It was low and seductive, soothing; he turned his head slightly. Despite its calming qualities, this voice coming from  
the darkness just scared him witless, and he ran in the opposite direction, praying desperately to find the others.

**...**

"That's just great," Laura said flatly. "I'm really excited for you. Why don't you just stay here and think about everything that could go wrong while I claw my way to  
safety. I'll totally come back for you, too, pinky-swear!"

"Shut up," Julian said. "I'm serious. We can't leave him down here!"

"My point being that he may not be down here _at all,_" Laura said. "Why don't we get to the freaking jet and check first? He might still be sitting there."

"You'll make me take off without him!" Julian snapped, somewhat hysterically.

"…" Laura slapped him in the face several times (with a paddling effect). "First off…if that was really _you_ saying that, you'd deny quite viciously that I could _make_ you  
do anything," she pointed out. "Then there's the fact that I'm not a cold-hearted _monster,_ thank you very much."

"Sorry," Julian mumbled, rubbing his cheek. "God damn it…she keeps slipping these things in like land mines. I'll be thinking something and suddenly it blows  
out of proportion."

"It's fine," Laura said tartly. "I've had a hankering to slap you lately but haven't really had the excuse." She took his hand again and started down a new  
tunnel, her eyes noting a few features to use as landmarks should they come this way again.

"…AHHHHH!" A scream down the passageway.

"You heard that, right?" Julian demanded.

"Yes." Laura looked ahead; footsteps, approaching. Fast. Splashing. Someone running _in_ the knee-deep sewage—James, looking terrified.

"Jim!" Julian said, lighting his hand and grabbing the boy's arm as he tried to run by them. "Stop it! It's not real."

"SNAKES!" James said in a high-pitched voice. "The whole ROOM is full of SNAKES!"

"There are no reptiles here," Laura said in a stern voice. "It's too dark. Calm down and think."

James struggled to comprehend this.

"Well, since he found us, we can just get the fuck out of here, right?" Laura said, somewhat relieved. "Keep hold of him and—"

_Or was I just herding you together? _The woman said in their minds.

**…**

Martinique Jason leaned back on the cobblestone of the sewer arch, studying her nails in the light provided by the cigarette lighter in her other  
hand. This was taking longer than planned—her orders had been to find Hellion, distract him, and keep him distracted while Lady Deathstrike  
slaughtered him like a sacrificial lamb.

Boss-lady had willed it so. She said she owed a man, the Kingmaker, and that this _boy_ owed him as well. Therefore Martinique was standing in a smelly  
sewer, playing sick mind games with two kids. Three, now, since the target's brother had joined.

And for whatever reason, Deathstrike wasn't answering her mental pages.

Martinique sighed and entered into yet another creation where the kids escaped successfully. She decided to add some variety into the mix—monsters  
in the sewage. She checked her watch, noted that she'd been here for three hours now.

Deathstrike was definitely not performing.

Martinique rolled her eyes, pushed away from the wall and made her way down the passageway. She'd have to take care of things herself, it seemed.

Business as usual.

**…**

"Okay…there's _no_ fucking way that was a T-Rex. We're in the sewers." Laura panted, a few minutes later, leaning against the wall and holding her  
ribs. They'd run very fast, quite suddenly, in terror. "Keller, make him quiet, or _I _will."

James was swearing loudly and brushing at his arms, obviously still wrapped in an illusion of some kind.

"What the hell can _I_ do?" Julian asked. "I was right. I should never have let either of you come with me."

"Don't be ridiculous," Laura said, more confidently. "We'll get out. They're only illusions, after all. Emma will find us. Or the Cuckoos."

"Is that so?" A woman's voice. The three turned and studied her warily, each believing her to be another illusion. She very well could be.

"Oh, no, I'm the real deal," she said, in answer to their thoughts. "Too bad you all have to die. You seem like a fun crowd." She pointed her finger at  
Julian; his face contorted in pain.

_Snnkt. _Laura's claws shot out and she ran at the woman, who disappeared as soon as she reached her.

"I lied," the woman said from the doorway. "But he really _is_ dying. Notice anything?"

Two heartbeats. Laura whirled around, and realized she couldn't hear Julian's heart anymore, because it had stopped. He was sliding down the wall, his  
eyes shut and his face slowly turning blue.

She ran to his side, retracting her claws and balling her fists.

"Don't bother with CPR," the woman said, her image placing its hands on its hips. "I've just mentally jammed up the connection between his heart and his  
brain. Rather easy to do. You kids are stupid, coming to a place like this, all alone, you know."

"HELP ME!" Laura snapped at James, who was watching, his eyes wide.

"How?" he asked. "I'm not a mutant!"

"Make sure he's breathing!"

"_Gross,_" James said. "I'm not _touching_—"

"Yes, you damn well are! DO IT, or I will cut off your—" Laura grabbed him by the wrist as he tried to back away, and James made a face. "_Urrrk!_" he said,  
yanking his arm out of reach.

There was a strange pulse in the air, and Laura could suddenly hear her own heart pounding hard in her ears. She felt hysterical panic grip her so hard she  
had difficulty breathing; she drew away.

Julian suddenly gasped for air and his heart started pounding again, quite fast as it struggled to make up for the moments it had missed. Laura looked  
at him in confusion, then up at James, suddenly making a connection.

"Don't stop," she ordered the boy, who looked very confused. "Whatever you're doing, it's working."

"It's not me!" James protested, but he sounded afraid.

Laura stood, her teeth gritted, and headed into the darkness, nostrils flared. _Snff, snff, _she inhaled only through her nose. _There, _huddled against a wall,  
cradling her head in her hands, between her knees.

"I'm afraid," the woman said in a small voice. Without looking up.

"Good," Laura hissed.

_Snkkt. _

**…**

"_**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—**_"

Julian scrambled to his feet as he heard a long, loud scream that cut off in the middle. "Which way did she go?" he demanded of his brother.

"Hell if I know!" James snapped. "She accused me of—"

Julian turned and took off in the direction he thought he'd heard the noise coming from, lighting the way with his finger. He heard a heavy _splash _in the distance, and  
knew he was headed in the right direction; he was still startled, however, when he rounded a corner and almost bumped into Laura, wiping off her face with the back of her hand.

She was somewhat covered in dark fluid.

"Laura?" he asked uncertainly.

"Don't go back there," she said.

"What did you do?"

"What needed to be done," Laura answered quietly. She could hear his brother panting as he jogged towards them (he was somewhat out of shape).

Julian studied her, then nodded curtly. He was, again, brought back to the moment in the lab, when he'd taken matters into his own hands. Thinking of hands, he quickly  
stopped feeding energy to his finger, shrouding them in darkness just as James rounded the corner.

"_Hey!_ Why'd you leave me?"

"We're going now," Julian said firmly. "Keep up."

"Do you have the box?" Laura asked suddenly.

**…**

Twenty minutes later, Julian finally replaced the cover on the manhole and looked at Laura. It was dark out, but now he could see her silhouette in the dim  
light of a street lamp. She looked tired, and there were big splashes of blood across her face and one arm, very dark on her almost white skin.

"Oh my god," James said, seeing the same thing.

"I have a healing factor, so there's no need to be a pussy about it. It's only blood," Laura said flatly.

"I HATE BLOOD!" James burst.

"Calm down," Laura ordered. "_You've _got to be careful, now…emotions are linked to mutations, you know."

"Huh?" Julian asked.

"I am _not_ a—" James protested.

"How do you think we got away?" Laura said. "She was _killing _you, Keller. And she just stops? Think about it. It wasn't you, and it certainly wasn't me."

"Huh," Julian said again, eyeing his brother.

"It wasn't me," James said firmly. "It was someone else. I'm human."

"It would make sense…mom was a pretty big honking mutant, you know," Julian said thoughtfully. "But what the hell? You're sixteen…you should have been  
doing this when you were, like, thirteen."

"Shut up!" James snapped.

"Denial's not just a river in Egypt," Laura said snidely. "But whatever, let him stew in his own juices. He'll figure it out. Now…really important…where's the effing jet? I want  
to go home and exfoliate like crazy, with oven cleaner. I have no idea what disgusting life forms I touched tonight."

They began to walk towards where they'd left the X-wing, James silent, everyone limping slightly from both exhaustion and injuries.

"I'm having one of those clarity moments," Julian said, putting his hand on her back lightly. "The ones you like to have, where you laugh your ass off. Mine's a bit scary, though."

"What's that?" Laura asked.

"I just realized I literally married the monster that came from the sewers." he said. "OW! LAURA—" he withdrew his hand and rubbed his stomach.


	37. 10: king for a day 7:7 checkmate

**

* * *

  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "king for a day" 10 Issue: 7/7 )**

 **Chapter 117: checkmate ****  


* * *

**

Wallace looked up from his desk, startled. He'd been alone in his room, and now suddenly he wasn't. There was that boy—both boys, actually, of whom he'd made deals with—and that _girl_.

Security hadn't informed him. He would have to fire the guard.

"Took you long enough," he said, his lip curled. In fact, he was dismayed to see that his assassins had failed, miserably. The older boy shouldn't be here, only the younger one. With  
that act he would have tied up three transactions.

"We have your box," the older Keller boy said, looking grumpy as he held up a cash box. "It was a bitch to get."

Wallace sneered openly. "I'm impressed," he said, though he didn't bother to add whether it was favorably so or not. "Bring it here. I'll have a look, to make sure it's all there, then," he said.

The older boy approached the luxurious oak desk and let it drop on the desk with a _bang!_ "This better be worth it," he said.

Wallace leaned forwards, opened his drawer, and withdrew a key. With the other hand he reached silently under the desk and withdrew a pistol, loaded with extremely expensive  
vibranium bullets—from a built-in holder. The desk had a backing so no one could see what he was doing.

"I assure you, it is," Wallace said, laying the gun on his knee carefully, then reaching up and unlocking the box (trying not to wince in distaste; he knew where this object had _been_). The hinges  
creaked, even though it was fairly new, having been placed there last week for this 'mission'.

The Keller boy leaned forward and stared at the contents of the box. It had a foam filling, with an indent in the center. And in that indent was a round piece of glass, with a colored swirl in the middle.

A marble.

Wallace held up the gun and pointed it at the boy's head. "I have clients, and wishes to fulfill. I'm sure you'll understand." His finger moved to squeeze the trigger.

"No, I don't believe I will," said a different voice.

Wallace froze, his eyes wide behind his sunglasses. He knew that voice. He no longer wondered how they had gotten by security.

He wasn't pointing the gun at the Keller boy at all. The children were standing by the door, watching, their arms folded. His gun was pointed at the forehead of Emma Frost, who was  
watching him with humored eyes.

"Hello, Wallace," Emma cooed. "It's been ages!"

Wallace stared, lowered his gun slowly. This wasn't good, wasn't good at all. He'd never expected the children to bring their teacher—the White Queen of the Hellfire Club—into this  
equation. She could turn him into a quivering mess before he could pull the trigger.

Maybe she already had, and he was in a hospital ward, telling people funny stories and unrelated facts in an earnest tone.

Wallace hated telepaths. Where was Martinique when he could use her?

"You dispatched her to 'deal' with my student," Emma reminded him helpfully.

Oh, yes. Wallace put the gun down on the table. "What do you want, Emma?" he asked, his voice small. There was no way he could combat her.

"You will release these two fine young gentlemen from their contracts," Emma said calmly, not missing a beat. "You will never darken the doors of my school, or of my students again. Not  
a single hair on their heads shall be harmed." Now her eyes were not playful. "Is that clear?"

"Crystal," Wallace said.

"You will also produce Madelyne Pryor and William Keller from wherever you've hidden them," Emma continued.

Wallace paused. "I can't."

Julian let out a breath in the background.

Emma held up her hand. "Explain."

"Madelyne doesn't _want_ to be found," Wallace said. "She…she's finished with that life, she said. She wanted a change of pace."

"And William Keller?" Emma asked.

"He is dead," Wallace said. "He was killed several months ago, in a car accident, much as described. Madelyne survived."

"What?" Julian asked.

"But I saw them in the hospital," James said, confused.

"Madelyne's a very gifted telepath," Wallace said. "Now…are you going to keep threatening me all day, Emma? Or can I get back to my work?"

"Remember what was discussed," Emma said. "Or I'll make you forget everything else." She smiled at him, tapped her temple, and she and the children were gone. Wallace  
stared at his gun and the box on the table.

_He's not going to be happy, _he thought grimly.

**…  
**

"Come on, Keller," Laura said. They were sitting on a bench in the park, with ice cream cones; Julian hadn't had any of his, and it was beginning to melt onto  
his fingers. He'd been hopeful that his parents were both still alive.

He watched the cone gloomily.

"She didn't even let me know," he said.

"There's nothing you could have done," Laura said. "Keller…in her own way, she tried to make sure you'd be happy…I mean, she gave you _everything_, right? And she left you  
James…it's not like you would have had _time_ with your father. He died on impact."

Emma had done some memory-searching at the hospital, through Cerebra, and had discovered Madelyne's artful memory alterations on the staff.

"I guess." Julian continued to watch the cone gloomily.

Laura laid her head on his shoulder and watched the cone with him, knowing he would be miserable for a while, and then move on. The only positive thing that had come out of  
their confrontation with Kingmaker was that Julian no longer had a reason to blame himself for his parents' death.


	38. 11: back to abnormal 1:6 clarity

**A/N: **Dubble update! WOOHOO!

* * *

**  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "back to abnormal" 11 Issue: 1/6 )**

 **Chapter 118: clarity ******

* * *

"I think we should get a house cleaner," Julian grumbled, elbow-deep in dishwater. He'd just found a slimy, wiggly thing beneath the bubbles (horrors!) and had  
pulled it out to reveal a gummy worm that had somehow been discarded along with the dishes. Laura had laughed at him for the revolted noise he'd made (it _had,_  
admittedly, been a bit high-pitched), but she hadn't teased him too much about it. After the sewers, neither found they could blame the other for being overly  
sensitive to slimy, wiggly things.

"This isn't something _I_ should be doing, y' know?" he said, annoyed. "I have a lot going on just now…still dealing with the…the whole thing…and I've got school…and  
the team…and, oh yeah…a couple _billion_ dollars, a company to manage, with paperwork and _taxes_ like you have no idea…"

Laura grinned at him, leaning across the counter and watching him work as she drank cola through a straw. "Keller…if you got someone else to do your chores, then  
I'd feel obligated to bang them. I mean, it'd be kind of unfair to expect them to do your work without your benefits, no?"

Julian glared at her.

"Wash this too," Laura said, tossing in the now-empty glass. "Oh, and it's your turn with the laundry tonight. I've got a lab report, and then a play date with two  
neglected Shrimps."

**…**

"It's not true. _Tell me_ it isn't true!" Nori beseeched Laura.

"It's true," Laura sighed, shifting her backpack on her shoulder as they headed towards their French class, the other girls from the Squad shortly behind.

"God DAMN it! He's going to turn into a bloated, egotistical _jerk_ all over again! Teaming with him will be hell, literally!" Nori was furious. "Why would someone like _him_ get  
money like that, and not someone who really deserved it?!"

"Like yourself?" Laura asked calmly.

Nori paused. "No. Like a hungry person. Or a lot of hungry people. It just seems unfair that Keller is _that rich _while the masses suffer, y' know?"

"I thought this was about how he's going to be egotistical again," Laura said.

Nori glared at her. "It is!"

"Seriously…I don't think it's gone to his head," Laura said, wrinkling her nose. "We're not changing anything…actually, we haven't spent any money except to pay that  
fricken bill that went to the collection agency. Turns out it was some stupid department store card we used early on and forgot about."

"Really?" Nori seemed skeptical.

"Do I _look_ like I'm covered in diamonds, asshole?" Laura asked. "I'm still wearing makeup I got on-sale at Walgreens because it was expired."

Nori looked uneasy, unwilling to accept, as if there _was_ something for her to accept, to agree with. "Well…okay…but if I see even _one_ indication of it going to his head…" she said.

"Then I'd strongly recommend a peace riot demanding Keller to leave the school. With passive resistance and everything. We can have it on the lawn. I'll make the  
signs," Laura said. "You'd probably get half the school to turn out, if not more."

"Heh," Nori said, amused. "I could see that."

James rushed past them with his usual surly expression, shoving people out of his way. "Move," he hissed as he came to the two girls; Nori folded her arms and he shoved  
her out of his way, then quickly disappeared into the crowd.

"What the—who does _he_ think he is?!" Nori asked.

Laura grimaced. "Um, Keller's brother," she said distastefully.

"…" Nori looked horrified. "There are _more_ of him? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"He's living with us now," Laura said in a sour tone. "I don't like him very much. In fact, I've considering pouring draino into his cereal, but Keller would throw a fit."

"He's _living_ with you?! Jesus, Laura!" Nori looked upset.

"Not like we really have another option," Laura said. "He's an orphan…and look at him. He obviously needs therapy. If you'd have met Keller's mother…you'd understand  
why both of them treat everyone else like fungi."

"Even though it's really the other way around," Nori mumbled seriously. "Personally, I think Keller's worse than toilet mold. I still don't understand how you could let  
yourself sink to that level. He's such a worthless—"

Laura did something that surprised herself, and the people standing around her.

"Take that back," she snapped, stopping in her tracks.

Nori suddenly didn't know what to say, as her friend had always accepted her anti-Keller comments in the past, if not downright agreed with them. She'd only heard  
Laura defend him once—the first time she'd admitted to the rumors.

"Well—" Nori blurted. Sofia caught her eye (having just reached them) with a somewhat strained expression. She must have heard.

Laura brushed past her, into the classroom, and took a different seat than usual.

Sofia and Nori exchanged glances.

**…**

"SHUT UP!!!!" James roared, throwing his book at Julian. "I TOLD YOU, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, YOU DUMB—"

"Look, it can either get better or worse!" Julian said, stopping the book in mid path and sending it back to its originator. "This isn't just going to go away! You should  
take the tests. They won't hurt, and you'll know for _sure_ that way."

"I am _not_ a mutant," James reaffirmed, his teeth gritted. "You two are totally freakin' crazy. Mom was _right._"

"Jesus, not this again," Julian said, exasperated. "It's just a blood test and—"

"I HATE BLOOD TESTS!" James snapped. "I can't stand the sight of blood! Or needles! You know this!"

Julian did, indeed, know this. Their father, in the poorer days, had taken them to the doctor at the same time, and he had often had to help restrain the boy for vaccinations.

"You're afraid of your own _shadow,_" Julian shot.

"Fuck off," James said.

"Come on. We're going to see Dr. McCoy right now. He's waiting in the lab," Julian said firmly.

"I'm reading. I'm not going."

"You can come willingly, or I can carry you," Julian said, folding his arms. "You have ten seconds to pick."

James stared at his brother. "You wouldn't—"

"I will. Eight seconds."

"You said you wouldn't do stuff like that anymore!"

"I lied. Five seconds."

"I'LL TELL _HER!_" James said, more desperately. _Her _had replaced the word _mom,_ and now meant Laura, who James was beginning to inform of all of Julian's misdeeds (both to  
gain favor with the former and also to see the latter get in trouble).

"Actually, I fully endorse this decision," Laura said, peering around the doorframe. "Go ahead, Keller. Do that thing where you make him travel at like 300 meters a second."

"Two seconds, Jim," Julian said.

James stared, then put down his book and followed his brother (with an extremely sour expression) into the hallway, and out of the house. He slammed the door behind him (Laura's  
measurement of the picture frame's tilted distance was an impressive one-and-a-quarter-inches).

**…**

"Ah, another Keller," Dr. McCoy said pleasantly. "There are quite a few of you at the school nowadays. I must say, you are becoming the new Guthrie's."

Julian wrinkled his nose. "Hardly," he said.

Dr. McCoy picked up a piece of rubber tubing. "Now, James, this won't hurt at all if you—"

He leaned forwards in his chair, and Julian also peered closer.

"He's fainted," Dr. McCoy said, his tone fascinated.

"That's not even the needle yet," Julian said. "My god."

"Well, I suppose this _will_ be easier with him unconscious," Dr. McCoy said, tying the piece of rubber around the boy's arm to cause the vein to pop up. "I've never had that happen  
before. They usually wait until they see a sharp object…"

Julian watched as the doctor withdrew a few small vials of blood from the boy's arm, then placed them in a rack. "I will place some of that in my trusty centrifuge, and take a look at  
what's going on in those cells of his," Dr. McCoy said, applying a cotton swab to the tiny spot of blood and then a piece of tape to hold it in place.

"Perhaps, in the meantime, you could attempt to rouse him? There are a few other tests I would like to perform. He may be disturbed if he comes to in the MRI scan machine…and  
that is expensive equipment."

**…**

"Yes, yes," Dr. McCoy murmured, holding up the slide with a chromosome, extremely magnified.

"It's undeniable. Look, there, the X-gene."

Julian peered at the slide. "I don't see anything."

"Have you not paid attention in Biology?" Dr. McCoy asked.

"Uh…" Julian looked sheepish. "I failed that exam, remember?"

Dr. McCoy closed his eyes, then patiently withdrew a highlighter from his pocket and rubbed it over a tiny section of DNA. "There. That is the X-gene, which decides whether or  
not a person is _homo sapiens _or _homo superior._"

"…so he's a mutant, right?" Julian said.

"Where you _sleeping _through my course?" Dr. McCoy asked, exasperated.

"It's all a blur," Julian said apologetically. "Nate kept grabbing my pencil and stabbing me with it."

Dr. McCoy sighed.

"So…what does he _do?_"

They looked at his brother, who was still unconscious.

"I cannot say until we wake him up and run some tests," Dr. McCoy said.

"I think I know what to do," Julian said suddenly. He moved over to his brother, leaned over and whispered in his ear, forgetting that Dr. McCoy had enhanced hearing, like  
Laura and Logan. _"Mom just found your porn stash!"_ he had said.

James blinked. "Wha?" he asked loudly.

Dr. McCoy also blinked, then dismissed it and moved to the MRI scan machine.

"Oh, good, you're awake," Julian said. "You need to go lie down on that tray now…you're going to find out what your power is."

"I'm _not_ a mutant!" James snapped.

"My dear boy, you most certainly are," Dr. McCoy said.

Julian passed his brother the slide.

James looked at it for a few minutes, turned it upside down, his forehead wrinkled. "What the hell _is_ this?" he asked.

"Heavens!" Dr. McCoy said.

"It's your DNA," Julian said. "Look, the highlighted spot. It's a code for a power."

"How do I know this is even mine?" James asked suspiciously, squinting at the highlighted area. "This could be _anyone's._"

"What the hell am I going to gain if I trick you?" Julian asked.

"Maybe you're trying to make me _like_ mutants," James said. "So I'll stop telling you that you suck. Or trying to make me fit in."

"He will probably be a lawyer," Dr. McCoy observed. "James, I assure you that my lab does not endorse such unsavory practices. That's a terrible accusation, and I am,  
quite frankly, offended."

"Good!" James snapped. "I'm surprised you _can_ be offended, though…you're just a big dumb housecat."

"Honestly, I'll just stuff him in the scanner and you can turn it on, okay?" Julian asked, embarrassed.

Dr. McCoy sighed. "We need his cooperation. Movement during the scan will disturb the reading, and require repetition."

"You heard him," Julian said to his brother. "You stay still in there. If you so much as blink, I'll consider you game for open season."

**…**

" Hmm," Dr. McCoy said, looking at the monitor, which was offering an array of colored brain sections, with moving patterns. "He's displaying brain activity similar to that of a  
telepath…but, here's something curious. I've seen this before, twice, two different individuals."

Julian raised his eyebrow, waited for him to continue.

"See how this area moves? I have seen this pattern of movement in Rogue, and in Wither…two mutants with tactile abilities," Dr. McCoy said, pointing at a small swirl on  
one section. "I wish to run an electrode test, while you are touching him."

**…**

"Dear me," Dr. McCoy panted, peering up from behind his desk as his heart began to slow. "That was rather frightening. You can come in, now, Julian…he appears to have stopped."

Julian peered in through the door. "Jesus. I have to _live_ with that?"

"I am _not_ a mutant," James said, less definitely.

"It seems to be mostly through touch," Dr. McCoy said soothingly. "I'm surprised it works through his clothes. Perhaps it's merely the proximity that causes the strength of the  
projection…I would assume that his abilities would extend to the normal range and sensitivity of telepathy-type powers."

"I'm _not_ a telepath!" James said.

"No, you are not," Dr. McCoy said. "There's a different word for it. You are an empath; you are capable of detecting the emotions of people around you. From what I have witnessed—and  
been subject to—I would hypothesize that you absorb emotional energy strongest through touch-contact, channel it, and amplify it into your atmosphere in a magnified fashion. Very  
magnified, I might add."

"No," James said.

Julian poked his shoulder tentatively. Nothing happened.

"Quit it, fag," James said, wrinkling his nose. "See? Nothing's—_arrgh!" _

"This must be what PMS is like," Julian said.

Dr. McCoy growled, like a cat.

James gave him an alarmed look, then removed Julian's finger from his shoulder, just to be on the safe side. The others continued to look angry for a few moments, then their faces  
relaxed and they watched him grimly.

"It's not true!" James burst, leaping off the table and running out of the room.

"What a sucky power," Julian said, watching him go. "Feel sorry for the kid."

"On the contrary, it could be quite useful," Dr. McCoy said. "Ideal for a team situation. Like your friend and teammate, Mr. Cruz…potentially much more, with proper training."

"That's the part that sucks, because it's going to be impossible to get him to _use_ it," Julian grumbled.


	39. 11: back to abnormal 2:6 ominous

**

* * *

  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "back to abnormal" 11 Issue: 2/6 )**

 **Chapter 119: ominous ****  


* * *

**

"HAHAHA! I should totally get one of those tacky bags Emma carries around all the time!" Laura said, pointing at the window display of _Louis Vutton. _"My imitations would be that much better."

"You could charge admission," Julian said. "To make up for the prop-price, 'coz I am sure as hell not sponsoring _that._"

"Hrumpf."

They moved on, taking turns with the smoothie they had purchased as they browsed windows. After an hour had passed, Julian checked his watch and whispered something to Laura; they  
headed to the food court again, where they spotted James sitting at a table with a surly expression and a few bags of purchases, which Julian eyed warily.

The boy had been devastated by the discovery that he now had a power to manage. Dr. McCoy had suggested he practice whenever possible; forced training had shown that his powers were  
slightly less acute through clothing.

James, always counted on to be extreme, had demanded to be brought shopping; Julian thought that the bags might contain a bee keeper's suit (considering his attitude), and tried not to laugh.

"All done?" Laura asked. "I mean, you _sure?_ You took longer than I do."

"It's not easy dealing with this!" James snapped.

"For the love of god, you're not like Kevin," Julian said. "You're totally overreacting. This is something you can _learn_ to handle."

"Fuck that. I don't want to be dealing with whatever the fuck _you_ two are feeling all day!" James glared at them.

"Ah-heh," Laura said, realizing the living situation was going to become quite awkward. Even more awkward than it already was.

"Keep it down," Julian reminded him warily.

"Like you did, when _you_—"

"I wasn't very smart, was I?" Julian cut him off quickly. Laura glanced at him curiously; it hadn't really occurred to her that James _knew_ what had happened in Julian's teenaged years, more than  
the vague explanation she'd been given.

"Let's go," Julian added. "I can't take it in here much longer."

**…**

The woman sitting across the food court watched the three people in the opposite corner with an eagle-like blue eyes. To the casual observers around her, she had bright red hair, flowing loose  
around her shoulders. To the people in question, she was an old lady, with close-cropped grey hair and wrinkled skin.

She stood up as they headed out; following them carefully to the door, she observed the appearance of the two boys. She knew very well who they were. One of them, the older, slightly taller  
and more athletically defined boy, had eyes like hers; the second one was ever-so-slightly chubbier, still youthful. The girl she did not examine as much, but she knew who she was.

Quite well.

She paused at the doors. Her intentions—what were they? She knew what she had agreed to, all those years ago…she'd accepted the payment offered. It was done, there was no way to go  
back. But…a small hope remained in her heart. Her heart, which she'd thought she didn't have when she'd learned that she was just a clone. No, she did have one, she knew that now.

It hoped that he would be able to save himself.

**…**

In the parking lot, Julian fumbled in his pocket for the keys while Laura and James waited (rather impatiently). Change…no…Kleenex, no…pills, no…he switched the bag to his other hand and  
tried that pocket. Pacifier, no…gum-stick, no…keys…no, those were the house keys…

He froze suddenly, staring at the pavement, but not seeing it.

_**Julian, **_a voice said in his head.

"You okay?" Laura asked, seeing his expression.

Julian looked up, turned around, saw the old lady at the end of the parking lot. He recognized her from the cafeteria. Except now she was changing—into his mother.

Madelyne Pryor.

"What?" James asked, staring his brother and feeling vaguely afraid. If he'd gone crazy, how was he going to survive?

"It's mom," Julian said, staring at the old woman.

"…okay," James said.

Laura's eyes widened and she stared at the old woman, her nostrils flaring.

"Get in the car," she said, popping her claw. "We have to leave _now._ She's—"

Julian stared at his mother.

_**Please, listen, **_Madelyne said slowly. _**I know…I know I haven't done the right thing, at times. I realized that…when William died, I—**_

"JULIAN!" Laura said desperately, tugging on the sleeve of his jacket. She couldn't hear Madelyne.

—_**realized that I was more than I was planned to be. I know you blame me. **_

"Damn straight," Julian said out loud, angry.

_**Justly. I can't fix what happened. **_Madelyne paused. _**But…I…be careful. Be very careful. Where you are, the institute…it's not safe. It will happen whether you wish it or not, but…where  
it happens will make all the difference in the world.**_

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Julian asked.

_**Language, darling, **_Madelyne said, smiling fondly. She paused again. _**I…I love you, Julian…and tell your brother that I love him, too…**_

"He's standing _right here!" _Julian snapped.

Madelyne was gone, or appeared to be so. _**"FUCK!"**_ Julian roared, slamming his fist against the car door in frustration..

Laura and James stared at him with wide eyes.

Then James blinked.

"AARGH!" he yelled, grabbing his head, and suddenly Julian was quite distracted, as pulses of his own anger washed over him, much stronger.

"Holy shit! KELLER, make him STOP!" Laura snapped, the rest of her claws popping. "He's going to start a riot!"

"Uh—" Julian jumped as two cars in the lane into the parking lot collided. A glass in the window of the department store beside them suddenly fractured as a weight-lifting ball flew through it. An ominous  
sound reached his ears—a crowd of voices raised in anger.

He thought very hard of doorbells.

**…**

"That _sucked,_" Laura grumbled, stepping out of the shower and reaching for a towel. "That kid has got to get a handle on that thing, and fast. On the other hand, used McDonald's fat is the most disgusting  
thing in the world. I might have to cut my hair off, thanks."

"It was mostly my fault," Julian pointed out, wiping water out of his eyes.

"Hrumpf," Laura said. She paused, rubbing her head vigorously with the towel.

"So just what the hell did Madelyne say to you?"

"I dunno. Some bull shit about how the school's not safe…how 'it's going to happen anyway'. I couldn't make heads or tails of what she was talking about. Then she…" he looked angry again. "She wouldn't  
let Jim see her, even though he was right there. I just got pissed off at that point."

"She's crazy. We knew that already," Laura said dismissively, hanging up the towel. "Hope she leaves it at that…I will _kill_ her if she goes near the Shrimps."

Julian didn't comment. He was of two opinions on the matter—one fully agreed with Laura's declaration, especially after his sister; the other protested. Madelyne _was_ his mother.

"I totally think we should be exempt from training," Laura said, moving into the bedroom and gazing at the uniform on the bed. "That could've counted as a field day. HEY—maybe you could talk to Emma—"

"I could do with blowing off some steam on simulations," Julian said quietly. "Especially since I've had to be all calm and easy because of the incredible emo kid. It just keeps getting worse, doesn't it?"

…

"If by blowing off steam, you meant getting hit so hard you're literally _smoking,_ well, then, congratulations," Laura said, wrinkling her nose as she nudged Julian—who was lying on his back—with her toe.

"Go 'way," he mumbled, sitting up slowly.

"Woah, man!" Josh was running up, his eyes wide. "You okay? You break anything? That looked nasty as hell!"

"I'm fine," Julian said, sitting up and holding his head. Blood was pouring down his forehead from a superficial wound. "I think…didn't…see that…coming."

"Maybe if you had been looking where you were _going,_" Laura pointed out, but she didn't sound negative. This time he'd been looking at her instead of Sofia; he had been thinking of that question she'd  
posted on _Yahoo!, _and wondering what her response had been (he'd gotten caught up with his own situations)—when _bam!_—he'd flown right into the charging palm of a Sentinel.

He felt dizzy.

A few others were running towards him, asking questions, but he wasn't really paying attention. Sofia was amongst them, her eyes wide.

"Is he alright?" she asked, seeing the blood.

"Uh…"

Laura held up her middle finger at him. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Julian squinted at the hand. "Blue…"

"He's totally got a concussion," Laura replied. "Heal away, Josh."

Josh touched Julian's forehead, and the glaze on his eyes cleared during the golden glow. "Jeez, yeah, he cracked his skull there," Josh said.

"Thought so," Laura said, looking up at the paused Sentinel and noting the large indent on its outstretched hand. "I heard a loud crunch. Huh, guess this proves that, despite our suspicions, his head _isn't_ solid bone…"

"Shut up," Julian said, getting to his feet and brushing himself off.


	40. 11: back to abnormal 3:6 tempers

**A/N: **Dubble update! And this one has some quality Nate time. He's reached the age where I can now include his antics in stories; expect him and Rachel to have alot more screen time in Volume 4. I'm also thinking about doing a small spin-off series about Nate, and his day-to-day adventures, told from his point of view. They'd vary from interactions with Tito, observations of his parents Laura and Julian, as well as time spent with his mom's DNA original, do this when I have a bit more time or have a few other series wrapped up :-)

Also, yes, I realized (while writing the King for a Day arc) that James Keller has become a character in his own right. And for some reason, I realized he had powers too, and they were quite ironic. He's Julian's awkward kid brother in this series, fourteen, reclusive, really surly, into heavy metal and is annoyed at having to move in with his brother. Oh yeah, and (like Josh when he joined the Reavers), he hates mutants. So what power does he get? The ability to feel whatever those around him are feeling, and, with more project, the ability to reflect it like a mirror (intensifying them in the process). Now he's forced to sympathize...and he's going to undergo a shift in character.

**

* * *

( Volume: 3 Arc: "back to abnormal" 11 Issue: 3/6 )**

 **Chapter 120: tempers ****  


* * *

**

"Nate, we're going to play a little game, okay?" Julian said.

He and the toddler were sitting at the kitchen table, Nate in his highchair.

In-between the index finger and thumb of Julian's raised hand was a paperclip.

It had been a unanimous agreement that the toddlers were getting close to the age that they'd need power-counseling. Rachel, although aware of her abilities, did not  
tap into them much and seemed to have an astonishing amount of control over their usage. Nate, on the other hand, lived to make trouble, and was delighted to find  
he had another method in which to do this.

This decision to begin training Nate had been cemented after the Costco experience. Frost had offered to Julian the use of the Danger Room, on weekends, on which  
to do this; they'd spent an afternoon creating an environment that would be familiar and 'safe' to the boy.

"Otay," Nate said, looking at Julian and ignoring the paperclip.

"No, the paperclip," Julian said. "Look at it. I'm going to take my hand away, and you're going to make it stay right where it is, okay?"

Nate nodded, picking his nose.

"Stop it. Ready?"

He opened his fingers and the clip clattered to the table top. Julian bit his lip in frustration—this was at least the hundredth time he'd tried to get the toddler to concentrate on  
the small piece of metal, to no avail. He didn't understand how the boy could not understand; he was certainly intelligent enough. He did things Laura asked him, without  
question (usually, unless it was really special).

Maybe it was just because he really _wanted_ to get past this part.

"Nate," he said, trying not to sound frustrated.

"Otay."

"Pick up the paperclip, Nate," Julian said, looking at it. "Like this. See?" He concentrated; the metal curl stood up, surrounded by a green glow.

Nate clapped his hands in delight.

"Now _you_ do it," Julian said, not much encourage by this. The first time he'd seen the behavior, he'd been convinced that the next attempt would be the one. Then it had happened  
again, and again, and again…

Same as always, Nate just picked his nose. Julian rubbed his forehead and breathed out slowly. The kid was like something out of _the Simpsons_, or _Malcolm in the Middle. _He sometimes  
considered just filming him and selling it; unfortunately the subject matter would not be welcome in public opinion.

"Dude, stop it," he said.

Nate removed his finger and stared at his father belligerently.

"Come on, Nate, it's not hard. You were flying before."

"FLY!" Nate burst. "I wanna go fly! Tito can fly! Wanna fly with Tito!"

Julian considered this. "Make the paperclip move and I'll let you fly for a bit."

"WANT!" Nate shouted, and Julian had the distinct impression that somewhere Rachel was saying the same thing, probably to a confused Laura, without apparent cause. Nate stopped,  
seeming to realize it wasn't as effective without his sister actually _there._

"Want," he said again, pouting.

"Make the paperclip move first," Julian said.

Nate began to pick his nose again. "For the love of god, stop it!" Julian snapped, mentally yanking his hand away. "You _don't_ do that, got it?"

The boy's face crumpled.

"Nate…" Julian released his hand (which he hadn't even been holding hard). "You need to _listen._ Don't pick your nose, unless you're in the bathroom. It's embarrassing, okay?"

_**Hmm, **_ Emma said, from the control room, where she'd been observing. _**Allow him to do it. I have a hunch. **_

"To pick his nose? _Really?_" Julian asked, disturbed at hearing this from Frost.

_**Yes. **_

"Alright," Julian sighed, holding up the paperclip again. "Nate…I'm going to let this go…and you're going to keep it there, okay? Do, uh, whatever you need to do…uh…"

"Otay," Nate said.

Julian released the paperclip. Nate picked his nose; at first the clip fell to the tabletop, then about two inches away it stopped, glowing a slight blue color. He had to lean in close to see the  
energy around the metal.

"Huh," he said, examining the floating paperclip.

…

"So, how'd it go?" Laura asked as Nate went _whump, _wrapping himself around her leg. She touched the boy's head as he began to babble about what he'd done for the day.

When his explanation had been finished, she looked to Julian for the real account. He avoided her gaze; he didn't want to describe the day's events, as that would lead to the fact that Nate  
had inherited his need for a limb to channel energy.

"Well?" Laura asked.

"He did it," Julian said simply, moving to the kitchen and opening the fridge for distraction. "What's for supper? Seriously…not the meatballs again…we've had it for four days straight…"

Laura folded her arms. "Two. And something's up, admit it."

Julian sighed, pulled out the pan and put it on the stove. "Fine, fine. Uh…Nate's little problem…you know—"

"The problem were he can't keep his finger out of _there?_ Yes, I'm familiar," Laura said, watching as Nate ran to Rachel, who was playing with the Lego castle.

"It's, uh, his way of channeling his TK, apparently," Julian admitted, flushing slightly. He paused. "Like…like I do…"

"Oh, is it now?" Laura glared at him. "_KELLER!_ Why do you have to be so effed up?! Why can't you be a _normal _telekinetic?"

"Way to contradict yourself, jeez," he said. "It's hard to explain. I just feel like I have more control when I use my hand…it makes _it_ feel like a hand. I can't imagine what Nate's feels like if he  
picks his nose when he does it…"

Laura sighed and sat at the table, covering her face with her hands.

"I'm sure it's just for now," Julian said. "He's only, what, a year old? I highly doubt he'll do that when he's older."

"HOLY EMBARASSING!" she said through her hands, in a high-pitched voice.

"Kinda," he replied, grinning slightly. "Look on the bright side. It could be worse…there's other body parts he could be touching, right?"

"Oh my god. Don't _even,_" Laura said, horrified.

"Since when are _you_ all P's and Q's anyways?" Julian asked. He'd seen her do _many_ rude things in public—including but not limited to burping (she had an impressive belch), passing gas and  
shoving people—without so much as an 'excuse me'.

"They're representing our parenting skills!" Laura said, her tone outraged.

"Alright, fine," Julian said, holding up his hand. He didn't especially feel like arguing over her inconsistencies; he just considered it the norm for Laura.

**…**

James stopped in the doorway and stared at his brother, who was wearing a weird, tight, red-and-white suit; distinctly not what he'd been wearing during the sewer incident. _Those_ clothes  
had made sense—dark, nothing too flashy.

Julian was pulling on a pair of red gloves. He noticed his presence and turned. "Something to say?" he asked, acting like he didn't even _notice _how he was dressed.

"…I'll come back later," James said, one eyebrow raised. "Do you _seriously_ wear that thing in public?"

"Uh-huh," Julian said. _Snap, _his other glove. "Problem with it?"

"Just that you're wearing _tights,_" James said. "I wasn't aware you were Peter Pan."

"The band of lost kids didn't tip you off?" Julian grinned, picking up his usual jacket from the bed. "Come on, Wendy! We're late!"

"Shut the eff up, Keller," Laura said from the bathroom.

"It's weird how she calls you by surname," James said. "She's your _wife…" _

"I got used to it," Julian said, shrugging his jacket on.

James hesitated. "Can I come?" he asked.

Julian stopped and studied his brother. "…what?" he asked, now the one with raised eyebrows. This was very out of character for the boy, who still liked to maintain the idea that 'muties (were) going to hell!'.

"Forget it," James said. "I just, uh, it sounded fun…I heard some kids in the cafeteria talk about it." He was now attending classes at the mansion; tests had found him to be about grade 11 level, so he'd  
been enrolled for about a week now. He was still very defensive and surly, but Julian could tell he was starting to warm up to the idea of having powers. A little.

"Well, you can't come in with us or anything," Julian said. "We're the best squad. We do really hard things, like—"

"—getting hurt a lot," Laura called from the bathroom. "_Especially_ Keller, he's like the team mascot. We run pools on which bone he'll break before each session! It was his head last time, so the  
next one _has_ to be good. Want in?"

"Be quiet," Julian said.

James looked amused. "Can I watch, then?"

"Creepy," Laura called.

Julian shrugged. "Uh, sure…I guess…if Frost is okay with it."

…

The Danger Room doors opened with a _hiss_ and they walked in, Julian's eyes searching the room and finally finding Frost in the corner, talking to Moonstar. He headed over, James in tow; Frost  
turned and raised her eyebrows.

"Uh…Miss Frost…would it be okay if he watched from the observation booth?" Julian asked.

Frost raised her eyebrow and examined the boy coolly. "I suppose, as long as he is quiet and well-mannered, and does not get in the way."

James scuffed the floor with his sneaker, but nodded slightly. Julian patted his shoulder then headed towards his squad, who were all shooting glances at the newcomer, some having seen  
him around the school, and all having heard (from Julian) about his brother's presence, but a few not having put two and two together.

"Why is _he_ here?" Nori demanded.

"To watch," Julian said calmly. "I think the tide's turning."

"He just wants to watch TnA in motion," Laura said loudly.

"Ewwwwwwwwww! Gross! I am _so_ not okay with that!" Nori said.

"It will not harm us, Nori," Sofia admonished. "Let the boy stay. Perhaps he will gain a greater appreciation of mutants."

"Failing that, a better working knowledge of boobs," Santo grinned.

"Put a lid on it, guys," Julian said. "He's my _brother. _I won't—"

"That's how we know what he's like," Cessily said, in a teasing tone.

Julian glared at her.

"Jeez, fine, we're sorry," she said.

"Speak for yourself," Nori said. "I'm serious, I don't want him watching!"

"I highly doubt he'd be watching _you,_" Julian said coldly.

Silence.

"What the—" Nori balled her hands into fists; David automatically grabbed her hand. "YOU TAKE THAT BACK, KELLER!"

"No." Julian gave her a mean look. "Just calling it as I see it, Ashida. And _you're_ the one who's eager to bring it up…I mean, I was willing to ignore it…"

"Fuck you! You're such an asshole! DAVID, how can you just stand there and let him say stuff like that about me?"

David glared at Julian. "I don't need to say what I'm thinking about him," he said.

"Something about your mother!" Santo contributed.

Josh grinned. "What he said!" He looked amused, but was standing close to David, ready to stand up for him.

"'Cause you're not thinking anything," Julian said to David, his arms folded. "You just depend on everyone else for your info, don't you? You're such a weak little excuse for a mutant, I don't  
see why you're even on this—"

"Between Nate picking his nose in public and you sprouting shit from the wrong end, Keller, I'm embarrassed to show my face at the school," Laura said loudly, exasperated. "For fuck's sake,  
if we're going to stand around fighting all day, there won't _be_ a practice at all."

Silence.

"How come you never back me up?" Julian asked, but his voice no longer had a sharp edge. It was hard to combat such words, spoken in such a logical, matter-of-fact way.

"Come up with something good and I will," Laura said. "Now, are we going to practice, or can I go home and be with _mature_ people? I mean my toddlers, of course. I'm astonished to say this  
but I don't feel like having a hoedown with any of you just now."

Josh grinned. "I'm still up for teaming."

Sofia blinked. "Of course."

"I don't want to team with _him,_" Nori said. "Forget it. David?"

David looked worried. "I…"

"Pathetic," Julian said, unable to help himself.

Laura rolled her eyes, turned and stomped out of the Danger Room, her footsteps extra heavy in her boots.

"Way to go, Julian," Cessily said, looking angry.

Nori and David left, then the practice commenced.

…

James lingered behind to ask Frost something, so Julian headed home alone, running his mind over how he was going to deal with Laura. Hopefully, she would just be mildly irritated and  
not epically upset.

He opened the front door of the house tentatively and peered in, as if afraid she would be waiting to rip his head off; however, she was sitting at the kitchen table, working at a sheet of  
exercises. The Shrimps were absent, as they were spending the evening with Logan.

"Hi," he said, closing the door softly.

"Hallo," she replied casually, her pencil poised over one question. She mouthed some numbers, then wrote down an answer (without a calculator, as usual).

"You're not mad?" he asked, unzipping his jacket.

"Huh?" Laura looked up.

"About earlier," he said. "I, uh…"

"Oh," she said. "I haven't thought about it for a bit. Like I said before, Keller…I don't give two shits about Squads. I'm only there because you seem to be all tied up in it. If you make the  
atmosphere unpleasant, I'm gone. That is all."

"Noted," he said. He approached her slowly. "I'm sorry, I guess…I don't like Ashida…I know you do, though…and I guess I was being—"

"You 'guess'?" Laura asked.

"Alright, I _know,_" Julian said, grinning slightly. "She just gets me irritated sometimes…she thinks she knows everything…she's like Nancy Grace."

Laura paused. She had expressed strong hatred of the aforementioned, and often watched her show to criticize her (loudly).

"She _likes_ fighting, too," Julian said, sitting down in the chair near her. He felt the need to explain. "It's like she picks the opposite side on purpose, sometimes. And she picks on me…you  
haven't seen her in class."

"And I don't?" Laura asked pointedly.

"Well…" Julian considered this. "You're _hot._"

"That's fairness, right there," Laura said. "Aren't you supposed to be an impartial judge with all that leadership bullshit you read?"

"Give me a break. I meant, I've always felt like you're flirting when you're nasty to me. Ashida _means_ it—"

"Whoa, back it up! I'm _not _flirting with you when I—" Laura was indignant.

"Holy fuck! I've made an enormous mistake! Give me the ring back, please," Julian said, his eyes wide; she stopped to grin. "Maybe," she admitted.

"Anyway…I dunno, I just didn't like what she said about Jim," he continued. "He's not a _bad_ kid. She doesn't even know him and she's judging him."

"You don't know Nori either," Laura pointed out. "Or David. What was that you said? Oh, yeah—_'Cause you're not thinking anything, you just depend on everyone else for your info, don't you? You're  
such a weak little excuse for a mutant, I don't see why you're even on this team…pathetic'_…pot calling the kettle black, much?"

Julian looked at the table. It was annoying how Laura had phonographic memory; he could never, ever get away with _anything. _

"Yeah, well," he said.

"It's on your own head," Laura said indifferently. "I could care less. But remember, I'm not coming back unless the team is a happy unit. That means everyone, including Nori and David."

Julian froze. "What—you can't mean—I'm not going to apologize to them!"

"That's fine," Laura said, her face straight, her voice flat. Uninterested. "Find another person to fill my spot then. Shouldn't be hard, there's some good people this year…"

"Laura—"

"That's my name, don't wear it out." She went back to working on her sheet.

Julian could see she wasn't going to budge; he got up, grabbed his jacket from the peg, and slammed the door as hard as he could, his teeth gritted. She was so fucking…he couldn't finish  
the thought, he needed to get out.

Laura peered over the table and saw that the picture was now resting on the floor. She whistled and set about to re-hanging it.


	41. 11:BtA 4:6 How to Get Laura to Do Things

**

* * *

  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "back to abnormal" 10 Issue: 4/6 )**

 **Chapter 121: How to Get Laura to Do Things ******

* * *

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"I said, no."

"Please."

"No means no."

"Please."

"…"

"_**WANT!**_"

"KELLER!" Laura snapped, although she seemed amused. "I told you, I'm not coming back till those conditions are satisfied."

Julian folded his arms. They were sitting on the couch, watching TV, and for the last day he'd been trying to change Laura's mind about leaving the team. So far, she wasn't budging, but  
he thought if he caught her at the right moment, she just might.

He'd begun looking to Nate for tips on How To Get Laura To Do Things.

Seeing as the boy _was_ the leading expert in the field. Laura _always_ gave into the boy's requests, or at least compromised (usually giving Nate quite a fair trade-off). Usually the boy got his  
way by being 'cute' to Laura and amusing her (when Laura was amused, she was quite generous); he decided that would be his strategy, then.

"It's not the same without you," he said, frowning. "I don't have anyone to distract me. I haven't broken _anything_ the last two practices."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Laura…people are getting angry. They're losing their bets. Things get messy when money's involved."

"HAHAHAHAHAA! AHAHA!" Laura found this hilarious.

"Come on…come back. I swear I won't be nasty to anyone."

"When Nori and David are back, I will," Laura said, still grinning.

_God damn her. _

Julian tapped the armrest with his fingers, leaning his cheek on his fist. She was so _stubborn. _He reminded himself that she _was_ Wolverine's clone.

He'd have to be just as stubborn.

**…**

Laura was panting, her eyes glassy, and he looked up. A sudden plan formed—he didn't really understand how he could be planning at the moment—but it was there, and he didn't question it.

"Please?" he said.

She snapped her head down to look at him. "W-what?"

He didn't answer, but he supposed she must have seen it in his eyes.

"Get OUT!" Laura snapped, sitting up and throwing the pillow at his face.

"Wait—forget it—" Julian warded off the pillow with his arm. "I wasn't thinking, just forget it—"

"…" Laura clamped her knees firmly together and sat up. "Out, _now._"

Julian stared at her, unable to comprehend. "But…"

"I can't believe you'd bring up the squad in the bedroom, you complete asshole. I don't want to look at you right now. Sleep on the couch."

Julian thought fast (although in reality it took a minute for the words to get out). "Huh? I wasn't…what…?"

He must have looked confused enough that Laura bought this.

"Why'd you say please then?"

"Uh," he said. Another minute-long pause. "I meant…can I?"

Laura raised her eyebrow. "You've never asked before…you usually just go for the gold all by yourself."

"Heh," he said, getting on to the bed and kneeling over her so their noses were an inch apart. "Do you _really_ think I'd be thinking about anything else right now?" he asked, watching her.

It was working. He could get away with _a lot_ if he gave women just the right look; something about his eyes. It was difficult to do, and only worked if he was really in earnest, like he was now.

Laura wavered, then smiled slowly, falling for it. "No," she said.

**…**

Two weeks passed, with 'convincing Laura' as the top priority, which was impressive, considering his other duties: teaching, studying, team-leading, parenting, helping his brother figure  
things out at the school, and dealing with his lawyers (who kept hassling him to drop everything else and come run the company; he'd kept them at bay so far by promising to do so over summer break).

He'd ceased his attempts for a few days following the 'bedroom scare', as he thought of it; but then he'd gone right back to it, convinced that Laura hadn't noticed a thing.

It had become a sort of game to him, until now; now, the third Field Day was quickly approaching, and he didn't think the team could manage without three of its members, considering that Frost  
hadn't lessened the program loads. She insisted that if he wanted to win, he would need his whole team, and it was his responsibility to keep them together.

**…**

"I need some advice," Julian blurted.

He was in Logan's self defense class, the last one there, because he'd realized that the older mutant might know what to do. Laura went to her mentor almost constantly for advice—maybe he'd  
know how to handle this situation.

Logan raised his eyebrow. "Is that so, kid? What makes you think you're entitled to receive it?"

Julian paused. "I put up with Laura?"

Logan considered this. "What's your question?"

"Uh," Julian grimaced and rubbed the back of his head. "I kind of…Laura left the squad and she won't come back."

"I knew it, it's a damn teenager-thing again," Logan sighed.

"I caused it," Julian said. "Ashida…made a rude comment about my brother…I, uh, said something back…and she and David left…taking Laura with them. She says she'll come back when I apologize to the others."

"Kid, I got enough problems of my own without guiding people to answers that are that obvious," Logan said, sounding annoyed. "Just apologize and get it over with. What's more important—your pride or your girl?"

"Uh—well—what about my brother?"

"What _about _your brother?"

"They said some nasty shit about him."

Logan considered this. "Well, does that mean you should say nasty shit _back?_ There are ways to defend other people without being a dick. You can call them out for a fight—you can ask them nicely—but  
playing games with words and picking back on them really doesn't do much. You just sink to their level, and you don't accomplish anything in the end."

Julian paused. He hadn't expected Logan to sprout a mass of philosophy that made things seem so simple. Looking at Logan, it was easy to forget that the man had lived over a hundred and twenty  
years as a soldier, an assassin, a lover—and had trained with samurais.

"Uh…thanks," he said.

"Only helpin' you out 'coz you've got my clone by the balls," Logan said.

"NEVER say that again!" Julian said, shuddering. "I threw up in my mouth a little, my god."

Logan grinned. "Word to the wise, kid—listen to Laura. She might not have all _her_ eggs in one basket, but she's pretty good at keepin' other people's eggs in line. Kinda like me, I guess." He looked  
distant for a moment, then cleared his throat. "Get lost, kid…got to clean up."

Julian turned, and the mats swept up against the wall, then a cloud of dust zoomed to the garbage can, followed by a few stray candy wrappers.

"Oh," Logan said. "Now I can get drunk quicker, that's terrific. Thanks kid."

He grinned.

"Returning your favor," Julian said as he left the dojo.

**…**

Julian was quiet that night, thinking over Logan's advice, Laura's conditions, and his own knowledge that the team needed all _three_ members back to function as it should. He wrestled with the  
idea for a while, then finally decided he would, as the older man had suggested, talk to the offended, the next day.

**…**

"Ashida—wait up," he called, running after the Asian girl in the hallway after Physics. Nori glanced around, her eyes widened, and she started moving even faster, trying to ditch him.

"I just want to talk!" Julian said, exasperated.

Nori stopped. They were at the end of the main hall, which was packed with students filing to their different classes.

"I have nothing to say to you, Keller!" Nori snapped.

"Well _I've_ got something to say to _you,_" he said. He hesitated for a moment.

"I'm sorry I said you're as ugly as the backend of a horse, and that David's a pussy. Will you guys come back?"

Nori glared at him. "You didn't say that!"

"Whoops," he said, grinning. Nori turned again.

"Wait, wait, it was a _joke,_" he said, hopping after her. "Ashida! I really want you guys to practice with us again! The lack of your presence has left a gaping hole in our ranks!"

"Keller, just shut _up,_" Nori said angrily. "You're such a piece of shit."

Julian paused. "In all fairness, I implied you're ugly 'coz _you_ called my brother a perv…it didn't sit right with me. Ancient meditation techniques taught me I should've punched you in the face instead."

"Huh?" Nori asked.

"I talked to Logan," Julian said. "He said some stuff that made sense. We're really _not_ going to get anywhere by insulting each other. You call me dumb, I call you ugly. Doesn't prove I'm not dumb, does it?"

Nori paused. He'd obviously caught her attention.

"I think we should just stop being dicks to each other and focus. Our team is two Field Days away from winning. We'd be X-men, for crying out loud. Why waste _that_ on a couple of lame insults?"

Nori considered. "Are you _sorry_ for what you said?"

"Not really, but, then again, I'm sure you're not sorry about Jim," Julian said reasonably.

"Laura put you up to this," Nori said accusingly.

"Kinda. But she only provided the initiative. We should've made a truce already."

Nori sighed. "Let me think. I hate you and I hate working with you. But I _do_ want to be an X-man. Of course, as soon as I graduate I'd request a transfer off the team, to get as far away from you as possible."

"Fine by me," Julian said.


	42. 11: BtA 5:6 field day part 1: clowns

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "back to abnormal" 11 Issue: 5/6 )**

** Chapter 122: field day pt 1: clown **

* * *

"Uhh," Julian said, examining the triangular plate of metal. "A clown? What the hell?"

He was squinting at the etchings on Nimrod's chest plate. They had until tomorrow to crack the cryptogram, and so far weren't having much success. Sofia sat  
beside him with a notepad and pencil; the other eight were sitting around the table (which was round).

"I dunno...is the whole team afraid of clowns or something?" Josh asked.

Santo looked away.

Sofia tapped her pencil on the paper. "Please, we need to focus," she said, her forehead wrinkled. Under the table, her knee touched Julian's; he let it remain, not  
saying anything. Or thinking much of it. He was trying to understand the next symbol.

"I don't understand why there's a globe," Cessily said.

"It's got to be for location," Julian said. "There must be a tiny mark or something that we can't see." He examined it carefully.

"Okay…so far, we have a cable…a clown…a knife…and a globe. Write it down, Sof."

She did so quickly in her neat cursive handwriting. He glanced at her hand and noted her nails were polished and manicured. He didn't pay much attention to hands, as a general  
fact; he didn't even know what Laura's looked like at the moment. For some reason he noticed it now though.

She caught him looking and gave him a small smile.

He looked away, annoyed with himself. He remembered Laura's question, with guilt, and resolved that if he managed to get her back on the team, he'd stop these weird little  
lingerings with Sofia. He hadn't wanted to admit to them before, but now that Laura wasn't here, he _did_ see they occurred.

"We're going to be chased around the world by murderous clowns?" Josh asked.

Santo shuddered.

The door to the Grindstone opened at that moment, the bell tingling, and three people entered. Julian looked up and was relieved.

"Fine," Nori said, "I accept your peace offering. I've brought the brains. Did you miss them?"

"Yes," Santo and Josh said simultaneously.

"Pretty much," Julian said. The newcomers pulled up chairs; he pushed his back as Laura moved past him and caught her around the waist, pulling her onto his lap and hugging  
her tightly under the table. She seemed surprised at the affectionate move, as he usually avoided touching her during team situations.

" Here, have at it," he said, nodding at the plate.

She picked it up and examined it. "You know the first one is a cable, right?"

"We do, yes," Sofia said.

"And the second is a clown."

Julian rested his chin on her shoulder and peered at the plate. "Uh-huh."

David picked the plate up as Laura set it down. "A clown, a knife and a globe…"

"Maybe the clown stands for the location? Like the circus?" Laura suggested.

"True," Julian said.

David paused. "Oh my god," he said. "Arcade. The knife and the globe…we're going to Murderworld."

"…"

**…**

The stopwatch had been started, and there was a flurry of activity as the groups had split up and charged off to the respective locations of their challenges. Santo almost  
took off with the wrong group (Julian suspected this was on purpose, and had yelled at his friend as he'd hauled him back).

They held their collective breath as the Danger Room doors parted…to reveal nothing.

"Huh?" Julian asked, confused.

"This makes no sense," David said. "We're supposed to be here."

Laura folded her arms. "Maybe—"

She was rudely interrupted by a _**BAMF!** _right beside her. Laura blinked in surprise, choking on whatever she'd been going to say. One of their teachers—Mr. Wagner—was grinning  
at them with his startling, demon-like features, very mischievously.

"_Guten tag. _Excuse my abrupt appearance, _liebling, _but I must borrow you for a few moments, _ja?_ This won't hurt at all." He reached out and scooped Laura up by the waist; she  
began to squeal "DON'T LET IT GET M—" but her voice was cut off by another **_BAMF! _**

"LAURA!" Julian looked around in panicked confusion. David put a hand on his shoulder. "Calm down—they've taken her hostage for the simulation. Remember, it's only a—"

_BAMF! _"Oh, my, I seem to have forgotten something, _ja? Mein gott, _how rude of me. My apologies_._" He grabbed David around the waist.

"_Auf Wiedersehen!"_he called cheerfully as he disappeared with a final_ **BAMF!**_

"DAVID!" Nori said, no longer calm.

The Danger Room made a slurping sound, and a dark tunnel suddenly appeared before them.

"This sucks!" Santo said in an agitated voice. "There is _no way_ I am going in that place without the brains! Just no freakin' way!"

"Get back here!" Julian snapped, grabbing Santo's shoulder as he tried to stalk off. "_Everyone_ is going in, end of story."

Santo looked into the dark hallway, and at that moment a crazy laugh echoed, suspiciously clown-like in nature.

"I'M AFRAID OF CLOWNS, OKAY?!" he burst.

Silence.

"No one wants to go in there, Santo," Cessily said. "We have to…"

"You don't get it," Santo mumbled. "I mean, I'm literally _terrified_ of clowns. I will go bat-shit crazy if I see one. I start sweating, and I don't even have pores!"

"Jesus Christ." Julian covered his face with his palm. "You're joking, right?"

"No," Santo said.

"Could you not have told us this earlier?"

"It's embarrassing!" Santo snapped.

Nori and Josh looked like they were concealing laughter and failing; the former's shoulders shook. Julian gritted his teeth. "Look, man, they have Laura and David…and I don't know about  
you, but I for one am _going_ to be an X-man. Which means me _and _my team are about to walk in there."

"I'll sit it out," Santo said. "I'm sure they'll understand…it's a phobia."

"No they won't!" Julian said. "Dude, you're our tanker! What if this was for _real?_ You couldn't just 'sit it out'! If you're going to be on our team, we have to know you're going to  
be _operational _in situations like this."

"Come on, Santo," Cessily said. "We know you can do this…"

"There is nothing to be afraid of," Sofia said. "This is only a simulation. You will not be harmed."

Santo looked away, his craggy eyebrows compressed.

"Laura would be laughing at you," Julian added. "Come on, guys. Leave the scaredy cat with his own conscience. He'll regret it when we're holding the medal for being the top fighters in  
the school and he skipped out because he's afraid of a few _clowns_."

"Julian…that wasn't nice," Cessily rebuked, following him in.

The team had disappeared from sight; Santo stood with his head hung and his hands in fists. "FINE!" he snapped, stomping in after them.

"I knew that'd get to him," Julian whispered to Cessily, grinning.

**…**

"That robot is so creepy," Laura said to David.

"Agreed," David said, staring at the wall. Of course the robot had decided to haunt the window on _Laura's _side.

They were sitting in wooden chairs back-to-back in the middle of an empty room, their arms tied to their sides and their legs to the legs of the chairs. Before them, in the control room,  
patrolled an android, presumably modeled after Arcade, the villain they were supposed to be fighting. He had red hair and freckles, and an annoying voice. His body made tiny _whirrs _as  
he moved; metallic and hydraulic sounds. Laura was acutely conscious of the noise in the silence.

"So…how did you meet Nori?" Laura asked, for lack of a better topic.

"At this school," David said. "She couldn't control her powers. Had to take all sorts of pills to prevent herself from blowing up. She tried to rob the _Grindstone _for drug money." He sounded amused.

"HAHAHA!" Laura grinned. "That's a great story. How the heck did you end up with her after that?"

"Well, she just had this _something_ about her, you know?" David said. "She's funny, and raw. I like being around her. And…under that shell she's grown, she's a very caring person. I got to know  
her when she was in the infirmary, recovering from a really bad explosion...caused by me and a few others taking her pills away. Then Dr. McCoy built her first gauntlets for her."

"Heh," Laura said. "Cute."

David paused. "How did _you_ end up with Julian? I mean…I really _am_ curious. No one likes him all that much, outside of his circle of friends. Especially back then. He was…hard to be around."

Laura paused. "It's a long story," she said.

'We've got nothing _but_ time…if you want to talk about it," David pointed out. He realized it _was_ a good idea, to learn about his teammates; he also respected Laura and her strategies. They'd  
collaborated on lab reports for a few classes before, and he'd found her to be sensible and intelligent.

"Well…I guess," Laura said. "I didn't want to come here, to this school, but my mother made me. She said she wanted me to learn how to use my powers. I was angry…I mean, what is there  
for me to learn about healing myself?"

"Not much," David agreed.

"I bumped into him when I was mad, and he decided I was his new target," Laura said. "We were quite mean to each other…at least, I was to him until the whole experiment thing. We fought a  
lot, and then I realized I spent more time fighting with _him_ than being around anyone else." Laura paused. "He _does_ seem like a jerk when you don't know him…kind of like Nori, I guess. Maybe like me, a bit."

"I've never thought you were a jerk," David said. "I always thought you've just said what everyone's thinking. Believe me—I _know._"

"Ah-heh," Laura said. "Literally!"

**…**

**"_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_"**

The scream was out before he could stop it, echoing in the hallway, and causing the entire team to burst into laughter. "That was awesome," Josh said, wiping his eyes. "Do you want to hold Santo's hand?"

"Shut the eff up, asshat," Julian snapped, still pale in the dim light. "And stop playing around. Ever heard the cry-wolf fable?"

"No, but if I'm curious, you're obviously the guy to ask," Josh replied, grinning. "You're just full of fairytales and kid's shit these days. You even neuter your swears! You still have balls, right?"

"Wouldn't you like to know." Julian wiped his forehead. "Guys, seriously. This place is called _Murderworld _for a good _reason._"

"Because it's full of murderous clowns?" Brian asked.

"Oh god," Santo said, unable to help himself. His voice was full of loathing.

The group proceeded into a larger chamber, full of strange slabs of material that looked like plastic. The wallpaper was checkered and the floor was polka dots; there were neon lights everywhere,  
and stickers like "BAM!" and "KAPOW!" at random locations.

"What the hell is _this?_" Josh asked.

"It looks like a pinball machine," Jay spoke up, touching the wall. "You know, like they have in arcades. Except way bigger of course."

"Okay, so where is the ball?" Julian asked. Sofia looked at him and shrugged.

"We know you have at least _one_," Josh shot.

Julian rolled his eyes. "Foley, for the—"

_Tilt. _

Everyone automatically leaned to the side, whatever they had been thinking or about to say disappearing to the twisting nethers. Josh grabbed onto Santo, the most stable one of the group.

"Dude!" Santo said, in a disgusted voice. "Please, control yourself!"

"I think _we're_ the ball," Laurie spoke up in her mousy voice, with its little tremble. Julian always associated the girl with small rodent, despite the fact that his friend was enamored with her.

The floor tilted the other way, more severely, and several team members made squeaking noises as they fell to their knees, unable to handle the latest adjustment. Sooraya gasped as she lost  
her balance and tumbled into a pillar, her shoulder striking it with a loud **_crunch!_**

The pillar in turn made a loud bleeping noise, and a previously unnoticed neon sign that said 'TEN POINTS' lit up.

"Sooraya!" Cessily exclaimed, stretching out her hand to her friend and helping to pull her up. The floor tilted back to its normal position—then to the side again, the most extreme adjustment yet. Cessily sent a rope of mercury around her friends, then one around a pillar, effectively securing them.

"Thanks, Cess, that was my next order," Julian said. "I think we better get across as quick as possible. I can just lift everyone along the ceiling. You okay, Sooraya?"

"My shoulder is broken," the girl responded, holding her dangling arm.

"Here, I'll fix it," Josh said, reaching over and touching the wrist of the injured appendage. It glowed, and she flexed it experimentally. "Thank you," she said in a relieved tone. "It was quite painful."

"I'll bet," Josh said.

**"_AHHHHHHH!_**" Cessily shrieked as the pillar she had wrapped her arm around suddenly glowed and emitted a shockwave of electricity.

"LET GO CESS!" Julian shouted, seeing the charge shoot up through her body, heading towards the arm that was wrapped around himself and the others. "Nori—absorb it!" Sofia ordered.

"Way ahead of you," Nori said, her fists raised as the charge _slurrped _up into her gauntlets. "Damn, should write Arcade a thank-you note. A bolt like that would take me hours to gather."

"I've got us, Cess," Julian said, his eyes glowing as a green bubble snaked around the group and formed a disc under their feet. "You can let go now."

Cessily pulled her arm back in, still wincing; Julian flew into the darkness ahead, the others following promptly. He had difficulty navigating the pillars; he could have sworn that  
they moved around, and when he _heard_ one move—and a cartoon-like sign that said 'SURPRISE!' in big letters popped in front of his face—he knew for sure.

"Well, doesn't take the brains to tell me what to do here," he said. All the pillars in the room suddenly collapsed and tumbled to the ground. "There, that should do the—"

_Creek. _

Julian looked up just as the ceiling began to cave in; he had a split second to get them out of the room before it succeeded. It was enough—the entire group hurtled across the space and hit the  
dark exit that said 'OUT' in big flashing red letters. They encountered an unyielding obstruction and impacted with a loud fleshy noise, and many protests.

"Fuck, Julian!" Josh yelled. "You're not content with breaking _yourself,_ you've moved on to _us_ now!"

Julian struggled to get to his knees. "Are you saying you'd rather be in _there_?" The ground shook as the chamber collapsed; there was a loud grating, metallic sound as something slid down on  
both ends, covering the entrance and sealing them in a dark tube.

"Um, yes," Josh snapped.

"…" Julian held up his middle finger and lit it in Josh's face. "That's all I have to say to _you,_ Foley. Now let's—"

"Oh my god!" Cessily yelped, looking around.

Julian turned his head and saw what she was worried about. A giant wall of spikes was now visible at the end of the tunnel—moving towards them slowly on rails. A glance in the other  
direction provided the same sight.

"Well…damn," Julian said, overwhelmed.

"I should have known it wasn't _just_ going to be clowns!" Santo bellowed.

"What the _hell_ do we do?!" Josh exclaimed.

"I'll try and force it apart," Julian said. "Should be easy." He stretched out, sending a force field in each direction; his eyes widened as the walls kept moving, pushing against his mind's  
grasp. "Holy…c'mon people…_help me!_"

There was a flurry of activity as the team tried to force the walls apart; Cessily tried to brace the walls apart, Santo pushed on one with all his might, Sofia filled the tube with a tornado,  
all to no avail. Sooraya then swept under the tracks, trying to slow down the movement, but this did not work either.

"There's only one option left," Julian panted, as the walls crept closer, now about three feet away on either side. "Through the side."

Josh suddenly had an idea and looked down. "Look—Keller—light the floor up! I see something!"

Julian looked down too, and forced the trap door inwards just as the spikes grazed his jacket. By the time the last person—Santo—had jumped into the tunnel—the spikes had  
slammed shut behind them.

"AHHHHH!" Miscellaneous shrieks and screams as they plummeted down the chute into empty space and began to fall for what seemed to be forever. "Brilliant idea, Julian, letting  
the _heavy_ guy go last!" Josh yelled through the wind tearing at their faces.

"Pfft," Julian said, collecting his senses enough to catch everyone in a thought net. They scrambled to their knees on the disc, panting and holding their chests; through the clear  
floor of the disc, they could see a trampoline waiting for them, gleaming sinisterly in the dim light.

"Let me guess…it's concealing a vat of cream," Santo said.

"Probably," Julian said. "This place is so weird…"

**…**

"So your kids—I've always wondered about them, if you don't mind my saying so," David said. "I heard rumors at the school that you were abducted by a testing facility, and they were _in vitero_. Is that true?"

"Test tube babies," Laura agreed. "That would be right, yes."

David raised his eyebrows. "How can you be sure they're Julian's?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm quite sure," Laura said, wrinkling her nose. "Nate is _just_ like him, and Rachel…she's more like me, but I've seen her _do_ things."."

"I see," David said. Then he frowned. "Not to be a downer, but have you ever looked into _why _you were impregnated by the facility? Maybe there was an ulterior motive?"

Laura snorted. "I'll say. It was to have me tripping on children's toys and being force-fed _Lambchops_ and _Barney_ until the songs are stuck in my head. Don't forget the messes I have to clean up daily!"

David grimaced. "Ew. Seriously, though…maybe you should give it some thought. It's a pretty weird thing to do—test facilities usually only run, well, tests on their subjects. They don't breed them."

Laura closed her eyes. "I'm certain, they're my children and there's nothing wrong with them. End of story. They must've just wanted to see what would happen if they combined tube A with tube B."

David remained silent, sensing she was getting defensive. _Nurturing instinct. _

"They _are_ cute," he said after a moment, diplomatically. "Dr. McCoy mentioned they're very advanced for their age. _Really_ advanced."

"They're hella smart!" Laura said enthusiastically.

**…**

"I can't see anything…light, Julian?" Cessily asked as she peered into the next room.

Julian followed her in and held up his hand to light the room. He nearly bit his tongue in surprise as he saw himself reflected a thousand times in a hall of mirrors. "Dude, put it out!" Josh gasped,  
covering his eyes as the energy zipped back and forth between the mirrors.

Julian dimmed the light to a more bearable level.

"Holy!" Cessily said. The other team members were venturing in, their eyes darting everywhere, trying to take in all the reflections.

"_Ahahaha!" _

**"_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_"** Santo screamed, a noise of pure, unbridled terror, and he lept across the room, shattering a row of mirrors on impact.

"Calm down! Dude, what the hell!" Julian said.

"…" Santo struggled to breathe. "_I saw a clown!" _he finally squeaked.

"…" Julian looked like he was about to begin yelling; Sofia put her hand on his shoulder. "Julian…even Storm, the _X-man_, has a phobia. She is afraid of enclosed spaces…what is the word?"

"Claustrophobia," Cessily said.

"Take it easy, Santo," Brian said, crouching beside his friend. "I'm pretty scared of spiders…you should have seen me and my neighbor back in Puerto Rico. We were playing with his XBOX and a  
big spider—about half a foot big—just walked up to us, casual as you please. We were on the couch, screaming like girls in seconds."

"Hey! Girls don't _always_ scream!" Nori snapped, waving her finger.

"I'm afraid of snakes," Cessily offered.

"I go nuts if I see a centipede," Josh said, rubbing his neck. "Mind you, I don't _scream, _I try to kill it. But I guess it counts."

Julian sighed and held back whatever he'd been going to say, holding his hand out to Santo, who reluctantly accepted.

"AHAHAHHA!" Suddenly they _all_ saw the clown—reflected a thousand times—pointing a gun.

_BAM!_

Julian reeled back and hit a mirror, wincing, a bullet now lodged in his shoulder. "'Kay—I'm—afraid—of clowns now—too," he gasped, reaching up to clap his gloved hand around the wound. His  
eyes widened as the mirror behind him gave way, and he fell backwards—into empty space.

**…**

"HOLY—where'd he—" Josh looked around; Santo was charging mirrors, smashing them into tiny shards of glass with his fists. "FUCK YOU AND YOUR POM POMS! COME OUT HERE, TURD!" he bellowed.

Cessily saw a gun peek out from behind a mirror—she grabbed Sofia and held up her arm just in time to deflect the bullet. Sofia shrieked in surprise, then traded a tentative smile with Cessily. "Thank you," she said.

"I guess you're in charge now," Kevin said. "What do we do?"

"Find him! I will use my wind!" Sofia rose into the air. "Cessily…form a shield around us. I am going to break the mirrors."

Cessily did so, surrounding the group with a _slurping_ noise; Sofia's eyes glowed white as tornados ripped through the room. The air was filled with the noise of tinkling glass; small spiderweb cracks  
formed in the middle of each mirror, quickly spreading throughout, and then the shards parted to join the whirlwind. "Too bad Julian's gone!" Josh yelled over the howl of the wind. "He'd have  
been perfect to keep us safe from this."

**…**

"The fuck," Julian panted and coughed, on his knees—in what looked like a video game. There was a solid green expanse in front of him, what he took to be simulated grass.

There was also a black gap—a hole. And a solid blue sky.

He looked around, confused, and realized there was no way out. He rubbed his wound absentmindedly, then got to his feet, thinking that he could only move forward.

It was then he realized he _couldn't—_his feet were locked in place.

"…"

**…**

"I wonder what they're all doing now," David said.

Laura stifled a yawn, watching Arcade pace back and forth through the glass, then her eyes widened. "Uh—Alleyne—what the hell are we doing?"

"Huh?"

She didn't answer, simply made a fist.

_Snkkt. _

"Huh?" David asked again. "But—we're supposed to wait—we're the goal."

"That's exactly it, don't you see? Why should _we_ play by the game?" Laura said, wiggling. Suddenly she stood up, grinning, and reached over for David's ties. "Any second now, Arcade's  
going to come into this room, guns blazing. Stand against the wall and let me handle him."

"How the hell—" David was flabbergasted.

"Easy. You never been tied up before?" Laura slipped her claws through David's bindings. They could hear the Arcade-bot yell as he caught sight of them. "Inhale, push your limbs away  
from the chair. I've been working myself free the whole time we were talking…or didn't you know that already?"

"No, I didn't. I don't know what you're thinking, Laura, you've got some kind of block that I can't—"

"Very clever!" Arcade spat, at the door.

"That's me," Laura said sweetly, ejecting her other set of claws.

**…**

"They're _everywhere!_" Cessily gasped, dropping the wall around her friends to reveal hundreds of clown bots. "They were inside the mirrors!"

"Oh shit," Josh said.

Santo made gurgling noises, rather like a dog with rabies.


	43. 11: BtA 6:6 field day part 2: endgame

**A/N: **You got it. I played Marvel Ultimate Alliance with my man over Christmas vacation, and some of the scenes in here showed up in there. Especially in this chapter,  
except I've described quite graphically what happens for the character experiencing the part. Quite a good game, I'd recommend it!

* * *

**  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "back to abnormal" 11 Issue: 6/6 )**

 **Chapter 123: field day pt 2: endgame ******

* * *

"Eww, I have springs stuck on my claws," Laura said, holding her fist up to the light and examining it as she nudged the body of Arcade with her foot.

"Holy," David said. It had been quite an epic battle, involving the chairs, the rope, the glass window, a grappling hook gun, and a pocket full of fire crackers. Laura's hair was now  
cropped short, as the explosion had burnt off her scalp. It had healed back and her healing factor was now working on restoring her glossy locks.

"Nothing holy about it," Laura said nonchalantly, wiping soot out of her eyes. "Come on, let's go find the others. We can use the control room."

**…**

Julian sat, staring at the hole in front of him and comparing it to the bleeding hole in his shoulder. It felt about the same size now, and twice as nasty. He folded his arms, sighed, and  
tried to think about what was going on. What could be causing his inability to move? Where had his friends gone? _Where had the door gone? _Had he finally snapped? Was he really sitting  
in the hall of mirrors, driven insane by the clowns? Or was it—

He coughed, looked at his shoulder, and his eyes widened. He pressed his fingers to the wound and drew them away, noting the distinct substance on his gloves. _Eww._ Quickly he  
withdrew a Kleenex from his pocket and dabbed at the hole, making a face of distaste. He hoped the bullet hadn't clipped his lung; it would make for awkward explanations to Laura  
and all else involved.

It was only later that he learned how long that shit stayed in a person's system—forever, literally. He'd learned it too late when he witnessed something he wished he could forget  
and seen a lung that had been exposed to the substance for years.

Julian wondered why it was coming out of him _now, _after all he'd stopped years ago, before coming here. Had the last one done it then? It had been quite a lot, granted—but surely  
not enough to push him over the edge. He hadn't done _that_ much before.

His eyes caught sight of the tattoo still on his forearm, exposed by his slightly rolled up sleeve, and he stared at it grimly. The Omega sign. _Didn't take much to do _him_ in,  
did it? _he reminded himself.

_But he was insane. It was a secondary mutation that killed him, they said so. _

Julian bit his lip. This would be a really, _really_ bad time for it to come back and bite him in the ass, his stupid teenaged mistake, now that he had people depending on him, and what the fuck,  
he depended on them too. He had friends, and a team, and Laura and the Shrimps…

_I won't let it, _he promised himself.

**…**

"Nori! Overwhelm them! I will keep the wind going!" Sofia shouted through the tornadoes. "Dust! Perhaps you should turn into sand!"

"They would be killed," Sooraya said. "I would be caught by your wind current and unable to reform myself."

"They're_robots!_" Nori shouted as she whipped by. "Icertainlywouldn'tmindifyou

chippedinandputadentintheirrankskthanksBYE!"

"Nori's right, Sooraya!" Cessily said, her abdomen forming a hole as a robotic clown jammed a drill-like limb through the section. "If they were _human,_ we'd actually care, but these aren't real!"

Sooraya hesitated.

"Just DO it, Sooraya!" Brian shouted. "I already proved to you that they're androids!" He'd tagged several teammates earlier, to no avail.

"They might have psionic training," Sooraya said.

"Look, _I'll_ prove it!" Kevin shouted, pressing a button on the palm of his glove and grabbing a clown in a neck-pinch. The clown responded by slamming the back of its skull against his chin; several  
things happened at once. Kevin stumbled back, his nose and mouth bleeding; Cessily screamed; and the Clown's white face paint hissed, curdled, and shiny steel shown through in gleaming  
patches to reveal skeletal features.

"I've got him!" Josh yelled, running towards Kevin. "For the love of god, stop getting hurt, _please._ It's painful to heal you…even through clothing."

Kevin rubbed his bloody nose.

"Please, Dust!" Sofia yelled.

Finally, Sooraya nodded, and for a moment she retained her human form, although it turned to sand, then exploded. Sofia's wind current swept through the compound, picking up the sand  
and hurtling towards the mass of clowns.

"Out of the way, guys!" Josh shouted, grabbing Kevin's sleeve and pulling him down. "That stuff will eat your face off worse than a dumb death touch!"

"My death touch isn't _dumb!_" Kevin yelled above the wind.

"Boys!" Cessily shouted, snaking around her friends in a protective dome.

"This is going to suck so much…I hope it doesn't ruin my hair…" she mumbled.

**…**

"Keller first," Laura said, examining the boy as he sat in the simulated environment, on Arcade's camera. The other camera was focused on a still picture of a street-fighter style  
gaming console, in an empty room.

"But—he's in the _least_ danger," David said.

"The most, Alleyne. He's wounded. The others are with Josh…they're not about to die. Besides, if we free Keller…we'll have his telekinesis to help us out, right? I think he's what  
we need for those effing clowns."

Laura whirled a pistol (which she'd taken from Arcade's body) around on her finger, then jammed it down the back of her uniform's pants. "Let's hit it."

"But—Nori!" David's voice had a pleading note to it.

"I promise, we'll get to her in time," Laura said seriously. "This thing with Keller will only take like two minutes. We just have to go to the console."

"That could take forever," David said.

Laura looked at the body of Arcade. "You mean—you didn't get it off him already? I'm pretty sure that's what the bluetooth receiver in his head was for." She sighed and headed  
over to the mangled remains. "Never mind…here." She yanked something out of the head; a small square blue piece, with a beeping light.

"Maybe if you hold it," she said.

"…" David took the device from her. "Oh—wow. I know. I know where it is. Wow, I didn't know they made _machines_ that could contact me telepathically….that's amazing!"

"They only made Cerebro like thirty years ago," Laura said airily as she headed for the door after David.

**…**

Julian was on his feet again, trying to relieve the cramps he was having, when he suddenly stumbled forwards and fell flat on his face. "Holy—"

**…**

"HAHAHA! I've never seen an avatar in a game do _that!_" Laura said, cackling. "Trust Keller to suck at everything, even when he's not in control! Oh, wow, I just had a like  
earth-to-me moment about how _weird_ this is…I'm playing my husband in a video game…"

"Concentrate," David warned her.

Laura was flicking the forward stick and watching the screen as the stick figure that represented Julian inched forwards. She pressed the jump button too late and the figure  
fell down the hole (they heard a faint cry from somewhere); a second later a ladder appeared and she moved the avatar towards it. It climbed hurriedly, moved off the screen,  
and the next view…was the same.

"This game sucks!" Laura said, kicking the pedestal.

"_Fucking—" _somewhere in the distance, Julian's voice.

"Wow," David said. "Is he _in_ that thing?"

"Who knows?" Laura said, sticking out her tongue and running the figure towards the hole. This time it jumped in time and proceeded to the next screen. After about five of this  
similar screens, the challenge changed to tiny, pixilated crocodiles, moving towards her avatar.

"_Son of a—" _Julian's voice, very faintly.

**…**

Julian stared in disbelief as suddenly a big hulking crocodile came into view. This _wasn't_ pixilated—this was very real. And very angry. He felt a flutter of fear—Laura _sucked_ at  
maneuvering him. Possibly on purpose. He'd figured out she was moving him after hearing her cackle and yell a few times, corresponding with him falling down the holes, quite painfully.

"Son of a—" he shouted.

He began to move forwards (even as he tried to avoid doing so); he leapt into the air as the huge crocodile snapped at his legs, and he landed inches beyond the tail. He expected  
it to whirl around and begin attacking, but it kept moving forwards in a linear path. The next crocodile was heading right for him. This time he jumped too late, and he screamed—a  
bloodcurdling noise—as the teeth snapped shut on him with a burst of pain—then suddenly he was back at the start of the screen, his nerves tingling slightly.

**…**

"WOOT!" Laura slammed her fist down on the console as the screen said _**WINNER- high score**_. "What did I win?!"

"Uh, _that?_" David asked, as the air in front of them suddenly split in pink light, and Julian tumbled out, covered in blood and coughing like crazy. He fell to his knees on the ground by  
Laura's feet and began to retch quite violently.

"HOLY—TAKE IT BACK, I DON'T WANT IT!" Laura shrieked, scrambling backwards. _"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" _

David was horrified, but also slightly amused at the same time.

"…" Julian sat up, grabbed himself frantically a few times (to convince himself that he was alive and in one piece), then threw himself at Laura (who was pinned against the console  
and helpless to escape).

"You killed me five times, asshole," he finally managed, his voice hoarse from yelling.

"Yeah, well, who _wouldn't,_" Laura said, patting his head awkwardly as he buried his face in her shoulder. "Look, we can admire how alive we are later, okay? Places to go, people to save."

Julian nodded, sniffled (he'd had a very traumatic experience; the crocodile had succeeded in tearing him in half once and he'd cried like a baby for a few minutes after, even during  
the next attack), and let her go.

"I think it's this way," David said.

**…**

"_**AIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**_" Cessily's body suddenly rebounded, as the cattle prong was withdrawn from her shell, and the angry, skeletal robot-clowns  
grinned down at those she'd been protecting.

Sofia, Nori, Laurie and Sooraya, as well as Jay, had long since been knocked unconscious and were being dragged away by their attackers, who looked quite murderous.

"Huh," Santo said calmly, leaning against a mirror. "That's weird."

The others stared at him.

"They don't scare me anymore," Santo said.

"Are you fucking _kidding?" _Josh asked, his eyes wide.

Santo batted away a clown hand with a bored expression. "It's kinda like…before, I was the only one that knew clowns were evil. Now it's all out in the open…you can all see their murderin',  
thievin' sons a' bitches…it's like a big weight's been taken off my chest."

"…" Josh stared at the boy. "You should ask Dr. McCoy for some pills or something, you freak."

"Don't have a digestive system," Santo grunted, grabbing an arm that was shoved in his face and bending it backwards. "Fuckin' clowns!"

"I guess this is goodbye," Brian said grimly.

"It's a simulation!" Cessily said, exasperated.

"How do _we_ know that, huh?" Josh said. "The last one wasn't! They probably _paid_ Nimrod to port in and—"

"He's a robot, retard," Cessily said. "He doesn't _need_ money."

"Well, goodbye to our X-men careers, anyway," Kevin said mournfully.

"Neither of you asshats could even protect your _girlfriend,_" Cessily said snidely. "You'd be highly pathetic X-men, in my opinion!"

"_Hey!" _Josh and Kevin responded at the same time, then glared at each other.

Cessily rolled her eyes. She knew what this was about—the same old thing.

There was suddenly a bustle of activity amongst the clowns—a few at the front turned. A green glow, followed by screeching metallic sounds—and then a loud noise. _BONK!_

A metal head flew over the rest and clattered to the ground amongst the stranded Squad members.

"TOUCHDOWN!" Laura shouted, appearing between the two robots in front, accompanied by her claws (which were protruding from the robotic skulls' eyes, to an eerie effect). She retracted them,  
and the bodies folded neatly to the ground, their hydraulic joints creaking loudly.

"_You're _a sight for sore eyes!" Cessily said happily, scrambling to her feet.

"Well, yeah, I guess their eyes _would _be a bit sore after that," Laura replied.

"See? _See?_" Julian demanded, sweeping robots out of his way. "I was gone five minutes and the team literally fell apart! This totally means I'm the pillar holding it together, right?"

"Whatever," Josh said, but he grinned.

**…**

"So, how do we get out?" Sofia asked, having been revived by Josh.

Julian looked up at the ceiling.

"Quickest way's usually up," he said.

**…**

They had just burst through the ceiling in a violent telekinetic event when their surroundings faded and left them floating in the middle of the Danger Room, the robotic lady telling them  
the simulation was over, and they had successfully completed all objectives.

"That was—" Laura started to say, then she noticed something odd. Julian was breathing quite shallowly. She looked up just in time to notice he had passed out, and that they were  
all hurtling to the steel floor.

_CRUNCH! THUD! THUD! CRUNCH! CRUNCH! _as the squad members impacted with the surface, protesting loudly. Laura rolled over to her stomach just as Julian fell on top of her, knocking  
the air out of her lungs with a squeak much like that of a mouse being caught in a trap.

"Holy," Josh gasped, scraping himself off the floor. The Danger Room doors _hsssed _open as the teachers ran in, grinning but looking worried.

"You okay, kid?!" Logan called, seeing Laura covered in soot and dark red stains with short-cropped hair and Julian sprawled unconscious on top of her.

She coughed and spat blood onto the floor.

"Look out," she gasped. "It's raining assholes!"

**…**

"That was a close one," Scott said. "But you really came through. I feel confident that you're going to win this competition."

Alone, in the Danger Room, he, Emma, and the Squad. All the wounds were healed.

"Thanks, sir," Julian said. "I really had my doubts there…that crocodile…"

Scott grinned. "_That_ was a little treat from your headmistress," he said.

Julian stared. "Huh?"

Emma smiled. "You performed admirably. I really didn't hold back…on the second-to-last-go, I seized your entire nervous system to create the illusion of being ripped in  
half. I was surprised that you continued."

"…" Julian looked upset. "Well, I kind of got the feeling that if I had, I dunno, _passed out, _my body would have kept jumping anyway. You two are sadistic bitches, pardon  
my French." He jerked a thumb at Laura.

Emma's smile didn't waver. Scott cleared his throat. "Keller, you can't talk like that to the hea—"

"Oh, _do _forgive him, this once," Emma said airily. "He's had a hard go of it. I didn't hold back at all. Besides, it's one of the things I like most about our dear Mr. Keller…even  
when he's trying to behave, he's so blaringly insolent."

Julian rolled his eyes. "So am I an X-man yet? Or is there like a final challenge? Polishing the Professor's head, maybe?"

"HAHAHHAA!" Laura found this amusing, throwing back her head and pig-snorting in a very loud and rude manner.

"…" Julian glanced at her, speechless.

Scott folded his arms, somewhat amused. "No, but there _is_ a final challenge. If you guys can do it…then you're definitely going to be our new X-men. By the way…I'm going to start  
sending you on a few little missions, starting this week. I think you've proved yourselves enough that you won't die if I let you go handle our recruiting."

"Oh," Sofia said, her eyes shining. "That sounds wonderful."

"Peachy keen," Laura said, trying to imitate her reverent tone and expression (and doing quite a good job). "Can we take toys to orphans as our first assignment? Please—"

Julian stepped on her foot, and Laura fell silent, aware that she had used this signal to him quite a few times herself.

Sofia looked away.

"Hardly," Emma said. "Your first assignment will be much more…interesting…than that. We're just as curious about what you can do as _you_ are, my darlings."

"Dismissed," Scott said. "Oh—and David—I'd hang on to that microchip if I were you. It's going to play a _big_ part in your final field day."

"…" David stared at the microchip in his hand.

**…**

"You look so weird," Julian mumbled, in bed.

"Huh?"

"Your hair," he said, running his fingers through the inch-and-a-half long locks. "I'm used to it being long."

"It'll grow back by the AM," Laura said, yawning.

"It looks kinda hot," he said, kissing the top of her head. "Too bad you can't keep it like that for a bit."

"Yeah, well, I can't do a lot of things," Laura said. "Can't get a tattoo either."

"Really?" Julian asked.

"The ink bubbles and drips out. I've tried. Logan told me he can't get one either. I used to get tramp stamps to impress guys." She grinned. "Piercings are a bitch too…they usually heal over."

"How'd you do yours, then?" Julian ran his fingers over her ear. In addition to her tongue, Laura had three hoops in each ear, a barbell through the top of her right, and a small glittering Monroe piercing.

"These are the results of millions of attempts," Laura said sleepily. "I pierced every day for a few years. Maybe my body just got used to being hurt there. If I took them out, they'd heal up again."

"Jesus," he said, stroking her hair. "You're crazy."

"Mmm." Laura was silent, then a snore ruptured the air, and moments later she was drooling on his chest.


	44. 12: fusion 1:3 literally on fire

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "fusion" 11 Issue: 1/3 )**

 **Chapter 124: literally on fire ******

* * *

"Emo queen," came the annoying, nasally voice from across the classroom.

James ignored it. It was that girl, Sylvia, who attended his brother's 'special ed' classes; when he'd complained about her, Julian had shared all sorts of special stories, usually  
ending with Sylvia ending up as the focus of laughter.

It made her easier to deal with.

James was not like his brother in this way; he could easily ignore mocking voices, insults, catcalls. He was quite set in his ways, and confident about _himself, _ therefore he had no  
need to be defensive. He reserved his surliness mostly for Julian and Laura.

He scribbled away at his notes. He'd taken off his gloves, knowing there was little risk of being touched here, at his desk. Every so often he'd lift his eyes from his notes and catch  
one of the Stepford Cuckoos glancing at him.

Her name was Mindee, and although he felt he should be majorly creeped out around these girls, he wasn't. At least, around Mindee. She was quite refreshing—she didn't _have _  
emotions. It was relaxing to talk to someone who felt nothing, as over the past weeks since acknowledging that he _did_ have powers, they had strengthened, tenfold.

Julian had implied that he'd 'experienced' the Cuckoos, and had encouraged his brother to go for it. James didn't like the idea of being close to anyone—he was having enough  
trouble as it was just existing; he didn't want to introduce the possibility of _feeling_ something _himself. _Emotions like that were disgusting and altogether too powerful—he was  
subject to them every day, even sitting in the kitchen, having a bowl of cereal, if the house owners were together in the household.

James tapped his pencil on the table and caught himself trading a small, uncommon smile with Mindee. She quickly looked away as her sisters glared at her. They hadn't spoken  
to him much; so far, he was of the impression that they liked him, but were wary. Their trust had been betrayed too many times, too—and they were wary of losing what they had left.

**…**

"SLOW DOWN NATE!" Julian yelped, see the boy dive head-first to catch the Frisbee. He was nervous because his son was about twenty feet from him and fifty feet in the air,  
as was he. They had progressed to hurling a soft Frisbee between them; Julian had been hit in the face just once by the hard plastic Frisbee, but that had been enough for him.

"Hey!" Laura called from the ground, shading her eyes against the sun. "How about you let the girls play, you dirty cheats? AHHH PUT ME—"

Julian gave her an evil grin. "Relax, beautiful…I won't break you," he said, gliding over. Rachel had flown up on her own, and was now holding the Frisbee in her small  
hands, studying it inquisitively.

"Effing TK's," Laura said helplessly.

"Thwow it Wae!" Nate called.

_**FWOOSH! **_The Frisbee hurtled in a yellow cloud towards Julian, who already had his hands full lift Laura and himself. He grabbed her around the waist instead,  
leaving her to catch the projectile.

"Asshat! Uses _me_ as a meat shield!" Laura yelled, outraged.

Julian put his lips against her ear and whispered something to her.

"Why do you want mum-boobs, Joo?" Nate asked, looking confused.

"Joo need to eat too?" Rachel suggested logically. The Shrimps were still under the impression that Mum was the ultimate provider of food.

There was a strained silence. "Um," Julian said. "They're _twenty feet away. _How the _hell _did they—"

Laura folded her arms. "Way to go, Keller."

They both knew this wouldn't be the last they heard of this.

**…**

"Your first mission!" Emma said with a dazzling smile. "Children, I am _so_ proud of you! You've done _so_ well against all the nasty little challenges we've thrown at you, haven't you darlings?"

Julian always had the impression that Emma was speaking to a dog when she addressed his squad this way, but he kept silent. He wondered if Laura had ever had this thought, and  
resolved to ask her later.

"You are going to take your pride of the Xavier school—"

"—up the ass," Laura murmured. Julian was hard-pressed not to laugh.

Emma shot a glare at her. "—and share it with _another. _Yes, today, my darlings, you are going to recruit a new mutant!"

Silence.

Julian cleared his throat. "Miss Frost—er—you said it would be a _challenge._"

Emma laughed airily. "Oh, yes, it _will_ be. I will award bonus points if you are successful in your endeavor. Here is your mission outline—" a manila folder was held towards Julian; he accepted  
it skeptically. "—and the X-wing is prepped and ready. Yes, darlings, the _real _one."

"As opposed to an imaginary one, so we could _pretend_ to go find this person," Laura said in a reasonable, agreeable tone.

"Miss Keller, do you have a problem?" Emma asked sharply.

"No ma'am, she doesn't," Julian said. "I suspect the tranquilizers just wore off. Don't worry, I'll give her another dose before we leave."

"Fuck you, ass-kissing suck up," Laura mumbled, rolling her eyes.

"Children!" Emma rebuked. "Codenames on the field!"

**…**

The flight was smooth and unremarkable; the landing even smoother. The team split up into groups, with Dani (who had accompanied them) remaining in the X-wing as their communications base.

She dictated the pairs; Sofia and Cessily, Sooraya and Laurie, Julian and Santo, Josh and Brian, Laura and Nori, and finally Jay with David and Kevin.

Julian opened the file and stared at the sheet of paper. "Holy shit…she's a pyrokinetic," he said.

"That means she does something with fire, right?" Laura asked.

"Right," David said. "That means she can create and manipulate fire. Not all pyrokines can _make _it…but from what I'm getting from Julian right now…that's what the file says."

"Codenames, people," Julian reminded him. They'd been rebuked several times that week for not using codenames in simulations, and he wasn't eager to rock to boat at this particular moment.

Laura rolled her eyes, ever the non-conformist.

"Candace Burns," Julian read, looking at the file. "What an ironic name. She looks like a sour puss, too."

"That's great," Nori said. "Well—let's get going. I have a big assignment to work on, and the sooner we're home, the better."

"This _should _be easy," Julian said. "All you do is track down the smoke, X. Right?"

"It'd be better if I had a real _scent _to work with," Laura said.

"She's likely to be the only one in this area," Nori said. "When _I_ was a street girl, the bums feared off quickly when they saw my powers. If she's out-of-control like I was…then she's  
bound to have given them a demonstration already, right?"

"Right," Julian said simply. Nori waited for him to make a jab about her being a homeless bum, but it never came. He seemed to be keeping to the pact.

They split up.

**…**

"I can't believe you let Ashida get away with the street waif story," Santo grumbled, later as he and Julian sifted through some blackened rubble they'd found. "Is there something  
you're not telling me? Do you have like a brain tumor or something?"

"Yeah," Julian grumbled, pushing a board aside. "I call it Laura. It's such a fucking pain in my ass. Er, head."

"Hah!" Santo found this amusing.

"Seriously, though, we _have_ to work with them now, right? Before it was different…we were competing, they were the losers. Now it's up to _us_ to make _them_ winners too, or they'll drag  
us down with them." Julian nudged a burnt newspaper with his boot. "Doesn't mean I'm not _thinking_ things about them…but if we want to be X-man we've got to play it smart. You did  
figure out most of the riles I used to get you guys up to was all to give you guys the keen edge of competition, right?"

"Sorta," Santo admitted. "It was fun, though. I miss it."

"Pick on someone else," Julian grinned.

"They tell me to find someone my own size."

"Plenty of that at the school," Julian pointed out. "There's Colossus…well, he's a teach so I dunno…hey, there's that Onyxx guy, he's hella weird."

"I like Onyxx," Santo grumbled. "He's cool. So was Glob Herman, before he became one of those _douchebag_ Omega-kids. I was pretty mad about you hanging around with them, too,  
till I found out you were foolin'."

"Yeah, well, sometimes you have to do shit," Julian said. He glanced at the arm with the tattoo, his expression grim.

**…**

"Wait up!" Nori called, as Laura hurried towards a charred building, focused on a scent.

"You have enhanced speed, use it," Laura said tersely, studying the structure.

"I don't want to waste a charge," Nori panted, watching as Laura leaned forwards and pushed on the outer wood plank surface. "Is she in there?"

Laura took a moment to answer. "No. But she was." The house creaked slightly under the pressure of her hand. "She stayed here a while, look at how weak the frame is. She burnt a lot of it down."

"I'm surprised that she hasn't been caught, like, by S.H.I.E.L.D. or something," Nori said. "She's done quite a bit of damage."

"Mmm." Laura turned away.

Nori paused. "Look, if your being quiet is about that comment I made…"

Laura didn't answer, inhaling through her nose (presumably for scents, but Nori wasn't sure).

"I'm sorry," Nori said. "I just don't like Keller. He's never treated me decently, and I get this agitated feeling about him, even when he's not saying anything mean. Like he's some kind of predator  
and I have to be on my toes. I wish I liked him, for your sake…I even _tried_ to like him, and for a little while I guess I fooled myself into believing it…but I can't, okay?"

"You can't _try_ to like a person," Laura said. "You either do, or you don't."

Silence. Both girls had stopped walking.

"Well—we agreed to not say anything to each other, anymore," Nori said. "Maybe that will help a bit. In the long run, though, I'll probably transfer off the team as soon as we're X-men."

Laura smiled. "I could care less," she said.

Nori stared.

"The squads don't concern me," Laura added. "I don't know if I'll even participate in X-men things when we graduate. I…I like my family, what I've made, and I'd rather spend time with them." She  
didn't elaborate on the thought that was stuck in the back of her mind: _while I have them. _

"Oh," Nori said. She grinned slightly. "Well…I guess it's no skin off your back then. I'm glad you're not upset…I've always thought you were cool."

"Thank you," Laura said. "I think you're cool too."

_Creek. _

Laura whipped around and sniffed. "But she's not, and she's just entered a building two blocks from here."

**…**

The two girls ascended the staircase, following Laura's nose (Nori giggled over the thought that it was like following Sam the Toucan from the fruitloops commercial) into a bedroom. The interior  
was pitch-black, as the building was in the shade, and the walls and floor—and even the ceiling—were thoroughly burnt.

Laura stood at the doorway and peered in for a while.

"Candace?" she said finally.

Nori tried to see in the darkness, but the room looked uninhabited to her.

"Go away," came a small, bitter, English-accented voice from the far corner.

_Now_ Nori could make her out too; it was difficult because her skin and bird's-nest of hair were black, thoroughly smeared with charcoal. She appeared to be naked, probably having burnt off all her clothes.

"No," Laura said. "We're here, to help."

The girl grinned, and her teeth were bone-white in her black face, quite startling. "I'll set you on fire. There's no possible way you can help me."

"Listen, I was like you," Nori said, eager to assist. "I can absorb electricity, and release it in big charges. I was _totally_ out of control when this place found me, like you. It's called Xavier's, and—"

The girl laughed. "Darling…that's not the problem here."

Nori and Laura stared at her.

"I'm totally _in_ control of my powers," Candace said. "The problem is, I _like_ using them too much." As she spoke, flames began to lick up in the room around her. The doorway crackled and burst into  
fire; the two girls jumped back in alarm, their eyes wide.

"Holy shit!" Nori babbled. "Frost sent us after a pyro_maniac!_"

"Calm down," Laura said, taking off her jacket. "Here, hold this. I don't trust that Emma will let me have another if I wreck it." She passed it to Nori, squared her shoulders, and marched into the room.

**…**

"_**HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY****!**_" Nori's voice, over the communicator. "**KELLER**, get the **FUCK** over here! She's a crazy bitchandshegotLauraandsheisn'thealingrightohmygodwhereisJoshwhen—"

Julian stopped. "Huh? Whoa—slow down—what about Laura?"

**…**

"Hold him back!" Josh said. "I need to get to her! God damn, that's a bad burn—she's fried like a crisp—what the hell did that girl _do_ to her?"

Nori was crying. "She—the fire was _white_, Josh, and blue—it looked like it was taking her apart and then—"

Josh pressed his hands against Laura's shiny red-and-black forehead. "It's okay, look at me…I'm going to help your healing factor out, give it a boost."

"Nnnng," Laura said through her teeth. She was missing lips at the moment, and her eyes were quite wide as there were no lids. Even the tip of her nose had been burnt off, giving her a  
skeletal appearance. She had extremely severe burns—at least third degree—all over her body, the worst at her torso, throat and face. She looked like a piece of meat that had roasted for  
hours in the oven, and even worse, some of the wounded tissues were dry and brittle, to an almost mummified effect.

"_I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T—_" Julian, in the background, his voice muffled by Santo's hand (which was covering his face). Initially he'd resisted his friend's hold, but seeing as Josh was  
trying to work, he'd relented to the point of not using his telekinesis to fight restraint.

"Yeah, yeah," Josh said, reaching in with his powers.

It was very difficult to heal her. The outer layers of her body were dead, but he reached deeper, finding the living cells inside. He could feel it—her healing factor, struggling to push outwards—he  
grasped the stem cells in her bones and began to stimulate them, sweat rolling down his forehead.

Laura was glowing golden so brightly that the energy cast off was almost white in appearance; the blackened areas of skin began to crackle as they were pushed upwards and out by the new  
epidermal layers. Her facial features began to reform, and after about two minutes of solid healing Laura sat up, gasping for air, the thick crust of black flaking away in patches.

"Arrgh!" Santo let go of Julian and held his hand, which was glowing green; the latter ran to the girl's side and dropped to his knees, examining her critically. "_Holy fuck!_" he said, on the verge of  
hysteria. "I'm _going_ to kill Frost, I swear!"

Dani grimaced in anger. "Not if I get to her first. I don't understand what she was _thinking, _sending you after someone who literally cremate someone alive!"

Laura was silent, obviously traumatized. She'd seen her life flash before her eyes in a deafening whir of flame. She let Julian crush her against his chest without comment, not even  
blinking (although she had eyelids again).

A few flakes of black drifted to the ground.

Sofia glanced at Nori, who was still crying with a similar traumatized look.

"I think…that we are ill prepared to handle this situation," she said.

Nori nodded, her chin dented as she struggled to stop the tears.


	45. 12: fusion 2:3 mosaic

**

* * *

  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "fusion" 11 Issue: 2/3 )**

 **Chapter 125: mosaic ****  


* * *

**

**Day 2**

"Feel any better?" Julian asked, setting down a tray of food and eyeing the girl on the bed, who was still in a semi-catatonic state. She blinked now, but didn't  
respond to his efforts to reach her.

Dr. McCoy had recommended keeping her in a familiar surrounding. Her body had healed entirely; she was supposed to, regardless, enjoy a day of bed rest and  
drink plenty of fluids to restore what had evaporated. Julian had brought various water and juices and put them on the table, even some electrolyte fluid which  
had taken him a while to find at the grocery store.

Laura didn't look like she was enjoying herself much. This was the second day now, and she was still unresponsive, straight faced. He didn't think he'd ever seen  
her stay without an expression for so long, as she was a bundle of mixed up, unsorted emotions, a storm.

"Shrimps miss you," he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed and taking her hand. "Look…I know it was traumatic…believe me, Frost made me feel like an  
alligator ripped me in half and…uh…yeah, it was painful."

Silence.

"Jim hates you, you know. He said thanks to you, he now knows what PTSD feels like. He said a bunch of other stuff, then he stormed out and slammed the door  
so hard that the picture you always measure fell on me."

Silence.

"Earth to asshole," he tried.

Nothing.

He picked up the bowl of scrambled eggs he'd made her and began to spoon it into her mouth, drawing on his memories of feeding the Shrimps. She made very little  
effort to accept it, but did swallow, after a while.

**…**

**Day 4**

"This sucks," Julian said to Logan, who had joined him by Laura's bedside. "One mission goes bad and she snaps, literally. I mean…it wasn't _that_ bad, right? Just some  
burning." Julian knew he was understating this very severely, but he was frustrated with Laura for not being her usual self.

"Sure," Logan said. "I've gotten burnt lots. Hell, I've had my skeleton dipped in a vat of acid…and something like five cells got away. An' here we are, huh?"

Julian stared at him.

"It was a joke, kid. I seriously doubt I could do that." Logan rubbed his hair. "Damn clone, nothin' but a magnet fer trouble…have ya taken her to Frost for a little tune-up job yet?"

"No!" Julian said. "I'm mad at _her_. She sent us out in the field without knowing all of the facts, and people got hurt."

Logan sighed. "Kid…most a' the missions we do as X-men…are like that. We don't _know_ the facts—it's like algebra. We know one variable and figure out the rest. Sometimes we  
don't even have that. And people _die_ on missions, get used to it." He gave Julian a grim smile. "You can't accept that, then yer in the wrong business, and you better get out while you're still intact."

Julian stiffened. "Maybe I am," he said. "I can't handle that. You didn't _see_ her."

"No, kid, but I've seen a lot of things no one _should_ have to see. A lot of them were things happening to other people—innocent people—things that shouldn't happen to no one, ever. Like  
your girl here." Logan nodded to Laura. "When the X-men got to her…she was a tiny, five-year-old girl that had the voice of a robot and said 'What is the mission?' over and over, like a  
parrot. The things I saw on the tapes…the place that made her kept records…they made me glad I was an X-man, so I could kill the fuckers. Yeah, I killed 'em, and I'd do it again."

Julian looked at Laura on the bed and was silent. At that moment he was frustrated with Logan, too, for his philosophies.

"Mull it over, kid." Logan stood up. "You'll make the right decision."

**…**

**Day 6**

"Bring her back, please," Julian said to Frost, his hands on Laura's shoulders to keep her standing upright. She stared straight ahead, into space. "From wherever she went."

They were in Frost's office, with the woman herself seated behind her desk, her eyebrows arched as she surveyed her students.

"Why?" Frost asked. "Why should I help you, after you so bluntly informed me that _you_ would never help _us_ again?"

"This isn't about me," Julian said, his teeth gritted. "It's about Laura. You _know_ this isn't right, stop playing games, Frost." He deliberately left off the _Ms. _

Emma looked cold. "_Mister_ Keller, I am not playing a 'game'. I am merely asking you how I will benefit from this transaction. Especially after…" she left the words dangling in mid-air;  
and Julian knew what she was talking about.

He'd said some irreversible words.

"I'm still mad as hell at you," he said fiercely. "But I talked to someone, who gave me some good advice. He said this isn't about me, this is about helping others…so while I don't  
agree with what you did, I think I understand _why_ you did it. Now you can make things right by helping _her._"

Emma nodded. "That is fair," she said after a moment, surprising him. "Please, seat her in front of the desk. It may take me a while to 'find' her…remain silent during this endeavor."

Julian complied, and soon Laura was sitting, her back ramrod straight in the chair, as Emma leaned over and held her hands to the girl's temples. She closed her eyes and began.

**…**

She was dreaming.

It was a very bad dream.

Or she was living, and the _other_ world was all an elaborate dream. She wasn't sure. A man was causing pain in her arms, sharp stabs of pain that slowly grew into fireballs. He smiled behind  
a surgical mask and whispered things, mean things, as she arched off the table, her toes curling, her teeth locked together. Spots swam before her eyes and she thought she might be flying.

She didn't understand many of the things the man said—she didn't know a lot of words yet, not those big, complex ones Dr. Kinney told her soothingly did not concern her. They weren't an  
objective, there was no _need_ for her to understand such words, so she wasn't taught.

Laura longed to, yearned to, know, to understand. _Everything. _She didn't want to be told she was too small, or too simple, or just a weapon. She didn't want to hear it wasn't her objective.

This was the situation that she had been born into, that she had been created for. She was the world's most intelligent weapon; at five years old, she was beginning to be aware that she  
was worth a million dollars a pound. That didn't mean she was treated like it, though.

A barren white cell, with the heat cranked up to twice that of room temperature. Three times a day, a small, sterile meal pushed through the door flap. At six o' clock each morning, her  
handler—Kimura—came through the door, with a bright smiling mouth, but hate-hardened eyes. It hurt. At five years old, she weighed about 18 kilograms, and was skin and bones—and  
wiry muscle. She found herself dashed against the concrete wall every morning, her head snapping back and her empty green eyes focused on the ceiling as Kimura screamed things at her.

She was stupid, she was dumb, she was nothing at all. She was the gum on the bottom of her shoes, the mould in her toilet, a piece of worthless, rotten meat. _SLAP! _Usually around this time  
Kimura would hold her shoulder in a talon-like grip, the unbreakable nails of her hand biting into the flesh; and her other hand would repeatedly batter the girl's face, leaving stinging marks.

"YOU'RE JUST A CLONE!" Kimura screamed. "YOU'RE NOT A GIRL SO DON'T YOU DARE CRY!"

Someone hadn't loved Kimura very much as a child, she sensed this. At three, she knew this. At four, she thought this. By five, she wasn't sure what love was. She had an idea, a feeling,  
that it might have something to do with Dr. Kinney's glances at her, but she didn't know anymore.

After breaking a few limbs—sometimes all of them—Kimura would leave her alone in a broken, bloody heap, clawing quietly at the ground and thinking things she'd never say because she  
didn't know the words. The only tears in her eyes were tears of pain. After a while, there were no thoughts, no tears, only acceptance. She'd been a bad clone and would have to be better tomorrow.

_What is a clone? _She wondered. She didn't understand, until much later, that she wasn't even _real. _Later, she would understand the joke. Later, when she thought she _was_ real.

Drowning. A little at a time. Orange fluid, bubbling around her bulging eyeballs, as she screamed underwater. She blacked out every time. Her hair was always wet, always stringy. The chemical  
that made the fluid orange stripped the shine from it. Lying on a board, she stared up into a syringe, her limbs tethered, as it was dripped onto her forehead. The worst was when they forced her  
to drink it, gallons and gallons, till her insides ached in protest. If she didn't swallow, she began to suffocate.

Now she was on a street corner, fifteen, a cigarette between her fingers as she watched a man that was whispering the exact same things to her that _he_ had, Mr. Surgical Mask.

She knew, now, that his name was Rice.

"Fuck you too," she said, blowing smoke in his face. "Ten dollars to enter Disneyland or you're not getting in."

"Stupid whore," the man spat at her. He was dirty—on at least two different chemicals—not even attractive, but she wanted the money. Sarah wasn't giving her money anymore, and she couldn't  
buy _anything. _No Everclear, no Players, no happy-face pills which she went through like candy. _Nothing. _She barely had enough to buy rubbing alcohol, which tasted like shit but worked almost as good as booze.

She needed money, and pain, not because she needed to feel emotions, as people thought. It was only routine, nothing more. She needed to feel her insides groan every day, she needed to be told  
she was bad, she needed to be hurt and cut and told she was stupid, so she would know everything was okay. She had Stockholm Syndrome, but perhaps it should have been renamed for her. Clone Syndrome.

The ten dollars was in her hand, but she'd forgotten it because she was on fire, white hot fire that ate her alive and it burned and it was—

**…**

"Goodness," Emma said, her eyes opening.

Laura made a small noise and turned her head away, her nose wrinkled. She'd felt the foreign presence and hadn't liked it…it took the fire away…she blinked in confusion, her eyes slowly focusing.

"Hi." Julian, sounding worried and anxious.

Emma pursed her lips. "She requires more rest. A quiet surrounding. She…her brain is infected, or so it would seem. Perhaps it was damaged in the attack." She held up her hand at Julian as his mouth opened.

"She will heal. She already is. Her healing factor is there, working steadily. I would say that perhaps even tomorrow she will be her normal self. For now, she's…in a trance, an automatic state  
caused by her healing factor to conserve energy towards healing. Mr. Keller…I would like a word with you, when she is recovered."

Julian looked at Emma tersely. "Okay. Come on, Laura…"

**…**

"You okay?" Julian asked, for the millionth time. She'd begun to respond to words, around the late afternoon; she didn't seem to _recognize _him, but she sometimes acknowledged his presence.

"Fine," Laura replied, in a lack-luster tone, standing in the kitchen in her housecoat and slippers, her hair still a mess. She was holding a kettle in her hands, examining it dully; the disturbing thing  
(to Julian) was that it was 3 AM, and he'd woken up to an empty bed.

"Want to—"

"No."

Laura tilted the kettle and studied the spout.

"Seriously, you're freaking me out. At least tell me you're planning on _using_ it," Julian said, rubbing the back of his head, his brow wrinkled.

"Not so much." Laura dropped the kettle with a clang on the kitchen floor and opened a drawer, then began to rummage.

"Look, _I_ want to talk," Julian said firmly. "You seriously don't look okay."

Laura looked at him, popped her claws, gripped a chunk of her hair and with a swift motion, sawed it off, then let it go. The black strands fell to the floor.

"Whoa, whoa, stop." Julian held up his hand. "What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?"

"Doing it myself," Laura said.

"Doing _what_ yourself?" he asked.

"Punishing," Laura said, her voice monotonous. "I've been a bad clone today."

Her hand scrambled in the drawer behind her and picked up a metal spatula.

"No," Julian said. "Stop it. Go to bed."

_**SMACK! **_He watched in astonishment as she hit herself across the face. The grills of the implement left white, slowly reddening marks on her cheek.

"I'll be better tomorrow," Laura said wistfully. "I will not let anyone leave alive. I will ensure the fire spreads and is not contained. I will kill my target."

_**SMACK!**_

"Stop it!" Julian shouted, grabbing her wrist.

She burst into tears and dropped the spatula. It made a loud noise.

"Laura…come here," Julian said gently, pulling her towards him, feeling like crap. Wherever she was, it wasn't a pretty place, and it was his fault she'd ever been taken there, all his  
fault. He'd made her come back…he'd made her play X-man and then he'd let her get hurt, he hadn't been there to make sure she was safe and now she was broken…he felt like asking  
her for the spatula himself, but it was up to him to be the sane one here. So he held her as she swayed back and forth, her eyes staring off into space again as she hallucinated.

Her skin was hot with fever.

"I love you," he said.

**…**

"Holy…" Laura groaned, holding the rim of the toilet bowl.

The fever had broken at 9 the next morning, and she'd begun to be lucid; however, she was now violently ill.

After a while she straightened and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "We should put some stickers on this thing. And maybe an air freshener." Laura flushed the appliance and  
staggered to her feet to rejoin Julian in the bedroom, her face pale but finally _alive _again.

"Are you saying you plan on using it more in the future?" Julian asked.

"Mmm. HEY! Now that you're rich, you could get me one of those Japanese toilets…with all the fancy settings. Seat warmer, adjustable seat, reversible flush in case I want to pretend  
I'm in Australia where the water goes the other way…"

Julian rolled his eyes. "Or I could just take you there for _real_," he pointed out.

"Oh." Laura sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at her hands.

He put a hand on her back. "Don't think about it, okay? I know it's hard…put it behind you. The Shrimps are crazy to see you again, they fought Logan when he came to take them."

Laura smiled slightly, her nose wrinkling. "Did Nate pull his hair?"

"You know it. He actually made Logan yelp, after all that training the guy does in self-defense about taken pain quietly."

"HAH!" Laura seemed slightly brighter. "I love that kid."

"So do I." Julian patted her shoulder. "Want some eggs, or will you barf them up again?"

"I don't know," Laura said. "Maybe you should add some food coloring. The vomit might look prettier then. Jeez, it's making me nostalgic."

At that comment, Julian stared at her, his eyes wide. "Huh?"

Laura caught his heart skipping a bit and grinned slightly. "Not _that._ My good drunk days, idiot."

"Oh," Julian said. "Thank god. Er…I'll go make eggs now."


	46. 12: fusion 3:3 imploding

**A/N: **Thanks for reviews! In answer to your question, polarisdane, there are definitely 2 more volumes of Helix as we know it, then at least one epilogue-volume (maybe more). I have **a lot** planned. The story planned for here is possibly bigger than anything that I've read yet in comics...I've been hatching the plot like an egg for about a year now. I keep adding to it and working things out in my head. The first 2 volumes of regular Helix were a bit slower, when I was just putting pieces together, but about a quarter of the way through volume 3, I figured out exactly what was happening and were the story was going. I'm a good way through Volume 4 already, and it is _a lot_ faster paced, with more of an X-force feel. Emma Frost was right...dark times are a-comin'! Well, no duh, I did write Emma saying that so obviously they are coming. Hopefully there'll be enough readers sticking around to enjoy it. I know I sure enjoyed writing it =)

And zackslacker18: thx for review! I never stopped Helix and will not stop till its done, just slowed down a bit for the most hectic summer course I've ever taken (Chemistry 12 part 2) with a terrible teacher. I was getting about 2 hours sleep a night and that was just with me keeping up with assignments (I took Physics and Math at the same time). Although I'm going to be working more as well as going to school, this fall term will be hopefully a bit more relaxed and allow for more storytellinghappyhappyjoyjoytime as it is less condensed than summer courses. Holy overwhelming, Batman!

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "fusion" 12 Issue: 3/3 )**

 **Chapter 126: imploding ******

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" Julian asked, worried.

"If you're going, so am I. If someone sets _you_ on fire, you're not coming back…I'm not taking that risk."

"Okay."

"Okay."

They looked up at the Danger Room door, and unconsciously reached for each other's gloved hands, in need of support.

Inside, the team was just as agitated. Everyone kept looking at Laura like they expected her to still be on fire. Nori looked away, the only one to do so; from her  
expression, it was obvious she was seeing it all again, scene by scene.

"Children," Emma Frost said, but she didn't sound like she was addressing a dog this time. She was more serious. "Your performance in the last mission was…disappointing."

Julian's grip on Laura's hand tightened considerably; he was angry.

"However, I am impressed that you are all here today," Emma added. "Therefore you are still in first place, for the running. Yes, even despite some stronger words directed at  
me by some of the students." She looked at Julian, and surprisingly at Sofia, who stared back at her firmly.

"Alright, enough idle chatter. We have training to do," Emma said.

**…**

"Is she going to fill the house with emo?" James asked, his voice sour and suspicious as he looked at Laura, but his words were to Julian. He'd just entered the house, his book  
bag hanging haphazardly off one shoulder.

"I'm _right here,_" Laura said snidely, folding her arms, the very spatula she'd smacked herself with in one hand, but now it was covered in sauce from the meal she was cooking. "And  
I could ask the same of you. Except I already _know_ you're going to."

"…" James opened his mouth to start swearing.

"Please, guys," Julian said, holding an icepack over his face as he sat at the kitchen table. The only part of his features visible were his mouth and chin, and they were set in a deep  
frown. "I'd appreciate it if you could, like, go outside to be assholes. Thanks."

"You should really go see Dr. McCoy, Keller," Laura said, distracted. "I don't think telekinetics are supposed to be in pain _every_ day."

"This is nothing," Julian said dismissively. "You obviously didn't spend much time with Mrs. Grey-Summers, if you think that. She'd, like, lift a paperclip and pass out for hours."

Laura wrinkled her nose. Julian sensed this.

"Fine, _maybe _it was the Blackbird, but still…"

"You just lifted _yourself_ today," Laura nagged. James unzipped his jacket and threw it on the floor, heading towards his bedroom.

"WHOA, WHOA, come back here! What the _hell_ was that?!" Laura gasped, pursuing, holding the jacket up by its sleeve. "My god, are you a caveman? _Hang it up!_ The hook is there for a _reason!_"

Julian shifted, the icepack crackling, and watched her chase after James, snarling viciously. A vigorous scolding ensued, then James hung the coat on Laura's head and slammed  
his bedroom door in her face.

"…" Laura pounded on his door, yelling.

"Grrr," Julian said, slapping the icepack down on the table. "The Shrimps are better behaved than you two, Jesus!"

Laura tossed the jacket on the sofa. "So, I didn't forget what we were talking about. You, and your migraines. I'm not comfortable with you have brain problems, Keller! At least sign the  
property over to me first."

"Says Ms. Brain _Infection_," Julian pointed out. He ducked the sofa-pillow Laura hurled at his head.

"Fucking--! We're talking about my _head_ hurting! Don't throw things at it!"

"Can't help it…makes a good target," Laura said, grinning. "And watch the language. There are young, impressionable ears present."

"I know. You'll do just about anything bad someone suggests," Julian grumbled. "Got to watch it round you."

Laura sighed. "Keller…go see Dr. McCoy. Please. This isn't normal. That, and the fact that you cough twenty-four seven without having emphysema."

"I told you, it's allergies."

"Unless you're allergic to Oxygen, I highly doubt it," Laura said, wrinkling her nose. "You coughed all winter—not a flower in sight—you coughed in spring—you coughed in summer. It's not  
even temperature related, it's just all the time. In your sleep, too."

"Maybe it's from a cold I never got over. I had a bad one like a month before I met you…could be that."

"Keller—things that last _this long _are usually serious…TB, asthma…what if it's Cancer?" She looked concerned. "You need to get it checked out now, while you can still _do_ something about it."

Silence. Julian kept the icepack pressed to his forehead.

"KELLER!"

"Alright, fine, Jesus," he said, figuring she would forget. Or he could make excuses later. Something like that.

He was sure as hell _not_ having his lungs checked out and having everything exposed and brought to light again.

**…**

Julian hung his head, waiting outside Dr. McCoy's office, head bowed. Laura had _not_ forgotten, and the nagging had been day and night. She'd begun to wake him up _at night_ to nag. Last night  
had torn it—he'd never known anyone so stubborn. He didn't think even Logan was stubborn to that degree.

So he found himself outside Beast's office, his face pale, as he thought of how he was going to approach this.

The door opened, and Dr. McCoy peered out. "Ah," he said, appearing vaguely surprised. "Is this an emergency?"

"No," Julian said, for once.

"Very good." The doctor smiled slightly and motioned him in. "Seeing as you are alone, I predict this visit would be either about yourself or Laura." The doctor was standing by the filing cabinet,  
one drawer pulled open, his paws poised over the files.

"Me," Julian said.

Dr. McCoy's digits selected the appropriate file. "How I wish I had a secretary. I was considering hiring one of the students, but I realized this might violate confidentiality…I cannot trust that there would not be gossip."

"Heh," Julian said. "Yeah, it's pretty hard to keep things quiet around here."

"Sometimes I think even the plants talk to each other," Dr. McCoy said, placing his file on the desk. "So, Mr. Keller…how are your headaches?"

"Pretty bad," Julian said. "They've gotten worse and worse…especially after I got shot in the head. Last time you said that maybe that effed up some connections or something…"

Dr. McCoy studied his file. "Goodness, it's been eight months since I've seen you for a check-up, Mr. Keller. I should be seeing you every _two_ with the kind of medications I've prescribed you."

Julian grinned guiltily. "Yeah, well."

"_Not_ 'yeah, well'. This is serious business, Mr. Keller…this is your head. And you are telling me that the headaches are even worse?"

"Kinda. It's mostly after practice, actually."

"I see." Dr. McCoy flipped the page, scanned it, then began to write with a pencil. "After using your telekinesis?"

"Yes," Julian said.

"Do you have a headache _while_ you use it?"

"Kinda. Well, it depends what I'm lifting."

"Are larger objects more strenuous?"

"No," Julian said. Dr. McCoy looked up. "Did you say 'no'?"

"I did," Julian confirmed. "I…it's hard to lift big stuff, sure, but it's getting harder, in comparison, to lift small things. I feel better lifting a car than, say, a paperclip. I can _do_ it, but I get a sharp  
pain in my temples if I do it for long."

"Interesting," Dr. McCoy said. "I haven't heard of this before…the telekinetics I've known have found smaller objects easier." He paused. "Julian, I would like for you to visit the Professor about this development."

Julian was surprised. "Alright," he said.

"Anything else I can assist you with?" Dr. McCoy asked as he continued to scribble.

Julian hesitated. "No."

"One moment." The Doctor closed his eyes. "The Professor said he has time now, if you would meet him in his office."

**…**

"Please come in," the Professor said, smiling at Julian as he peered into the enormous, cavern-like study. Here he was—the founder of the X-men, the man that knew everyone so well,  
although they knew little about him.

Julian had only met the Professor about four times before. The most time he'd spent was the first time he'd met him, boasting loudly about what he could do, trying to impress him. For the  
first time, at this moment, he realized, in a very defined, final manner, what a dumb kid he'd been, and that he wasn't that kid anymore.

"Hi, sir," Julian said, stepping in.

"Have a seat." The Professor gestured to an empty chair before the great oak desk, and Julian complied. "How is your family?" Xavier asked.

"Good, I guess," Julian said. "Laura just got over a brain infection…" his voice trailed off as he realized how badly he had worded his sentence. He'd made 'brain infection' sound like 'the flu'.

The Professor smiled, no doubt privy to this internal monologue.

"I am glad she has recovered," he said. "Laura is an essential part of this school, as every student is. In particular, however, I enjoy hearing about the jaunts you two get up to. Quite amusing.  
Logan and I converse often, and he has shared many of your experiences with me." He paused. "It is all well meant, of course…I hope you do not consider it a violation of your privacy."

"No," Julian said, startled. "I'm surprised the whole school doesn't know about some of them."

The Professor smiled.

"I hear Nathan is learning to use his powers, already?"

"Yeah," Julian said. "He can fly. Rae can too, but she seems less enthusiastic about using them. Ms. Frost wants us to start working on their telepathy next."

The Professor arched his eyebrows. "I have, actually, been aware of them on the psychic network for a while now. I have spoken with them…Nathan enjoys telling me stories about his friend  
Tito. I presume that is the Salvadore-Bohusk child, then?"

"Yeah," Julian said again, grinning slightly. "That kid is nuts. He's told Nate all sorts of tall tales…the latest one is he thinks that the zoo has Pokemon. He's been bugging us to take him nonstop,  
and he's all psyched up to meet the big yellow one." He paused. "That and apparently they're writing a story together."

"Delightful," Xavier said. "You must have them share it with me when it's done."

"Nate can't read yet," Julian said.

The Professor chuckled. "Really, bring Nathan and Rachel to visit sometime. I do love children…I've never had a chance to spend much time with them."

"We're always looking for babysitters," Julian said, grinning.

The Professor looked startled, then smiled, realizing it had been a joke. It was the reaction _everyone _had to the Shrimps—they loved to meet them, hold them, hear their stories, but the  
moment the word 'babysitter' was dropped, everyone suddenly had to leave. He and Laura had named it the B-bomb.

"Now…Dr. McCoy informed me that you have been experiencing changes in your telekinesis of late?"

"Yeah," Julian said. "It's complicated. It's like…the smaller stuff is getting harder to do."

The Professor nodded. He didn't look surprised, although that could have been because Dr. McCoy had already informed him of the situation. "If you don't mind, Mr. Keller, I would like to perform a little test."

"Sure," Julian said.

The Professor leaned over and rummaged in one of his desk drawers, then set a briefcase-like box on the table. He opened it to reveal a set of silver cutlery, gleaming brightly in the soft light of his office.

"This is a demonstration I had Jean Grey perform," the Professor said. "Julian…please pick up the silver wear. An orbital pattern, if you can. And please, close your eyes."

Julian raised his eyebrows. "I'm not so good if I can't see what I'm targeting," he said, but he complied, letting his eyelids slide shut and trying to imagine where the silver wear sat on the table. He  
tried to make his hand stay still, clamping it to the chair, as he channeled the energy straight to the cutlery with his mind (somehow he felt awkward using his hand if his eyes were closed, and he  
was still self-conscious over Nate's nose-picking issue).

"Slower!" the Professor said.

"Sorry," Julian said, opening his eyes a crack. The knife was whizzing by his face, inches away, a blur in the air. It slowed as soon as he caught sight of it.

"Eyes."

Julian closed his eyes again, obediently; this time, the silver wear did not spiral out of control, because he had a better idea of their orbital pattern.

"Can you feel that?" The Professor asked suddenly.

"Feel what?" Julian responded.

_SPOINNGGG!_

Silence. "Well, from what I have seen here…your telekinetic advancement is uniquely yours, Mr. Keller. I feel that Hank might have thought you were displaying signs of the Phoenix…but that is hardly  
the case. You may open your eyes now, we are done."

Julian opened his eyes; the cutlery had dropped rather violently onto the Professor's desk, and everything sharp—knives and forks—had embedded themselves in the expensive oak  
surface. One spoon had also followed this pattern, suggesting an impressive force of impact.

"Oops," he winced.

The Professor shook his head. "Don't worry…the desk is a secondary concern. What I am interested in…is your development. Your brain is growing stronger, and you need to nurture it accordingly. I  
will recommend to Emma that you deal with larger objects in simulations…perhaps you could try wearing weights while flying? More mass might help? Perhaps your dietary requirements are not being  
met? There are many areas we can look into."

"Okay," Julian said, relieved.


	47. 13: whatserface 1:5 what

**A/N: **The Jean/Madelyne Pryor area does resurface...towards the 'end' (or end of 'regular helix'). Madelyne Pryor _does_ have alot to do with the next volume, and after. She's woven into the roots of this story.

* * *

**  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "Whatserface" 12 Issue: 1/4 )**

 **Chapter 127: what's in a name ******

**

* * *

  
**

"Keller—"

"Codenames on the feel, babe," Julian said seriously.

Laura rolled her eyes. "Fine. Helium—"

"Hellion."

"I think Helium's more accurate," Laura said, peering through the binoculars again. "More descriptive. These codenames are _supposed _to describe us, right?"

"Shut up."

"It describes your ego perfectly."

"_X—"_

"Fine, fine, _Hellion. _You'll be interested to know that the target is, like, five feet away now. It was about ten meters when I tried to tell you but then you started arguing—"

"_HOLY—" _Julian barely had time to raise a shield as the enormous creature charged them, leaping over the edge of the trench over which Laura had been peering with the binoculars.

**…**

" I will freakin' demote you if you ever do that again," Julian snarled, wiping mud out of his eyes. Laura retracted her claws and gave him her best innocent look.

"You _know_ that only encourages me," she said.

"Whatever." Julian stood up. "Shit, that's a big critter…"

"Ugly, too," Laura said. "Is it related to you?"

"Sure. That's what your son is going to look like."

"_EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" _

Julian gave her a nasty, squinting grin. "Come on…the others are probably wondering what took us so long. They'll think we were fooling around or something. That's all good, but kinda unfair for me."

They made their way back to the rendezvous point.

"I hate alien ecology," Laura mumbled.

**…**

"Good," Dani said, having just done a head-count, and found that all of the students were present. "Nice work, guys. Keep them restrained, Hellion—we're going to let Dr. McCoy  
check out if these are sentient beings."

They were on a real, actual field mission; Summers and Frost had decided that they were ready to attempt one again. They had been called to the ready room, and seated at the large, oval table.

"A 'perfect' opportunity has arose," Frost had told them, smiling. "There has been a small alien invasion in—"

Laura had found this hysterically funny, as usual, and had to be calmed down before anyone could receive further instructions (she'd literally fallen off her chair laughing and hit her head on the desk  
with a resounding _BONK!_). Julian had also been amused at the description, but more concerned at not pissing off his superiors. Summers seemed to see the humor in the situation, but Frost had rolled  
her eyes and folded her arms, huffing.

The team had piled into the X-wing and headed over to the region; indeed, it seemed several strange creatures, not terrestrial, had set up a nest in a field near a suburban area. It had been a simple  
mission—round the creatures up, knock them unconscious, return to the institute with them in tow for examination. If they were harmless, they could be relocated to somewhere such as the  
Savage Lands; if they were harmful…that would be dealt with by the more senior team.

All had gone well so far.

**…**

"Thanks," Laura said, hefting Nate in her arms.

Logan patted the boy's head. "Tell him to stay outta my wallet next time. Shit's hard to replace." Nate had found the leather pouch lying on the counter, and when Logan had found him, he'd shredded  
four of his most important cards with his tiny claws, all smiles.

"Maybe it'll teach you to leave valuables lying out," Laura said, wrinkling her nose. "My god! Who leaves their wallet on the _counter!" _She sounded angry. "I don't even leave my ring on for  
missions! I keep it locked up at home."

Julian sighed. Laura often defended Nate's actions, even if they were unreasonable.

"See ya, kids," Logan closed and locked the door behind them, breathing a sigh of relief. It was getting harder and harder to watch the Shrimps, seeing as they were telekinetic, and he was not. He'd  
almost had a heart attack, coming back from catching Rachel in his closet to find Nate in the bathroom, trying to crack open batteries with mental energy.

Hear attack. And this was _with_ Logan's healing factor.

"Can't wait to have a good shower," Laura said. The ladies' locker room was out of order, as there had been a large fight inside it the week prior (surprisingly not involving said Laura). She had managed  
to clean off much of the guck using a bathroom sink, and had borrowed a clean sweater from Logan (she'd expected to go home in her uniform, and therefore hadn't bothered to bring clothing). She still  
had strings of slime stuck in her hair.

**…**

"Oh my!" Sofia said, catching sight of the Shrimps as Julian and Laura carried them through the rec room, on a short cut to the front door.

"They are _enormous!" _she said.

"We've been fattening them for market," Laura said, patting Nate's bottom affectionately. "That's what I think anyways, every time the fridge goes empty…"

They paused, as the rec room was full of both Hellions and New Mutants alike (as well as a few other students), and everyone was peering curiously at the toddlers.

"Can I hold him?" Sofia asked.

"Hold that one…this one is a bit too violent for beginners," Laura said, indicating Rachel. Julian passed the girl to Sofia, his arms aching (the toddlers weren't tiny anymore); Rachel looked  
up at Sofia with wide eyes.

"Do you remember me?" Sofia asked the girl.

"Sofa," Rachel responded promptly, then looked to her mother for praise.

Julian shifted. "She does that to everyone's name."

"I know," Sofia said, smiling. "My, I'm envious—I _love _children, and these ones are simply beautiful. You've really—"

Suddenly, everyone closed their eyes and toppled to the floor.

**…**

"Owww…" Julian groaned from the floor, his head aching dully. Someone was grabbing his nose and saying something. He opened his eyes slightly to find a small child peering at  
him—a boy—with a concerned expression.

"…"

"?" the child seemed confused as well.

"What the…" He rolled over to his back and propped himself up on his hands into a sitting position, gritting his teeth against the headache, and forcing himself to look around.

He was in a large, expensively furnished room, with an entertainment system in the center, and long, leather couches forming a square. The carpet was a dark color, and it was strewn with  
people. A pale-skinned girl was stretched out nearby, her thick eyelashes squeezed together tightly and her expression troubled. He studied her for a second, then looked up at the  
couch. There was another girl—a very pretty, lean girl with long honey-brown hair and dark skin, slumped over, holding another child; a girl with big green eyes.

On the other couch were several other people—a few girls and boys, and some odd, random objects. A girl, with blue hair, a dark-skinned boy, and a pile of rocks spilling off the sofa beside  
them. In the corner, a boy who looked like he was part lizard, with a misshapen, too-large arm on one side. And a puddle of metal with streaks of red lying on the floor by the TV.

He couldn't figure out how the objects were related.

"Hrum," the girl beside him said, her fingers curling. Her eyelids fluttered and she raised her head, with the same expression of distaste. "Where am I?" she asked, her voice sounding thick, as  
if she'd slept for a long time.

He wasn't sure if she was talking to him; he leaned back on his hands and tried to think. Where _were_ they?

Come to think of it…_who_ were they?

"Hey, _asshole, _I asked you a question," the girl said louder.

So she had been talking to him, even though she hadn't seen him yet.

"I dunno." He knew this much already: he didn't like the girl. She seemed really, really rude. A bit dumpy, too; her hair looked dirty—was that _slime?—_and her skin was grubby in areas. She was  
wearing a floppy sweater at least three sizes too big, with a dried food stain on the stomach area. She was not overweight, but she was curvy, not the figure of someone who exercised every day.

"…" the girl from the sofa, waking up. She touched her forehead.

**…**

"Okay…so we've figured out this much," Julian said. "We can do weird stuff. We're all together…so we must be like an organization, for people like us."

"Mhmm," said the girl with blue hair.

"Why are there kids here?" The blob of metal, which had become female-shaped quite soon after he'd woken up, asked. "Whose are they?"

"Definitely his," the rude girl said. "Look, the boy totally looks like him. The girl, too."

"You look like his sister or something," the dark-skinned boy said. "You have the same hair color."

"Uh, no thanks," Julian said in distaste.

"We should pick names for ourselves…whatever feels familiar…y'know, while we figure everything out," the metal girl said. "Makes things easier, instead of going 'hey you!'"

"True," the dark-skinned boy said.

"I think my name's Norah," the metal girl added.

Julian considered. "Nothing seems familiar to me."

"I'm Joan," the rude girl said. "No question about it. It's right at the tip of my tongue. And I am not his sister, no way."

"I feel like a Fred," the lizard boy said.

Everyone seemed relieved to have something to concentrate on, as they found the blank expanse of their minds quite frightening. After much argument, it was decided that the dark-skinned  
boy was Joe, while the girl with long hair would be referred to as Helen. The blue-haired girl picked the name Misaki; she had something of an accent, and from her features it was apparent  
she was Japanese.

The pile of rocks suddenly moved and everyone made a noise of alarm. Rocks tumbled about, making grating noises and sparking off each other as they collided; suddenly they pulled inwards  
and formed a vaguely humanoid shape. "Holy shit…how long was I out?" the figure asked, in a male voice.

"And why is everyone staring at me?"

"It could be the fact that we just watched _rocks _move on their own," Julian said. "I dunno. I think it's that."

"Who the hell are you people?"

"I'm Norah," the metal girl said. "At least, that's who I've decided I am. We're…uh…"

"None of us can remember anything," Julian said.

Silence.

"You haven't picked a name," Helen said helpfully, to the rock-boy.

"Santo," he grunted.

"That's a weird name," Misaki said.

"It's my name," Santo said. "I'm pretty sure about that. I don't know where _you_ guys came from, or why I'm here…it's all kinda foggy."

"But you remember stuff." Julian, intently.

"Kinda. Not about you guys…or what's going on…just like some shit about myself…" Santo rubbed his chin. "I'm Italian, I think. And we're mutants."

Everyone inhaled sharply; they remembered _this _word. No one had thought of it, though, despite the obvious individuals.

"Why can _you_ remember things?" Joan asked, her voice sharp.

"Dunno." Santo shrugged; rocks grated, and she winced.

"Someone better take care of these children," Helen said, touching the girl's head again. "I wonder if they are mine. I feel like they are."

Joan shrugged. "Who knows…I don't give a flying shit, beyond finding out why I'm here with you losers."

"You know, you're getting on my nerves," Julian said angrily. "You haven't said a decent thing the entire half-hour I've known you."

Joan made a fist, and a face—she stared at her hand, in panic, as the knuckles seemed to erupt, and two metal blades shot out.

"AHHHH!"

"Holy—" Julian crawled backwards, disgusted.

"That's a gross power," Santo observed.

"So…guys, instead of arguing…we should take a look around…see if we can find clues…it's just too weird that _none_ of us remember anything. Well, aside from Santo…" Joe, in a hesitant voice.

"Good idea," Fred agreed.

**…**

The group wandered into a main staircase, taking in the expensive surroundings in wonder. People—children—still lay about on the floor, unconscious; Joan instructed everyone not to wake them, or  
they'd start a riot of panicking children. "I hate children," she added distastefully.

Helen hefted the small girl in her arms and said nothing, but it was clear she wasn't thinking very highly of Joan.

They climbed up the staircase and wandered through the hallways, peering into some semi-open rooms. They seemed to be in dormitories; Joe suggested that perhaps they were in a school.

"Xavier's," Santo said suddenly.

They stopped, and agreed that was a familiar name. They were students, then.

"HAHAHA!" Joan stopped. "That means _you're _a drop-out!" she shot at Helen.

"…" Helen scowled at her. "At least I have people who love me…and whom _I _can love. Unlike yourself."

Joan stared at her. "You—"

"Cut it out," Julian said.

"Shut up…" Joan peered at him. "…whatsyerface."

"We're not going to get anywhere if we keep fighting," Joe said.

"I will not fight if she does not insult me," Helen said.

"Not much to insult," Joan mumbled.

"…"

"Seriously, guys, cut it out." Fred, angrily.

"Ooh, catfight," Santo said, grinning.

Joan rolled her eyes and stomped ahead.

"Don't worry about her," Julian mumbled to Helen, who had stopped, even though the group was moving ahead, down the hallway.

She looked at Julian, and smiled. "If these are _your_ children…and they are _my_ children…" she hefted the girl in her arms.

"Ohh," he said, understanding what she was getting at. He eyed her; he could see himself being tied to this girl. She was very attractive, and very pleasant; she seemed to  
have a strong nurturing instinct,

He smiled back, somewhat shyly, then took her free hand in his.

**…**

Upstairs, they found even grander furnishings, and proceeding down the main corridor, came to an enormous set of doors, with the name "Scott Summers, headmaster" on  
a gold plate to the side.

"Awesome," Julian said. "Some clues." They opened the door, and found a man slumped in a leather chair. He was in his early thirties, with short-cropped brown hair, and angular  
features, adorned with a red-tinted visor.

He was snoring, and drooling slightly.

"Mr. Summers," Julian said, approaching him.

The man started and looked up. "Er, sorry, I seem to have…" he peered at them, confused.

"None of us can remember anything either," Norah said. "Something's happened. All we know is we're mutants…and we're at a school."

"And that your name is Scott Summers, it says so on the door," Joan said. "That's really handy, you know? I wish _I _had woken up in a room with my name on it…"

Scott sat up and rubbed his forehead. "This is a little much," he said. "I don't like handling situations…"

"You're the headmaster…you must enjoy it a bit," Julian said.

"That's why we came to find you," Joe said.

Silence. Scott cleared his throat. "Fine. How do you know this is a school?"

"There are kids…and dorm rooms…and under your name, it says 'headmaster'," Misaki said.

"I see." Scott looked at his desk. It was clean, not a clue to be seen; however, looking to the side, he found a laptop.

"Maybe that's got something on it," he said.

**…**

Clustered around the laptop, the children watched as Scott pulled up file after file. One contained a layout of the school, revealing a sub-basement level, with laboratories, and  
an enormous chamber titled 'Cerebra'.

"I remember something about that," Santo said suddenly. "It's a big brain machine. We have…people…who can read other people's minds…and the room like enhances their powers or something."

"Interesting," Scott said. "Maybe we could find a mind-reader then…and _they_ could find out what's going on."

"We could get a mind-reader to work with Santo," Julian said. "He remembers stuff…maybe it's all there but there's just something blocking it."

"Good idea," Scott said. "Let's head for the basement then."

**…**

They found an elevator, and got stuck when it asked for a code to let them into the sublevels. Scott rubbed his chin and admitted he didn't know it.

"Look, sir," Joe said, reaching around him and pressing a button. A panel slid out, with a glass plate surface, grubby with fingerprints. "It 's a fingerprint sensor. Try putting your hand on it."

Scott complied; and suddenly the elevator lit up.

"_Code accepted. Welcome, Cyclops." _

"!" Scott looked up. "Who is _Cyclops?!_"

"Must be you," Julian said.

A brief, smooth descent followed, and then the doors slid open to reveal metallic walls, floors and ceilings; a hallway made of metal. Slowly the group filtered out, their eyes  
widening to take in the appearance.

"There are X's everywhere," Fred noted.

"Makes sense…if this place is called Xavier's," Joe said.

They proceeded down the hallway, in the direction of the large Cerebra room shown in the diagrams. They passed a laboratory on the way, and stared through the clear glass doors at the  
odd sight; a sticky, brown, multi-limbed creature lying on the table; as well a large lump of blue fur wearing a lab coat, and a woman with an hourglass figure, with blond hair, clad in strange,  
revealing white clothes and a cape, lying in a heap on the floor.

"Should we see who they are?" Scott asked.

"No. _Look_ at that thing on the table," Joan said, wrinkling her nose.

"They might know something, if they're down here," Julian said.

"I will not take children into that room!" Helen argued.

Finally, it was decided that Scott would enter, even though he seemed wary.

They watched from outside, ready to run, as he tentatively poked at the shoulders of the fallen figures, his lips moving in explanation. The woman on the ground raised her head and seemed to be in pain.

Inside:

"What…"

"My name is Scott," Scott said. "Don't worry, everyone is having the same problem you are right now. We can't remember anything."

"I think I have struck my head," the woman said, touching it gingerly.

"You're bleeding, from your nose," Scott observed.

"Mmm." The woman cast her eyes about the room. "I was doing something…something important. I can't remember what it was now." She paused. "Excuse me, that's _quite_ offensive."

"What?" Scott was confused.

"You said…" the woman stared at him. "It must be the head injury. I could have swore you spoke to me."

"No," Scott said. He extended a hand; she took it in her gloved one and struggled to her feet, swaying slightly (she had very high heels).

"Goodness!" she said, seeing the creature on the table. "What _is_ it?"

"I have no idea." Scott looked at the blue furry lump on the ground. "Is that…is that a _person?_"

"I'm not sure," the woman said.

"Try waking it up," Scott said.

"Me?" the woman asked. "Why don't _you_ try waking it up?"

"…I'm afraid," Scott admitted.

"My goodness." The woman nudged the lump with the pointed toe of her white boot. "Wake up, darling, it's—"

The lump rolled over and growled; Scott and the woman barely had time to escape the room. Scott yanked the door closed just as the burly mass of fur hit the glass, its claws scrapping at the surface.

"Goodness!" The woman said again, pale.

"What did you _do_ to it?" Julian demanded.

"Nothing," the woman said defensively. "Since it was wearing clothing…I tried to wake it. It's obviously not a morning creature."

"HAHA!" Joan snorted in derisive laughter.

The woman glanced at the girl, and smiled slightly, seeming to like her.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Joan," the girl said confidently.

"None of us are sure what our _real _names are," Scott said. "Well, except me. I'm Scott. And…he's Santo."

"That's not 'none of you', is it?" The woman asked.

"I guess not," Scott said.

The group stood around, wondering what came next.

Joan looked through the window; she touched the glass, staring at the creature on the table. "Is it…getting _bigger?_" she asked.

Julian looked over her shoulder. The being on the table was lying still, its shiny skin beating slightly. It looked distorted; bloated; its limbs looked too small, or, rather, its midsection was too large.

"Kinda looks like an alien, doesn't it?" he asked.

"You said it," the girl said absently.

Helen touched his arm, having noted he was standing close to Joan, the rude girl. "Come…" she didn't have a name to fill in the blank, so she smiled instead. He complied.


	48. 13: whatserface 2:5 tangled web

**

* * *

  
( Volume: 3 Arc: "whatserface" 13 Issue: 2/4 )**

 **Chapter 128: tangled web ******

* * *

"…I don't know how to use this," the woman said, looking at the large machine in the enormous metal room.

They had decided, after a few incidents of the woman saying out loud things that people were thinking—and responding to thoughts—that she was a mind-reader, and a prime candidate to operate the machine.

"Try putting the helmet on," Joe suggested.

The woman approached the seat, and tentatively picked up the helmet. "Will this muss up my hair?" she asked.

"No," Scott said.

The woman flushed, presumably at something he'd added mentally, then raised the helmet and dropped it on her head with a serious expression, then sat down and closed her eyes.

"I don't feel anything," she said after a minute.

Silence.

"Well, we're stuck," Julian said.

"Damn." Scott.

"Yeah, I don't know where to go from here…" Joe.

"Try turning the _power _on, you effing idiots," Joan said, rolling her eyes and moving to a button with a circular symbol on the counter in front of the station. She tapped it with her fingers; there was a collective  
gasp as the room _lit up _with millions of screens, some superimposed on top of others.

"_AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE," _the woman said under her breath, her fingers curling on the arms of the seat.

"Are you okay?!" Scott asked, worried.

"Oh, god," the woman said. She opened her eyes, but she wasn't looking at them. "I can see _so much…_I can see _everything _you're thinking…I can…"

"What's this do?" Joe asked, pointing at a button with a star symbol.

The woman hesitated, then pressed it. A screen enlarged, with the word 'Favorites' as a header; below it, rotated a selection of images. Minds, she could contact. Each had a word below it: one said 'Cyclops',  
another said 'Wolverine'. She frowned, wondering how to make selections; almost as soon as she thought of it, the list began to scroll down, moving into headings like 'Students', 'X-corps', and  
'Professor Xavier's contacts'. She reached the bottom, then returned to the top with a thought.

"What should I do?" she asked.

"Try calling 'Cyclops'," Julian suggested. "We heard that word on the elevator."

The woman used her mind to click on the name.

She heard a ringing noise.

"ARRRGH!" Scott yelled, throwing his head back in agony and grabbing the edge of the station; blood ran down from his nose. The group panicked; finally Joan suggested that the woman click on someone else.

In a hurry, the woman selected the next name—'Wolverine'.

_Ring, ring. _It was actually more of a doorbell's chiming noise.

_**Hey Emma, you called? **_

The woman started, hearing a voice speak, in her mind.

_**Wolverine? **_she asked.

_**Yeah?**_

…_**. **_the woman looked at the group. "What should I ask him?"

"Who the hell _he _is, to begin with," Julian said. "What if he's not safe?"

"He _has_ to be safe, to be on the favorites list," Joan pointed out, sneering.

"That's true," Joe said.

"Errhnf," Scott whimpered, still in pain.

_**What the hell's goin' on? You sound weird, **_'Wolverine' said to the woman, who now knew her name was Emma. Odd, she felt more like a Stephanie.

…_**we have a little situation here, **_Emma said, grimacing, as she watched Scott try to wipe away the blood from his nose with shaking fingers. Apparently she'd been a tad too loud when calling him. Perhaps the  
machine was made for long-range communications.

_**Situation? **_'Wolverine' had a very direct, grainy, raw feel to his voice; somehow, oddly, he reminded her of the girl—Joan. She wondered if they were related in some way. _**What's up?**_

_**I'm not sure what the situation is, **_Emma said. _**The only thing we know for certain is…nothing. There seems to be a case of mass amnesia. I'm actually not quite certain who you are, but I found  
you on a list in a machine called 'Cerebra'.**_

Wolverine paused. _**… **_

Emma sensed a moment of ironic amusement, on Wolverine's end. _**Let me get this straight, **_you're _**the ones who can't remember nothin'?**_

_**That is correct, **_Emma said. _**Are you suffering the same affliction as well? **_

'Wolverine' chuckled. _**I'll be right over, Emma. I'm just in Seattle…you guys sent me out with the jet to sniff out a new student for the school. **_

_**Perhaps you should stay, **_Emma said warily. _**We don't know what has caused this loss of memory. It could be a proximal, radial effect. **_

'Wolverine' paused. _**Emma…you were just tellin' me the other day about some alien your kids picked up in Nevada. **_

Emma stiffened. _**There was a creature on the table. In the lab, where I woke up. **_

"What are you guys talking about?" Julian asked.

Emma held up her hand. _**Do you think the 'alien' is causing this?**_

_**Odds are, **_'Wolverine' responded. _**Have Hank check it out. **_

_**Hank?**_

_**A big fuzzy blue guy, **_'Wolverine' corrected.

"Oh," Emma said out loud. _**He is rather…unfriendly. When I awoke him, he tried to attack me…we left him in the laboratory, with the creature. **_

_**Christ, **_'Wolverine' said. _**Okay…so there's this big ball of string…**_

**…**

'Hank' stared at the ball of string in his paws with a distasteful expression.

"My apologies," he said in a glum voice.

"It is quite alright. None of us are ourselves at the moment," Emma said, standing up. "I am quite certain…at the moment, your mind is a blank, correct?"

Hank gazed at the ball of string.

"Quite the opposite," he said. "I am a tangled mess of emotions and guilt, just like this ball of string. I am ashamed at having allowed myself to devolve yet again. Perhaps it is time for  
me to leave the Institute and take a leave of absence to 'find myself'—I am sure the Professor would—"

Emma held up her hand. "Hank. Stop. You _remember?_"

Hank looked past the ball of string. "…yes," he said, now confused.

**…**

"Ask him who _I _am!" Norah said.

"_No. _It is very important that we not disturb him, while he performs these tests," Scott said, having regained most of his composure. He still rubbed his ears every so often. "He is analyzing  
tissue samples from the creature. He suspects it is causing this situation by its proximity to us."

"How does _he_ know what's going on?" Santo asked.

"The ball of string is actually a highly powered sensory stimulant, designed to 'remind' Hank of himself should he forget," Scott said. "Kind of perfect for our situation. Emma said he's really smart…  
he should be able to figure out what's going on."

Julian leaned on the doorframe, holding the girl now, as Helen was lying on the sofa, dozing. They were in a waiting room, near the laboratory, waiting—as if expectant parents—to hear the  
prognosis. He had the vague sense of this being familiar, possibly because he was holding one of the results in his hands.

The girl blinked up at him, sucking her thumb.

_Green eyes. _He frowned, and looked over at Joan, who was sitting, slumped, on the other sofa, and suddenly noticed that the two looked similar. Actually…more than that. Why hadn't he noticed  
it at first? They were almost identical.

"Joan," he said softly.

The girl looked at him, her nose wrinkled. "What?"

"Come here," he said.

"Why?"

He decided it was useless; she was going to argue, so instead _he_ crossed the room—and deposited the girl in Joan's lap.

Joan's eyes widened. "_Get it off me!" _she gasped.

"No, concentrate," Julian said. "Is that familiar?"

"Absolutely _not,_" Joan replied, glaring at him. "What the hell are you—"

"Mum," the girl said suddenly.

Silence. Joan turned her eyes to the girl. "What…no way."

"I think she's yours," Julian said, folding his arms.

"But—" Joan stared at the girl, then looked up at him. "I'd never boink you, ever. You're not my type, at all."

"How do you even _know_ what your type is?" he asked.

Joan paused. "I just _know, _okay? There's no way I'd have kids with someone like you. End of story."

"Maybe they're not mine," Julian said. "Neither of them have called me 'dad'."

"…" Joan stared at the girl on her lap. "Oh my god, what did I ever _do_ to deserve this?!" she wailed.

"Something bad," Julian agreed. "Probably slept around."

"I hate you," Joan said miserably. "No. No way. I _refuse_ to accept the fact that they're mine. You can't prove it either, just because _one _kid calls me—"

"Mum," the boy said, tapping at her knee. He'd sidled up to her, unnoticed, and tired now. "I wanna go bed…can we go home now?"

"Home?" Julian asked. "Where's home?"

The boy gazed at him. "Home," he repeated, not having words to describe it yet. "Wid Lego castle…an movies…an wobster."

"That's helpful," Joan said sarcastically.

"Shut up, he's just a kid," Julian said, reaching out and touching the boy's head. "Must be pretty scared right now, coz he found out _you're _his mom."

She looked kind of pretty now, that she was holding the child; it was like something had been missing before, some vital part of her.

Joan wrinkled her nose. "Fuck you, too."

Julian opened his mouth to respond, but at that moment, Hank reentered the room. He might have looked pale, had he not been a solid, unchanging shade of blue; he was holding up  
some sort of X-ray or another.

"It's _definitely_ the extraterrestrial creature," he said. "It's a parasite. It's feeding on our mental energy. It's growing at a rate of one centimeter per ten minutes; I have measured it. We have  
to get it out of here, _now._"

"What happens if we don't?" Scott asked.

"I don't know," Hank said. "Complete mental degradation? It's already begun to reverse some of our personalities, if you have noticed. Removing mental attachments. I can not guarantee what  
long-term effects may be." He paused.

"We've got to take it back into space."

Silence.

"Why don't we just kill it?" Julian asked.

"Because," Emma said, reappearing behind Hank. "It is a sentient creature. It's name is unpronounceable in our language, however, it roughly translates to 'Larry'. I've had a stimulating mental  
conversation with it…and it apologized for this mishap. It crash-landed on earth by accident, and it did not know it would affect us in this manner."

"Tell it to stop eating us!" Misaki snapped.

"It cannot. This process is a subconscious operation. I am able to do little more than communicate with it. It's brain is very different than yours. We must return it to space…somewhere it can be rescued  
by other creatures of its race."

"And _how_ are we going to do that?" Joan asked, annoyed.

"A spaceship," Hank said. "Emma…join me in Cerebra. You are going to contact a good friend of ours at NASA, and relay my instructions to him…"


	49. 13: whatserface 3:5 at a loss

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "whatserface" 12 Issue: 3/4 )**

 **Chapter 129: at a loss ******

* * *

"We're not seriously going into space, are we?" Joan asked, as they sat in the capsule. The last four hours had been spent loading the creature onto the X-wing, and then flying it over to Texas,  
Hank piloting, with Joe (who was apparently able to absorb skills) co-piloting.

Julian had been told he could lift things with his mind, and was assigned the task of loading and unloading the creature, which was now far too fat to move.

"We are," Hank said, from across her.

"Damn. This has got to be a crazy dream," Joan said. "I can't wait to remember who I am—then I can get myself _out _of this crazy place."

"You may not regain your memory instantaneously, if at all," Hank reminded her. "We do not know what the long-term effects are."

"I don't know about _you_ losers, but _I _will," Joan said confidently.

**…**

In the space station, the team received outfits to wear while ejecting the creature; spacesuits, with glass bubble helmets and oxygen systems. The atmosphere was nervous, as no one knew  
what would happen after the creature—Larry—was dealt with. Would they remember everything?

Helen had elected to remain on the station, with the children; Joan had instantly volunteered to help evacuate the creature, wishing to space herself from the responsibility the boy had  
tried to hoist on her.

Julian stole a glance as Joan pulled her suit on. She'd taken off her jacket and her bulky, oversized sweater to reveal a surprisingly pleasant figure—curvy, like he'd thought, but in a very  
streamlined matter, not _fat_ the way the sweater had implied.

"Hey! _HEY!_" Joan snapped. He realized, with a start, that he'd been staring at her, his hands actually letting go of the zipper he'd been trying to pull up.

She stomped towards him, her upper half consisting of a bra, and her lower half if the spacesuit. "Just what the hell do you think you're _doing?_ This isn't a peep show!" Joan was furious.

"…" he flushed.

"Can't blame a guy for staring," Santo grunted. He didn't need a spacesuit, being—apparently—a psionic entity—so he'd been free to watch his teammates get dressed. No one else had stripped.

"Maybe if you didn't shove them in my _face,_" Julian added, realizing he was still staring at her upper half.

"I've got two layers on! Excuse _me_ for taking them off! Why can't you just give me a little effing privacy?!"

Julian turned away, angry and confused. It suddenly struck him that he was afraid of knowing, for sure, who he was. Then he'd know what relationships went along with his life, and this  
pleasant sense of wondering would be gone.

**…**

They tromped over to the ejection door of the space station. They were going to take the creature to the Earth's moon, as Emma said it had made telepathic arrangements with its kin to be  
picked up. She'd added that it was quite embarrassed about this whole mishap.

The space station was a few thousand meters from the moon; and Julian, apparently, could cover the distance in the space of two minutes and thirty seconds. He'd practiced—lifting objects  
in the institute, then flying in the Danger Room, with a crash-course on telekinesis from Hank—before they had left.

"Do not linger after it has been picked up," Hank warned them. "Put your helmet on, _now. _Do not remove your spacesuits under any circumstances. You would get a terrible sunburn, not to  
mention you would suffocate in under ten seconds."

"Wasn't planning to," Julian said airily, picking up his helmet. They had waited for this part, as the oxygen supply was limited, and they wanted to leave with the maximum possible.

Hank left, and the seals to the station closed. A voice told them the hatch would open in five minutes. Julian began to raise the helmet, then paused, lowered it, reached over and tapped Joan  
on her shoulder. "Hey," he said.

The girl turned, her expression irritated, her fingers wrapped around her helmet as she prepared to put it on. "What?"

He leaned forward and kissed her lightly—more of a peck, really; she let him for a moment, then pulled away. "The hell!"

"Don't get me upset, I'm going to be carrying your ass to the moon and back," he said, grinning as he pulled on his helmet.

The others had pretended not to notice the interaction (and quite possibly hadn't, due to the thick insulation of the spacesuits.

Joan eyed him warily, then pulled on her helmet as well and began to flip the locks.

**…**

"SLOW DOOOWN!" Joan screamed, as the mess of alien and people hurtled towards the pitted surface of the moon in a wash of green. The enormous distance had taken less time than estimated, as  
Julian seemed to be traveling much faster than Hank had suggested he would be able to fly.

"I will when you _calm _down," Julian said, seemingly annoyed. They slowed, immensely, at the last few seconds, and landed with a soft 'puff' of dust, on their feet; Joan he allowed to fall on her behind.

"…" Joan seemed to be yelling something at him, but she'd forgotten to press the communication button on her space suit. All he heard was a vague, muffled voice yelling something inside her bubble.

"Dude! That was _not_ a few hundred kilometers an hour!" Santo gasped, reforming (he'd come apart in flight).

"Maybe he forgot there's no air resistance," Julian said, shrugging.

The alien's skin beat shallowly, and it looked at them with dull eyes.

"It's probably got a tummy ache from eating _your_ mind," Joan said, wrinkling her nose. "Let's find its posse and get the hell out of here. This place gives me the creeps, I'm not kidding."

**…**

"So…let me get this straight," Santo grumbled. "We hurried here—to the _moon_—to get stood up by a bunch of _aliens_?"

"I feel like a such loser," Joan said.

"They'll _be_ here, okay?" Julian grumbled.

"Maybe we should just go," Santo said. "From what I hear, you squishies will suffocate when your air runs out. Leaving me stranded, on top of being stood-up. Totally uncool, man."

The alien near their feet wiggled pathetically, its eyes bulging. Pleading.

"Look, can you tell it we _have_ to go?" Julian asked Santo. "It's telepathic…it should have no trouble contacting its buddies."

"Me?! Why me?!"

"You're psionic."

"Psionic, as in _entity,_ dude. I just keep rocks together, that's it."

"That's a good way to describe it," Joan commented sarcastically.

"Crap," Julian mumbled, staring at the alien. "Well…we can't just die out here. And we _will_ if we stay. I think we have to cut our losses and—"

Joan pointed at the alien, her eyes wide. It was changing; it had risen into the air, its green, quivering mass slowly morphing into human-shaped appendages. With a _slurpp _noise, it finished its  
transformation into an average-looking middle aged man, wearing an X-uniform.

"Can't let you guys do that," the man said. "Sorry. Hate to turn on you like this…but I'm working for a higher calling, and it was my duty to report it to them."

Staring.

"…" Joan said something, made an annoyed face, then pressed her communication button. "Who the hell are you?" she repeated.

The man looked relieved. "It's better if you don't remember. Anyways, they should be here any minute."

"Uh…" Julian said.

A noise. The four people looked up, to see a metallic shape similar to a boomerang descending.

"This can't be good," Santo said.


	50. 13: whatserface 4:5 harmony

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "whatserface" 12 Issue: 4/5 )**

 **Chapter 130: harmony ******

* * *

"I am Gladiator, Superguardian of the Shi'ar Imperium. My sworn duty is to preserve stellar harmony," said the tallest man, with the Mohawk-style hair. "I am truly sorry for what must occur."

Julian, Santo and Joan were silent, staring at the odd assortment of humanoids that had descended from the boomerang. Some glowed, some sparkled, some were merely green blobs, covered in little  
tentacles. They had joined the man wearing the X-costume.

"Are you gonna give us our memories back?" Santo asked stupidly.

"It would make it more difficult," Gladiator said. "No—I think it best that you go quietly, without knowledge of what you are leaving behind."

"…" Joan tried to speak (again), then kicked the ground, yelled noiselessly in her suit (her mouth forming what seemed to be swearwords); finally she pressed the communication button. "Go quietly?" she asked.

Gladiator nodded. "I am here, by the order of the Empress, to eradicate the heir to the Phoenix. Prior experiences have shown that such a destructive force cannot be allowed to exist."

"Phoenix?" Julian asked, blinking.

"As the son of Jean Grey-Summers, you are the heir to the force. It was hoped that the power would die with her, and that such actions would be unnecessary…however, large emissions of telepathic  
and telekinetic energy have been detected from your planet. We cannot allow for this."

"…" Joan looked at Julian. "What, really? _Him?_"

"I don't feel all that special," Julian said in a small voice. He didn't know his own name, and he certainly didn't have the foggiest idea of what these strange, threatening looking beings were talking about. He  
got the sense, though, that they meant business—and that they were planning something unpleasant.

For him.

"Yes, him," Gladiator said, sounding vaguely annoyed that they had made him repeat himself. "This is the heir to the Phoenix. Jean Grey's son, Julian Keller. And for this, he must die. I am sorry."

"…" Joan said something, cursed and pressed the button. "The fuck—_die?_ Are you on some special alien drugs or something?! He's a student at a school for crying out loud!"

Julian stared dumbly at Gladiator. The man sounded so authoritative, so confident.

"Whoa, dude—" Santo said. "You can't just kill him!"

"Yeah," Julian said, realizing he should probably defend himself. "What they said. I, er, I have _no_ idea what you're talking about…and there is no way in hell you're going to kill me. Over my dead body!"

Joan rolled her eyes. "Encourage them, why don't you."

"Excuse me for not have the best comeback ever!" Julian blurted, angry now at Joan. "This guy just told me him and his friends are going to—"

"They are not my friends…we are the Imperial Guard," Gladiator interrupted.

"—kill me," Julian continued, ignoring this. "That's a lot to have shoved on your plate all of a sudden! How would _you_ like it if—"

"You think I _agree_ with this?!" Joan snapped.

"How about how _I_ feel?!" Santo interjected.

"ENOUGH," Gladiator said in a firm voice. "There will be no contesting this. It is your choice, to die an honorable death. We can terminate you…or you can take off your helmet and let nature take its course. At  
the last moments, your true nature will most likely shine through…and that's why we are here, to help you conquer it and slip into a peaceful death."

"You make it sound like he's an old man at a nursing home!" Joan snapped.

Santo chortled, and Julian shot a glare at him. "Not funny."

"Julian," the man in the X-uniform said, his voice weary. "Please…listen to him. What Jean Grey did…what she became…we can't _ever_ let it happen again. The X-men knew this. We thought it was over…and then  
you…with Magneto…I _saw_ something, and we can't risk the whole planet's well-being on your life."

"Who _are_ you, anyway?" Julian asked.

"Name's Morph," the man replied quietly.

Gladiator shifted. "Enough delay. We—"

"This isn't a fair deal!" Joan interrupted. "We have no say in this! We're outnumbered ten-to-one! You said you're some sort of imperial guard or something?"

"Yes," Gladiator said. "The Shi'ar—"

"Then don't you have a _code_ of conduct? I demand to talk to your queen bee or whatever you guys worship!"

Silence. Julian (at first) thought the guardians would begin to attack, but then Gladiator nodded. "Fair enough. You are X-men, and you are Professor Xavier's Students. Therefore, we will grant you an  
audience with Empress Lilandra."

**…**

"_Brilliant _idea, Joan," Julian hissed. "Get us locked in a tiny holding cell in space, so we can be even _more_ overpowered—in outer space—while moving farther and farther away from any support  
we could have hoped for!"

Joan stared out through the cell's force field glumly. She'd removed the bubble dome of her spacesuit—as the environment contained oxygen—and was now hugging it to her front as she sat on the floor.

"I blame _you_, Keller," Santo grumbled. "I shoulda known better than to get mixed up with you two."

"…" Julian made a face but said nothing.

A little while later:

"Have you tried to _see_ if you're this Phoenix-thing?" Santo asked. "It sounds pretty bad ass, if they're this concerned about snuffin' it…I dunno man but I think it could bust us out of this jam."

"He's right," Joan said. "Try it."

Julian rolled his eyes. "So what? I just think really hard about birds?"

"Or about getting us out of here," Joan said.

"Okay, okay, be quiet for a sec while I turn it on." Julian screwed up his eyes and contorted his face (somehow, Joan thought she might have seen this before, on someone else). A few moments passed.

"Are we out yet?" Julian asked.

"Dude, nothing happened," Santo said. "It looked like you really had to fart though."

"Maybe I _did_, and you just don't know it," Julian shot back.

"Silent but deadly," Santo said, edging back towards his corner.

"He didn't," Joan said. "I have an enhanced sense of smell. He might in like an hour or two, but not now."

Her companions stared at her; she shrugged and went back to examining the outside of the cell.

"Seriously…I can't do whatever they think I can," Julian said, after a while.

"Maybe you don't _need_ to," Joan said. "You can move things with your mind…like for instance, buttons." She was peering out of the cell, at a wall panel.

Julian got to his feet and joined her at the corner. "What if I hit the wrong ones?" he asked.

"Then we all die?" Joan suggested.

"I don't want to die," Santo voiced.

"I don't want _you_ to die," Julian said to Joan in a lower voice, putting his hand on her arm. "Maybe I should just let them do me in."

Silence.

"Whoa, awkward!" Joan said. "Uh, thank you, I guess?"

"_Burrrrn,_" Santo said from the corner.

"Yeah, you're quite welcome," Julian said, wrinkling his nose. "I was thinking more along the lines of your two _kids_, actually. No reason they should be orphans, right?"

"Right," Joan agreed enthusiastically.

"I'll step in for ya, man," Santo added. "Make sure they're not missing a father figure or nothin'."

"You guys must be my best friends," Julian said sarcastically. "I mean, my _best._"

"Totally," Joan agreed.

"Asshats." Julian looked at the panel of buttons again. "They're not even in English."

"There goes that idea!" Santo said. "Unless you want to, like, drunk-type."

"I like any sentence with the word 'drunk' in it," Joan said.

Julian considered this, then randomly pelted the keyboard across the room with small mental pressures. The panel lit up, and a siren went off somewhere in the distance; he and Joan jumped  
backwards and rushed to the opposite corner.

A few minutes later, a guard came over, checked the panel, then looked at their cell with a suspicious expression. Julian pretended to be asleep.

Eventually the guard shrugged and left.

"This _sucks_," Santo complained loudly.

**…**

The three stumbled forwards—their arms held tightly at their backs—into a large metallic room, decorated with strange, naturally shaped crystals.

Soft voices spoke a strange language from either side of the entry way, and a short figure in the middle of the room turned away from the window to face them. It was that of a woman, with a  
strange triangular shaped hat, and facial tattoos. Her features were stern, compassionate, and intelligent; it was obvious that _she_ was the queen.

"Her Imperial Highness Lilandra, Lux Gloriana of Galactic Space," Gladiator murmured to them, his voice full of reverence.

The woman eyed the three captives with the gaze of a hunting bird.

"This is the boy, then," she said, her voice soft.

"Your majesty," Gladiator said, sinking to his knee. The other guards did the same, pulling the captives down with them. Joan tried to lock her knees, found the man holding her insanely strong,  
and so she stumbled down in a less-than-graceful manner, landing on the floor with a loud _thunk!_

Lilandra waited.

"Your majesty, this is the boy," Gladiator confirmed.

"The Phoenix," Lilandra said, watching Julian. "You understand I act for the good of the empire." This was not a question.

Joan glared at her. "Yeah, I see how it's important that you kill someone who was trying to _help_ you by—"

Gladiator turned to her in anger, but Lilandra raised her hand. "Let her speak."

"—help you by returning a citizen of your empire he assumed was sincerely missed," Joan finished, her voice outraged. "You _assume_ that he's whatever you're looking for. You can't even prove  
that he's this 'phoenix' thing!"

"He is of the Grey bloodline," Lilandra said. "That is enough. The power is inherited."

"I don't even know who I am!" Julian burst. "How do I know who I'm _related_ to? You could be lying, and I'd have no way of knowing for sure!"

"APOLOGIZE," Gladiator thundered, rising to his feet.

Lilandra glared at her servant. "Gladiator. Silence."

"Yes, Magistrex," the man said, bowing his head.

Moments of silence.

"They will be allowed a duel," Lilandra said, "A duel of honor, as is fair. To the death. The boy and his companions will be allowed to defend themselves against a fair armament. The survivors will be  
free to leave, and their memories will be restored. However, should the Phoenix manifest, he will be executed. Should it not…then the benefit of the doubt will be his."

"Your majesty is fair," Gladiator said.

Julian traded a sharp look with Joan—one of panic.


	51. 13: whatserface 5:5 victory?

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "whatserface" 13 Issue: 5/5 )**

 **Chapter 131: ...victory? ******

* * *

"I never thought I was gonna die on a _moon,_" Santo grumbled. "This isn't even _the_ moon, it's _a_ moon. This _sucks!_"

The three captives were standing on a dull grey asteroid orbiting a planet far away from their own solar system. It was very cold, even for those in space suits.

"We don't know for sure that we'll die," Joan said. "I think we're pretty damn good. And he's totally not this Phoenix thing they're talking about."

"Mmm." Julian stood with folded arms, watching the dark horizon. There was no atmosphere separating them from space, no air, no weather, just endless black and twinkling stars.

Over the edge of the landscape, figures appeared, unaffected by the crushing gravity of the small asteroid. One of them was Gladiator; with him were two unfamiliar figures: a woman with  
skin so pale it could be classified as white; and a man wearing a spandex outfit that covered his entire body, except for his eyes and mouth. They reached the three captives and then halted.

Another being approached, glowing hot like the sun, a mouth, nose and eyes barely visible inside his strange suit. His expression was hard to fathom, due to the brightness, but Julian was  
of the impression that he thought the three prisoners unworthy to stand on his asteroid.

"I am G-type, consulate of Her Imperial Highness Lilandra, Lux Gloriana of Galactic Space and Majestrix of the Shi'ar. Julian Keller, you have been found suspect of crime punishable by execution  
under Shi'ar law: hosting the interstellar Phoenix virus." He paused, and Julian stared at him, feeling small.

Had he really done this? He had no idea.

"A duel of honor has been asked for, and been granted, by Her Most Gracious Majestrix. In place of Her Majestrix will fight her Champions: Gladiator, Oracle and Smasher, servants of the Imperial Guard."

"Should the accused survive, with no manifestation of the Phoenix raptor, then he will be allowed to walk as a free man," G-type said, his voice echoing in the emptiness of the asteroid. After a  
while of listening to the sound, Julian had decided it was sad, lonely. He imagined G-type _was_ lonely, a ball of fire obviously trapped in a suit. Could he touch anyone?

"Bow," G-type said.

The defendants faces each other again, and Gladiator sunk into a bow, followed by his comrades. Joan stood, her back ramrod straight, as did Santo, but Julian finally lowered his head  
slightly. It wasn't Gladiator's fault he was here.

"Let the duel commence when I lower my hand," G-type said, holding up one suited appendage. A pause—everyone watched it intently—then it dropped, quite definably, to the ground.

"Smasher!" Gladiator ordered. "Oracle! As planned!"

"Wha—" Joan said, but their opponents were already on them. Julian found himself face to face with Gladiator, who gave him a grim smile. "You must forgive me for what I am to do."

"Yeah—" Julian started to say, sarcastically, but he found himself flying backwards, his abdomen cramping from the massive sucker-punch he'd just received. He hit the asteroid in an enormous  
cloud of dust, vaguely wondering (between the stars of pain) if his back had broken. Gladiator was _strong, _bizarrely strong. Strong as in he could probably move buildings when not pulling his punches.

"JULIAN!" Joan shouted, but Oracle reached around her helmet and closed her eyes. "This won't—_urckk!_" Her head snapped backwards as Joan head-butted her; and she stumbled away, holding her nose.

Smasher was occupied with Santo, who seemed to be the only even match of the three. They traded blow for blow; however, with every punch received, a rock flew off Santo's craggy form and  
clattered to the surface of the asteroid, while Smasher remained intact.

"This is a duel to the death, correct?" Joan asked Oracle.

"Y-yes," the woman said, holding her nose and glaring at the girl. "You're going to pay for that."

"Hardly."

_Wham! _Joan's fist to the woman's stomach.

"URRF!"

_Crack! _Joan's knee, meeting the woman's face as she bent down.

Oracle fell to the surface of the asteroid, blinking in a dazed manner.

"…I don't understand," she wheezed, as Joan held her foot to the woman's throat. "Why can't I—"

"Simple. Your intel is crap," Joan hissed. _Snkkt! _

Oracle looked down at the claw pressing against her jugular, poised to slice. Her eyes met Joan's, pleading.

"Consider yourself dead," Joan said, withdrawing her claw and turning away—to see Julian skid backwards through a cloud of dust, victim to another enormous impact with Gladiator's fist. Each  
contact made the asteroid shake slightly.

Gladiator approached Julian, who was coughing in the dust, on his back, looking dazed and broken. He stood over his opponent, his expression grim.

"I am going to kill you now." He closed his eyes, and Joan started, running towards the pair as fast as she could. She smelled energy—and she wasn't wrong. When Gladiator opened his eyes, a  
ray of red energy was traveling up through his pupils.

"JULIAN—" Joan said, but he suddenly sat up, as the energy shot down towards him in a beam. It deflected off a sudden force field, like water pouring on a curved dome; Gladiator made a  
noise as it traveled back into his eyes.

"Ohh nice," Joan said, but he wasn't done. He scrambled to his feet and threw his hands forward, with a sound that made her think of something being torn apart; a green, pillar-like torrent of energy  
hurtled forward, and Gladiator disappeared, consumed by the light. The very center of the transfer was white, and Joan noted black spots around the edges.

"Ahhhk," Gladiator wheezed, bending over and holding his stomach. The skin looked burnt. Julian gritted his teeth.

_WHUD! _Gladiator's own knee flew up into his face, stripes of green following his limbs. The effect was delayed, and somehow familiar to Joan, as if she had seen something comparable in her past. Probably  
drug-related, she mused, watching as Gladiator continued to hit himself, looking stunned.

Finally the man keeled over (with a final move—Julian approached him and brought his elbow down forcefully in a streak of green to the back of his head); and the boy stood over him.

"I could pull your organs out through your nose," Julian hissed. "I don't care how _strong_ and _invulnerable _you are, telekinesis is mind over matter. Someone told me that once. No hard feelings, huh?"

Smasher turned around, grinning. "Got your friend."

Julian turned his head. "Santo?"

The other boy was nowhere to be seen. Joan coughed, and realized she felt odd, sort of lightheaded. She looked down and suddenly realized: she had a gaping hole on her suit's foot, where her claw had ejected.

"SANTO!!!" Julian shouted, his eyes lighting up. He reached out, and Smasher was jerked forwards, into his grip; the man looked surprised.

"But—"

"What did you do to him?!" Julian demanded.

"It was—_" _

_Rummmble. _A large cloud of dust formed behind Julian, and tapped him on the shoulder. Smasher was dropped.

"Damn, I'm made of moon-rock now," Santo said. "Hello eBay!"

"So, we win, right?" Julian asked as he spotted G-type.

"No." G-type looked over towards Joan, and Julian paled, seeing that the girl was now sitting on the ground, her skin a bluish tint.

"Joan…" he moved over to her, confused. Joan had _defeated_ Oracle, early on. He thought she'd been safe—he thought—she looked like she was strangling. Her lips were blue, and her eyes were half-closed.

"Hey…what's wrong?" he asked, falling to his knees and peering at her in concern. Her eyes slid shut the rest of the way, and she sunk to the ground, her chest entirely still. She wasn't breathing.

She'd suffocated.

"NO!" He gathered her up, surrounding them in a bubble, and ripped off his helmet, flooding the interior with oxygen.

"Dude…she's a goner," Santo said. "Musta been when she popped that claw…I was wondering about that."

Julian didn't respond, pressing her against the floor of the bubble and performing makeshift CPR, even though he knew it was hopeless. He finally gave up and stared at her, lying on the floor of the  
bubble like a broken rag doll.

"I totally fuckin' quit this school, whatever it is," he said angrily.

"Julian Keller, you have lost the duel, as two of your companions were defeated. Prepare to—" G-type began, but Gladiator held up his hand weakly.

"Let him live," he wheezed. "He is…he defeated me, fairly…without signs of the Phoenix. I will report to the Majestrix…myself."

G-type paused. "Very well," he said. " Pending Gladiator's petition—"

Julian wasn't listening, too busy pumping Joan's chest inside the bubble.

"Dude," Santo said, leaning down and putting his hand on Julian's shoulder. "Like I said…she's a goner. Time to let go."

"I guess." Julian closed his eyes, struggled to his feet, and picked Joan up in a fireman's carry. G-type motioned for them to follow.

**…**

In the Shi'ar throne room:

Julian was staring at the Majestrix, watching her say he could go free, and that she was sorry about the loss of his companion, but she had died in battle and would be given an  
honorable space burial.

He thought it was a stupid, horrible waste. He cared less about his own freedom now; he tried to remind himself that he was going back to the girl, Helen (or whatever her real name  
was), but it seemed to matter less now.

_Kids. _

_Oh, god. _

He suddenly remembered Joan's two small children. They'd called her mum, and now he was going to have to tell them she'd died, because of him. He felt even more horrible, and he  
rubbed his face with his free hand.

"AHHHFFF," from his back.

"Dude!" Santo said.

Joan flailed her limbs, hitting Julian's back, hard. He looked at Santo, not understanding; eventually he put Joan down and studied her face. She was pale, but the blue pallor had faded;  
her eyes shifted back and forth.

"Keller, I _quit_ your team, you douchebag" she said, angrily.

"…" Julian's face split with a grin.

"…acquitted of the charges," Lilandra said somewhere in the distance.

He didn't care.

**…**

They were back on the space station, memories slowly returning. Scott and Emma were silent, tight-lipped and equally embarrassed for having been caught at such a disadvantage and  
allowing their students to be harmed, again.

"Well…who could have guessed that the Shi'ar were involved?" Hank—Dr. McCoy—asked conversationally.

Julian glared at his teachers. "Look, I don't see why my team should have to go through another field day to be X-men."

Scott cleared his throat. "You have to admit—"

"My wife got killed, _again,_" Julian snapped.

"She's like Kenny from Southpark," Santo added.

"Oh, my god, shut up," Laura said, covering her face.

"We—" Emma.

"This pretty much tears it. I'm graduating myself, and my team. Boom, done." Julian said. "Don't care what you think anymore."

Scott sighed.

"Fine," he said.

Julian stopped. "…what?"

Emma folded her arms. "Perhaps you are right. We have failed, yet again, to protect you…and yet you have still emerged the victors. You have much to learn…but that will come with practice."

"You did nothing I wouldn't have done," Scott added.

"Dude! I didn't think that would _work!_" Santo burst.

"So we're X-men now?" Julian asked.

"Yes," Scott said. "Congratulations," he added after a moment.

"I take it back, I'm going to stay," Laura said. "Now that you're winners."

"Shut up," Julian said absentmindedly.


	52. 14: Graduated! 1:1 graduation day

**A/N: **Quadruple update! Yeah! Coz...yeah! I always want to say fripple instead of quadruple. It makes more sense. I mean, it comes right after triple. Anyways...taa daa! This concludes Helix Volume 3. You can find the  
first chapter of volume 4 in a new story, also posted tonight :-)

New story title: **Helix Vol 4: ****armagoddnmotherfkingeddon (it's supposed to be ****arma-godd**n-motherf**kin-geddon)  
**

Have fun searching for that! (It's the name of a Marilyn Manson song that just kicks ass).

Enjoy and thanks for reading!

- onelildustbunni

* * *

**( Volume: 3 Arc: "Graduated!" 14 Issue: 1/1 )**

 **Chapter 132: graduation day ******

* * *

Julian set down his pencil. The final exam; he was officially _done _with high school, and squads, forever. It was about time.

He could hardly believe it. He looked up; Laura was examining her nails across the room, having waited for him to finish before handing hers in. She'd been waiting for about half an hour now.

**…**

"So…you going to be my date to this dance-thing?" Julian asked, as they left the class, carrying their books against their fronts; almost hugging them. They'd never do this again; they were  
aware that a door to a phase of their life was closing, firmly, behind them.

"Dream on," Laura said calmly. "I can't take it seriously. I'd laugh my ass off."

"You have to!" Julian exclaimed. "Fuck, that's the _only_ reason I went through this whole marriage thing—guaranteed prom date."

"HAHAHA!" Laura threw back her head. "Keller, it's totally a '_I'm-sorry-you-got-abducted-by-aliens_' party. Tell me you don't find that hilarious."

"I don't find that hilarious. C'mon, you _have _to come." They were at their lockers; Julian opened his and a wad of still-packaged diapers fell out and landed on his shoe. "Grr." He opened  
his backpack and began to stuff the objects in.

"Oh my god!" Nori, suddenly peering over his shoulder. "Your locker is full of _alphabet books! _I want a picture—that totally—"

"Shut up, Ashida," Julian warned.

"You guys going to the party?" Nori asked.

"Not unless there's booze," Laura said. "Unlike _some_ people, I don't feel like celebrating my death by suffocation."

"That's not what we're celebrating, asshole," Julian said. "We're celebrating finally being taken _seriously, _and treated like adults—having people _listen _when we say something fucked-up is  
going on. So you won't have to die some more."

He paused. "You know I feel bad about that…right?"

"No way," Laura said, grinning. "You mean, aside from the partying you're planning?"

"HAH!" said Nori, who was still listening.

"You're such a jerk," Julian grumbled, shutting the locker door firmly. "Well, if you're not going to come, I'll ask someone _else._"

"I didn't say I wasn't going," Laura said. "I said I can't take it seriously."

"…you're really annoying sometimes," Julian said, hefting the bag on his shoulders. "I'll buy you a new dress."

"Why didn't you _say _so right away?" Laura demanded. "If you'd have offered to take me shopping, I'd have said 'hell yes'."

"I didn't say _I_ was taking you shopping, did I?" Julian said, in the same tone she'd used a few moments ago. This earned him a jab with the ring in his stomach.

"OW!—LAURA!"

**…**

"_Oh my god!_" Laura gasped, staring with one kohl-rimmed eye (and one un-defined eye) at the bed. "_KELLER!" _

"What?!" Julian looked in; he'd been hunting down his tie, which had somehow become a rope in Nate's and Rachel's game of Cowboys & Indians. He'd found it lashed around two of their stuffed toys.

"Holy—" he stared. Nate was lying on the bed, with several pieces from Laura's make-up kit; with bright red smeared all over his face, he appeared carnivorous.

And he had a bra strapped around his head, like an odd hat.

"Wanna come!" Nate pouted.

"…" Laura took her lipstick away. "Bad, Nate, _bad. _Don't touch my things."

Julian folded his arms. "Okay, this is _not_ cool. What have you been teaching him?"

"!" Laura glared at him. "Nothing like this! This is obviously _your_ territory, Keller!"

"This does not leave this room," Julian said firmly.

"I wasn't aware you were a _homophobe,_" Laura said snidely, capping her lipstick.

"I'm not!" Julian said. "Two of my _friends_ are gay! Besides, that's not what this is! He's cross dressing!"

"He's two years old, Keller. Stop being a retard and help me clean him up. The remover's in the second drawer."

"—me?!"

"Yes, you. Unless you want me to take two hours longer."

"…"

Laura rolled her eyes and headed into the bathroom, mumbling something about 'I wonder who he gets it from'.

After a few minutes, Nate had been cleaned up, in time for Logan to arrive; Laura hurried to finish her hair, then grabbed her purse and ran out the door, returning a minute later for Julian, then another  
two minutes later to change her shoes, then about five minutes later, for her purse (having left it behind while changing her shoes). Julian suggested to Logan that he lock her out after the last time.

**…**

Julian watched Sofia go by, in a peach-colored dress, a strange boy on her arm. She was all smiles, and her hair had been done up quite elaborately, looking as if she'd spent hours curling it—in contrast  
to Laura's, which had been pinned up against her head quite simply, her hair-time taken by Nate's experimentation.

Laura turned from where she'd been talking to Nori (who had gone for shocking rather than classy), and her eyes found his. She still looked beautiful, more striking than the other girls present, even the  
said Nori and Sofia; he patted himself on the back for choosing to stay with her during the tough times. It hadn't been easy to support her through the introduction of the Shrimps, and at times it still wasn't  
easy. He knew it would never be easy, but he'd found the hardest things seemed to offer the best rewards.

She smiled at him, and it was affectionate, and solid, not a smile that said 'I have doubts, but I'm not telling you'. The former was something he was working very hard to promote. She headed towards him,  
and put her hand on his stomach; he felt very content at the moment and wanted to be nowhere else.

Laura's lips parted; she leaned forwards and whispered, just to him: "Your elbow is in the punch bowl, dumbass."

"What?" Julian pulled out his sleeve, sopping wet. "Aw, fuck—" he peeled off his jacket and found it had soaked through, bright orange, all the way up to his mid-bicep. "God damn it, _how?_"

"Does it really matter?" Laura asked.

He considered. "Nah."

Laura made a fist and popped one sleek, shining claw. "Here's to semi-casual!"

Over her bare shoulder, he caught sight of his brother disappearing into the crowd, after a Stepford Cuckoo, and started. "What the hell is _James_ doing here?" he asked.

Laura followed his gaze. "The same thing you are?" she asked. "Word to the wise…never confront anyone at a party. It makes for an ugly scene."

"Yeah," Julian said.

**…**

"Oh, my god…" Laura groaned, leaning her head on Julian's shoulder. "You are…you've got to…be…_kidding me, _effing…kidding me. There is no way…"

"We have to," Julian said, grimacing.

They wobbled, still drunk from the night prior—they had done _a lot_ of drinking, almost comparable to Laura's birthday—and had been horrified to be woken up from the school rec room's sofa  
by an amused Scott, who informed them that the presentation ceremony was in half an hour.

A general panic had ensued. They'd had to shower in the school locker rooms, and Laura hadn't had time for make-up; Julian had slipped in the shower multiple times and hurt his back (which was  
still sore from Gladiator's punches, despite Josh's healing attempts).

They'd just been informed they would have to make a small speech.

"It'sh okay," Laura said suddenly. "Ish okay. No…worries…we jush…say…say thanks, right?"

"Don't lishp. I mean, lisp…"

"Fuck. FUCK!" Laura threw back her head; her body went with it and she slammed into Julian, who barely caught her without falling over himself.

They were in line, waiting to be called onto the podium to receive their diplomas. Laura's hat was on lopsided; Julian reached up to straighten it, and ended up tilting himself. "Whoa, that's…really weird…"

"I CAN'T SEE!" Laura screeched. He'd pulled the hat down over her eyes.

"Wait…wait…here," he said, pulling the hat back up by the tassel.

"_Keller," _a girl hissed, not having noticed any of this, as she anxiously awaited her turn. "Is there a Julian here? They've called you three times…"

"…OH!" Julian said. He pushed Laura away and headed up to the podium, willing himself very hard not to trip on his robes. He was successful; it took all his will to concentrate on the situation and not be  
distracted. Or throw up. But he was determined to leave a good final impression.

He managed to stand straight, focus on Scott, even shake his hand (although he missed on his first attempt, due to blurred vision); he accepted his diploma, blinked at it, then decided to try reading it later.

"A few words?" Scott asked, gesturing to the microphone.

Julian leaned in, thought of all the things he'd planned to say when he was sixteen and watching other people graduate (mostly self-promoting statements), but instead smiled and said 'Thanks', in the  
least slurred voice he could manage. Then he made his way off the stage, very carefully, and joined the group of graduates who had already received their diplomas—and turned to watch Laura.

Of course, _one_ of them had to mess up royally.

She stumbled on her way up, nearly fell sideways, off the stage once (he tried to give her a little mental help but accidentally pushed Emma—who was standing on the other side of the stage—into a  
vase of flowers); then lurched to the podium and grabbed it like a drowning victim receiving a life ring.

"…HI!" she exclaimed.

In the audience, Logan stared, hard, at his clone, who was about to cause rumors and jokes—at his expense—to last him a healing-factored lifetime.

She was _drunk. _

Logan paled.

"I jush want to tell you…you all mean a lot to me…y'know? Because…I _love _you guys…and…wait…" Laura looked to the side; Scott was poking her arm, still amused, trying to hand her the  
diploma. "…shut up! I'm talking…here…okay? No manners…my…_ohhhh…_"

She reached to the side, under her armpit, and yanked the rolled diploma out of Scott's hand, rather rudely. "Wot the hell's…this?" she said, staring at it.

"Your diploma, Laura," Scott said, grinning. "Congratulations."

"CONGA RATS TO YOU TOO!" Laura shrieked, throwing back her head in laughter—and collapsing behind the podium.

Logan covered his face. She wasn't done.

"OHMIGOD!" she gasped from the floor. "I LOSHT my EARRING! WAIT! NO…NO BUDDY MOVE!"

"Please, extract her from the stage," Emma said, trying to remain calm.

"WAIT—I THINK ISHTS MY CONTACTSH!"

"It's okay, Laura…let's go down, over there," Scott said calmly, holding his hand out to her as she lay on the floor.

"NO ISHTS NOT!"

"Laura…you don't _wear _contacts," Scott whispered, taking her flailing hand and heaving her up. She swayed, looking around in panic, then made a face.

"…" Emma froze, whatever she had been about to say fading away as Laura vomited on Scott's shirt, quite violently. He closed his eyes.

"OHMIGOD!!!! I'm SORRY!" Laura started trying to dab at the mess with her sleeve (only rubbing it in further).

"It's okay—Laura—let's go," Scott said firmly, leading her down the stage. She twisted her ankle on the last stair, but he continued to half-drag her to the grads group. "That should take  
care of entertainment for the day," Scott said to Julian, under his breath. "And here I was thinking about hiring _professionals._ Do I owe you anything?"

Julian wobbled as Laura sagged against his shoulder. She held up a wavering finger.

"We take…cash…'n credit," she said.


End file.
